Marshie

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"Don'tcha like me?"

Marshie (capital "M", and then "arshie", as he once put it), a large, smiling white marshmallow with a bite taken from his side, is the genuinely alarming mascot for Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. He serves as a caustic and slightly absurd satire of any number of mascots hawking products to children. His face seems to have been inspired by that of the Kool-Aid Man or the Carl's Jr./Hardee's star. He also resembles the characters on the Elyon marshmallows bag (in particular, the middle one on the bag). His slogan, "Made from the best stuff", is directly from Snapple's slogan "Made from the best stuff on earth".

Marshie has no positive relationships with any Homestar Runner characters. Homestar Runner hates Marshie, probably because he took his job as Fluffy Puff pitchman. Strong Bad seemed annoyed when Marshie tried to make a buck or nine off his heart-drooping loss, and believes Marshie's commercials should be rated NC-17 for "Needlessly Creepy times 17". Marzipan does not fondly remember when her band Cool Tapes had to perform with Marshie. Marshie himself is furious at the Videlectrix Guys for stealing his "talk-say" "Stack 'Em to the Heavens!", even while working with them to promote it.

Marshie is infamously—and intentionally—creepy. His commercials have featured non-sequitur rantings, disturbing close-ups, inappropriate sound effects, faintly desperate pleas, and even a behind-the-scenes nervous breakdown. He also tends to announce his appearances by uttering hackneyed slang phrases such as "'Sup fools!" and "Oh snap!" in a heavy-handed attempt to convince kids to like him. However, this technique is essentially nullified by Marshie's innate creepiness, leaving the acceptance he seeks safely out of reach. In Stack 'Em to the Heavens!, he even seems to have "That Floating Horror" as his official branding.

Beyond his creepy demeanor, it is insinuated that Marshie is not simply disturbing but actually evil:

  • He is named as a "bad guy" in the song Strong Bad is a Bad Guy.
  • A vaporized version of Marshie in candy product cheerily warns that "you can't destroy me!"
  • In winter pool, Gel-arshie calls himself "an abomination".
  • As Gel-arshie, he acts like a stalker around Strong Bad in 8-Bit is Enough. Inside Gel-arshie's Pro Fruitboarder, he declares himself a god, and that nobody can beat him.
  • On the Xeriouxly Forxe Main Page, a robotic Marshie (Marxie) with pink drool on his chin, glowing orange eyes that show obvious looks of pure hatred, and a half-exposed brain on the area of his bite being covered by a glass dome will appear and say, "Speed increased!" in an echo of Marshie's voice and then promptly explode.
  • In Later That Night..., a mascot costume of his Pumpkin-Spice Latte Banana Bread form somehow gained sentience and devoured Homestar, using his legs to stand. Marshie also implies that he is the one who took the bite out of his own head.
  • In Fan Costumes 2018, Marshie proclaims that he would be unstoppable if he could "poomp" back the bite on his head.

The use of Nibbles as a mascot in bottom 10 may be evidence for Marshie's increasing unsuitability as a marshmallow mascot, or at least in specifically promoting Fluffy Puff's bite-sized Nibblers product. Indeed, his breakdown in Malloween Commercial strongly suggests that he is not satisfied in his role as a mascot.

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[edit] Variations

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