Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 07:49, 12 August 2008

The girls attend a basketball game in order to flirt with athletes

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Arrow'd Guy, Rats, Basketball Player

Transcript (Scene 1)

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {college boys!!} So and So! {mathlete boys!!} What's Her Face! {any boys!!} The Ugly One! {shrimp po'boys!}

CHEERLEADER: Okay gals and gal-related girls! We fit to look...

SO AND SO and WHAT'S HER FACE: ...so-o good!

THE UGLY ONE: The-e same!

CHEERLEADER: ...at the Sub-JV basketball game tonigh. All the cute boypieces will be there, and maybe sloppy seconds for you!

{At this point, the player is allowed to give two items to any of the girls, each of which has different effects (see below.)}

Transcript (Scene 2)

{The girls walk outside under a sun with fangs.}

ONE OF THE GIRLS: Walking is like a fashion show for shoes!

Item Effects

NOTE: "Girl" means the recipient of the item, if the reaction is not character-specific.

Basketball

Scene 1

GIRL: I can practice my moves on this basketball. Oh hey Basketballa, I know it's the wrong sport, but we can still get to first base.

{Arrow'd Guy appears in a referee's uniform and shoots arrows at the ball.}

ARROW'D GUY: YOU DON'T GOT NEXT!

GIRL: Aww...

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {sounds of disapproval}

Kissyface

Scene 1

GIRL: Plant one on my Basketballa!

OTHER GIRL: Who are you talking to?

GIRL: Oh, uh, that's what I'd say... if a boy was here.

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {sounds of disapproval}

Perfume

Scene 1

GIRL: Boys love Pubescence Perfume. Accentuate the awkward!

{Girl now has "scent lines" indicating the presence of perfume.}

Mirror

Scene 1

GIRL: Gotta make sure my cover-up isn't flaking. Nope, horrible scarring acne is safely concealed.

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {sounds of disapproval}

Suntan Lotion

GIRL: Better put on some sunscreen. Ooh, SPF negative fifty!

{Girl is now tanned.}

Hairspray

GIRL: Cover your lungs, everyone. I gotta crisp these bangs up with some Ozone Killa Hairspray.

{Girl has a cloud over her head to indicate hairspray.}

Ringtone

GIRL: This new Brainkreig ringtone is hawt!

RINGTONE: Jugga jigga wugga! Ding-doodling-doodle-ding!

{A rat pokes his head in.}

RAT: Oh dang. Was that Brainkreig? I love cheese. I mean Brainkreig.

{A rat now sits at the girl's feet.}

Text msg

If girl does not have a rat

RINGTONE: Ding-doodling-doodle-ding!

GIRL: It's a text msg! Mby it's a BOY! No, just mm.

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {sounds of disapproval}

=If girl does have a rat

RINGTONE: Jugga jigga wugga! Ding doodling-doodle-ding!

{A rat pokes his head in.}

GIRL: It's a text msg! Mby it's a BOY! No, just mm.

{The rats trample the girl.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently.

{The rats scamper off, leaving the girl on the ground with marks and footprints all over her.}

GIRL: Does this mean I can get outta my contract?

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {chuckles}