Cold One
From Homestar Runner Wiki
(Difference between revisions)
(No longer imageless'd!) |
(→Types of Ones: Gave all Cold Ones in the table an ID attribute. I'm going to need this for another new article I'm working on.) |
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! Type !! Picture !! About !! Appearances | ! Type !! Picture !! About !! Appearances | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="co" |
| <center>Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || Preferred by [[Strong Bad]]. || | | <center>Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || Preferred by [[Strong Bad]]. || | ||
*Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter Egg) | *Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter Egg) | ||
*Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad_email.exe]]; [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]] | *Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad_email.exe]]; [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="coolones" |
| <center>Cool Ones</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || A nice alternative on spring nights. || | | <center>Cool Ones</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || A nice alternative on spring nights. || | ||
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned) | *[[property of ones]] (mentioned) | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="notsocoldones" |
| <center>Not So Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:notsocold.PNG|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]]. || | | <center>Not So Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:notsocold.PNG|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]]. || | ||
*[[property of ones]] | *[[property of ones]] | ||
*[[impression]] | *[[impression]] | ||
*[[Happy Fireworks]] | *[[Happy Fireworks]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="roomtempones" |
| <center>Room Temp-A-Ture Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:roomone.PNG|45px]]</center> || A foreign brand brewed in [[:Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]]. || | | <center>Room Temp-A-Ture Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:roomone.PNG|45px]]</center> || A foreign brand brewed in [[:Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]]. || | ||
*[[property of ones]] | *[[property of ones]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="warmones" |
| <center>Wärm Önes</center> || <center>[[Image:warmone.PNG|45px]]</center> || Foreign brand straight from the oven. || | | <center>Wärm Önes</center> || <center>[[Image:warmone.PNG|45px]]</center> || Foreign brand straight from the oven. || | ||
*[[property of ones]] | *[[property of ones]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="conone" |
| <center>Cold None</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || Not to be wished on anyone || | | <center>Cold None</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || Not to be wished on anyone || | ||
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned) | *[[property of ones]] (mentioned) | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="onenotcold" |
| <center>One That Is Not Cold</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || The sender of [[property of ones]] almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all. || | | <center>One That Is Not Cold</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || The sender of [[property of ones]] almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all. || | ||
*[[property of ones]] (mentioned) | *[[property of ones]] (mentioned) | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="xtracold" |
| <center>Xtra Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Xtra Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || A step up from Cold Ones. || | | <center>Xtra Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Xtra Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || A step up from Cold Ones. || | ||
*[[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]]; [[theme park]] | *[[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]]; [[theme park]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="coice" |
| <center>Cold One Ice</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One Ice.PNG|45px]]</center> || Thrown at a [[Cow Lamp|moose lamp]]. || | | <center>Cold One Ice</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One Ice.PNG|45px]]</center> || Thrown at a [[Cow Lamp|moose lamp]]. || | ||
*[[portrait]] | *[[portrait]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="oldone" |
| <center><nowiki>'</nowiki>old One</center> || <center>[[Image:Oldone.PNG|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Pom Pom]], [[Homestar Runner]], and [[Strong Bad]]. || | | <center><nowiki>'</nowiki>old One</center> || <center>[[Image:Oldone.PNG|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Pom Pom]], [[Homestar Runner]], and [[Strong Bad]]. || | ||
*[[Summer Short Shorts]] | *[[Summer Short Shorts]] | ||
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*[[Play Date]] | *[[Play Date]] | ||
*[[hiding]] | *[[hiding]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="sbpaco" |
| <center>Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png|180px]]</center> || From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]]. || | | <center>Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png|180px]]</center> || From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]]. || | ||
*[[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|Strong Bad Screensaver]] | *[[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|Strong Bad Screensaver]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="colight" |
| <center>Cold Ones Light</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold Ones Light.PNG|97px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Wikipedia:Pabst Brewing Company#Old Style|Old Style]] beer logo ([[:Image:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]). || | | <center>Cold Ones Light</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold Ones Light.PNG|97px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Wikipedia:Pabst Brewing Company#Old Style|Old Style]] beer logo ([[:Image:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]). || | ||
*[[Ever and More!]] | *[[Ever and More!]] | ||
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] | *[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="expenseones" |
| <center>Expen$e Account Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Expense Account Ones.png|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed while on a [[business trip]]. || | | <center>Expen$e Account Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Expense Account Ones.png|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed while on a [[business trip]]. || | ||
*[[business trip]] | *[[business trip]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="codry" |
| <center>Cold Ones Dry</center> || <center>[[Image:coldonesdry.png|180px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]]. || | | <center>Cold Ones Dry</center> || <center>[[Image:coldonesdry.png|180px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]]. || | ||
*[[buried]] | *[[buried]] | ||
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*[[Baddest of the Bands]] | *[[Baddest of the Bands]] | ||
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] | *[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="coldsonlite" |
| <center>Coldson Lite</center> || <center>[[Image:coldsonlite02.PNG]]</center> || A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Molson|Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Wikipedia:Coors Light|Coors Light]] — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. || | | <center>Coldson Lite</center> || <center>[[Image:coldsonlite02.PNG]]</center> || A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Molson|Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Wikipedia:Coors Light|Coors Light]] — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. || | ||
*[[labor day]] | *[[labor day]] | ||
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*[[unnatural]] (Easter egg) | *[[unnatural]] (Easter egg) | ||
*[[Ever and More!]] | *[[Ever and More!]] | ||
| - | |- | + | |- id="coesb" |
| <center>Cold Ones Extra Stout Black</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG|180px]]</center> || "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." || | | <center>Cold Ones Extra Stout Black</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG|180px]]</center> || "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." || | ||
*[[Strong Badia The Free]] | *[[Strong Badia The Free]] | ||
Revision as of 17:46, 9 April 2009
Cold One is the most popular brand of beer in Free Country, USA. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually alcoholic or not, it is shown in Peasant's Quest that the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler. Also, since the Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion must be that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Room Temp-A-Ture Ones" could possibly be referring to the misconception that the English prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
The Property of Ones
- Main article: Bogus Mathematical Theorems
According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following Property of Ones:
Or in other words:
Types of Ones
| Type | Picture | About | Appearances |
|---|---|---|---|
| |  | Preferred by Strong Bad. |
|
| | | A nice alternative on spring nights. |
|
| |  | Enjoyed by Coach Z and Bubs. | |
| |  | A foreign brand brewed in Foreign Lands. | |
| |  | Foreign brand straight from the oven. | |
| | | Not to be wished on anyone |
|
| | | The sender of property of ones almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all. |
|
| |  | A step up from Cold Ones. | |
| |  | Thrown at a moose lamp. | |
| |  | Enjoyed by Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, and Strong Bad. | |
| |  | From the screensaver. | |
| |  | A light variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the Old Style beer logo (see comparison). | |
| |  | Enjoyed while on a business trip. | |
| |  | A dry variation of a Cold One, official beverage of Taranchula. | |
| |  | A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and The Cheat. It may be a reference to Molson, a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of Coors Light — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. | |
| |  | "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." |
