Talk:Crimes Committed by Strong Bad

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Ding! Crimes Committed by Strong Bad is a featured article, which means it showcases an important part of the Homestar Runner body of work and/or highlights the fine work of this wiki. We also might just think it's cool. If you see a way this page can be updated or improved without compromising previous work, feel free to contribute.

You are encouraged to add crimes that I have likely missed to the list.


[edit] Idea!

Instead of listing crimes in order of appearance, why not group the crimes under specific headings instead? For example:

Attempted Murder

  • Email homsar — Strong Bad attempts to kill Homsar with a Heavy Lourde.
  • Email cliffhangers — Strong Bad ties up the King of Town and Homsar, and dangles them over a cliff. He "resolves" them by cutting their ropes, causing them to fall.

Breaking and Entry

  • Email caper — Strong Bad and The Cheat break into Homestar's house to burglarize it. They are unable to steal anything, however, because The Cheat breaks the cow lamp, thus waking up Homestar Runner and forcing them to leave.
  • Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat attempt to break into Bubs' Concession Stand to steal Bubs' fund-raiser candy bars. They are caught by Homestar Runner and Coach Z when they attempt to blow the back door open with fireworks.
  • Email part-time job — Strong Bad breaks into Marzipan's house. It's not explained why, but it's believed he did so to check his email from inside.
  • DNA Evidence — Again, Strong Bad breaks into Marzipan's house to search inside her couch to find money. He leaves behind a trail of pecan-pie-filling footprints, and accidentally drops a vial of DNA Evidence.

Of course, some of these headings will have only one or two appearances beneath it, such as Rioting (disconnected) and Indentity Theft (credit card), but some will have plenty of material, such as Theft and Vandalism. By using this layout, this article would be greatly cleaned up and would become a high quality article. – The Chort 12:47, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Several Possible Crimes

Here are several things I found in the main toons on the website - nothing from DVD extras or SBCG4AP. I'm not a legal expert, so I don't know if I have the right crime every time, whether they should all be counted (things that happen in seemingly hypothetical sbemails for instance) but I thought I'd put them here to be included or not.

  • Reddest Radish - Along with The Cheat, and Strong Mad, Strong Bad steals a radish from Marzipan's garden. (Theft)
  • Jumping Jack Contest - Impersonating Pom Pom, Strong Bad steals Homestar's Trophy. (Theft, Identity Theft?)
  • Marshmallow's Last stand - Strong Bad steals and then destroys Homestar's Star. He also attacks Homestar with a bomb. (Theft, *Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Property Destruction?)
  • Luau - Strong Bad steals Marzipan's wood (Theft)
  • Bug-in-Mouth Disease - Strong Bad hits Homestar with a skillet and throws remote at him (Assault and Battery)
  • DNA Evidence - Strong Bad destroys Bubs' green apple snowcone bottle (Destruction of Property)
  • Homestar Preseblubbonts Presents - Using the Grabbo-Arm, Strong Bad steals Marzipan's purse. (Theft)
  • Happy Hallow-Day - Strong Bad suggests that he is going to steal goblin's hamster ball. (Theft)
  • Blubbo's Commercial - Strong Bad presumably has The Cheat fire a harpoon at Strong Sad and Coach Z (Accessory to attempted murder?)
  • Donut Unto Others - Posing as health inspector, Strong Bad knocks over Homestar's cardboard donut stand while putting an 'F,' on it, intentionally causing the donut greese to spill on and hurt Homestar. (Aggravated Assault, whatever impersonating a health inspector counts as)
  • Answering Machine 16.2 - Strong Bad steals many of Marzipan's valuables, and puts roman candles in her toilet. (Theft, Assault)
  • Little Animal - Strong Bad kicks both The Cheat and Strong. Mad (Assault & Battery)
  • CGNU - the content of the email suggests fraudulent activity associated with CGNU. (Fraud)
  • Vacation - Strong Bad tries to steal the bike from Pantsburg. (Theft)
  • Invisibility - Strong Bad steals a bunch of Swiss Cake Rolls and Punches Homestar. (Theft, Assault)
  • Dragon - Strong Bad burns Strong Sad's drawing with his BMW Lighter (Vandalism?)
  • English Paper - Strong Bad writes kyle smith's Englilsh paper for him. (Plagearism)
  • Autobiography - It is suggested that Strong Bad attempted to and was successful at counterfeiting money. (Counterfeiting) [I only put this in cuz he says "And it did work!" even though he's probably lying]
  • Caper - Strong Bad admits to setting fire to Strong Sad's underwears. [Arson?]
  • Suntan - In order to get Strong Sad to participate in his Ab Abber commercial, Strong Bad threatens Goobless. (Extortion)
  • The Process - Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar. (Assault)
  • Date - Strong Bad replaces Homestar's gourmet coffee with Supermud. (Assault?) [Assuming Supermud is hazardous to one's health]
  • Kid's Book - Strong Bad is shown to have defaced a book belonging to Strong Sad book. (Vandalism)
  • No Loafing - Strong Bad's "appointment" consists of jumping on Strong Sad in bed and shouting "I hate you" (Assault)
  • Caffeine - When studying Strong Sad, Strong Bad does not acquire proper informed consent. ([I'm not sure what that's called, violation of informed consent research guidelines for use of human subjects?])
  • The Bet - Strong Bad says that he is going to "make an indentured servant out of Strong Sad." [Not sure what that's called either, or if it can be presumed that he did it]
  • Car - Strong Bad punches Homestar with his tricked out fist. (Assault & Battery)
  • Lunch Special - Strong Bad floods out bubs to get a lunch discount. (Extortion, property damage?)
  • Dangeresque 3 - Strong Bad steals Strong Sad's sandwich to coerce him into participating in their film, and then eats the sandwich anyway. (Theft, Extortion)
  • Extra Plug - It is suggested that Strong Bad steals pretendous amounts of electricity from the KoT. (Theft)
  • Origins - Strong Bad presumably gives Strong Sad a belly button by attacking him with a powered drill. He and the On Point Kings also steal the KoT's dunce cap. (Aggravated Assault, Theft)
  • Rampage - Strong Bad's "regal rampage" consists of hitting the KoT with a sceptor. (Assault and Battery)
  • Yard Sale - Strong Bad conspires with The Cheat to steal various items from Homestar, including Homestar himself. (Theft/Conspiracy, Kidnapping?) [Homestar's consent is debatable].
  • Modeling - Strong Bad Karate chops the KoT. (Assault & Battery)
  • - Strong Bad throws an anvil at the audience. (Aggravated Assault)
  • Lady Fan - Strong Bad burns all of Marzipan's arts and crafts stuff, as well as her hair and person. (Vandalism, Assault)
  • Keep Cool - Strong Bad's pool administration is extremely negligent, including his use of improper chemicals and his policy of having people he hates swim during thunderstorms while holding large metal objects. (Criminal Negligence)
  • What I Want - Strong Bad is suggested to have put wildabeast pheromones in Strong Sad's laundry on at least two occasions, and returned an omlette to a hardware store for nigh on fifty bucks. (Assault?, Fraud?)
  • The Movies - Strong Bad blows up the theater with bazooka. (Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Property Damage?)
  • Concert - Strong Bad hits Strong Sad with a Sloshy record. (Assault & Batter)
  • Bike Thief - Strong Bad steals Pom Pom's bike and attempts to steal Homestar's bike, as well as admitting to stealing various people's lunches, girlfriends, and puppies. He also masquerades as a bush to get free pizza. (Theft, Identity Theft?)
  • Slumber Party - The games "find the load bearer" and "bed axe" both involve Property Destruction. He also attacks Strong Sad with the intent of dislocating his shoulder, having presumably previously dislocated the other in a similar fashion. (Property Damage, Assault and Battery)
  • Buried - Strong Bad rents out strong badia to unsavory characters for evidence disposal. (Aiding and Abetting...)
  • Hiding - Strong Bad cheats at hide n' seek. (Cheating)
  • Email Thunder - Strong Bad Destroys Homestar's computer with liberal amounts of Mountain Dew. (Property Damage)

Durniel 20:54, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I think most of these are good. The following need to go, though: English Paper, Hiding, Date and CGNU. The rest seem usable. --Jellote 22:52, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Categories: Vandalism vs. Destruction/Damage to property?

For the purposes of the crime categories, should property destruction crimes like blowing up the movie theater or pouring Mountain Dew on Homestar's laptop be put in the Vandalism category or a new category? Durniel 20:05, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Subsections

Should we divide the crimes farther into crimes of Fiscal, Physcial, Humane and others? --Jellote 23:37, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

There are quite a few, a subdivision might be called for. Those aren't legal categories with which I'm familiar, though. Is there any reason you picked those categories in particular? Durniel 05:39, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
Actually, I just pulled those off the top of my head. In retrospect, i recall my idea. It isn't practical.--Jellote wuz here 21:24, 10 July 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Black Market

I know that the only black market around here is at Bubs' concession stand, but Strong Bad has been a big part of it, right? Buying that unlicensed ferret ointment, stealing Strong Sad and Pom Pom's swords and attempting to sell them, and selling Strong Sad's predendix. 21:59, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Sure! Feel free to go ahead and add that to the article. – The Chort 16:02, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Assault/attempted murder

We're being quite inconsistent now about what qualifies as attempted murder and what is assault. Dropping someone off a cliff is assault, but dropping a video game on someone is attempted murder? Frankly, given the nature of cartoon violence, which is rather less clear than in real life, I think attempted murder should only apply in cases where Strong Bad clearly intends to kill his target, such as dropping the heavy lourde on Homsar or moving the mattress at the steep deep. In both of these case, Strong Bad clearly believes someone is going to die because of what he's doing. Otherwise, a charge of attempted murder is rather hard to hold up. Heimstern Läufer 01:38, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

I can see that. It's not attempted murder if you don't intend them to die and don't believe that they will die as a result of your actions. (If they do end up dying, it would be involuntary manslaughter.) — It's dot com 01:42, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, there's a lot of gray area there. I can see the Date Night instance being moved to 'assault,' but the others all reasonably seem to have intent to kill in my opinion, though there is room for doubt in the Marshmallow's Last Stand one and Blubbo's Commercial. Personally, I think the Clifhangers one is almost certainly attempted murder as well. Durniel 05:57, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
I've moved several now. My moves may seem a bit much, but here's where I'm coming from: in a cartoon world, we really can only know someone has malice aforethought if they actually state their intention to kill. I can see a case for moving cliffhangers to attempted murder, but again: characters fall off cliffs in cartoons all the time and it means nothing. Assault, definitely. Attempted murder is not likely to stand up in a cartoon court of law, though. Heimstern Läufer 08:52, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Bennedetto

Should we mention Strong Bad's kicking and "killing" of Frank Bennedetto in the Attempted Murder section? Theycallmefree (Talk | contribs) 11:44, 9 June 2009 (UTC) (left unsigned)

I dunno; Frank isn't really a person except in Homestar's eyes, and Homestar's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. If what's being harmed isn't a person, it can't be attempted murder, and in fact can't even be assault. Damage to property is the worst I think we could really charge him with here. Heimstern Läufer 13:19, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Furthermore, since it was nominally a defensive act of war, I don't think he's actually guilty of anything. Durniel 08:32, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
I suppose we could try to classify it as a war crime. ;-) Heimstern Läufer 08:43, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Hometar in bike thief

What does Homestar trying to steal the Lappy in 'bike thief' have to do with this article? Extraneous? Durniel 08:38, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

I don't know. But there was an attempted crime in bike theif. Strong Bad attempts to steal a bike. -Bubz

[edit] Other crimes

Is there a place to put crimes of other characters? The great Reversinator!

[edit] Research ethics violation?

Should we add that Strong Bad supposedly conducts genetic experiments on the Cheat? (DNA Evidence) Still This Guy 22:55, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Maybe The Cheat agreed to this. Elcool (talk)(contribs) 07:13, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

[edit] Crimes by other Characters

Does anyone else think we could use a page for crimes comited by characters other than Strong Bad and Bubs? I was thinking "Crimes comited in Free Country USA" and Strong Bad and Bubs's sections would link to their articles. Guybrush20X6 23:09, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

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