Subtitles:sbemail39/en

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These are the English subtitles for property of ones. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

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 <transcript xml:lang="en-us" width="550" height="400">
   <line start="15" end="74" speaker="strongbad">Gimme some of this and gimme some of thiiiiis... Gimme some of this.</line>
   <line start="77" end="136" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad, How's it hanging? Last weekend I almost drank a one that was not cold."</line>
   <line start="138" end="189" speaker="strongbad">"Has this ever happened to you? Dan Waters Dallas, Tejas"</line>
   <line start="198" end="250" speaker="strongbad">Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you...</line>
   <line start="251" end="300" speaker="strongbad">a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all.</line>
   <line start="306" end="352" speaker="strongbad">Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems.</line>
   <line start="355" end="409" speaker="strongbad">I call it "The Property of Ones." It goes like this:</line>
   <line start="410" end="478" speaker="strongbad">The ONE<sup>itude</sup> is directly proportional to the Cold<sup>itude</sup> of the ONE. </line>
   <line start="483" end="540" speaker="strongbad">So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is.</line>
   <line start="542" end="595" speaker="strongbad">Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.</line>
   <line start="605" end="666" speaker="strongbad">But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink Not So Cold Ones,</line>
   <line start="670" end="717" speaker="strongbad">Room Temperature Ones, and even Warm Ones.</line>
   <line start="718" end="784" speaker="strongbad">Whoah! But where I come from, it's CUH-HOLD ONES.</line>
   <line start="790" end="865" speaker="strongbad">Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing.</line>
   <line start="872" end="899" speaker="strongbad">Ooh... That's a good one.</line>
   <line start="945" end="960" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>
</transcript>