Subtitles:sbemail88/en

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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for couch patch. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail88.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="15" end="43">
<strongbad>I'm goin' to try something a little different.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="44" end="110">
<strongbad>Print out million dollar bill, dot e-x-e.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="111" end="115">
<sfx>computer beep</sfx>
</line>
<line start="116" end="130">
<strongbad>What? Oh.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="135" end="228">
<strongbad>No for real, print me out a million dollar bill, man, dot e-x-e.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="230" end="234">
<sfx>computer beep</sfx>
</line>
<line start="235" end="340">
<strongbad>Um, this time <em>really</em> print me out a million dollars bill, dot nofoolin'.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="341" end="346">
<sfx>computer beep</sfx>
</line>
<line start="347" end="374">
<strongbad>What the--! Don't give me none of that crosstalk!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="375" end="445">
<strongbad>Oh well, it was worth a shot. Now on to... <em>(sighs)</em> on to the email.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="446" end="469">
<sfx>typing</sfx>
</line>
<line start="470" end="535">
<strongbad>"Is there a story buh-heend the patch on the couch? If so, do tell! Form, your pal."</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="536" end="552">
<strongbad>Ooh, my pal!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="553" end="580">
<strongbad>Well Palbert, it's a good story.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="581" end="609">
<strongbad>And now you all have to hear it.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="610" end="671">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">Seems I was looking for a place to hide all my Aztec gold.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="672" end="705">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">But when I made the first incision,</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="706" end="753">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">not only did I realize that I don't have any Aztec gold,--</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="754" end="803">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">--but I unleashed a stench of biblical proportions.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="804" end="860">
<strongbad>They had to call in a hazmat team just to hose me hose me hose me down!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="866" end="908">
<strongbad sfx="sfx">screaming</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="909" end="944">
<strongbad>I had to spend a fortune on Glade plugins.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="946" end="960">
<strongsad>Now wait a second!</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="961" end="985">
<strongsad>That's not how I remember it.</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="986" end="1044">
<strongbad>Oh, and I'm sure every loser out there wants to hear your loser opinions, loser.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1045" end="1061">
<strongsad>They do!</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="1062" end="1125">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">I seem to remember a young Strong Bad thinking that Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis was a woman.</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="1126" end="1161">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">And that he was hot!</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="1165" end="1189">
<strongbad>That is entirely untrue.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1190" end="1219">
<homestar>Lies! All lies!</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1220" end="1260">
<homestar>Clearly I'm the only one who remembers how it all went down.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1270" end="1340">
<homestar voiceover="voiceover">It was not so long ago that I was in Strong Bad's basement spitting Teddy Grahams all over the place.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1351" end="1385">
<homestar voiceover="voiceover">One of them got stuck to the ceiling.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1400" end="1420" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar, shut up!</line>
<line start="1421" end="1447">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">This is about that patch on the couch.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1448" end="1485">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">It's clearly already on there in your flashback.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1488" end="1512">
<homestar>Oh, oh, ohhhhh.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1513" end="1568">
<homestar>I thought this week's email was entitled "Teddy Graham Memories."</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1573" end="1613">
<coachz><em>(altered voice)</em> No, no. I got the real scoop.</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1614" end="1664">
<coachz>Strong Bad had me over for Gumbo one night,</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1666" end="1745">
<coachz>...and I don't know what kind of doodoo meat he was using in there, but I had to puke!</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1746" end="1802">
<coachz>So I went downstairs and I noticed this little rip in the couch,</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1815" end="1827">
<coachz voiceover="voiceover">...so I puked in it!</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1837" end="1883">
<coachz>I... I'm sorry for what I done!</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1884" end="1927">
<strongbad>I liked that gumbo! I didn't use no doodoo meat.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1928" end="1976">
<strongbad>If I ever find out who that guy is...</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1982" end="2050">
<strongbad>Well, palbert, there's your answer. Me? I'm gonna go over there.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="2051" end="2059">
<sfx>The Geddup Noise</sfx>
</line>
<line start="2060" end="2070">
<strongbad>Oh wait!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="2071" end="2087">
<sfx>typing</sfx>
</line>
<line start="2093" end="2103" >
<sfx>computer beep</sfx>
</line>
<line start="2106" end="2119">
<homestar>No can do.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="2120" end="2162">
<strongbad>Oh crap! This computer is worthless.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="2163" end="2173">
<sfx>The Geddup Noise</sfx>
</line>
<line start="2178" end="2186">
<thepaper>Preeeow!</thepaper>
</line>
<line start="2203" end="2263">
<thepaper>Preeeeeeow!</thepaper>
</line>
<line start="2265" end="2320">
<homestar sfx="sfx">spitting noises</homestar>
</line>
<line start="2327" end="2343">
<sfx>explosion</sfx>
<thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat>
</line>
<line start="2346" end="2385">
<homestar>Dang, The Cheat. That computer's got something against you.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="2386" end="2440">
<homestar>Did you ever, like, pour Mountain Dew all over it?</homestar>
</line>
</transcript>
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