History according to Strong Bad

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 16:05, 23 May 2006

Strong Bad Lore: mysterious myths or legendary legends?

Strong Bad Lore is an instance where Strong Bad presents as historical fact elements that are either clearly false or that can't be verified. These legends often parody actual historical story-telling techniques, or attempt to make Strong Bad look good in the present and the past. Other characters can be involved in the stories and story telling as well. Since they are usually done in emails, Strong Bad Lore stories often center around the history of Strong Badia.

Examples of Strong Bad Lore

In Strong Bad Emails

personal favorites

Strong Bad is asked which Strong Bad Email is his favorite. Although Strong Bad says "[his] emails are like [his] childrens" (he loves them all), he proceeds to name his "personal favorites." While the first two emails (invisibility and gimmicks) he mentions exist, the rest have never been seen before. Said emails include Bubs building a Strong Bad Robot, soy sauce drunk Strong Bad "flying" Bubs' Concession Stand and Pom Pom and Coach Z's knife fight on the stone bridge. As a result, so many viewers have tried to find the nonexistent emails, that an answer was added to the site's FAQ on the matter.

couch patch

Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Homestar and Coach Z all offer their respective memories of how the patch of tape appeared on the couch in the basement. Strong Bad claims it's there because he cut the couch open to make a hiding place for his "Aztec gold" (actually oil filters), but the inside of the couch smelled horrible so he taped over the cut to stop the smell. Strong Sad claims he remembers a young Strong Bad thinking that Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis was both a woman and hot, and graffiti'd so on the couch, taping it over to cover it up. Homestar tries to provide an explanation, but forgets what the subject of the email was, rambling on about his passion for Teddy Graham spitting. Coach Z claims he vomited in a rip in the couch after Strong Bad served him bad gumbo, and taped it up to hide the evidence. Since Strong Bad supported this testimony, it is the only one that can be verified. The origins of the rip that Coach Z puked into are still a mystery.

colonization

Strong Bad explains Strong Badia's origins. Portraying himself as a Pilgrim persecuted by Strong Sad for his egg-ketchuping ways, leaves Free Country, USA to set up a new colony in an empty lot behind the dumpsters, owned by local landlord Bubs, who is portrayed as a Native American-like savage. They celebrate Strong Badia's first Thanksgiving at a nearby picnic table with some leftover Hardee's burgers.

flashback

Strong Bad tells the story of how he and Homestar first met in a children's book, also telling how Strong Bad came to discover The Cheat and the origin of The King of Town's eating problem. Strong Bad, after playing tennis on the Moon with Coach Z, returns to Free Country, USA and comes across a large pink egg, which Homestar is standing beside. Homestar and Strong Bad get in an argument over who owns the egg, which The Prince of Town settles with a ten-step footrace. Homestar wins, and the Prince delcares that loser gets the egg. Strong Bad and Strong Mad break open the egg, inside finding a lifetime supply of fishsticks, and The Cheat. The Cheat mashes play on a jam box and all the characters have a dance party. The Prince claims the fishsticks and gains his rotund figure, becoming the King. Homestar verifies Strong Bad's story, but it's implied that he thinks it's actually a fictional children's book.

old comics

Strong Bad gets asked why the King of Town has a poopsmith, and proceeds to break the fourth wall spectacularly by showing old comics featuring the King of Town and his entourage, including the Poopsmith, in an unfunny comic strip over 60 years old. Strong Bad and Homestar make cameo appearances so that The Castlefunnies can mooch off of their popularity. Strong Bad does not clarify whether his appearance in the strip was an experience he actually had, or simply a representation of him.

origins

Strong Bad is asked of the origin of The Stick and if it had always been a good place for hanging out and making rendezvous. Strong Bad refuses to respond to this question directly, instead choosing to indulge people's curiosities about The Stick's hanging-out-itude. The Stick's hanging-out-itude, in Strong Bad's words, presently ranks at ten, though such was not always the case, particularly when Homestar held his weekly bread sing-alongs there. The Brothers Strong and The Cheat avoided The Stick until they decided to hold The Cheat's rhythmic chain-dance recitals at the same location. After Homestar's sing-alongs' popularity faded and Strong Mad ate The Cheat's chainwhip, The Stick was the perfect spot for spraypainting Marzipan and also for super-gluing someone to someone else (illustrated with Marzipan being super-glued to Homsar) and leaving them both for dead. However, to properly "leave them for dead", instead of just keep "hanging around them for dead", the Brothers Strong and The Cheat moved to behind Bubs' Concession Stand, where they called themselves the On Point Kings, had nothing to do with guff, and, ultimately, stole the King of Town's dunce cap, renaming it Lotionman (Strong Mad's idea), which would never have happened had it not been for The Stick and Marzipan's "considerable resistance to death".

highschool

Strong Bad explains the characters' younger days. In highschool, the characters filled the obligatory roles for old cartoons about teenagers as a 70s-style gang of mystery solvers. Before that, in middle school, they were all imaginative melon-headed babies, occupying their time pretending to be living their dreams (being captain of the football team, playing better video games, not sitting next to the The Diapersmith.) Homestar is portrayed as some kind of grown adult supervisor. Before that, the gang were a bunch of microscopic single-celled organisms living in a petri dish. And yet before that, they were all Romans, living in Roman times. Before telling this history, he claims his memory is extremely unphotographic, and thus it is all likely not true.

myths & legends

Strong Bad details the legends surrounding the Bear holding a Shark. Much of the Bear-Shark's origins can be seen in the constellations over Strong Badia, which shows the seven elemental spirits of Strong Badia: a snake, a guy holding the Big Knife, a box of chicken, a piece of wood with some nails in it, a hand giving the "OK" symbol, a fish wearing an afro wig, and a British distance runner. The distance runner held up the fish with the fro wig over his head, and the two defeated the other spirits in either paintball or Red Rover, thus becoming the new rulers. After years of bad story telling and the telephone game, the myth went through various incarnations, as evidenced by various documentary-type evidence, ranging from medieval wood carvings of a hairy "wildernessman" with a "sea beast", to a cathedral-style stained glass window of a moose holding an iguana in its antlers. Strong Bad then researches some "ancient fence drawings" on the Strong Badian picket fence, which consist of strange images of the Bear-Shark destroying villages and crops, stealing babies, and bike riding with what appears to be its family. The drawings were actually done by Strong Bad at age 5, though he has long forgotten this. Bubs begins selling Bear-Shark merchandise like t-shirts, frozen treats and plush toys. Srong Sad remains a firm skeptic of the Bear-Shark, declaring it to probably be a weather balloon or a foreign exchange student. Homestar managed to capture blurry Bigfoot-style footage of what may be the Bear-Shark in the woods, but this only adds to the question of whether the Bear-Shark is a mysterious myth or a legendary legend.

In Shorts

TrogdorCon '97

Strong Bad and The Cheat get a booth at what Strong Bad calls "Trogdor Con '97". Later, Strong Sad debunks this one by confirming that "It's not called TrogdorCon and it's 2005". One can assume that it was Dragon Con.