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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
 <transcript xml:lang="en-us" width="550" height="400">
   <line start="15" end="75" speaker="strongbad">Oooh, duh doo doo doo, my email left me, duh doo doo...</line>
   <line start="80" end="111" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, You must be a very busy man.</line>
   <line start="113" end="187" speaker="strongbad">"You should think about a vacation. Filled with crap," <em>(sighs)</em> "BrothaCheese."</line>
   <line start="197" end="269" speaker="strongbad">Oh, vacation, eh? You know, I have been sittin' at this computer for a long freakin' time.</line>
   <line start="275" end="350" speaker="strongbad">And Strong Mad says I've been lashing out at The Cheat more often than usual... Yeah, you know what?</line>
   <line start="355" end="378" speaker="strongbad">A little bit of this... little bit of that... </line>
   <line start="379" end="410" speaker="strongbad">I'm outta here. DORKS!</line>
   <line start="411" end="424" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">humming</line>
   <line start="514" end="562" speaker="strongbad">Hey, you guys! Just dropping you a line here from "The Great Mound."</line>
   <line start="567" end="650" speaker="strongbad">I got two words for ya: false advertising. There's nothing great about this mound, okay?</line>
   <line start="655" end="700" speaker="strongbad">And another thing: there's nothing but old ladies hanging around this mound!</line>
   <line start="701" end="772" speaker="strongbad">You know, wearing their muumuus and their tutus and all their Dainty McDainty crap...</line>
   <line start="780" end="838" speaker="strongbad">Like...I don't like old ladies. I don't even wanna see 'em.</line>
   <line start="845" end="912" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, the mound was a big disappointment. I'll write from my next destination. Later!</line>
   <line start="955" end="983" speaker="strongbad">Hey everybody. Don't be fooled.</line>
   <line start="990" end="1048" speaker="strongbad">Downtown Pantsburg isn't anywhere near as fabulous as it appears in that photograph.</line>
   <line start="1054" end="1112" speaker="strongbad">I mean, they don't even let you ride that bike! In fact, it was, like, welded to that little house!</line>
   <line start="1125" end="1178" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, I met some guys here, they were pretty cool, we hung out,</line>
   <line start="1182" end="1237" speaker="strongbad">y'know, made fun of this one girl...pushed some guy into some mud...</line>
   <line start="1245" end="1302" speaker="strongbad">We traded addresses and stuff and they say they're gonna come visit, but, you know how that ends up.</line>
   <line start="1303" end="1318" speaker="strongbad">I'll never see 'em again.</line>
   <line start="1330" end="1380" speaker="strongbad">Come to think of it, I probably should have taken some of their stuff. Oh well.</line>
   <line start="1385" end="1459" speaker="strongbad">That old highway's a-callin' my name, so, you'll hear from me soon. Peace!</line>
   <line start="1524" end="1534" speaker="strongbad">Tee hee hee!</line>
   <line start="1560" end="1600" speaker="strongbad">Oh man. My legs don't even reach the pedals!</line>
   <line start="1608" end="1698" speaker="strongbad">This is about as fun as Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... But actually, that was pretty fun.</line>
   <line start="1703" end="1733" speaker="strongbad">There's that part where you think you're going to hit the badger, and—</line>
   <line start="1734" end="1757" speaker="strongbad">What the? Oh geez!</line>
   <line start="1790" end="1808" speaker="strongbad">Hey, coupons!</line>
   <line start="1833" end="1887"><sfx>guitar</sfx><strongbad>It's that clooooock... come on you guuuuuuys...</strongbad></line>
   <line start="1888" end="1956"><sfx>guitar</sfx><strongbad>you need to check it on ouuuuuuuut... it's that CLOCK! I can't believe it!</strongbad></line>
   <line start="1970" end="2008" speaker="strongbad">Okay, the best thing about this postcard is if you look at the clock,</line>
   <line start="2009" end="2041" speaker="strongbad">that's the exact same time that I first laid eyes on the clock!</line>
   <line start="2042" end="2131" speaker="strongbad">2:55, man. And like, iddi—oh, wait, it still says... 2:55. Okay, well, the clock is broken, but still!</line>
   <line start="2132" end="2175" speaker="strongbad">It's about the best thing I've ever seen in my whole liiiiiife!</line>
   <line start="2178" end="2207" speaker="strongbad">Okay, now I got to bust a wicked solo.</line>
   <line start="2208" end="2307" speaker="sfx">sparse acoustic guitar solo</line>
   <line start="2308" end="2321" speaker="strongbad">Thank you, good night!</line>
   <line start="2342" end="2397" speaker="strongbad">'Sup, everybody? Here I am in Two Cars, Tennessee, and you know what?</line>
   <line start="2401" end="2457" speaker="strongbad">I kinda miss you guys and your emails... I can almost hear one of them now:</line>
   <line start="2465" end="2509" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Stong Bad, You are crap. Crap is the best."</line>
   <line start="2510" end="2556" speaker="strongbad">"Everybody loves crap. Crap is in the mix. Crap is to the max."</line>
   <line start="2560" end="2650" speaker="strongbad">"How does Homestar pick stuff up if he's not wearing any Marzi-pants? Crapfully crap, Monkey D, Seattle, Washington."</line>
   <line start="2660" end="2713" speaker="strongbad">Ahh... okay! I got my fix. On to the next town!</line>
   <line start="2721" end="2807" speaker="strongbad">Oh, and incidentally, I highly recommend Two Cars, Tennessee. It's got a real happenin' arts and crafts scene.</line>
   <line start="2838" end="2901" speaker="strongbad">Hey guys, just a quick one while I'm away. So I visited Historic Over There.</line>
   <line start="2908" end="2960" speaker="strongbad">Don't be fooled by the old-timey photograph— the place really looks like that.</line>
   <line start="2961" end="3015" speaker="strongbad">Like, everything is tan and brown. The sky? Tan.</line>
   <line start="3018" end="3065" speaker="strongbad">And the streets are paved with a little different shade of tan.</line>
   <line start="3072" end="3121" speaker="strongbad">It was nothing but antique stores down there, like I couldn't find a single restaurant!</line>
   <line start="3126" end="3177" speaker="strongbad">I have a sneaking suspicion the people in Over There eat antiques.</line>
   <line start="3178" end="3244" speaker="strongbad">Yeah. Screwed up. There was one guy out there doing caricatures, though.</line>
   <line start="3246" end="3353" speaker="strongbad">I stopped by and got one... of myself... he made me... a caric-ter... choor... it was great.</line>
   <line start="3365" end="3441" speaker="strongbad">Okay. All this old Coca-Cola memorabilia is making me thirsty. I'll talk at ya soon.</line>
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