the next april fools thing
From Homestar Runner Wiki
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A little girl suggests the next April Fools joke.
Cast (in order of appearance): A little girl, Bubs, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Marzipan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Homsar, The Poopsmith, Pom Pom, The King of Town
Places (in order of appearance): The Field, Computer Room, Locker Room, Strong Mad's Room, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Bubs' Concession Stand
Computer: Lappier
Date: Sunday, April 1, 2018
Running Time: 7:30 (official), 7:07 (YouTube)
Page Title: How Long Does it Load Again?
Contents |
Transcript
{The scene opens in the Field. An oddly-drawn little girl, with a blue face, yellow dress, and red hair in pigtails, walks up and looks toward the camera. When she speaks, it's in a very high-pitched voice.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: Ee! For the next April Fools' thing, why don't they next do, like, there's a picnic...
{A rolled-up picnic blanket appears and unrolls itself.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and there's like... and there's a bunch of food in it...
{An apple, a sandwich, a bag of "CH'P", a second sandwich, and a pie appear on the blanket.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and a picnic basket...
{All the food moves together and a basket appears around it.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: ...and... {considers} then Bubs is like...
{Bubs appears next to the basket.}
THE LITTLE GIRL and BUBS: {both waving their arms} Picnic! Picnic! Picnic!
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then Homestar shows up and says "blah!"
{Homestar walks up.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Blah!
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then Strong Bad shows up and says "blah!"
{Strong Bad flies in from over the bushes in the background and lands on the blanket.}
STRONG BAD: Blah!
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then everybody shows up and says "blah!"
{The camera cuts back a little to show all the other main characters standing nearby.}
ALL BUT LITTLE GIRL, BUBS, HOMESTAR, and STRONG BAD: Blah!
{Cut back in so those characters are offscreen. Homestar and Strong Bad are not present any longer.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then Bubs is like "I'm closing the shop! Nobody's buying... picnic!"
{Bubs disappears into the basket, and the blanket rolls up around the basket and disappears.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: And then, and then, and then there's a loading sign...
{Scene cuts to a loading screen. The letters of "loading" grown and shrink in sequence.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: {voiceover} ...and it loads for, like, one hundred seconds, and then, and then... and...
{A timer appears under the "loading sign" and counts the seconds.}
THE LITTLE GIRL: {voiceover, apparently unsure how to continue} ...and it loads for one hundred seconds, and... and then it's like... and... and then it... and then... and then it's like... It loads for one hundred seconds! And then... and then it's like...
{As the timer reaches "00:25", abrupt cut to the computer room. Strong Bad is in front of the Lappier.}
STRONG BAD: {rhythmically} If I can't check my email, then how I'm supposed to live my life? {brings up an email} Dingle dongle...
Dear Strong Bad,
what do you do to keep up your personal
motivation and inspiration?
Sincerely, Mollie B.
{Strong Bad reads the greeting as "Dear Stringle Bongle".}
STRONG BAD: Oh, that is a waste of a perfectly good middle "B" initial, Mollie! Lemme fix that for ya! {edits the name to:} Sincerely, Mollie B. Chowdwerworth Gruelmanger. You know, of the Puntington Farms Gruelmangers. {moves his cursor down next to the caret} There we go. {typing} For motivation, I do what any great coach does, and berate myself until I get results or until I press charges!
{Cut to the locker room, as Strong Bad shouts into a mirror:}
STRONG BAD: Chowderworth Gruelmanger?! You call that an overly-complicated old-timey last name?! That is bush-league, son! I am sick and tired of this crap! And I'm sick of losing to Purdue!
{Cut back to show Coach Z standing nearby, twirling a jock strap.}
COACH Z: Now that guy really knows how to mortavortaportion.
{Cut back to the Lappier}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There's also that weird jocked-up thing of punching yourself in the face to get motivated. But unless you happen to have boxing gloves for hands, I wouldn't recommend it.
{Cut to Strong Mad sitting at a table next to a glass of orange juice.}
STRONG MAD: YOU CAN DO IT, STRONG MAD. {pounds the table} YOU CAN TALK TO ORANGE JUICE!
{He winds up his right fist, aimed at himself. Strong Bad leans in.}
STRONG BAD: No, Strong Mad, wait—
{Strong Mad punches himself in the face and falls offscreen. Strong Bad winces as he lands. Cut back to the Lappier.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} But if you can afford it, no force is more motivational than...spiky ceiling that closes in on you!
{Cut to the basement of the Bros. Strong. Strong Sad is holding a video game controller and looking panicked, as Strong Bad coaches him and a spiky ceiling slowly descends over them.}
STRONG BAD: You better beat this end boss or we're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!
STRONG SAD: {frantically hitting buttons} Aah! It keeps making me jump when I'm not pressing juuuuuuump!!
STRONG BAD: Or we're all gonna diiiiiii—
{Cut back to the Lappier}
Jay (Talk | contribs) is currently adding or changing substantial content. As a courtesy, until this tag is removed please do not edit this transcript unless absolutely necessary.
Fun Facts
Inside References
- The design of the little girl character comes from the DVD exclusive cartoon Why Come Only One Girl?.
External Links
- watch "the next april fools thing" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "the next april fools thing"
- watch "the next april fools thing" on YouTube
- forum thread re: "the next april fools thing"
| April Fools' Day |
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