Coach Z's Problems
From Homestar Runner Wiki
(Difference between revisions)
(Created page with '"I have more than two prablems." As explained in Main Page 11 and Who Said What Now?, Coach Z has claimed to have ''"more than two problems…') |
(some fixes) |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[Image:2probs.png|thumb|"I have more than two prablems."]] | [[Image:2probs.png|thumb|"I have more than two prablems."]] | ||
| - | As explained in [[Main Page 11]] and [[Who Said What Now?]], [[Coach Z]] has claimed to have ''"more than two problems"''. An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems: | + | As explained in [[Main Page 11]] and [[Who Said What Now?]], [[Coach Z]] has claimed to have '''"more than two problems"'''. An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems: |
==Medical== | ==Medical== | ||
| Line 24: | Line 24: | ||
*He called [[Marzipan]] [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 5.0|while being drunk]], along with Bubs. | *He called [[Marzipan]] [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 5.0|while being drunk]], along with Bubs. | ||
| - | ==Anti- | + | ==Anti-Social Behavior== |
*He wears a [[underlings|disturbingly small bathing suit]] when swimming, and doesn't realize that it makes others uncomfortable. | *He wears a [[underlings|disturbingly small bathing suit]] when swimming, and doesn't realize that it makes others uncomfortable. | ||
*It has been implied that he [[Marzipan and Coach Z's Relationship|has a crush on Marzipan]]. He has occasionally made [[Fall Float Parade|"inapprapriate" comments]] about her and has [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2|let it slip]] that he snuck into her house. It now seems that he has been [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2|given a restraining order]] preventing him from coming within 500 feet of [[Marzipan's house]]. | *It has been implied that he [[Marzipan and Coach Z's Relationship|has a crush on Marzipan]]. He has occasionally made [[Fall Float Parade|"inapprapriate" comments]] about her and has [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2|let it slip]] that he snuck into her house. It now seems that he has been [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2|given a restraining order]] preventing him from coming within 500 feet of [[Marzipan's house]]. | ||
| Line 37: | Line 37: | ||
See [[Coach Z#Coach Z's Accent]]. | See [[Coach Z#Coach Z's Accent]]. | ||
| - | ==Lack of | + | ==Lack of Generally Common Knowledge== |
*Despite being a coach, he [[secret recipes|doesn't know what a basketball is]]. | *Despite being a coach, he [[secret recipes|doesn't know what a basketball is]]. | ||
*He's [[rampage|bad at abbreviations]]. | *He's [[rampage|bad at abbreviations]]. | ||
Revision as of 02:43, 26 June 2010
As explained in Main Page 11 and Who Said What Now?, Coach Z has claimed to have "more than two problems". An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems:
Contents |
Medical
- He has "problems with his feet", including athlete's foot, bunions, corns and calluses.
- He has mentioned several times that he has a bad back.
- When his bathing suit is removed, he leaks a black fluid.
- He has bad hand-eye coordination.
Psychological
- He thinks that he is a mother.
- He sometimes forgets what's real and what's just in his head.
- He has an obsession with butts.
- He seems to believe he's in a relationship with Bubs.
- He has short-term memory loss.
- He once asked a drawing he made to be his bride.
- He believes that a sketch of a cell phone is a real cell phone.
- He asked Homestar Runner to marry him.
- He has an imaginary friend named "Real Live Actual Mr. Blangcaster Next Door", and by the look of his outline, is very shady looking.
Alcoholism
- He has been drunk multiple times, usually on Listerine.
- He spiked the punch at the senior prom with Listerine.
- He called Marzipan while being drunk, along with Bubs.
Anti-Social Behavior
- He wears a disturbingly small bathing suit when swimming, and doesn't realize that it makes others uncomfortable.
- It has been implied that he has a crush on Marzipan. He has occasionally made "inapprapriate" comments about her and has let it slip that he snuck into her house. It now seems that he has been given a restraining order preventing him from coming within 500 feet of Marzipan's house.
- He was sent to juvenile prison.
Hygiene
- He holds the record for the longest time gone without showering.
- He wears sweaty pants.
- He showers with spit.
Speech Impediment
Lack of Generally Common Knowledge
- Despite being a coach, he doesn't know what a basketball is.
- He's bad at abbreviations.
- He claims to only know a few words, such as "pfargtl", his "favorite animal".
- At one point, he believed that the shower heads in his locker room were his "drippy, broken speakers".
- He believes a cardboard box with a detached microphone is a record studio.
- He thinks cooking with hydroelectricity means running a hot dog under the shower.
Financial
- He claims he has money, but not much.
- He lives in a gymnasium locker room.
- He frequently has his power shut off because he forgets to pay his bills.
- He has occasionally attempted to be sent to prison, since he would be guaranteed "three square meals a day".
- He can't afford "money cost" ice cream.
Miscellaneous
- He often pukes his pants.
- He carries a bottle of questionable water with him at all times for questionable reasons.
- Even when he finds he's eating something awful, he still eats it.
- He enjoys covering puke in sawdust, claiming that "Sawdust makes everything delicious".
- He admits he likes a good chafe.
- He never seems to notice or complain that there is itching powder in his jock strap.
