Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Some characters make a very brief appearance in Teen Girl Squad, often hurting one of the girls. Usually, they are never seen again. These are those characters.
A Helicopter
This Helicopter made its first and only appearance in the first Teen Girl Squad issue. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to harm living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls. Strong Bad supplied the rapid fire noise of its deadly projectiles.
Dinosaur
The Dinosaur punted What's Her Face across the cartoon in Issue 1.
Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She died upon landing.
Cloud Monster
In Teen Girl Squad Issue 2, as the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. This Cloud Monster quickly chomped on some birds.
The Vulture and the Bat
The Vulture swooped The Ugly One when she got jealous of So and So getting No I In Team Boy to date her in Teen Girl Squad Issue 2. The Bat grasped Cheerleader for the same reasons.
Thrift Store Girl
This girl is found at the thrift store that What's Her Face shopped at in Teen Girl Squad Issue 3. She stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." Although she is assumed to be a girl, her gender isn't actually verified.
Possums
This bunch of possums attacked What's Her Face as she walked home from the thrift store in Teen Girl Squad Issue 3. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made What's Her Face's blood hurt.
Brett Bretterson
Brett Bretterson is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is so far only mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issue 4. Not paying attention to her friends saying that he's not real, So And So treats Brett as if he was real and acts like she can see and hear him. This often causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when falling in the Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit ends their plans abruptly.
So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.
Giant Brain Mech
The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because The Man with the Huge Mouth can be seen controlling the thing under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D Cheerleader when Quarterback suggested that she should go get some brains in Teen Girl Squad Issue 4.
Fat Bird
The fat bird is first seen in Teen Girl Squad Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.
Gift Exchange Lion
This lion, who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of Decemberween presents, but What's Her Face declines.
Smiley Face Man
This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both The Man with the Huge Mouth) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping.
Hawaiian Guy
This musician wears a hat, Hawaiian shirt, and plays an ukulele. He is seen in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad alongside a wave of babies. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as the babies appeared.
Babies
These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's-Her-Face in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone.
Gazelle Carcass
This half-digested animal is presented by The Ugly One at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to Cheerleader to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses. The Ugly One seems to have odd taste in choosing Decemberween gifts.
Fat Man
He's a fat man in a singlet. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum in Teen Girl Squad Issue 7. He looks a lot like an overweight wrestler who has a cleft chin and an angry face. He bears a striking resemblance to pro wrestler King Kong Bundy.
Bill Bellamy
This is the bell seen in Teen Girl Squad Issue 7. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian Bill Bellamy.
Intercom
The Intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school shown in Teen Girl Squad Issue 8. It is hanging up high in the girls' classroom. It is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch. It will also give orders on occasion. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It was shown introducing the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "Kissyboots."
Floor Tom
In Teen Girl Squad Issue 8, when The Ugly One does her 16-hour drum solo, she was rudely interrupted by an evil drum when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo.
Fatty
Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance". He attends the same school as the Teen Girl Squad members. He played before Kissyboots in Teen Girl Squad Issue 8's the "Battle of The Bands". With his two tone suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a ska machine.
Trolls
The trolls enter So and So's dressing room in Teen Girl Squad Issue 8 while So and So is wearing lots of black. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!
A Shark
Whilst What's Her Face is playing for Teen Girl Squad Issue 8's battle of the bands, her guitar turns into a shark. This causes What's Her Face to comment, "My bass feels seaworthy." The shark quickly bit off What's Her Face's "most of her" (the top half of her body). Amazingly, the shark can also play bass even with no fingers, so Cheerleader made him her new backup band. The shark followed along with the song quite nicely, but was heard chomping Cheerleader as soon as the song was finished.
