Sickly Sam's Big Outing

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 17:33, 11 February 2008

Based on the vaudeville stylings of Wibe Chimendez

The Homestar Runner helps Sickly Sam get ready for a date.

Cast (in order of appearance): Mr. Shmallow, The Homestar Runner, Old-Timey Marzipan, Sickly Sam, Old-Timey Strong Bad, Strong Man, The Sneak, Fort Wayne Locomotive, Old-Timey Bubs

Places:

Date: Monday, February 11, 2008

Running Time: 4:47

Page Title: Listen Up Short Children!!

Transcript

{Open on a shot of an old-timey radio. As the announcer talks, cartoon lightning bolts fly out of the speakers.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Listen up, short children!

{Cut to a title card for "Fluffy Puff Air-Puffed Sugar Delights Presents The Homestar Runner Progrum", with Mr. Shmallow dancing in the middle of the screen.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} It's the Fluffy Puff Air-Puffed Sugar Delights Presents The Homestar Runner Progrum! In a color!

{A speech bubble reading "A COLOR!" in pink appears, pointing to Mr. Shmallow. Iris wipe to a title shot of each character as the announcer introduces them.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Featuring The Homestar Runner!

AUDIENCE: {cheers}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} His best gal, Marzipan!

AUDIENCE: {cheers}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Diseased orphan, Sickly Sam!

AUDIENCE: {boos}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Dapper thousandaire, Strong Bad!

AUDIENCE: {stronger boos}

{The last title shot features a robot, a Close Encounter-style alien, and an unidentified creature.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} And the rest!

AUDIENCE: Huh?

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Today's shenanigans: Sickly Sam's Big Outing!

{Title card for the toon features Sickly Sam chasing three pink-colored hearts, with the text "Sickly Sam's Big Outing" and "Based on the Vaudeville Stylings of Wibe Chimendez". Open on The Homestar Runner and Marzipan walking down an empty street. The windows and doors of the houses they pass are broken and boarded up, and there are many cracks in the walls and the road.}

MARZIPAN: This must be skid row.

{They keep walking, and come upon a large box labelled "SOME HAMS".}

MARZIPAN: This must be skid ro—

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wake up, Sickly Sam. Today's the first day of the day of your big outing.

{Sickly Sam exits the box.}

MARZIPAN: Up and at 'em.

{Sickly Sam coughs twice, making dust clouds with the words "AS-" and then "ASBESTOS".}

MARZIPAN: You need some dentifrice!

{Behind Homestar and Marzipan is a garbage can with eyeholes. Cartoony eyes stick out of these holes as Homestar says the next line.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: If you're supposed to go on a big outing, we need to find you up a hot date.

{Zoom in on the can with foreboding music, then cut to inside the can, where Strong Bad, Strong Man and The Sneak are present.}

STRONG BAD: So, that dead kid needs a hot date, eh? The only date he has is the glue factory! {musical sting} Which I will sell him to! {musical sting} For money! {musical sting}

{cut to a room with The Homestar Runner and Sickly sam inside}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: First we gotta do something about that old 'tatoe sack.

{The door is knocked}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh oh, the doorbe—{the scene quickly cuts to the same spot} There's a knock at the door.

{The Homestar Runner opens the door. The Sneak it on the other side, holding up a telegram.}

THE SNEAK: Whaaaaaaaaa telegraaam!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, The Sneak. Boot!

{The Homestar Runner boots The Sneak off into the distance}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: This Honest Telegram says to mean your hot date down at the Boardwalk.

{The telegram is displayed in The Homestar Runner's hands.}

HONEST TELEGRAM

 

Dearest Dead Kid (stop)

Please meet for good times (stop)

at the Boardwalk. (stop)

 

-Hottessa Date

SICKLY SAM: Am I gonna make romance?

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {placing a bow tie on Sickly Sam} Let's get you dressed to the five and three-quarterses.

SICKLY SAM: I do believe you've spicked my span.

{The bow tie turns into a bat and flies away. Sickly Sam is now in a room with Marzipan, and the "Do a Dance" music is playing.}

MARZIPAN: Come on, Jackson! Cut yourself a slice of rug! Let's turn those skeleton knees into the bee's knees!

{Sickly Sam does a dance, and his legs fall off. Sickly Sam is now on the football field with The Homestar Runner and Fort Wayne Locomotive.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say there, Fort Wayne Locomotive, how's about a pep talk? Double-S here's about to go on his first date with a member of the opposite... persuasion.

FORT WAYNE LOCOMOTIVE: Well, I tell ya, Sickle Cell, when it comes to the ladies, you gotta turn and run the other way, like you're facin' the defense of the {holding flag} Sheboygan Booteaters! They's is trouble! T-R-U-double-E-Bubble! Hut one, hut two, and a hike!

{Fort Wayne Locomotive hands a football to Sickly Sam and runs away, shouting gibberish. The football deflates in Sickly Sam's hands, and The Homestar Runner begins to walk away. Sickly Sam and The Homestar Runner are now in front of Old-Timey Bubs's cart, labeled "Depot on Wheels."}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're almost ready Sickly Sam. Last thing you need is a reaaaaaaaaaaal... {The Homestar Runner's body begin to spin and his legs twist, pushing him upward, and he then abruptly snaps back down to the ground.} ...bouquet.

OLD-TIMEY BUBS: Have a whiff. {He holds the bouquet in front of Sickly Sam. He takes a whiff, causing the flowers to combust into flames and set the rest of the flowers on fire. The entire film catches fire and burns away from the screen. The soundtrack cuts out abruptly, and after a couple of seconds of white screen, the scene cuts to Strong Bad laughing evilly as The Homestar Runner and Marzipan, tied up, slowly move along a conveyor belt toward a giant spinning sawblade. The scene then disappears and we see Sickly Sam, wearing a little hat with a flower on it, holding a box of 'Chockle,' standing on a wooden boardwalk, with a Coney-Island-style amusement park on a pier in the sunset in the background. Two very fake-looking birds 'fly' by, one from the left and one from the right, hanging from wires.}

SICKLY SAM: I'm havin' a time.

{Cut to another section of the boardwalk, with Strong Bad, Strong Man, and the Sneak. Strong Bad addresses his 'troops:'}

STRONG BAD: All right, boys! Remember the plan! Step One: give him the business! Step Two: cocktails in the parlor! We shan't get foiled again!

{Strong Man flexes his muscles and the Sneak's nose wiggles sneakily}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A vaudeville was a type of variety theater popular in the early 20th century, featuring comedians, musicians, and assorted other acts.
• A skid row is a run-down or dilapidated urban area with a large population of impoverished abusers of alcohol and, often, other drugs.
• The Fort Wayne Locomotive refers to Sickly Sam as "Sickle Cell", a group of genetic disorders that cause the red blood cells to change shape.
• A dentifrice is a means of maintaining oral hygiene, such as toothpaste or mouthwash.
• Asbestos is a chemical that was used to make things like roofing, fireproofing and gaskets. After discovering asbestos fibers can cause serious illnesses, they have been banned from many countries since the mid-1980s.
• Sheboygan is a city in Wisconsin.

Trivia

• This is the first full Old-Timey cartoon since 2004's That A Ghost.
• This is the first full Old-Timey cartoon to include a color: pink.
• This is the first full Old-Timey cartoon in which we hear The Sneak say anything.

Remarks

• In the TV Time Toons Menu's preview of the toon, the bouquets are completely black and white, whilst in the toon, they are partially pink.

Inside References

• This toon includes an instance of kicking The Sneak.
• At one point, The Sneak holds a Big Knife.
• Old-Timey Strong Bad's pistol, last seen in Parsnips A-Plenty, is another instance of guns.
• "The Homestar Runner Progrum" is another instance of a progrum.
• Old-Timey Strong Bad is named at his introduction as a "thousandaire", a reference to suntan.
• The toon is based on the vaudeville stylings of Wibe Chimendez, a seeming relative of A. Chimendez.
• Sickly Sam does the same dance he did in Ballad of the Sneak.
• Sickly Sam is seen in a cardboard box.
• Old-Timey Strong Bad, The Sneak and the Strong Man hide in a garbage can with cartoon eyeholes

Real-World References

• "The Rest" at the end of the introduction of characters is a reference to the theme of the first season of Gilligan's Island.
• The Fort Wayne Locomotive sounds similar to Ed Norton, a character on The Honeymooners portrayed by Art Carney.

External Links

• Watch "Sickly Sam's Big Outing"
• View the Flash file for "Sickly Sam's Big Outing"
• Forum thread re: Sickly Sam's Big Outing