lackey
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Summary
Strong Bad Email #96
Steve from Victoria B.C. wants to know why the Cheat is such a dilligent lackey.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Bubs, Doregard, Puppet Homestar Runner (easter egg)
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} So innocent and email free.... That's you 'n me. {pulls up the e-mail and reads it aloud}
Hey, yo there Strong Bad! I was wondering why The Cheat is such a diligent lackey. Did you save his life one time and now he has to repay you? Steve Victoria, BC
STRONG BAD: {typing} BC? Whoa! This is an old freakin' email. Most of the emails I get are ADs. And the occasional JD. Wow. I wonder if it was written on like, a stone tablet. Or maybe some, uh, papyrus. Anyhow... {clears screen, continues typing} No, Steve, The Cheat is a good lackey because he "knows what's best" and "doesn't want to get left by the side of the road during a thunderstorm" or "taped to Pom Pom again." {clears screen, continues typing} It probably also has to do with the fact that I "treat him like a brother that's not Strong Sad" instead of "a little yellow squeaky thing that somethetimes steals my ladytypes." I also pay him real nice. Which isn't very difficult considering The Cheat "thinks pencil shavings are legal tender." Check it out...
{Strong Bad sharpens a pencil}
STRONG BAD: Hey The Cheat!
THE CHEAT: {walks in} Meh!
STRONG BAD: I'll pay you all these precious pencil shavings if you go pilfer me a cantaloupe from Marzipan's melon patch.
THE CHEAT: Mehneh! {runs out}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Ahhhh, look at him go. So excited, so naive...
THE CHEAT: {runs back in with cantaloupe} Meh!
STRONG BAD: Whoa, supa soivice! Thanks man. You can go back to whatever you were doin'.
THE CHEAT: {angry} Mehhhh!
STRONG BAD: Oh, right. Your "payment." Here ya go! {scrapes pencil shavings onto The Cheat's head}
THE CHEAT: Mehneh mehneh! {walks off}
STRONG BAD: Awwww, that's almost adorable... Now, what am I gonna to do with all my tons of new stuff? A sharp pencil, and a can-ta-loo-pay. The possibilities are endless! I suppose I could use the pencil to draw a little guy on the cantaloupe. {mumbling while drawing} Ooh, and then if I jammed the cantaloupe on the end of the pencil... Hey everybody look! It's Doregard! How ya doin' Do?
DOREGARD: Hey there mister Strong Bad! Well I'm fine, past couple days though.
{Cut to Bubs concession stand with The Cheat}
BUBS: Your total comes out to fifteen tooty-two!
THE CHEAT: Meh! {passing pencil shavings}
BUBS: What's this malarkey?
THE CHEAT: Mehneh! {Points to a sign saying: "We'll Gladly Accept: Cash, Money, or Cash Money". "Pencil shavings" has been added at the bottom}
BUBS: Well, if it's on the sign! Nice doin business witchya!
{The Cheat walks off with his new "Boy's hobby kit." Doregard shows up}
DOREGARD: Hey there Mr. Bubs. I'm from the collection agency. You missed your last payments. Gonna have to bust your kneecaps if ya don't pay up!
BUBS: Oh dag! You found me! {slams metal curtain, revealing "SB" graffiti}
{The Paper comes down.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa! Forgot about that one! I mean...
DOREGARD: Sure is some niiice graffiti!
Easter Eggs
- Near the beginning, click on "Stone Tablet" or "Papyrus" to see old-timey letters to Strong Bad.
- As of this writing not working, they worked before. If they work again, remove this text. Could be mirrored somewhere.
- Click on Doregard's head at the end to see a video of the Homestar and Doregard show!
- Click on the "SB" part of the graffiti to play a Strong Lib.
- Click on the top of the "boy's hobby kit" box to see what it says.
Fun Facts
- When The Cheat is buying the hobby kit, Bubs says, "and that comes out to thirteen-tooty-two" which is a reference to one of the Homestar Quiz answers for the question, "In the luau episode, how many glasses of melonade did Homestar say he drank?" "Tooty-two" was also part of the phone number in Strong Bad Sings. This appears to be one of the Inside Jokes.
- When Strong Bad says The Cheat doesn't want to be taped to Pom-Pom again he is referring to the e-mail your friends.
- When Doregard is in front of Compy 386, you can't see the contrast buttons.
- Strong Bad did not give The Cheat all the pencil shavings.
- Strong Bad's remark about "super service" (in a Brooklyn accent) is a Three Stooges reference.
- Doregard here is an actual cantalope, but The Brothers Chaps later created an actual Doregard puppet with a moving mouth that has not been used on the site but can be seen in their Comcast interview.
- When this email was first put up, you could click "Stone Tablet" and "Papyrus" to see fake emails written on said items. These have since been removed.
