User talk:Thesmokingmonkey/Archive 1

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[edit] Free Country, USA

I really really really like the way "Free Country, USA" has shaped up. So much that I'm going to nominate it for featured article (which I think it already has been, but I'll second the nomination). I fixed up a few things here and there and added some info on the characters' jobs and whatnot. I left notes in the edit summaries where I was unsure of things. Again, good prize! — It's dot com 02:45, 8 Sep 2005 (UTC)

Yikes - I'm kind of stupified. I just left you a note conceding the article needed external revision. But a compliment? In real, non-digital life, I usually toe the ground, look away, and say "Uh, thanks, glad you liked it" if and when I get compliments. And I'll do that here, too. Glad you liked it. THE SMOKING MONKEY 02:55, 8 Sep 2005 (UTC)
P.S. I'm not the only one who thinks so. — It's dot com

[edit] Does anybody read this stuff?

A lot of people create user pages, and do a good job, but in the back of their mind they've gotta be wondering "Is anybody ever actually gonna read this?" I know I think that. Well, yours has been read, at least by one person, and I must say the line "though [not] I'm not suicidal, or teamed with a cagey old veteran cop nearing retirement, or short, or Australian" had me laughing hard. Sometime you must tell more of the story about the looter and your arresting him twice. — It's dot com 18:10, 14 Sep 2005 (UTC)

P.S. When I was proofing my post, I noticed an extra word there in what I quoted. I didn't see it the first time I read it, so nothing was taken away from the enjoyment of the humor. — It's dot com

Hey, It's dot com. Glad you found something funny in the content of my page - I agree completely that people have to wonder if anyone reads them. I read other user pages primarily to learn more about a user. The better constructed pages tend to reflect how serious the user is about being part of the community - a page that says "I don't know what to write here" or "hi" really doesn't give a window into what the person behind the IP address is really like. And though it's in the Wiki rules not to disclose too much about yourself, a little bit is fine. I think it's a neat way to give a persona to the linked signature.
Back when the page was perpetuating the notion that the Smoking Monkey was, in fact, a monkey and the Director of Primate Studies at The Louvre, it made me chuckle. It all started with the picture - a slightly bewildered, striped-suit wearing chimp holding a pipe and enjoying what seems to be mineral water at an open air cafe told a story that wrote itself. I made the "character" because I wasn't really sure what to expect here at the HRWiki, and I also wanted people to laugh a little should they stumble upon it. After a while, though, I seriously doubted anyone was stumbling on it, and I also noticed at least one anonymous user freaked out at me when I reverted their edit. So I thought, "why not just do a normal user page?" If someone was curious (or angry) at me, they could see I wasn't some jerk pretending to be a monkey.
But, me being me, I couldn't leave humor out of the equation. And, as long as there's one person out there who might get a kick out of it, I'll add some stuff from time to time.
And do you really want to hear the looter story? You know what happens when you ask soldiers to talk about war stories! They go on and on and on about them. But if you want to hear it, I'd be glad to tell. It is a pretty funny anecdote. — THE SMOKING MONKEY12:01, 16 Sep 2005 (UTC)
I read it too. Top rate userpage. Thunderbird 08:58, 26 Sep 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Geddy

Now, The Smoking Monkey, surely there is no real connection between the Geddup Noise and that guy Geddy. First of all, "Geddup Noise" is just a mutation of "get up noise." TBC had two real choices on the spelling, "Gettup" and "Geddup," and nobody except Martha Stewart and my annoying ex-girlfriend actually enunciates -tt-, so that leaves "Geddup." Furthermore, the shortening of "Geddup" to "Geddy" follows an expected pattern in English. You even see it all over the site: Marzipan→Marzy; King of Town→Kingy; Computer→Compy; Laptop→Lappy. And my last point is something you wrote yourself: "It could be a total coincidence." If it could be a total coincidence, and given the fact that there is no other corroborating evidence, don't you think that makes a bad fun fact? — It's dot com 06:10, 27 Sep 2005 (UTC)

Ben, sometimes the STUFF process is too harsh. STUFF, as far as I can see, is meant to seperate the wheat from the chaff. The first time I saw geddup noise, that is the first thing that popped into my head when Homestar said it. I did not, however, suggest it anywhere. I didn't think it was important. Then, someone did. Curiously, whoever this was didn't even vote for their own remark.
So, I bucked the trend and voted yes. I don't think my votes really carry more or less weight than anyone else (except anonymous voters), and the STUFF forum is a chance for voters to express the reasoning behind their opinion. So, I expressed mine: I inlcuded the caveat because everyone had already signed the death warrant for the fact.
I agree with you - it's a bad fun fact. But that still didn't stop me from believing it, however tacitly - every other "geddy" I've heard relates to the musician, and I believe (perhaps erroneously) that TBC know about Rush. One Geddy, as it were, begets another.
And, just for my sake, you're not cross with me, are you? I know you're very particular about STUFF stuff, and I always seem to be plugging in squares into circle holes there with my comments. It would be no trouble at all to keep my paws off of the comments sections. THE SMOKING MONKEY 10:32, 27 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Dave, I'm not cross with you... quite the contrary. The fact is, I respect your opinion very much, which hopefully you already know. I was ready to close out this item hours ago, but I wanted the chance to at least speak to you about it first. This item shot past the 20-vote threshhold rather quickly, and, due to the lopsided nature of the vote, I was concerned that anyone on the minority side would feel like they were being crushed by a ton of bricks (or a Heavy Lourde, if you prefer). Since you were in that minority, I felt I needed to keep it open until I could confer with you. Just lookin' out for my friend, is all. — It's dot com 14:14, 27 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Thanks for clearing that up, Ben. Geddy Lee's pretty lame, anyway. :) THE SMOKING MONKEY 15:30, 27 Sep 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Signature (Or, Span, Span, Span, Spannity SPAAAAN!)

What exactly are you trying to do? small_logo.pngUsername-talk 18:13, 5 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Oh, man. I noticed (or thought I noticed) Joshua had changed the green in his sig so that it now matched mine. So, I thought a little tweaking was in order. Then, I remembered I had really liked The Paper's sig, and this is what I came up with:
When I switched from my previous sig to this one, every instance where it occurred in the wiki threw the existing timestamp off. Now, whether you think the sig is an aesthetic nightmare or not (yes, I did get very very carried away :) ), does anyone know how to, er, stop this crazy thing? THE SMOKING MONKEY10:54, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
Let me get this stright: You want a new sig, but don't want all the old ones to get changed. Right? Ok, this is what you need to do: Make the new sig in a subpage called /sig2 or /othersig or anything that you want. now change your preference to show the new sig. This way, every page with the old one would stay the same while every time you sign from now on will show the new sig. Elcool (talk)(contribs) 13:11, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
Thanks for the input, E.L. THE SMOKING MONKEY 13:35, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
No, I think he just doens't want all the timestamps after it to get all messed up. — It's dot com
Well, I fixed it. See the second-to-last version of it in the sig page history. Your problem was that you didn't close all the span tags, and you didn't close things in the order you opened them. Before you change it, however, I just wanted to comment on what a bold, straightforward, and, er, classy signature you have at the time of this writing. — It's dot com 13:26, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
Yeah, I'm just going to leave it...for now. Thanks for fixing it, though, Ben - the span coding got away from me.
The only reason I wanted to change (and got away with my creation) is Joshua changed his sig's color to my shade of green. When I went to color (whenever that was), I went from blue to green. Then I noticed Joshua had the same green, so I made mine a shade darker. I'm in a verdant, shady struggle for my individuality! Maybe I'm wrong - I do have mild red/green colorblindness. I'll check again, though. I know the standard "spartan blue wikilink" works for you, but I needs me some flourish with mine. Does anyone have an orange signature? THE SMOKING MONKEY 13:35, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
From what I collected (You know from what page), only Rainer and The Chort have orange signatures. Elcool (talk)(contribs) 13:41, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
The fact that Joshua's sig is green notwithstanding (there are, after all, only so many colors that look good in a signature—just look at all the ones that don't) and for what it's worth, the bold green to me has always conveyed a sense of confident, mature strength, and I really like the way it ties in with your user page. I'm not trying to argue for the status quo per se, because if you don't like your sig then by all means you should get a new one. I'm just suggesting that you shouldn't change it merely for the sake of changing it. — It's dot com 14:05, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)
Ah! A trip to the wikipedia "colors" list finally put some meaning behind the numerals. I'm going to give this a shot and hope (color name omitted) remains either unknown or unpopular! THE SMOKING MONKEY 14:26, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Kicked the habit

Hey Dave. I was watching Tucker Carlson last night and it seemed like your monkey friend kicked the habit. She is now taking long mornig walks instead. Rogue Leader / (my talk) 03:13, 9 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Rogue --- no, no way...I mean, no, no way....the South African monkey?!?! It's free?!? THE SMOKING MONKEY 03:20, 9 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Well, I think it may be the one in Japan, and no, the South African one isn't freed... yet. Rogue Leader / (my talk) 03:22, 9 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Man, Rogue, I'm real messed up. But I appreciate the relevance! Major bonus points for even noticing! Seriously! Gotta dance now...woooo! THE SMOKING MONKEY 03:26, 9 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Your welcome. Have fun with dancing. Rogue Leader / (my talk) 03:31, 9 Oct 2005 (UTC)

[edit] An upadate needed.

Hi, dude! Just wnated to tell you that notstrongnorbad has changed his name to AbdiViklas. Maybe you could update his link and description. Anyway, rock rock on! Elcool (talk)(contribs) 05:16, 10 October 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Talk to anonnies

You can talk to anonymous users. Just click the talk link next to their names in the recent changes. — It's dot com 22:27, 11 October 2005 (UTC)

Er, I knew that...I meant it more figureatively, as in "if you were registered, I would make a concerted effort to talk to you" as opposed to just shooting random words of advice out in the dark, hoping the user on the other side would even be receptive and not fly into a trollish rage. Kinda like you shooting me words of the light? Regardless, five or six bad edits in a row are frustrating, even if you sense the anon. user is trying to be helpful. I don't have enough pizazz to use the stick and carrot at the same time. — THE SMOKING MONKEY 23:25, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
No, looking back, that was literal. But I should have said: "register and I'll explain 'the process,' " but then there's still the sticky wicket about whether or not the anon. user checks the recent changes...or listens to people named after devious primates...but, all this notwithstanding, I'll try the "talk" link for anons in the future. This is the Monkey who Smokes (once in a blue moon, these days), signing off (eh, you're glad I went with the new 'conservative' sig rather than the new 'conceptual nightmare' one, aren't you, Ben?)
      • power down
THE SMOKING MONKEY 23:34, 11 October 2005 (UTC)
I think you can assume that the vast majority of anonnies do not check the recent changes page. I was a logged-in user for a couple of months before I started checking it regularly. (I stuck mainly to my watchlist.) And I must say, nothing quite gets someone's attention quite like "You have new messages" branded in orange across the top of the page. (Didn't it get your heart going a little just now when you saw it for this message? It always does me.) In fact, it was a welcome message on my IP talk page that encouraged me to take that step and finally register. — It's dot com 16:35, 13 October 2005 (UTC) (By the way, regarding the "Danger-Skew" fact (of which I, like you, am in favor), "that's the joke" is actually an argument against.)
I guess I need to go to STUFF boot camp! The phrase there was not meant to be dismissive, it's the "the fact is right: that is the joke in case you missed it." I presume you thought it was funny when you saw it because you construed Bubs was reading from a cue card - that's what got me. TBC captured the "crappy home-movie" genre softly there, more heavy-handedly later (when Renaldo asks before and after his takes whether he should start and stop). As I've said before, my STUFF comments are always a little off, and I will continue to make them fearlessly, because I don't mind if they're edited or deleted...just misinterpreted.
Anyway, I'm still looking for that anonymous user that I want to say, "hey, buddy, why not join?" similar to AbdiViklas. Maybe I'll just orange bar the masses. On the flip side, every so often there's the anon. user (let us call them Mao Xidong) who makes a series of terrible edits, a terrible Five Year Editing Spree that case, getting the orange bar across the top screen would be a good idea.
WikiBiz aside, how ya been, Ben? How's the sysop life treating you? I could sure use a freaking cigarette these days. — THE SMOKING MONKEY
Well, Dave, I'm good. I will set aside the fact that you said "how ya been, Ben" and pretend I'd never heard that one before. ;) Sysop life is fine... the only notable difference is I can edit protected pages, delete pages in general, and punish evildoers. Not much else has changed. I'm still the same me. I want to encourage you in your effort to become the Non-smoking Monkey, for the same reason Homestar gives when punched in the gut by Swiss Cake Rolls. — It's dot com 18:23, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
Look, It's dot com, let me level with you: you are my first completely digital friend. I have no idea who you are, pretty much like you have no idea who I am. The digital dimension of this type of interpersonal relation takes away a very, very crucial element from non-digital relations: context. In non-digital life, once you get to know me, you quickly realize I like to joke around a lot. Not the "being a jerk" type, the "trying to make you laugh" kind. You strike me as being a pretty serious dude, to the point where your comments confuse me. You've seen the confusion before, on this page, in fact, as in the "Geddy" thing - I honestly thought you were coming down on me. I have a really, really hard time telling who's being stern or abrupt and who's just typing succinctly and earnestly. I only typed/said "how ya been" in the most casual, inoffensive way I knew how. As always, no offense meant, and, as usual, I can't tell if you're offended or just "kidding back." In any case, you're doing a great job, and I'm glad the Wiki is doing so well. Peace, and 5000 g'sTHE SMOKING MONKEY 21:21, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
*sigh* Oh, Dave. Kidding back. Always kidding back. Reread my comment above. I have inserted one of those emoticon things to help make my meaning clear. If you're ever in doubt, you should probably just mentally put one after each sentence I type. ;) I have an extremely dry sense of humor, which is why I find the joke that is my name so funny, as well as the reply "Oww, those things are bad for you" to being punched by what one thinks is floating Swiss Cake Rolls. Like you said, you have no idea who I am, so you don't know that I'm really not that serious a dude at all, and it takes a lot to really offend me. I only come across that way because I think seriously about an absurd cartoon (much the same way Jerry and George would think about things), because I can use long words and understand deep concepts, and because sometimes I'm forced to when I'm acting in my capacity as a sysop. You should hang out at the IRC sometime. It's easier to get to know folks there. And seriously ;), I'm glad you're trying to completely quit smoking. — It's dot com 23:02, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
There's so sighing in wiki! Gotcha loud and clear - I'm dry, but man, you are dryyyyy. I've made two of those IRC sessions, and I somehow end up being busy or just forgetting altogether. I will try for next week's one, however. And, as always in cliched closing, it's all good in the hood, or something to that effect. ^_^ — THE SMOKING MONKEY 12:33, 14 October 2005 (UTC)

[edit] IRC

I don't want to barge into the discussion, but from what I learned in my few days in the IRC channel is that if you stay long enough, a discussion would eventualy arise. Just leave it open. there always a few people there, just hanging out (Don't tell nobody, but secretly we're really just hangin out.) Come! join us! Elcool (talk)(contribs) 15:28, 14 October 2005 (UTC)

Hey, no worries, E.L. I'll try to make it this Monday - I go as "TSM." See you there! — THE SMOKING MONKEY 15:41, 14 October 2005 (UTC)

[edit] God Bless This Mess

On being a signature-related web standards nerd: It'd be much easier to maintain your signature if rather than using the mess of <small> tags that you have now, if you just used one simple styled <span> tag, by adding the font-variant:small-caps; Style Delcaration to your outer span!

Cheers! TTD Mocha! Bark! 17:54, 19 October 2005 (UTC)

Cheers to you too, torpedo dog, but all I gotta do is {{User:Thesmokingmonkey/sig}} for my sig; my "many shades of green" experiement was a mess, so I dropped it before it began. Thanks for the suggestion, though. — THE SMOKING MONKEY 18:36, 19 October 2005 (UTC)
Well, this applies to your current sig: You could reformulate it as '''''[[User:Thesmokingmonkey|<span style="color:#177245;text-decoration:underline;font-variant:small-caps">the Smoking Monkey</span>]]''''' and it shows up like so:
the Smoking Monkey
I suppose I just put it in the old heading since it seemed most relevant…
And I only need to {{User:Thetorpedodog/SIG}} for mine, in case you didn't notice ;)
TTD Mocha! Bark! 22:56, 19 October 2005 (UTC)

TTD - Thanks for all your helpful tinkering, but I'm going to stick with the old sig, because your more elegant code produces a slightly different scale than I wanted:
the Smoking Monkey vs. THE SMOKING MONKEY 11:18, 20 October 2005 (UTC)

[edit] d'ween!

sighn up to be in my halloween party on my user talk page! include costume!User:Jibney 23:11, 30 October 2005 (UTC)

I will attend, but only if you can satisfactorally answer Fermat's Last Theorem for me. — THE SMOKING MONKEY 15:39, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
Well, your reply here led me to read Fermat's last theorem, and I will share the interesting trivia I found there (I already knew the bit about Star Trek): "A sum, proved impossible by the theorem, appears in an episode of the Simpsons, 'Treehouse of Horror VI'. In the three-dimensional world in 'Homer3', the equation 178212 + 184112 = 192212 is visible, just as the dimension begins to collapse. The joke is that the twelfth root of the sum does evaluate to 1922 due to rounding errors when plugged into most handheld calculators." — It's dot com 16:02, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
Man, those Simpson writers, always fitting in minutiae for us nerds. I admit that I was ignorant of the theorem until a few months ago when I read about it in the the Economist. Not being a mathmetician (or even remotely proficient in math) I was still intrigued by a theorem written by a man who viewed math as a hobby that caused great math minds fits. I eagerly look forward to Mr. Jibney's solution! — THE SMOKING MONKEY 16:51, 31 October 2005 (UTC)
For the record, my calculator showed 1921.9999999558672254029113283703 as the 12th root of the sum of 1782 and 1841, each raised to the 12th power. Not an integer, for sure, but pretty darn close. — It's dot com
Close, but no cigar! ^_^ I think that's what makes it so great: seemingly simple on the surface, maddening in practice. The weirdest thing is that this theorem was just a random scribble in one of Fermat's books...maybe one day, when lazily reading something, I can come up with a profound insight or unprovable formula. Based on the quality of my doodles from the last 20 years, I'm much more likely to draw a cartoon penguin or some kinda robot. — THE SMOKING MONKEY 17:01, 31 October 2005 (UTC)

[edit] New image

I'm holding off deleting your old image until you replace it with your new one. By the way, who's that next to you there? — It's dot com 03:13, 15 November 2005 (UTC)

My Straine sheila. I would have left her in, but 1) she has no idea what in strewth Homestar Runner is and 2) she has these huge faux eyelashes that just don't look right. Something like this: W_W. Roughly. — THE SMOKING MONKEY

[edit] Dude, where's my monkey?

Havn't seen you in a while, man. Where have you been? Are you quiting now on us? I miss your long comments and funny replys. Elcool (talk)(contribs) 10:23, 27 November 2005 (UTC)

Yikes! Me? Missed? ^_^ The truth is, to keep my comedy chops sharp, I've been over at Uncyclopedia as Wild Weasel creating, creating, creating. Not to take anything away from this wiki, but here I always feel restrained. I'm a writer, and sometimes us writing types go glass-eyed over the more gnomish aspects (recent changes, templates, technical stuff guys like you are totally kick a** at) that make this Wiki what it is. I'm not cutting or running - I'll be back with some stupid stuff to say, but as for now, I'm having too much fun making articles where the humor content is 100% (or at least 95%) Monkey-created.
You've all been very good to me, even when I lost my temper and got prima-donnaish (Pasta Salad *ahem*), and I swear I'll make an IRC chat one of these days. Guys like you and It's Dot Com, Abdi and Rogue got shout-outs because I liked working with, or at least around, you. You all rock.
Guess I'm too much of an impatient free-spirit, E.L. But I'm not gone.
HUTTAH!THE SMOKING MONKEY 02:48, 29 November 2005 (UTC)

E.L. Cool: So, uh, you're really cool.

The Smoking Monkey: Thank you, ma'am, would you care for pasta salad?

E.L. Cool: Yeah, totally, I'd be way into pasta salad. {to himself} Man! So cool! {to The Smoking Monkey} Uh... Say something else.

The Smoking Monkey: I have to be going, Elcool. I've got some important wikis to edit.

E.L. Cool: Oh... Will I ever see you again?

The Smoking Monkey: Ex-obably yeah.

Elcool (talk)(contribs) 05:04, 29 November 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Hola

Just popped in and felt like saying hello.--Image:Homsar-in-motion.gifImage:The-cheat-small.pngHomsarroksImage:kookysig.gif 21:50, 27 November 2005 (UTC)

Well, hola right back at you, Homsarroks. The truth is, whether he's modestly hot, or playing Connect-4 incorrectly, Homsar does indeed rock. A true example of, well, non-sequitors we can all follow without fear of our jenga-ship being sunk. THE SMOKING MONKEY 03:21, 29 November 2005 (UTC)

[edit] hm...

Why is the wiki bar on the left, the tabs and user info on the top, and that bar on the bottom so big? I could probably fix it, if you wanted me too.... — talk Bubsty edits 16:37, 19 December 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Smoking?

does the smoking monkey mean the monkey that's smoking a cigarette, or like the phrase "The smoking gun"-- Benol, aka Coach B 02:56, 23 December 2005 (UTC)

See What's the Deal With the Monkey Name, Anyway?It's dot com 03:28, 23 December 2005 (UTC)

[edit] We miss you when you're gone

Just wanted to say that. :) — It's dot com 14:20, 28 December 2005 (UTC)

Ach! I've been caber-tossed a nice sentiment! Hey, I miss you guys, too. And you know what else I miss? The Brothers Chaps releasing updates! Well, I suppose with all the merchadise sales, they must be up to their necks in, um, merchandise. Alas. Here's a happy decemberween to you and yours, Ben. — THE SMOKING MONKEY 14:49, 28 December 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Happy New Year!

I know it's a little late, I just wanted to wish you a happy new year, and may you come back to us, once more! Elcool (talk)(contribs) 11:11, 2 January 2006 (UTC)

Me too.TheThin 23:28, 4 January 2006 (UTC)

[edit] TMO?

Hi I just "discovered" your user page and your name is the image of someone on The Movies Online who gose by Justin in Bangor and is it you? hr.png NBBB(Talk · Contributions) 00:15, 7 January 2006 (UTC)

  • No, but I'm just as confused as anyone else. — THE SMOKING MONKEY 01:33, 9 January 2006 (UTC)

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