Crystal Fortress

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Toon Category: Shorts
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Old Toon Category: Powered by The Cheat
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"Unicorns?! Who-who are you?"

In this partially-Powered by The Cheat music video, Davey attempts to call Strong Bad from his crystal fortress — but the wrestleman has got some countermeasures!

Cast (in order of appearance): Davey, Stave, Strong Bad, Unicorn, Haddi-Man kids

Date: Monday, September 28, 2009

Running Time: 2:09

Page Title: Davey Gets His Due!


[edit] Transcript

DAVEY: Mmm. French fries.
OTHER GUY: Mmm. Yeah, they're good. Gee, Davey, Strong Bad always seems so hostile. I bet he doesn't even know how much everybody loves him.
DAVEY: Nope, nope. I don't think so either.
DAVEY: I've written a song I think'll make Strong Bad understand.
DAVEY: I'm gonna sing it.

STRONG BAD: {spoken} Uh-huh. I already don't like the sound of this one. {sarcastically} Ohh, vomit-inducing! My favorite!
STAVE: {singing throughout} Come down from your crystal fortress, oh Strong Bad,
STAVE: A unicorn awaits at a rainbow bridge,
STRONG BAD: Unicorns?! Who a–who are you?
STAVE: Her head is bowed and a tiny tear traces these words in the dew.
STRONG BAD: All right, you whiny weasels.

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress
OTHER SINGER: {singing back up vocals throughout} Strong Bad
STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress,
STRONG BAD: {singing} Shut up.
OTHER SINGER: {simultaneously} Strong Bad
STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress.

STRONG BAD: {screamed} Throw me a squeedley guitar!
STRONG BAD: {electric guitar music} Let me tell ya,
STRONG BAD: You get French fries, and you get French fries, but you don't get French fries,
STRONG BAD: That's right! You get French fries, and you get French fries, but you don't get no French fries,
OTHER SINGER: {simultaneously, heavy metal style screaming} You don't get french friiies. You get french friiiiies! They Might be Giiiants, gets no french friiies! Yeeah-ah yeah-ah yeah ah!
STRONG BAD: You get the French fries, and you get the French fries, but you don't get French fries!

STAVE: Unchain your trembling hopes and dreams, oh Strong Bad,
STRONG BAD: Awwwwwwww! I thought you were done.
STAVE: The love you deny is the key that will melt the lock,
STRONG BAD: I'll melt your face!
STAVE: Our golden shining spirits,
STAVE: will all join hands and sing.

STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress
STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress
STRONG BAD: I'm not coming down from no place.
STAVE: Please come down from your crystal fortress.
STRONG BAD: {singing} Shut up... you stupid hippie.

STRONG BAD: {spoken} I'm-a gonna throw a brick at your cellist.

{A crash is heard, with the sound of a piano being broken}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • This song comes from They Might Be Giants Podcast 37A, which was released eleven months before this toon. During the podcast, John Flansburgh mentions that the song is "hopefully going to be made into something with Homestar."

[edit] Trivia

Matt says - Here's a little something we made years ago with the They Might Be Giants boys that we never really did anything with (they released it on a podcast one time, though). So we figured we'd give the keys to The Cheat (in his first video since hip-hop/death metal smash hit Trudgemank)and mix it with a healthy dose of 'Stave it Off Guy' from the 'for kids' sbemail. I've just been calling him Stave for short. My dream was always to get Linnell dressed up like Stave and have puppet Strong Bad harrass and harangue him but that puppet weighs too freaking much to take anywhere.
  • This is the only Powered by The Cheat cartoon on not to show The Cheat or anyone else at the end.
  • Strong Bad stylized as a "Haddi-Man" kid has ears.
  • This was the first toon updated to use the Ruffle Flash emulator, before the website was completely overhauled to use it on December 31, 2020.
  • The backup singer during Strong Bad's rock section is Sharon Jones as revealed in a tweet.

[edit] Remarks

  • Although Strong Bad says he's "gonna throw a brick at [their] cellist", the instrument that is heard afterward is a piano.
  • Matt Chapman refers to the singer in the RSS entry as "Stave".
  • Although Strong Bad reacts as if he hates unicorns, he did say he wanted a poster of a unicorn riding a snowmobile in portrait.

[edit] Goofs

  • The girl is the only one of the Haddi-Man kids that does not have a shadow.
  • During the scene where the unicorn is heading towards the key, the background runs out and shows white at the very last frame. This is most noticeable in the Flash file.

[edit] Inside References

  • French fries are commonly seen and mentioned throughout the music video.
  • Inside Davey's mouth, there are French fries still in the box.
  • The guitarist first appeared in Whaddaya Know, Haddi-man? in for kids, as did the three children.
    • Also, "Haddi-Man", who was listed as one of the directors, was Homsar's public television name in the same email.
  • Strong Bad declares the music to be vomit-inducing.
  • Strong Bad's comments throughout the song are similar to those in Sensitive to Bees. In both songs, he responds to the first sung line with "What?".
  • Strong Bad says he'll melt the guitarist's face; in coloring, he attempted to "melt" Limozeen's faces with his crayons. Also, in the DVD commentary for the bet, Strong Bad connects "guitar-shredding" with face-melting.
  • When Strong Bad is seen on the mountaintop, he is depicted as being really muscular.
  • The pixelated lightning bolts at the beginning of Strong Bad's metal segment are directly imported from the Peasant's Quest title screen.
  • Strong Bad threatens to throw a brick, something he also did in the DVD Sketchbook and the process.
  • At the beginning of Strong Bad's metal segment, the picture shown in the background is the "Unicorn In Paradise" poster (sans unicorn), which was also seen in his bedroom.
  • This toon prominently features unicorns.

[edit] Real-World References

  • Davey's costume before Strong Bad appears on the mountaintop is based on that of Brunnhilde from Wagner's "Ring" cycle. It is considered an iconic and stereotypical operatic costume.
  • The scene with Strong Bad on the mountaintop is reminiscent of "Night On Bald Mountain" sequence of the Disney movie, Fantasia, with Strong Bad as Chernabog.
  • The line "You get French fries, and you get French fries, but you don't get French fries" may be a reference to the They Might Be Giants song, "Even Numbers", which contains the line, "you like French fries, but you don't like French fries".

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links

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