Career Day

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Toon Category: Big Toon
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"But what is a Space Captainface? And what does it do?"

Space Captainface visits L.U.R.N. for Career Day and shows the class an edumacational film.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Homsar, Strong Bad/Space Captainface, The Cheat/Strap Coopmore, Ted Averill

Places: The Classroom, Outer Space

Date: Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Running Time: 4:25

Page Title: SBASAF Mind Control Films Presents

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{Marzipan is standing in her classroom, in front of a chalkboard that reads "NECROTIZING FASCITIS", with all of the I's dotted with hearts.}

MARZIPAN: Listen out, Life Blossoms! Today, for Career Day, we have a very special visitor.

{Scene cuts to the 'Life Blossoms': Homestar, Strong Mad and Homsar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is it that social worker again?

MARZIPAN: {quickly} No, no. That's all taken care of. The charges were dropped. {normally} Anyway, please welcome the Strong Badian Administration of Some Aluminum Foil's own Space Captainface!

{Strong Bad, dressed as Space Captainface, approaches a screen and cheers for himself.}

STRONG BAD: Great Planets, kids! Your frumpy schoolmarm, here, has asked me to talk to you today about— {cut to Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: {angrily} I didn't ask you! You paid me to let you talk. {cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Shut up. —talk to you today about an exciting career in... {dramatically, zooms out to reveal a floor-mounted fan, which is blowing his cape back} SPACE TRAVEL!

{Scene cuts to the 'Life Blossoms' again.}

STRONG MAD: BOOR-ING!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Did you bring us any candy, police-fire-man?

HOMSAR: You bring the dip, I'll mow the side yard!

{Scene cuts back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: And now, without further you talking, some moving images to distract you long enough for your teacher to take a nap, drink, or smoke-break.

{A movie projector begins rolling, partially overlapping Strong Bad, who moves out of the way. Closeup onto film. It shows a title frame reading "SBASAF Propaganda Presents"}

NARRATOR: SBASAF Propaganda presents—

{The film jump-cuts to a similar title screen, only with "Indoctrination Films" in place of "Propaganda".}

NARRATOR: —ASAF Indoctrination Films proudly—

{The film jump-cuts again. "Indoctrination" has been replaced with "Mind-Control".}

NARRATOR: —AF Mind Control Films—

{Another jump-cut, and now "Mind-Control" has been replaced by "Edumacational". For the rest of the toon, the narrator's voice sounds a little different.}

NARRATOR: —SBASAF Edumacational Films presents: What's your Captainface?

{Title appears, and a stylized cartoony-looking image of Strong Bad's head as Space Captainface flops onto it and pushes the letters aside. Cut to a line drawing of a large-headed child.}

NARRATOR: Kids, have you ever wondered who that mysterious man in the picture your mother hides under her pillow is?

{The child imagines the picture being hidden under his mother's pillow. He smiles expectantly, but then frowns as the announcer continues.}

NARRATOR: Noooo-hohohohooo, it's not your real father!

{Strong Bad, still stylized, walks behind the child. As the child is not colored in, he appears through the lines. He bumps the child offscreen.}

NARRATOR: Why, it's SBASAF's First Lieuteneral Space Captainface! But what IS a Space Captainface? {Space Captianface theme song begins playing in the background} And what does it do? Mmm, {record scratch} let me get back to you on that one.

{Change of scene to a launch pad with a rocket next to a gantry}

NARRATOR: Blast-off Day. {the words appear in the lower part of the screen} And Space Captainface anxiously awaits the all-clear from Mission Control, along with his trusty on-board mechanic and college roommate, Strap Coopmore!

{Scene changes to the inside of the rocket, where Space Captainface and Strap Coopmore (played by a stylized The Cheat) are sitting facing upward. In the upper corner near Strap, there is a red button labeled "button"}

STRONG BAD: Great Planets, Strap! What's taking so long? That spy satellite the insidious Italian Space Program put into orbit ain't gonna knock itself out!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{Static noise; a green glow appears from the panel near Strong Bad's hands.}

TED AVERILL: Come in, Space Captainface. This is Mission Control. {cut to outside of rocket panning upward from the ground} Space Captainface, do you read?

STRONG BAD: Uh, yeah. {cut back to inside the rocket} I've been talking to you all ding-dang-dong morning, Flight Engineer Ted Averill! {pronounces "Ted Averill" as one word} What's the hold-up?

{Cut to a close-up of the lower part of Ted Averill's face with monitors and buttons behind it}

TED AVERILL: We're ready to initiate pre-launch talks about whether or not we should start {zoom out to a shot showing all of Averill's head and upper torso and more of the Mission Control room} the initial pre-pre-launch breakfast sandwiches—

{Cut back to inside the rocket}

TED AVERILL: {over the radio} followed by... {his words are covered by Strong Bad's interruption}

STRONG BAD: {interrupting} I say "Meteors!" to all your pre-launchery. {to The Cheat} T-minus the heck out of Dodge, Strap!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises. Salutes and pushes the button}

{Cut to a view of the bottom of the rocket, whose engines flare up and emit smoke. Cut to a more distant view of the rocket, which launches, causing the gantry to tip over a few degrees. Cut back to Ted Averill in Mission Control.}

TED AVERILL: {continuing from before; as he speaks, the gantry completely falls over on his monitor}—agreed on the design for the back of the official mission T-shirts w—oh, mostly dang. Looks like I'm fired again. {pushes a button which turns off his monitor.}

{Cut to a view of the sky}

NARRATOR: Breaking the rules {the words appear at the top of the screen} is just one of Space Captainface's {the rocket enters from the bottom of the screen and proceeds to the top} many job responsibilities. And let's not forget bucking the system, {the words appear below "Breaking the rules"}, rabble-rousing {the words appear below "Bucking the system"} and assaulting superior officers. {the words appear below "Rabble-rousing". The rocket, now more distant, enters from the left and exits above.}

{Cut to a scene in space with Earth below (the United States is visible in the middle of the ocean) and a satellite floating close to the camera}

NARRATOR: Space! Defined by scientists as the coolest place in the universe to throw up. {A high puking noise is heard; the word "BLARF!" in green letters zooms to the foreground.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, nice one, Strap!

{Cut to the inside of the rocket, where Strong Bad and the Cheat are now floating; there is also a brown blob of puke with green and orange specks. The Cheat is somewhat green in color and is otherwise visibly nauseated.}

STRONG BAD: That one looks like the MacAlpine Nebula! {a red light in the corner flashes and a siren sounds} Great Planets! We must be approaching the spy satellite. Suit up, Strap. {fade out}

{Cut to the a view of the hull of the rocket in space; a door opens and Strong Bad emerges in a space suit, followed by the Cheat in a hamster ball.}

NARRATOR: Second in importance only to his aftershave is a Space Captainface's new-type space suit. {cut to a diagram of Strong Bad's space suit} It's the only thing protecting his sweet can {cut to a picture of Strong Bad's rear in space, various yellow particles are flying around, some of which bounce off Strong Bad's rear} from the harmful effects of the mysterious cosmic rays! {the words appear and zoom forward}

{Cut to a view of a satellite bearing the Italian flag floating in space.}

STRONG BAD: Space zounds!

{Cut to a closeup of the Italian flag on the satellite.}

STRONG BAD: They have a spy camera pointing directly at Strong Badia. {A round section of the Italian flag peels away to reveal a camera whose lens shows a reflection of Strong Badia.}

{Cut to a view of Strong Bad floating through space.}

STRONG BAD: Ready with the counter-intelligence. {Gets out a photograph of Strong Badia. Cut to a close-up of the photograph, which has a smiley face sticking out its tongue and the words "oh, just nothing" scrawled on it.}

{Cut back to the camera; Strong Bad sticks the photo onto its lens. Cut to a view of Strong Bad floating forwards and away from the satellite.}

STRONG BAD: Those superior bicycle makers will never find out our cheat codes and barbecue sauce recipes now, Strap! {looks to the side} Strap?

{Cut to a view of The Cheat floating toward an hourglass-shaped satellite with the words "The Bikini Channel" on it.}

THE CHEAT: {excited The Cheat noises}

{Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad's face; he is visibly annoyed.}

STRONG BAD: Strap!

{Cut to a view of Strong Bad's suit again; "the end" is written in his helmet.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {laughs as film ends}

MARZIPAN: {moves in front of the projector, annoyed} Homestar, is there something you'd like to add?

{Cut to a close-up of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm, teacher, if spaceman makes bafroom in his pants, {zoom out to view all the Life Blossoms} does he go boom? {Homestar, Strong Mad and Homsar laugh.}

{Cut to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Shut up, you little worse-than-homeschoolers! Show some respect! What kind of question is that to ask a Strong Badian hero? {zoom in on Strong Bad's head} Spaceman make bafroom in his pants {covers his mouth as he starts to laugh on the last word, he continues laughing from this point on} does he go boom? Actually, a pretty funny question, now that I think about it at length.

{Cut back to the life blossoms, still laughing.}

STRONG BAD: I've often wondered myself what—what would happen if I was {cut back to Strong Bad} to make bafroom {laughs harder} in my pants! I might go boom!

{Cut back to the diagram of Strong Bad's suit; this time it says "boom" in his helmet.}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Necrotizing fasciitis Content warning. Image content warning. Not for the faint of heart or the faint of butt., misspelled as "Necrotizing Fascitis" on the chalkboard, is a rare infection of the deeper layers of skin and subcutaneous tissues. It is more commonly known as "flesh-eating disease".
  • A schoolmarm is a term for a female teacher, particularly one regarded as strict.
  • Cosmic rays are energetic particles originating from space that impinge on Earth's atmosphere.
  • Indoctrination is the process of teaching specific ideas or methodologies.

[edit] Trivia

  • This is the first big toon in nearly two years; the previous one, DNA Evidence, was released in May of 2007.
  • At the end of the film, there is text written in AhnbergHand on the leader. It reads "THE REAL END OF REEL ONE!".
  • Most of Flight Engineer Ted Averill's face is a raster image, as can be seen when zooming in.

[edit] Remarks

[edit] Goofs

  • When Strong Bad stands in front of the projector as the film begins, his entire face is lit up. However, only half his head's shadow is seen on the screen.
  • In the close-up of Flight Engineer Ted Averill speaking at mission control, a small bit of the control panel is visible through his face on one of his mouth movement animations.
  • In the YouTube version, the second cut to Ted Averill cuts away too early.

[edit] Inside References

  • Marzipan's L.U.R.N. class first appeared in coloring.
  • The Strong Badian Administration of Some Aluminum Foil first appeared in space program, as did the rivalry with the Italian space program. The background music played when introducing Space Captainface in the filmstrip is the same song Strong Bad sings at the end of that email.
  • Space Captainface's catch phrase "Great planets!" was first heard in Space Program Alternate Take.
  • Strong Bad's remark that the teacher can get a nap, drink, or smoke break echoes a line from Commandos in the Classroom, which encourages the teacher to take a nap or smoke during the video, as well as an additional line at the very end to both "allow ten to fifteen more minutes of peace" and "fix a drink, maybe".
  • Strong Mad and Strong Bad both smile.
  • The Cheat pukes in this cartoon.
  • The counter-intelligence has "oh, just nothing" written on it, which is what the "long-haired freaky Cheat" picture on Strong Bad's website is directed to in the source.
  • The blocks on Homsar's desk read, "TOID". In the email coloring, they read "TURD".

[edit] Real-World References

  • "The heck out of Dodge" is a reference to the phrase popularized by the 1950s radio and television series Gunsmoke, set around Dodge City, Kansas.
  • The MacAlpine Nebula is a reference to guitarist Tony MacAlpine.
  • The Italian spy satellite is in the traditional shape of a bottle of Chianti, a famous Italian red wine.
  • "Space zounds" may be a reference to the comic Calvin and Hobbes, in which Calvin's imaginary space-exploring character "Spaceman Spiff" uses the catchphrase "Zounds!".

[edit] External Links

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