Coach Z's Problems
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Defender1031 (Talk | contribs) (→Anti-Social Behavior: surprised this wasn't on here.) |
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[[Image:2probs.png|thumb|"The Coach Z says, 'I have more than two prablems.'"]] | [[Image:2probs.png|thumb|"The Coach Z says, 'I have more than two prablems.'"]] | ||
As explained in [[Main Page 11]] and [[Who Said What Now?]], [[Coach Z]] has claimed to have '''"more than two problems"'''. An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems: | As explained in [[Main Page 11]] and [[Who Said What Now?]], [[Coach Z]] has claimed to have '''"more than two problems"'''. An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems: | ||
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==[[Alcohol]]ism== | ==[[Alcohol]]ism== | ||
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*He was sent to [[Play Date|juvenile prison]]. | *He was sent to [[Play Date|juvenile prison]]. | ||
*He has been known to respond to "what's up" with information about his [[Big Butts|butt]] or other embarrassing physical problems, according to a [[Decemberween Short Shorts|song about how to be more socially acceptable]], sung by Homestar. | *He has been known to respond to "what's up" with information about his [[Big Butts|butt]] or other embarrassing physical problems, according to a [[Decemberween Short Shorts|song about how to be more socially acceptable]], sung by Homestar. | ||
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| + | ==Financial== | ||
| + | *He claims he [[These Peoples Try To Fade Me|has money, but not much]]. | ||
| + | *He lives in a [[Coach Z's Locker Room|gymnasium locker room]]. | ||
| + | *He frequently has his power shut off because he [[Homestar Presents: Presents|forgets to pay his bills]]. | ||
| + | *He has occasionally [[Blubb-O's Commercial|attempted to be sent to prison]], since he would be guaranteed "three square meals a day". | ||
| + | *He [[secret recipes|can't afford "money cost"]] ice cream. | ||
==Hygiene== | ==Hygiene== | ||
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*He wears [[shapeshifter|sweaty pants]]. | *He wears [[shapeshifter|sweaty pants]]. | ||
*He [[hremail3184|showers with spit]]. | *He [[hremail3184|showers with spit]]. | ||
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==Lack of Generally Common Knowledge== | ==Lack of Generally Common Knowledge== | ||
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*He thinks [[environment|cooking with hydroelectricity]] means running a hot dog under the shower. | *He thinks [[environment|cooking with hydroelectricity]] means running a hot dog under the shower. | ||
| - | == | + | ==Medical== |
| - | *He | + | *He has "[[rampage|problems with his feet]]", including [[labor day|athlete's foot]], [[Doomy Tales of the Macabre|bunions, corns, and calluses]]. |
| - | *He | + | *He has [[Coach Z's Character Video|mentioned]] [[rampage|several times]] that he [[slumber party|has a bad back]]. |
| - | *He | + | *When his bathing suit is removed, he [[underlings|leaks a black fluid]]. |
| - | *He has | + | *He has [[cliffhangers|bad hand-eye coordination]]. |
| - | *He [[ | + | *He once had [[A Decemberween Mackerel|chronic athlete's tongue, rub rash, and hot pooey]]. |
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| + | ==Psychological== | ||
| + | *He [[garage sale|thinks that he is a mother]]. | ||
| + | *He [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 8.0|sometimes forgets what's real and what's just in his head]]. | ||
| + | *He has an obsession with [[butts]] and [[butt-patting]]. | ||
| + | *He seems to [[Date Nite|believe he's in a relationship with]] [[Bubs]]. | ||
| + | *He has [[mini-golf|short-term memory loss]]. | ||
| + | *He once asked a [[Wormdingler|drawing he made]] to [[Trogday 08#Easter_Eggs|be his bride]]. | ||
| + | *He believes that a [[diorama|sketch of a cell phone]] is a real cell phone. | ||
| + | *He asked [[Homestar Runner]] to [[Baddest of the Bands|marry him]]. | ||
| + | *He has an [[imaginary|imaginary friend]] named "Real Live Actual Mr. Blangcaster Next Door", and by the look of his outline, is very shady looking. | ||
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| + | ==Speech Impediment== | ||
| + | See [[Coach Z#Coach Z's Accent|Coach Z's Accent]]. | ||
==Miscellaneous== | ==Miscellaneous== | ||
Revision as of 17:19, 13 September 2012
As explained in Main Page 11 and Who Said What Now?, Coach Z has claimed to have "more than two problems". An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems:
Contents |
Alcoholism
- He has been drunk multiple times, usually on Listerine.
- He spiked the punch at the senior prom with Listerine.
- He called Marzipan while being drunk, along with Bubs.
Anti-Social Behavior
- He wears a disturbingly small bathing suit when swimming, and doesn't realize that it makes others uncomfortable.
- It has been implied that he has a crush on Marzipan. He has occasionally made "inapprapriate" comments about her and has let it slip that he snuck into her house. It now seems that he has been given a restraining order preventing him from coming within 500 feet of Marzipan's house.
- He was sent to juvenile prison.
- He has been known to respond to "what's up" with information about his butt or other embarrassing physical problems, according to a song about how to be more socially acceptable, sung by Homestar.
Financial
- He claims he has money, but not much.
- He lives in a gymnasium locker room.
- He frequently has his power shut off because he forgets to pay his bills.
- He has occasionally attempted to be sent to prison, since he would be guaranteed "three square meals a day".
- He can't afford "money cost" ice cream.
Hygiene
- He holds the record for the longest time gone without showering.
- He wears sweaty pants.
- He showers with spit.
Lack of Generally Common Knowledge
- Despite being a coach, he doesn't know what a basketball is.
- He's bad at abbreviations.
- He claims to only know a few words, such as "pfargtl", his "favorite animal".
- At one point, he believed that the shower heads in his locker room were his "drippy, broken speakers".
- He believes a cardboard box with a detached microphone is a record studio.
- He thinks cooking with hydroelectricity means running a hot dog under the shower.
Medical
- He has "problems with his feet", including athlete's foot, bunions, corns, and calluses.
- He has mentioned several times that he has a bad back.
- When his bathing suit is removed, he leaks a black fluid.
- He has bad hand-eye coordination.
- He once had chronic athlete's tongue, rub rash, and hot pooey.
Psychological
- He thinks that he is a mother.
- He sometimes forgets what's real and what's just in his head.
- He has an obsession with butts and butt-patting.
- He seems to believe he's in a relationship with Bubs.
- He has short-term memory loss.
- He once asked a drawing he made to be his bride.
- He believes that a sketch of a cell phone is a real cell phone.
- He asked Homestar Runner to marry him.
- He has an imaginary friend named "Real Live Actual Mr. Blangcaster Next Door", and by the look of his outline, is very shady looking.
Speech Impediment
See Coach Z's Accent.
Miscellaneous
- He often pukes his pants.
- He carries a bottle of questionable water with him at all times for questionable reasons.
- Even when he finds he's eating something awful, he still eats it.
- He enjoys covering puke in sawdust, claiming that "Sawdust makes everything delicious".
- He admits he likes a good chafe.
- He never seems to notice or complain that there is itching powder in his jock strap.
- He thinks people touching their own butts is a good thing.
- He is, according to Homestar, "re-known" for his self-butt pats.
