St. Cadaverstump's Morgue-tuary
From Homestar Runner Wiki
St. Cadaverstump's totally not just an old furniture warehouse Morgue-tuary is a haunted house that Strong Bad made up in The House That Gave Sucky Tricks. It's open weeknights in October, and located just off of I-20. There is a mysterious chair outside, and there is a satellite dish on top.
Contents |
Rooms
First Room
The first room has a framed Jibblies Painting of somebody's dad. He wears cycling gear, even though he's not serious about riding. He claims to be able to do a 220 in 4:45. Homestar Runner went to this room, and ran away screaming from the painting.
The Gross Out Room
The Gross Out Room is a silent, white room, filled with the stench of "Strong Mad Oyster Smoothie Breath Caked Armpit Latte", which happens to be an actual drink. Marzipan, The King of Town, and The Poopsmith went here.
Room Fifty-Whatev (Immersive Horror Experience Room)
The Imersive Horror Experience Room is a room where one is led to believe that they need to escape by opening the vault before time runs out. There is a skeleton which is pointing at a clue. It is described as "like a regular haunted house, 'cept with thinkin" on the poster. However, it is all just a prank by Strong Bad, trying to get people to reach into the toilet. Strong Bad also watches this room via satellite camera. Strong Sad went to this room.
Two-Star Bed and Breakfast Room
The Two-Star Bed and Breakfast Room is a room is a room designed to look like a two-star bed and breakfast, which is "somehow worse than if it only got one star". This room has dry scrambled eggs, questionable hairs on the antimacassar, and a failed "terlet" paper rose. The "Shut Up Lady" thinks this room is "so charming". Bubs and Coach Z went here.
Large Bean
Large Bean is the result of Strong Bad's attempt to create an "entirely new horror icon" for his haunted house, saying people are getting tired of the same old evil clowns, undead cheerleaders, and bloody-eyed found footage children. Large Bean is a humanoid figure with a greenish, "chubby crescent moon"-shaped large bean for a head, hence the name. He wears an white, untucked thrift store dress shirt, and black slacks from a department store, which were even more expensive than the shirt. He also eats people's souls.
Although Strong Bad claims Large Bean is "the new face of terror", no one else seems to find Large Bean scary or even unsettling. Homestar even gives Strong Sad, Bubs, and Coach Z a museum-style tour of Large Bean. There is apparently a museum gift shop where Large Bean plush dolls are sold. According to Homestar, other varieties of Large Bean include small bean, extra large bean, and his favorite, teenie weenie beanie. At the end of the toon, a narrator tells a spooky poem about Largest Bean, but even the narrator can't get behind him. It is unknown if Largest Bean is another variety of Large Bean, or simply a nickname.
Strong Bad later draws Large Bean in the Skills of an Artist episode Large Bean, in which he appears beside "one of those old-timey suitcases with the travel stickers on it". Strong Bad implies that Large Bean will go to Des Moines and the Wisconsin Dells. Homestar points out that he looks more like a joyous bean.
