Front Facing

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 09:21, 14 February 2024

"The eyes! My horror!"

Strong Bad and The Cheat are planning to sell snowballs, only to find Homestar trying something new.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Pom Pom, Wenda and Brambi (Easter egg), Anew App (Easter egg), Tofu Homestar (YouTube version), The Cobblestone Kid (YouTube version)

Places: The Field, The Beach (Easter egg), Basement of the Brothers Strong (Easter egg)

Date: Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Running Time: 3:10 (TV Time Toons Menu), 4:06 (YouTube, complete with Easter eggs)

Page Title: Take the Pool By the Horns!

Transcript

{Open on Strong Bad and The Cheat walking in silhouette. "The Name Of This Cartoon Would Ruin It" fades in before the camera cuts in closer. The Cheat is carrying a bucket of snowballs.}

STRONG BAD: We're not selling snowballs, The Cheat. We're selling destiny! Our shot at the bigger times!

THE CHEAT: {Dismissive The Cheat noises sounding like "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."}

{Homestar enters the frame, facing the camera.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hey, Strong Bad, how's the day?

STRONG BAD: Ah! Nobin... whaddna... Uh-uh, explain!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What, this? I'm just practicing my front-facing.

STRONG BAD: {confused} Practicing your... front...?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Front-facing, yeah! You get to do it all the time.

{Strong Bad turns to smile at the camera with a "Ding!" sound effect before turning to Homestar again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But now it's MY time to shine! Shine like a dime in the buff.

STRONG BAD: {disturbed} Okay... I guess... but why do you sound kinda different?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cuz I'm Front-Facing Homestar. You wouldn't expect Wenda to sound like Brambi, would you? So why would Front-Facing Homestar sound like Regular Homestar?

STRONG BAD: Who the crap are Wenda and Brambi?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Friends of mine. But, now that I think about it, they actually sound... pretty much the same, so it was a terrible example. But the point stands!

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, can you believe this nonsense?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Wait, YOU want to try it?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises sounding like "Uh-huh!"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, give it a shot, The Cheat.

THE CHEAT: {Turns left, making a The Cheat noise}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No.

THE CHEAT: {Turns right, making a The Cheat noise, then alternates left and right while Homestar talks}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You missed it. Almost. Slow down.

THE CHEAT:' {Alternates faster with angry The Cheat noises before jumping and facing away}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: He-hey, Backwards-Facing The Cheat!

STRONG BAD: Alright, I'm done with this. Can I talk to Left-Facing Homestar?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Alright, hold on: Zambledom, zumbledom, turtleneck stew!

{Homestar jumps and spins as a purple swirl surrounds him, facing left after he lands}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Buh-ding! Here I am.

STRONG BAD: What the crap was that?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I have to do a spell!

STRONG BAD: {groans} Listen. You're acting dumb enough that you just might fall for this. I got a business proposition for ya's.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you wanna talk to Right-Facing Homestar, but he's not around.

STRONG BAD: Dare I speak to... Back-Facing Homestar?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sure. {singsong} But you know what that means...

{Homestar turns away as music starts. A pair of buttocks bulges through his shirt as he moves.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Every single butt dance! All of them at once! {Poses with the butt visible with the sound of rubber bouncing}

STRONG BAD: {screams} My horror! The eyes! Er, wait, I mean... Back to Front-Facing. FRONT-FACING!

{Homestar faces frontwards again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hi again.

STRONG BAD: Wanna buy a snowball to the face? Three for a dolla'! And there's a chance that one has five doll {quietly} hairs inside.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, Strong Bad. Left- and maybe Right-Facing Homestar might fall for such pedestrian shenanigans, but not me. I'm facing life head-on! I'm taking the pool by the horns!

STRONG BAD: Are you sure you're smarter than those other-facing Homestars?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, yeah. I've even got a way to goose your money-making scam.

STRONG BAD: {leans in} Oh yeah?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {quietly} Whisper-whesper...

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Say once...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {quietly} Mumble-bumble...

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Tell twice...

{fade to black, fade in to Strong Sad with the snowball bucket (which now has "Not the scam!" written on it) and Pom Pom. Strong Sad is throwing and catching a snowball in one hand.}

STRONG SAD: I'm not selling snowballs, I'm selling destiny!

POM POM: {bubbles}

STRONG SAD: And if you buy enough, {points, dropping the snowball} you too can become an official snowballstiny reseller!

POM POM: {bubbles as a wad of cash emerges from him, hitting Strong Sad in the face}

{camera pans to Strong Bad sitting on a pile of cash with "Snowballstiny industries HQ" written on a cardboard sign in front of it, next to Front-Facing Homestar holding a coffee cup labelled "Hot Jones"}

STRONG BAD: {laughs} I never thought I'd say this, but thanks, Front-Facing Homestar! {holds up a Hot Jones cup of his own} Cheers to ya.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Here's beans in your eye. {splashes Hot Jones on his face before sputtering and spitting} Still haven't figured out how to drink with this thing on. I'm getting... pretty thirsty.

{cut to silhouette as the title "Front-Facing Homestar" appears}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on Homestar to see Front-Facing Homestar invade Main Page 3.

{cursor moves over the Toons button}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Toons!

{Front-Facing Homestar's head makes a steamboat noise appearing from the background, then and crashes into the beach as Homestar dives offscreen.}

• At the end, click on Strong Bad to see Strong Bad and The Cheat in the Basement of the Brothers Strong.

{The Cheat, still facing backwards, is standing on the couch and crying}

STRONG BAD: I don't know! I don't know how to turn you back! Uh... what was that spell? Jumble... grumble... humble pie... make this Cheat turn back to his side!

{The Cheat jumps and spins, surrounded by a purple swirl}

HOMESTAR RUNNER (VOICEOVER): Buh-ding!

{The Cheat faces frontwards}

THE CHEAT: {grins with a happy The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: {screams}

• At the end, click on the word "Homestar" to see a scene of Homestar in The Field.

{Two snowmen with crudely-drawn cardboard heads are visible. The left has a "B" engraved in its torso, the right a "W". Homestar peeks from behind each and moves their face to make them "talk" in a gruff voice.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as the left snowman} Hey, Wenda. How's the day?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as the right snowman} I'm Brambi, remember? We're just borrowing each others' shirts!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as Wenda} Oh right. I can hardly tell me apart.

• At the end, click on the dash between "Front" and "Facing" to see Homestar applying some stickers to a piece of paper.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The toon has three different official names: "The Name of This Cartoon Would Ruin It" on the title card and the YouTube video, "Front-Facing" on the TV Time Toons Menu, and "Front-Facing Homestar" on the end card.

Inside References

• Back-Facing Homestar does the Butt Dance.
• Strong Bad and Homestar drink/attempt to drink Hot Jones.
• In the Easter egg, the "Paunch" sticker was seen in dictionary, while the Anew App sticker comes from Decemberweenvent Calendar.
• Front-Facing Homestar has been seen before, in the toon Marshmallow's Last Stand.

Real-World References

• Strong Bad's mention of "doll-hairs" is a reference to the episode "Time Tunnel" from the 1990s Nickelodeon show The Adventures of Pete & Pete, where Bill Korn bets Teddy Forzman one dollar that he won't go on a mechanical horse kiddie ride. When Teddy rides it and demands his winnings, Bill claims that he actually said "doll-hair".

External Links

• watch "Front Facing"
• watch "Front Facing" on YouTube