First Time Here?

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Current revision as of 08:21, 23 August 2023

"Oh, I am Homestar, and this is a website!"

The welcome speech for first-time viewers of homestarrunner.com. Directed by Cherry Greg.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Clapper Loader, Cherry Greg, Strong Bad

Places: The Field

Date: Thursday, March 28, 2002

Running Time: 1:52

Page title: HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 1

[edit] Transcript

{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a clapperboard obstructing the view. The screen is overlaid with a video camera frame including a blinking red "Record" light.}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 1. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away so Homestar becomes visible}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! {In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.} Welcome to Homestarrunner.net.

CHERRY GREG: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. "It's dot com!"

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away from Homestar}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Something.com!

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} Cut!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 6. {snaps clapperboard}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bip}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} English!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 13. {snaps clapperboard}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

CHERRY GREG: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 25. {snaps clapperboard}

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing one of four ridiculous costumes (see the Fun Facts below).}

CHERRY GREG: Uhhh, no.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {trying to sound innocent} What??

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 126. {snaps clapperboard again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Oh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and shoves Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {mockingly} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {normal tone} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: {spreads out his arms} Check me out! No, seriously, {spreads his arms again} check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. {quietly} I mean, I played it...

{Links to Strong Bad Email, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Trivia

• Cherry Greg was voiced by long-time collaborator Dan Kubis in this toon. In Fluffy Puff Commercial, he was voiced by co-creator Craig Zobel.
• All of the incorrect URLs Homestar mentions in the toon actually exist, or have at some point; most were created by fans in response to this toon.
  • something.com, established in the 1990s, usually contains nothing but the text "Something." on an otherwise blank index page.
  • usshomestarrunner.com was a Homestar Runner fansite and later a forum, until mid-2011 when the domain name was not renewed. The domain was held by an unrelated site until 2020. It currently redirects to the homepage for Come On, Fhqwhpods!, a Homestar Runner fan podcast.
  • imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com was a Homestar Runner fansite created by a Hofstra University web design student hosted on the University's server. It was briefly updated from 2003 to 2004, going offline in 2008. The URL is currently used by a website unrelated to Homestar Runner.
  • homestarrunner.net was initially a simple landing page directing fellow fans to homestarrunner.com. The site later expanded to hosting a Homestar Runner fan forum from January through August 2003, even interviewing Matt Chapman in May 2003, before shutting it down and reverting to a simple landing page. In 2007, the site was revamped as a fansite network. As of 2008, the URL redirects to the Homestar Runner Wiki.
• The Spanish dialogue that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Miguel? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish textbook.
• Homestar Runner wears a randomly selected costume in Take 25, including:
  • Naked (pixelated)
  • Witch
  • Sailor
  • Clown

[edit] Remarks

• The Clapper Loader may lack visible arms because the clapperboard appears to operate without anyone holding it.
• When Homestar talks in Spanish, his speech impediment is much lighter. For example, when he says, "homestarrunner.com", he does so without a problem.
• In the same take, "Miguel" may be referencing Mike Chapman, considering that Miguel is the Spanish equivalent of Michael.
• By the time they get to take 126, the clapperboard states that they are on roll 11. Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
• Homestar's shirt contains the earlier design color.
• At the very end of the toon, there are 21 extra frames that don't do anything.
• In the Spanish dialogue, Homestar should pronounce the name "Homestar Runner punto com", as "punto" is the Spanish name for the period mark.

[edit] Goofs

• When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a punctuation error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".

[edit] Inside References

• The format of this cartoon is very similar to Fluffy Puff Commercial, where Cherry Greg also has problems getting Homestar to read his lines correctly.
• This is another instance of Homestar Runner peeking.

[edit] DVD Version

• You can choose which costume Homestar wears in Take 25 by using the angle button:

1. Clown
2. Witch
3. Naked
4. Sailor

[edit] YouTube Version

• The video is titled "Welcome Speech".
• All of Homestar's alternate costumes play in sequence. Take 25 is the clown outfit, followed by the witch (take 29), sailor (take 36), and finally naked Homestar (take 43). Cherry Greg says a variation of "no" each time, and Homestar only replies "What?" after the last one.
• The A Jorb Well Done and Homestar Talker icons are replaced with Fish Eye Lens and TROGDOR!, respectively.

[edit] External Links

• watch "First Time Here?"
• watch "First Time Here?" on YouTube
• watch "First Time Here?" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "First Time Here?"