caffeine

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A janking in progress

Strong Bad Email #91

Strong Bad answers an email from Justin in Murfreesboro, TN. Justin asks why Strong Bad has never given any caffeine to his whiny brother, Strong Sad. Strong Bad has been looking for a project for the upcoming All-Wide Science Fair, so he decides to try Justin's suggestion. Hilarity ensues.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, The Cheat, Marzipan, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Homestar Runner (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Strong Bad's Basement, The Field, Marzipan's House, The Classroom

Date: December 10, 2003

Running Time: 2:38

Transcript

STRONG BAD: And coming in at number 91, it's: E-Maaaaaaaaaaail!

{reading}

Dear Strong Bad,
It must be really annoying living
with someone as whiny as Strong Sad.
Why don't you slip him some caffeine?

Justin
Murfreesboro, TN

{Strong Bad says "Tekken" instead of "TN"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Ohhhhhhh. (devilish laugh)

{Strong Bad clears the screen and types again}

STRONG BAD: Dear Justin, In addition to the cut of your jib, I likes the sound of your town. Murfreesboro. But we got the All-Wide Science Fair just around the corner and I've been straining for a project. So far alls I've come up with is the effects of gasoline. {pauses a bit} On fire. {stops typing}

{cut to a blue-print-style background that displays what Strong Bad says as he says it}

STRONG BAD: So, I figure I just drop a couple of heaping spoonfuls of Sanka into Strong Sad's orange juice, and collect the ensuing data. I'll definitely get first place. And who knows? I might even win me a Noble Peacie Prize!

{Cut to view of Strong Bad and Strong Sad in the basement. Strong Bad is holding a legal pad, which he makes periodic notes in. One of Strong Sad's eyes is open unnaturally wide, and he holds his hands high above his head. His fingers twitch from time to time, and the music is also full of wrong notes.}

STRONG BAD: So Strong Sad, tell me, how do you feel?

STRONG SAD: {speaking very quickly and clapping his hands together over his head} I feel great! I feel great! I feel great! I feel bad. I don't even watch football! I don't even watch football! I can't remember my legs!

{Cut to Strong Sad following an annoyed The Cheat on hands and knees. Strong Bad is in the background, watching and taking notes.}

STRONG SAD: Hey The Cheat! Listen Up! Hodododododo! What did I say? What did I just say? Did I say anything? What about this one: hoo hee haw whadiawah! Did that mean anything? {Strong Bad voice-over begins} Did I offend you? I hope I didn't offend you.

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} After being exposed to my control Cheat, subject started acting way creepier than normal...like, even for Strong Sad.

{cut to Marzipan's house, where she is trying to paint with Strong Sad next to her. We see Strong Bad in the foreground making more observations and taking more notes.}

STRONG SAD: Marzipan, Marzipan! What do you wanna make? You wanna make some wood-davers with me? I got pine cones! I got peanut butter! I got everything we need! I said pine cones! pine cones! Gonna be successful! Gonna be phenomenally successful! Sell 'em at the corner store! Sell 'em at the five and dime! Marzipan, you gotta get on the train, get on the wood-davers train! Here goes the wood-davers train! It's takin' off! It's a new century!

{Strong Sad continues to ramble on as Marzipan walks away and Strong Bad continues}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The subject's condition continued to deteriorate, and he began making up arts and crafts activities. Like, wood-davers.

{cut to Strong Bad's basement. Strong Mad is sitting on the couch, and Strong Sad is hanging upside-down from the ceiling}

STRONG MAD: GET DOWN!

STRONG SAD: No!

STRONG MAD: GET DOWN!

STRONG SAD: No no! ...Parakeet!

STRONG MAD: {in disbelief} Did you just say "parakeet"?

{Cut to a field with Strong Sad and Coach Z. Strong Sad alternates bouncing on his left and right legs. Strong Bad is in the background making notes and observations again.}

STRONG BAD: In the final stages, subject became: {The following words come up on the screen as Strong Bad says them} Erratic, violent, and Really Funny to Watch.

STRONG SAD: {slapping Coach Z in the head} Hey Coach Z! Hey Coach Z! What-a-ya-got? What-a-ya-got for me? How about that? Wanna play some soccer? {while Coach Z is speaking} Some hockeyjock? I got whatever it takes! Hey, ya want some salad? Pasta salad? Tuna salad? Fruit salad?

COACH Z: Woo! Cut that out! Don't hurt me! I don't wanna die! I'm just an old man— {Strong Sad steals Coach Z's hat after it falls to the ground} Ooh! Ooh!

STRONG SAD: ...Salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! {Slowing down} Salad... ...Salad as a rock... Um... Coach Z, what are we doin' here?

COACH Z: You was tryin' to jank me!

STRONG SAD: Feelin' woozy...

{Strong Sad falls on his back. Coach Z's hat lands on his stomach. Cut to the All-Wide Science Fair auditorium stage, where a picture of Strong Sad on his back is shown on Strong Bad's easel under the caption "Results:"}

STRONG BAD: At this point, the test subject...was dead. {Gasp from the audience}

STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} I was not dead!

STRONG BAD: ...Shut up. And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion: ...Strong Sad's adopted. {another gasp from the audience}

STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} That's not true either!

{The Paper comes down as a close up of Strong Bad's project is shown}

Easter Eggs

• At the end of the e-mail, click on the various pictures on the right side of Strong Bad's science project board to see some very cool cars.
• Click on the folder full of papers on the left side to see Strong Bad's, erm, original project.
• After you've checked out those, roll your mouse on the right side of the screen to find an arrow. If you click the arrow, you'll see Homestar Runner's project.
• Click on the puddle and you'll see (and probably hear) Homestar explain his project.

HOMESTAR: For my project, I opted to use more social studies...a-than science.

CROWD: Ah, I see! Impressive! (miscellaneous chatter)

Fun Facts

Trivia

• With the exception of the Halloween toons, this is the first time Coach Z is seen without his hat on.
• Two versions of this were put up on the site. The first, which can be viewed on a mirror here has Coach Z saying "I'm just a crazy old man!" while being slapped. However, the version currently on the site has him saying "I'm just an old man!" The reason for this change is unknown.
• The "All-Wide Science Fair" sign is printed on reamed paper, possibly from the same printer as The Paper.
• In the end when we see Strong Bad's Science Project, the sheet of paper in a pocket under the blue words "What's a Wood-daver" reads:

Strong Bad's 
Science Fair Project 
(not "The Effects of 
Gasoline on Fire" again)

Remarks

• Ironically, Sanka is decaffeinated coffee.
• Strong Bad says "coming in at 91" at the beginning of the email. (This is e-mail #91.) In the email flashback, he says he lost count of his emails somewhere around #51, but it could have been a coincidence.
• The sound of Strong Sad coming down from his caffeine 'high' is the same sound used in gimmicks when Strong Bad's computer shut down and was about to explode.
• Strong Sad's bulging eye is an upside-down copy of Bubs' smaller eye.
• Strong Bad says "After being exposed to my control Cheat..." without the usual preceeding "The."

Glitches

• Strong Sad is moving so erratically that it looks like he has two mouths after Marzipan walks away.

Real-World References

• When reading "TN" Strong Bad says "Tekken" instead of "Tennessee". Tekken is a popular fighting video game by Namco.
• The "Shark-mobile" may be a reference to the video game Wario Ware. Alternately, the "shark-mobile" may be a reference to an old Hot Wheels car called "Sharkruiser."
• "Two heaping spoonfuls" is a possible reference to Folger's instant coffee, on which its directions state to put two heaping spoonfuls of coffee into a mug and then pour hot water on it.
• "Salad as a rock" Is reference to the '70s disco song, "Solid as a Rock."
• "Cut of your jib" is an old sailors' phrase, used to describe the expression on one's face, or the appearance of a ship from afar (the shape of the foresail, or "cut of the jib", described a ship's character). [1]

DVD Version

• All of the Easter eggs are intact, but have been condensed down into two Easter eggs.
  • The first DVD Easter egg (found via the hidden Strong Bad Icon to the left of the Project Title) features a peek at what Strong Bad's original product was, closeups of all three of the "cool cars," and a closeup of the paper in the folder. Plus, the fire from the original project burns a corner off The Paper.
  • The second DVD Easter egg (found via the hidden Strong Bad Icon to the right of the Project Title) combines Homestar's Project and his comments on it.

External Links

• watch "caffeine"
• view the Flash file for "caffeine"