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Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Well, I have not been terribly active to date. Career and personal changes have prevented me from being able to interact with y'all. I miss the HRWiki community and still visit often, but being a steward and a caretaker isn't on the menu right now, I'm afraid. But I hope my past involvement, efforts, and influence still are remembered.

Down the road I may very well come back, I don't want to rule that out. But right now that can't happen. However, you guys are rolling along splendidly with your trucker caps sidewise just fine. Can't argue with success. Keep it up. And feel free to email if you want to say hi.

Qermaq - (T/C) Image:Qermaqsigpic.png 23:18, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

And now to the rest of the user page. Hope it's pretendous!

Homestar Runner Wiki


I've been active on the Wiki since early February 2006 or so. But how it all started is a bit of a story.

I discovered Homestar Runner in July 2002. The first thing I ever saw was Everybody to the Limit and was hooked.

My First Strong Bad Email

Here it is. Sent Tuesday, July 16, 2002, at 11:17 PM EST. Subject: Email To Strong Bad.

I got the standard "Thanks for your freakin email. I hope it's not stupid" response, and, of course, it was not one of the millions used. Meh.

Wiki Time?

On Dec 22, 2003, I (under the name "Flounder") signed up for the old Wiki. (JoeyDay and Stu are the only users in the top 12—besides me—who are currently active.) I later came in as Qermaq, and Tom noted that my IP was the same. Well, I merged into Flounder, and then later lost touch. (In my defense, I was on dial-up.) Then in early 2006, after years of consulting the Wiki, I decided to try to log in again. No doing, so I formed this account. So, while I have not been active all that time, I am still officially the 12th Wiki member.

I started as a Wiki n00b, and even though I've learned a lot so far, in many ways I'm still figuring out this danged business.

I'm sorry for what I done!

I've done only a few major things so far.

I also created

and a list of words said or seen once in the H*R universe. Feel free to add words. And future running gags which have a mere two instances can be noted at my potential running gags page.

Other than that, I just wander around, figuring new stuff out as I go.

Homestar Runner

As I said, I discovered Homestar Runner in July 2002. Since then I've visited often. Weekly, even. I've seen just about everything on the site at least twice. For that reason, I am not permitted to care for young children.

My H*R number

My cousin is a guitarist who worked with TMBG. (Factory Showroom era.) The current TMBG had TBC do a video for "Experimental Film". So my H*R number is 3. What's your H*R number? Share that in talk!

Other Homestar Runner connections:

  • I have met and played with a Neville brother and a member of the Marsalis family. Both were referenced in theme song.
  • I have brought a ficus plant back from the dead.
  • I firmly believe bread is a good time for everybody.

What's your Homestar Runner connection?

Who am I?


Which Homestar Runner character are you?
this quiz was made by jurjyfrort

It's hosted on Geocities, which is pretty slow and clanky, so if the pic doesn't show, wait till the beginning of the month!


Favorite sbemail: "I love them all!"

Favorite Marzipan's Answering Machine: Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0

Favorite Big Toon: Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon

Unfavorite Big Toon: The Reddest Radish

Favorite Short: The Interview

Unfavorite Short: Strong Bad Sings

Favorite PBTC: Everybody to the Limit

Favorite Puppet Stuff: Labor Dabor

Favorite Holiday Toon: Pumpkin Carve-nival

And I love this guy.


Favorite Quotes

Everyone seems to have favorite quotes. Here, in no particular order or degree of accuracy, are mine.

  • STRONG BAD: You're not Ali. You're not even... literate. (sisters)
  • HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't ask me why.... pump-uh-nickwe and why.... (origins)
  • BUBS: Shinin' up a chicken in the mornin', mornin'... (lunch special)
  • STRONG BAD: Come on and get in the boat, fish! Come on and get in the boat, fish fish! (lures & jigs)
  • STRONG SAD AND HOMESTAR: I really got. I really gotta pee. I really got. I really gotta pee pee. (extra plug}
  • BUBS: Why are you trying to get me to say "sbu"?
STRONG BAD: THERE! You said it! Now you gotta give me a free lunch special!
BUBS: No, no, no. Getting me to say my name backwards minus the B just makes me lose my super power!
STRONG BAD: What super power?
BUBS: Being able to fly.
STRONG BAD: You can fly?!
BUBS: Well... Not anymore I can't. (lunch special)
  • STRONG BAD: Hey, man, are ketchup bombs real?
BUBS: Not yet! (funny)
  • STRONG BAD: Welcome to the High Voice Crew! I hope you have a high voice too! When you've got a high voice, you don't have a choice; your voice is high all the time. Welcome to the High Vo... Oh, I guess...I got kicked out of the High Voice Crew. (helium)
  • STRONG BAD: Who put the "ween" in "Halloween"? I don't know. Probably you, you freakin' weirdo! (halloweener)
  • STRONG BAD (as Homestar Runner): All right. This guy's tall. Hey The Cheat, ask your friend here why come he didn't carve his pumpakin. (Pumpkin Carve-nival)
  • STRONG BAD Whaddaya got in the way of things I can sit on whilst I check emails?
BUBS: Ooh! Lucky for you, I just got this pre-owned box of chicken beaks in just now! Like, right, just now!
STRONG BAD: Okay, okay, okay... But, uh, you got anything less anthrax-y?
BUBS: I got this old Winger album.
STRONG BAD: Well, yeah, that is less anthrax-y, but I was kinda hoping for a chair of some kind. (the chair)
  • STRONG BAD: Is this supposed... like, so am I supposed to envision a picture of a yellowjacket taking a leak on a bulldog? That's the most disturbing thing I ever.. They should make those, like they have the Calvin pissing on Hobbes... Calvin peeing on you know Dale Earnhardt... Sandra Bernhard.. I wanna sell that one... (?)man's daughter maybe... (Georgia Tech - 26 Apr 2007)
  • BUBS: There was this one time when I hooked up my lawnmower to my Nintendo, and after that, I got the high score every time! (Pulse Interview - 1 Aug 2003)

Favorite Homestar Runner Song not by TBC

The Very Low Sodium Band's "A Tribute To Homestar Runner"

Other Stuff

Using <span>

I see a lot of folks don't get how <span> is used. <span> is an empty element, it does nothing by itself. But add the attribute style, and you can do all sorts of cool things.

The syntax you need is simple.

<span style="property: value">Text</span>

Such as:

<span style="color: green">This is green.</span> = This is green.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">This is Times New Roman. Note the single quotes when the font is more than one word.</span> = This is Times New Roman. Note the single quotes when the font is more than one word.

<span style="font-variant: small-caps">This is in small caps.</span> = This is in small caps.

<span style="font-size: 150%">This is pretty big.</span> = This is pretty big.

You can declare multiple properties too with a semicolon, like this:

<span style="color: orange; font-variant: small-caps">This is orange smallcaps.</span> = This is orange smallcaps.

Just for starters. If you want more, ask in talk.

New Email Frenzy

I was lucky enough to be online March 21, 2006, to be able to participate in getting a new H*R feature documented (candy product). It was an educational experience!

There are 3 basic types of users involved. The first is the transcribers and feature-specific users. They get the guts and glory, but also put up with the edit conflicts and the despair of seeing ther section they just transcribed already posted. I did just a little of this (I added the date and the computer template, and some fun facts).

The second group are the "other pages" squad. Here's where I participated most. There's all sorts of pages which must be updated to reflect the new email. I added the burglar Homestar image, the basketball Coach Z image, and the smiling Strong Bad at the end (for Strong Bad Smiling). I also updated the Programs for the Lappy. Of course many more updates have to occur to bring the Wiki up to date. And then there's the Talk page monitoring. Which brings us to...

Group number three - the loiterers. Yep, there are those who just hang around and post about nonsense. They aren't doing any of the heavy lifting, they just chat in the Talk or make inane edits. Most are anonnys. Some folks need to deal with them as they come along. Probably most of my email page edits that day were reverts or rewordings of anonny contributions. I mean, I welcome their participation, but it seems as if more often than not the stuff they offer needs serious clown care.

So here I am , posting this less than 12 hours after the email was up, and we're not done yet. But what fun it was to be part of the first responder team! I hope to be so lucky again.

What's an explanation, and what's a reference?

For some reason, a lot of users don't get the difference between a "Real-World Reference" and an "Explanation". So here we go. Feel free to link here (referenced) if people need it spelled out (explained).

According to HRWiki:Standards, an explanation might be needed when "a plot element or joke is very obscure". A "real-world" reference "is when a toon makes a clear reference to something (pre-existing) outside the Homestar Runner universe".

So what's the difference? Well, in old comics, the drawing style is similar to cartoons like Krazy Kat, so that's a reference. Some viewers might not get the reference, but it is a reference nonetheless, as it touches on something many people have seen already outside the H*R universe.

But when the KOT mentions "giving quarter" in the same toon, some users won't know what that means. In this case, we add an explanation of what that phrase means. TBC aren't referring to the phrase, they're using it, so it's not a reference. It's an explanation.

Now sometimes it's hard to tell. Take the "Daisy Dukes" in long pants as an example. Is it a reference to The Dukes Of Hazzard, or is it the usage of the style of "Daisy Duke" shorts found in real life? In this case, it's clearly the latter, so it's found in Explanations. In video games, is Strong Bad pouring out a cold one in actual respect for the incarcerated or deceased, or is this TBC referencing this practice? Again, in context it's clear that it's a reference to a real-world practice.

Back to long pants: when Strong Bad throws the cue cards aside in the intro, it's evocative of Bob Dylan's Subterranian Homesick Blues. So, it's a reference. But is it a reference to Weird Al Yankovic's video for Bob? I'd say no, because Bob itself is a reference to the same thing. (I'd argue that the INXS video mentioned in Real-World References is also unnecessary for the same reason, but I'm just one voice.)

So, let's test your reference/explanation knowledge!

1) The mention of Garth Brooks (in secret identity) is a reference to his 1999 rock & roll alter-ego, Chris Gaines.

2) (from best thing) In the television industry, syndication is the sale of the right to broadcast programs to multiple stations, without going through a broadcast network, although that process is reserved for long-running TV shows, not ones with a single episode.

3) Gingivitis (heard in bedtime story) is the inflammation of the gums due to improper cleaning of the teeth.

4) The "Telephone Game" (from myths & legends) is a game for children where a message is whispered from one participant to another, along a group, causing the message to be increasingly distorted as time progresses.

5) (from candy product) The "SBLOUNSKCHED!" commercial is a parody of a series of TV commercials for Mentos candies. In these commercials, it is suggested that you can get away with virtually anything so long as you have the advertised product.

Ok, how'd you score?

Answers: reference, explanation, explanation, explanation, reference.

4 or 5 right - You're ready to add Fun Facts all night long!

2 or 3 right - You could use a little work.

0 or 1 right - At least you're enjoying the toons, eh?


I've had fun doing subtitles for toons. Here's some tips as to how I approach it.

1. Break up the text logically. Think about the timing of the scene. If there's a long speech, break it fairly evenly at spots where the sentences naturally split. Don't be afraid to use short sentences alone, especially in a funny bit. Putting the funny line on its own when feasible heightens the surprise. Think about how the dialogue might be broken up if it were a comic strip.

2. Avoid blackspace between lines. Unless there really is a pronounced pause or a scene shift or something like that, let the last line stay up until the next one starts. That way, the reader has more time to read, and the subtitles look less choppy. (If there is a pronounced pause, take care to consider exactly when the previous line should end; don't just stop it any old place!)

3. Consider not only the timing of the audio (being sure the line starts in the same frame the audio does) but the timing of the video as well. For example, for current status I stopped the running-away sound effect on the frame before Coach B and Zubs are seen entering, and I stopped the caption of Zubs' second-to-last line on the last frame of the shot of his feet, right before the return to the wide shot. In other toons, I've left the last line of a scene up just until the scene changes, then allowed blackspace until the next line after the cut. This neatens the presentation.

4. Indicate sound effects, but use restraint. You don't need to add all of them, just the ones that contribute to the plot.

5. Consider how the subtitle will look to the reader, and don't clutter it inordinately. (Though my techno subtitles are intentionally cluttered!)

If you have other ideas and tips, suggest them to me on my Talk page, and I might include them.

Special Punctuation

We all know about some of these, but I'm going to list as many as I can find. Using these to start a line causes cool things to happen.

Unordered list - adds a bullet to your list item.
Ordered list - Numbers your list item. BUT - if you follow it with REDIRECT [[something]], and that's the only content on the page, it will create a redirect to the page "something". Why they chose the same character as that which starts a numbered list, I have no clue. It's pretty dumb, in my opinion. There are a lot of neglected characters that one could use, like % or $ or &.
Definition list - this is what you're seeing right now. A colon (:) starts the definition itself. And put a space after the ;, otherwise you'll cry. A lot.
Indent the post. Despite assertions that this is fascist, it's actually de rigeuer to include indentation in your responses in talk posts, so that readers may more easily follow the conversation.
Four hyphens make a horizontal rule, or a big ole line going across the page.

And some need to be used in pairs; that is, surrounding some text.

Creates a heading - follow the heading with the same number of ='s, of course. Two ='s is a main section heading, 3 is a sub-section, 4 a sub-sub-section, etc. 6 is the maximum that will work. (Of course, use them in a hierarchy - the sections we create should be 2 ='s, and only use 3 ='s when making subsections of a 2 = section, etc.)
Though this is the most common, it's the most awkward to explain. One [ (and a corresponding ] following) makes an outside link, though this could be an inside link if you want it to be. But 2 ['s (followed by 2 ]'s afterwards) has to be an inside link, unless you're linking to the HRFWiki, or the Wikipedia, or just about any other Wiki. Or the Forum. Or the H*R site. Or the Thorax site. Or IMDB. Or a lot of other outside stuff. (See the help for making links for actual help here.)
'(' ') 
Special text! Surrounding text with single quotes makes it 'single quoted'. (Wow, so amazing!) Surrounding text with double single quotes makes text italicized. (You actually think that's a little cool?) Three single quotes makes bold text. (Ok, you're boring me now.) What would four do? None have been brave enough to try. It's rumored it will make you sterile for life.
This starts an HTML or XML "tag". A lot of them work. No one's listed all that will. Try at your own peril. Oh, and in the interest of "economy of character use" (also known as "trying to mess with our minds") <!-- starts a comment which you end with, not !-->, but -->. Sheesh.

In short, formatting text is depressing. Don't do it. Just be boring and let an egghead-type (who might be so egg-headed as to read all the way through a long section of someone's user page on a wiki devoted to an online cartoon, perhaps) fix it up for you.

How to become a sysop good user

Hey there, every peoples. I often times see people wanting to know how to become a sysop. This makes no sense to me. Sysops have no more real power and a lot more work to do. Why would you want more work? Anyway, maybe these users are really interested in being the kind of user who would be considered as a potential sysop. So here's some tips in that direction.

  1. Always use edit summaries. Go into your profile and set the "edit summary reminder". Always use an edit summary. "No edit summary" often equals "unaware user" in people's minds. So add that summary, and make it meaningful.
  2. Keep chatter off the talk pages. Use IRC or the forum for talking amongst yourselves. Don't use article talk pages or user talk pages for idle chatter. That screams "newbie".
  3. Edit the main namespace. That means the articles, not the user talk pages. Find mistakes and fix them. Find omissions and add them. Don't make stuff up, but make real improvements. Only post on user talk when it's wiki business.
  4. Never lash out. Don't whine or throw fits. Ever.
  5. Read Recent Changes. It's a simple fact that if you look at Recent Changes often, you'll have a much better overview of what happens here. You'll see the reverts. You'll see the sixteen edits of the same userspace in a row. You'll see the edit wars. And you'll learn:
  6. Don't edit your userspace sixteen times in a row. Now it's perfectly fine to edit your userspace, look at my History! But remember that's a minor part of participating here. I choose to use my userspace to do stuff like this, help out others. (See the be nice section below.) But whatever you do to your user page, use the Preview and plan ahead so you don't look like a newb.
  7. Don't engage in edit wars. A note here is in order. If your edit is reverted, you should normally take it to Talk rather than continue to change the article. However, there are exceptions to that, mainly when you are 100% certain your edit was absolutely warranted - in which case, indicate your reasoning in the edit summary.
  8. Be nice. Help out new users with things you know for sure. Try to assist in projects. Do whatever you can to be seen as a helper to the wiki and a person others can count on to do something helpful.
  9. Leave criticism on your talk page. Really. If you remove it, it looks as though you're hiding it. Be bold, tell the world "I am human and I screw up. So sue me." But remember to be nice—and that means learning from your mistakes so you don't seem like a troublemaker, or better yet, you DO seem like a progress-maker.
  10. Have a serious view. We're all here for the fun, and we're all fans. But view the wiki as a knowledge base, not a playground, and view yourself as a steward, not a fan.

I might add to this over time, but there you go. This is not official HRWiki advice, just mine. No guarantees. I'm not a sysop myself, but I think most folks see me as more of a positive influence than otherwise. I don't aspire to more than that.

My Screen Name

What does Qermaq mean? That's all you people ask me!

How I come up with it? How YOU come up with "Thunderbird"? By the way, don't make me call you that. It's not a good administrator name!

(I think good ole helpful TBird can take the joke! A joke, I say!)

Though I suppose a bit of explanation is in order. Ok, I originally devised the name for use in the email list for the KLI. It means nothing in Klingon, by the way. In time I used the same name when I registered an account on FARK (I have a four-digit account number, and you can't have one!). I used it as a generic username all over and here I am with it all over again. Hope that's interesting to you. If not, here's your money back.


I've transcribed the chords to different town, see it here. A few days after i did this, I found it was also on the TMBG wiki, but this one's a tad more accurate (heh heh). I have a lead sheet (melody, lyrics, chords) as well (PDF format); lemme know if you want it.

Maybe I'll do more if there's interest. Or even if not. Let me know in talk.


Ok, this is a H*R quote translated via Babelfish to German and back to English. Can you name the original quote on my Talk page??

"Falsify the enormous fear on a bad do not dive in." - won by DumbMuscle

New one sometime....

And a new contest - and this is a really good one.

You are presented with 12 metal balls and a balance scale. Eleven of the balls are precisely the same weight; one ball is different, and the weight difference is indiscernible without a scale. You do not know if the bad ball is heavy or light, and you need not determine if it is either to succeed. You may weigh any number of balls against any number of balls on the balance scale, but you only get three tries maximum. How do you find the bad ball?

DO NOT post this answer in talk. Email me with the answer. The winner will be elevated to Emperor of Town.

Note: Phlip is our newest Emperor of Town! Congratulations, this is a nasty puzzle and you nailed it. (But don't let that stop you from organizing you own!)


Homestar blinks once every approximately 3.9 seconds. Marzipan blinks every approximately 4.7 seconds. Homestar blinks exactly 6 times to Marzipan's 5.

Dear Qermaq

My woman left me for another man after a year long relationship. She says it's because I wasn't around enough, and he was there when she needed him. I was there as much as I could have been, but she wanted more. But I still love her, and she's with him.

You need to think about your priorities. They might focus more on career and other parts of your life over a relationship. That's not bad in itself - it might be a good time for you to focus on career or friends or other things. But before you enter into a new relationship, consider what you're prepared to sacrifice and be up front about it. Yes, you will always love her. But she's over it. Get a clue, homey. Now's the time to regroup and reglue.

If you have a question for Qermaq, send it via email or catch Qermaq unawares. Really, I will keep all details confidential. I promise.


You can email me if you want and I probably will see it. Been inactive for a while, but always come back once and again....

That's all for now, I guess. You want more? Ask for it on my talk page or again email me. See you round, Brown!

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