Character Videos

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Pick a tape, any tape.

The Character Videos is the current biography page for the main characters of the website. The menu features a nice stack of VHS tapes and the VCR. Each character introduces himself or herself except The Poopsmith and Pom Pom, wherein Homestar himself makes the introduction. The Cheat's language has been thoughtfully subtitled for the viewers.

Date: July 14, 2003

Page Title: Characters

The Videos

Transcripts

"Don't forget 'moron'!"

"Hoo-hah!"

"(What are you going to do about it?)"

"Ladies, form a line to my left for makeouts! Dudes, form a line to my right for high fives!"

Homestar Runner

Page Title: Homerun Hitter!

Place: The Field

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello. Greetings, one and everyone. Welcome to me.... Homestar!... Runner!... Homestar Runner. Um... what else? I pretty much run the show around here. I date the only girl, and have the only propeller cap. {propeller cap twirls} And can run, and jump, and kick the fastest, highest and like nobody's business. If I had to pick one word to describe myself, it would probably be... Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. Or Homestar. Either one, really. They both fit.

{Strong Bad sticks his arm into the scene.}

STRONG BAD: {says one of the following lines, picked randomly}

Don't forget "doofus"! Don't forget "moron"! Don't forget um... "Lionel Richie"! HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, that too. That's another good one. In closing, I look good in red. Check it out. {turns around, sings while shaking his rear} Buttdance, buttda-a-ance!

Coach Z

{Page Title: Drop Down and Gimme 20!!} {Places: Coach Z's Locker Room}

COACH Z: {looking slightly offscreen} Is that thing on? {turns to the camera lens} Hey there, ho there! I'm the Coach! The Coach Z, I'd guess you'd call me. Or plain old Coach is fine, seein' as I'm the only one around, so, probably no one else would answer to that. You say "Hey Coach!", and I'd say "Yeah?" or..."That's me!" or..."Hoo-hah!" {waves his arms in the air} Any one of those. There's rumors flyin' around that I sleep in one of these lockers {gestures to the lockers behind him}, but uh, that's just not true. I usually crash on this bench here. {gestures to the bench behind him} My back's not in real good condition. {rubs his back} And now, I'd like to perform my hip-hop single, "These peoples try to fade me." {holds up a microphone, begins to sing} A one-two, a one-two—!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {appears in front of camera} Sorry. We're all out of tape.

The Cheat

{Page Title: Incredible Cheating Action!} {Place: The Field}

THE CHEAT: {speaking in The Cheat with English subtitles} (Yeah, I'm The Cheat. What are you gonna do about it? ...That's what I thought. Now let me finish. I help Strong Bad cheat at stuff. Hence, the name. Duh. I also DJ down at Bubs' on Friday nights. I'll put you on the guest list if you give me twenty bucks. I make cartoon animations with my computer. Don't ask me to make a video for your band. You guys suck. My main man Strong Mad protects me from larger predators, like being sat on by Strong Sad or Pom Pom. I've got a gold tooth. Wanna see it? Tough. ...Okay, fine.) {bares a toothy smile at the camera showing his gold tooth and there is a "shing" noise} (Now turn that camera off before I throw this bust of Van Buren at it.) {throws the bust at the camera} Meh!

{crash sound is heard, static comes up when the statue hits}

Strong Bad

{Page Title: Get ready for the new!} {Place: Strong Badia}

{Strong Bad is seen standing next to several wooden props, including one of Homestar Runner with a snake wrapped around his head. He is moving some of the props around.}

STRONG BAD: Hold on, I'm not done with the props yet! {turns to camera} Greetings, party people in the place to be! I am called Strong Bad! Hand over all your moneys in a paper and/or plastic bag! Ladies, form a line to my left for makeouts! Dudes, form a line to my right for high fives! Like I said, I'm Strong Bad. I've been described as cool, awesome, hot, video games, the hottest, and real real hot. Me and my big brother and our The Cheat pretty much run the show around here, as well as serve as a sort of multi-purpose criminal element. Yeah, we got a lot of—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahe-he-hem.

STRONG BAD: What are you doing here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I was gonna get a high five, but, I see that I'm already here. And with a snake on my head!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's right. So I'm gonna have to charge you double. You know, since you're both here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That sounds reasonable! {pronounces it re-ZON-able}

STRONG BAD: Okay, I only accept gold nuggets. Or maybe Denver Nuggets. ...Whatever you got on ya. Chicken nuggets.

Fun Facts

• Homestar Runner
  • Homestar shows off his butt dance again multiple times.
  • Homestar could only hold his breath for about 3 seconds in Halloween Fairstival, but in the older Yearbook Character Page, he could hold his breath for about 11 seconds.
  • Homestar also appears to have a nervous twitch, which would be revealed in later cartoons, as his head repeatedly snaps back and forth while talking.
• Strong Bad
  • "Party peoples in the place to be!" is a reference to an Ultramagnetic MC song called "Ego Trippin'", during which before the song, the announcer says, "Party peoples in the place to be! Just for you, it's the Ultramagnetic MCs!"
  • The Denver Nuggets are a professional NBA basketball team.

Easter Eggs

• To see Homsar's character video, click "Eject" on the VCR.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The Flash file shows hidden descriptive text. These are the various VHS tapes from the Easter egg in the email "12:00." The text reads as follows, in order:
  • Yo! MTV Raps
  • Condorman
  • Hagler vs. Hearns
  • YCDTOTV (season 2)
  • Moscow Peace Festival
  • car commercials
  • "V"
  • The Commish
  • space shows
  • M*A*SH* final episode
  • Joy of Painting
  • Strong Mads b-ball game
  • Slam Dunk Contest(Spud Webb)
• The sound quality in some videos is more crisp than that in most toons.

External links

• view the characters menu
• view the Flash file for the characters menu