date
From Homestar Runner Wiki
StrongBadEmail #81
Somebody asks Strong Bad what a date with Homestar and Marzipan is like. The chilling result gives everyone the jibblies.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {mimicking typing noises as he types "strongbad_email.exe"} Dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dib! {hits enter} Tick.
{reads}
Dear Strong Bad, Here's a question for ya. What do you think happens when Homestar and Marzipan go on a date? Dynomite Boston, MA
{STRONG BAD doesn't say MA, he says "And the state Boston's in."}
STRONG BAD: {typing} You know I've done a lotta thinking on the subject. And yes, Boston, you guessed it, it gimme the jibblies. So in order to watch from a proper, safe distance I made up the...
{STRONG BAD brings up the a> prompt and types run hsramerdsxr.exe as he keeps talking}
STRONG BAD: ...Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR! {the game's title screen appears} Using the most state-of-the-art polygoniest technologies, we can see what an actual date with Marzipan and Homestar Runner would be like without the risk of personal injury. Or vomiting. I think it would go a little something... a-like-a-dis-a.
{STRONG BAD dismisses the title screen, and the camera switches to the Compy's monitor. 3D, polygon-heavy images of MARZIPAN and HOMESTAR RUNNER stand on the screen with a pixelated backdrop of the standard grassy field. Below the scene, there are words for each character: Duh!, Buh!, Fuh!, and ???. As STRONG BAD clicks on the words, the character gains a quote bubble with the appropriate word:}
MARZIPAN: {on screen} DUH!
HOMESTAR: FUH! DUH! DUH!
MARZIPAN: BUH! DUH! FUH! Strong Bad is on point!
HOMESTAR: FUH!
{STRONG BAD exits the program.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} So that gives you a pretty good idea of the lurking horrors. But to really experience it firsthand we'd need to like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera, you know, in maybe that marshmallow place they always go to. So, we did. Let's check it out!
{Cut to a TV labeled "Strong Bad's New Secret Security Camera Monitor." It turns on, and we see a low-quality black-and-white feed of HOMESTAR RUNNER and MARZIPAN sitting at a table. In the background the front door is visible, it has the text "Marshmallow's Last Stand" on it. MARZIPAN is frowning.}
HOMESTAR: {on screen} Okay, okay, okay! Let's play again! What do you think I'll say next? Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?
MARZIPAN: This is the dumbest game I've ever played.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, c'mon! You're just being sore because you're losin'.
MARZIPAN: Okay, I'll go with Sid Hoffman.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sid Hoffffff...frenchman! Sorry! You lose again. I said Sid Frenchman.
MARZIPAN: Homestar, you said Sid Hoffrenchman. That was not even a choice.
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh, geez. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Let's see what else we got on the tube.
{STRONG BAD changes the channel to CAM 2. STRONG SAD appears on the screen. As STRONG SAD talks, the camera zooms in and smashes him in the face as STRONG MAD grunts offscreen. STRONG SAD gains lumps on his forehead throughout the ordeal.}
STRONG SAD: {punched} Ow! {punched} Please! {punched} Quit! {punched} Punching! {punched twice} Me-in-the-face! {punched five times} Since when did you start wearing a class ring?
STRONG BAD: Oh, beautiful!
STRONG SAD: With a camera in it?
STRONG BAD: Nice work, big bro!
{STRONG BAD changes to CAM 3, a view of Strongbadia.}
STRONG BAD: Everything seems to be in order in Strongbadi-
{THE CHEAT walks into the sight of the camera. He looks around.}
STRONG BAD: Oh! Perfect timing. Check out my security counter-measures.
{THE CHEAT touches the TIRE and is instantly electrocuted.}
THE CHEAT: {screams in Cheat-speak}
{A cardboard cut-out of a bear holding a shark springs up.}
THE CHEAT: {screams louder, runs away}
STRONG BAD: Bwahaha! Look at the little guy run! The Cheat totally freaks out whenever he sees a bear holding a shark.
{STRONG BAD switches back to CAM 1. HOMESTAR RUNNER is now kicking MARZIPAN in the shins.}
HOMESTAR: Hey Marzipan, can you feel that?
MARZIPAN: Yeahh...
HOMESTAR: What IS that?
MARZIPAN: Well, you're kicking me in the shins.
HOMESTAR: Oh, I think I'd remember something like that.
{HOMESTAR continues kicking MARZIPAN as STRONG BAD talks.}
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. {waves at the screen} We also switched Homestar Runner's gourmet coffee with Super Mud!
{HOMESTAR takes a quick sip of his "coffee", and immediately spits it all into MARZIPAN's face, while still kicking her in the shins.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa-ho-ho! That's great!
{View returns to the Compy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Marzipan's gotta face fulla super mud and I'm feelin' fine. The paper, would you bring this fine email to a close?
{The Paper comes down.}
STRONG BAD: {still typing} I gotta go reset that bear-shark. You guys can play that game if you want.
{STRONG BAD types "a> run hsramerdsxr.exe" and leaves.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the words "Lurking Horrors" to see a pulsating "Lurking Horrors" logo.
- At the end, Click on "Marzipan's" to more of what goes on an a Homestar and Marzipan date.
- {Cut to the camera footage of Marshmallow's Last Stand.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king!
- MARZIPAN: Homestar...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king!
- MARZIPAN: Homestar, what are you doing?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun king! Chun king! Chun king! Chun king! Chun king!
- MARZIPAN: {simultaneously} Stop it. You're getting on my nerves.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm trying to order the chun king.
- Click on the words "Super Mud" to see a can of it.
- Click on the words "That Game" to play Homestar's "Sid" game. (Yes, you can guess right.)
- Click on "hsramerdsxr.exe" to play Strong Bad's "H*R and Marzipan Dating Simulation XR"
Fun Facts
Trivia
- Sid Hoffman and Sid Frenchman came from when The Brothers Chaps were kids, and they were doing a play/game with their friend. The friend kept changing his character's name from Sid Hoffman to Sid Frenchman.
- Mike Chapman provides the characters' voices in the dating simulation, making them sound very much like their Powered by The Cheat versions.
Remarks
- Strong Bad has hidden video cameras in Strongbadia and Marshmallow's Last Stand. The Cheat also has one in the Computer Room.
- The Compy 386 seems to have a mouse in this e-mail.
Goofs
- The table appears to be levitating, as there is no leg in the middle holding it up. You might think that Marzipan's dress is concealing it, but when Homestar kicks Marzipan in the shins her dress moves to the right just enough to show that there is no leg.
- The kicking sound constantly plays during that part, even sometimes when Homestar is not kicking Marzipan.
Glitches
- You can cheat on the Sid game by clicking the other answer before Homestar says it.
- When Marzipan blinks on the closed-circut TV, her eyelids revert back to their regular color.
Inside References
- The Cheat touching the Tire may be a reference to the email "i rule".
- "Jibblies" is a reference to the e-mail your friends.
- The noise in the lurking horrors easter egg is the same as the secret eating banner in Meet Marshie.
Real-World References
- The bear holding the shark is possibly a reference to the book, Bear v. Shark, by Chris Bachelder. In it there is a discussion of a bear throwing a shark.
- Strong Bad's delivery of the word "butthole" is a reference to the popular catchphrase from the '70s TV series "Good Times."
DVD Version
- To access the Lurking Horrors and Super Mud easter eggs, use the angle button on your DVD remote.
- The Dating Sim XR game is disabled for obvious reasons.
- The Sid Hoffman/Sid Frenchman Easter Egg is still accessable, though it's now a video clip instead of an interactive game.
- The DVD version features hidden commentary by Mike, Matt, and Marzipan. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
