Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar

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Revision as of 15:52, 9 August 2021

"Seriously, Marzipan, how do you get so smart?"

While Homestar is on "vacation", Marzipan spends some quality time with his cardboard double.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Cardboard Homestar, Strong Sad, Bubs, Homestar Runner, Cardboard Marzipan (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House, Marshmallow's Last Stand, Marzipan's Backyard, Bubs' Concession Stand

Date: Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Page Title: Cut her some FLAX!

Running Time: 1:48

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 3

Transcript

{Marzipan is sitting on her sofa holding a book called "Algonquin Stew".}

MARZIPAN: You know, Homestar, I disagree with what you said about the underlying theme of Chapter 8 in this book. It's really not about man's struggle with double-sided tape. It's a metaphor for the Mesopotamian social hierarchy during the Bronze Age.

{Shift view to see a cardboard cutout of Homestar wearing glasses and with a butterfly instead of a propeller on his cap. Marzipan supplies the cutout's voice, imitating Homestar's. When she does, she looks away, gains a heavy brow and an underbite that resembles Homestar's mouth.}

CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: Sewiously, Marzipan, how do you get so smart? Don't you see you are a smart?

MARZIPAN: Well thanks, Homestar. I guess I am kind of smart.

{Title screen: "Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar"}

{Cut to a scene in Marshmallow's Last Stand. Strong Sad is playing violin and has a mustache, and Cardboard Homestar has a green tie wrapped around where his neck is drawn.}

MARZIPAN: Oh, thank you, Homestar. This is so romantic.

CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: You are so smart, Marzy-pan.

{Scene of Marzipan adding a bottle of "CUT ME SOME FLAX! (seed oil)" to something in a bowl in her kitchen.}

MARZIPAN: And I always like to add a drop of flaxseed oil. Gotta get those Omega-3s!

CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: Marzipan, you're so smart.

{Scene of Marzipan playing guitar and singing in the Field.}

MARZIPAN: Marshmallows are fluffy;

CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: {also singing} You are so smart Marzipan.

{Marzipan is at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs puts a carton of eggs on the counter.}

BUBS: There you go, Marzipan! My last batch of organic batteries.

MARZIPAN: Thanks, Bubs!

CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: You shop so smart, Marzipan.

BUBS: Yeah. When is ol' Homestar gettin' back from vacation?

MARZIPAN: Oh, um, he, um, decided to stay a couple more days. {Smiles nervously} Yeah, couple more days, yeah. {Smiles nervously again}

{Cut to Marzipan's living room.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan? Marzipan? {Her closet door is boarded shut. Homestar's voice comes from within.} Can you let me out now? {Knocks the door} I'm pretty sure there's no cake in here. It's been about three weeks now, and you'd think I would have found it. All I've been able to find in here is some coats, and a broom. Unless it's a broomcake! Is it a broomcake? Ooh, let's try this broomcake. {Noises of labored eating. The door thuds.} {Weakly} Uh, Marzipan? This is a really bad broomcake. {With renewed vigor} Ptooey! {Continues knocking the door} Can you let me out, please? Oh, wait—coatcake?

{The scene goes black and "end" appears.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sing-song} Maybe it's a coatcake!

Easter Eggs

• Click on the "e" in "end" to see a short scene with both cardboard characters.

  {Cardboard Homestar and Cardboard Marzipan are sitting on Marzipan's couch. Homestar and Marzipan can be seen barely onscreen, facing away from each other, manipulating each other's characters}

  CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: And then I told him there was cake in the closet. And that's how I got some peace and quiet for three weeks.

  CARDBOARD HOMESTAR: Marzipan, you're so smart.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• The Algonquins are a Native American tribe centered in Quebec. It may also be a reference to the Algonquin Round Table of literary fame.
• Mesopotamia refers to the region now known as modern Iraq, and some of the surrounding countries. The name comes from the Greek words "between" and "river", referring to the basins of the Euphrates and the Tigris rivers and the area in between.
• The Bronze Age is a period of prehistoric society following the Stone Age, when working with copper and tin was the most advanced form of metalwork.
• Flax seed oil is vegetable oil made using the seeds of the flax plant.
  • Flax seed oil is rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, which have certain health benefits.
• The "organic batteries" refers to organic food, which is supposed to lack toxic pesticides, or any harmful artificial ingredients such as hormones. It also refers to Battery Cage eggs. As these are condemned by animal rights organizations, Organic Batteries would appear to be a contradiction, and evidence of Bubs' ever-shady deals.

Trivia

• When the short was first released, there were no nails in the boards. This was fixed later on in the day.
• This toon followed a 41-day-long "Baby Break" prompted by the arrival of Matt Chapman's and Jackie Chapman's baby.

Remarks

Regular Eyed Cardboard Homestar

• In the TV Time Toons Menu's preview, Cardboard Homestar's eyes are shaped like Homestar's normal eyes and have no glasses, and the fence in the foreground is missing.
• In the scene where Cardboard Homestar and Marzipan are sitting on the couch, you can clearly see large folds in Cardboard Homestar's knees and torso, so it will look like he is sitting down. The folds should create creases, which will affect the looks and rigidness of cardboard, but throughout the rest of the short, the knees and torso are uncreased.

Goofs

• During the Easter egg, when Cardboard Marzipan talks (and bends over) you can see the background inside the crinkles on the edge of the cardboard.
• Strong Sad's soolnds are in front of Marzipan's seat.
• On Strong Sad's violin, the strings enter the tailpiece far too close to Strong Sad's chin— the strings of an actual violin enter near the edge of the tailpiece. Also, assuming that the gold-colored item at the end of the bow is the screw, Strong Sad is holding his bow backwards.

Inside References

• Marzipan pretending Homestar is on vacation refers to Happy Fireworks, when Marzipan was on vacation and Homestar invented Cardboard Marzipan as a replacement.
• Strong Sad wears a mustache.
• Homestar mentions cake.
• Homestar first uses the phrase "a smart" in the email stupid stuff.
• This is the second time Marzipan's teeth and eyebrows have been seen, the first time being Cool Things.

DVD Version

• This short is titled simply "Quality Time" on the DVD menu.
• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Homestar Runner, Ryan Sterritt)

MIKE: Matt had a baby.

HOMESTAR: This is my best cartoon!

MIKE: {laughing} Really?

HOMESTAR: Yeah.

MIKE: You're n— not in this cartoon.

HOMESTAR: Yeah, I am! Check me out! Me and Marzipan was reading a book about gonky stew.

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR: See, look at me!

MIKE: You look so smart with glasses!

HOMESTAR: Yeah, those are my smart glasses. And my butterfly... propeller that I put on.

MIKE: Look at that corrugated... style.

HOMESTAR: That's good. Did you make that corrugations?

MIKE: I did.

HOMESTAR: You shoulda done, uh, um, some oil pastel on it, maybe.

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR: For an art project.

MIKE: Yeah. {pause} That f—

HOMESTAR: Cut me some flax... seed oil!

MIKE: {when Marzipan starts singing} Did you help write that song?

HOMESTAR: Yeah, I did. I did those lyrics.

MIKE: Really?

HOMESTAR: That second verse.

MIKE: (muttering} All right.

HOMESTAR: The second verse.

MIKE: What kind of, uh, appliances run on those batteries you guys just bought?

HOMESTAR: Um, there's one that's like a stir blender. And it's, uh, pancake.

MIKE: Okay, a pancake—

HOMESTAR: Pancakes run on 'em.

MIKE: Okay.

HOMESTAR: And, um—

MIKE: Biscuits.

HOMESTAR: Omelette.

MIKE: Yeah. {laughs}

{silence until the closet appears onscreen}

HOMESTAR: Who's in there?

MIKE: Uh, ah—that sounds like you. Say— s— Do a talk!

HOMESTAR: Me?

MIKE: Yeah, sounds like—

HOMESTAR: That guy sounds like, more in-a-boxy-ish than I do.

MIKE: In a closet.

HOMESTAR: In a box.

MIKE: Buy a bag.

HOMESTAR: Go home in a box. {Mike laughs} Who's that guy? He seems kinda dumb, whoever's in there. In that— Not smart like me!

MIKE: No.

HOMESTAR: Not red-glasses smart.

MIKE: Red-gla— {laughs}

HOMESTAR: Ryan's got red glasses.

MIKE: Ryan is red-glasses smart. Sally Jessy Raphael is red-glasses smart.

RYAN: She's very smart.

MIKE: Really?

HOMESTAR: Mensa.

MATT: {very lightly, in a sing-song voice} I've got a cool car!

Fun Facts

• "Buy a bag... Go home in a box" was the tagline of the 1991 horror movie Popcorn; it was also used as the page title for Jibblies 2.
• Sally Jessy Raphael is a former talk show host known for her large red glasses. She hosted the show Sally from 1983 to 2002.
• Mensa is a high-IQ society, open to people who score at the 98th percentile or higher on intelligence tests.

External links

• watch "Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar"
• watch "Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar"
• forum thread re: "Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar"