Cold One
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Cold Ones are a popular beverage in Free Country, USA that are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. Although there has been debate if they are actually alcoholic or not, the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler in the email "for kids". Also, since the Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion is that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Warm Ones" could possibly be referring to the misconception that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
Property of Ones
Equation stated by Strong Bad for determining the Oneness of a One:
- o is the final value of the Oneness of a One
- n is a value equivalent to the base Oneness of a One
- c is the temperature of the One.
o=(nITUDE∝cITUDE)
...or, in a more simple form:
The OneITUDE is directly proportionate to the ColdITUDE of the One.
Types Of Ones
- Cold Ones — Preferred by Strong Bad
- Cool Ones — A nice alternative on spring nights
- Xtra Cold Ones — A step up from Cold Ones
- Not So Cold Ones — Enjoyed by Coach Z. At least 90 degrees
- Room Temp-A-Ture Ones — Foreign brand brewed in Foreign Lands
- Warm Ones — Foreign brand straight from the oven
- Cold None — Not to be wished on anyone
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