Subtitles:sbemail181/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail181.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="17" end="75" speaker="strongbad">Strong Bad email goes down smooth and clean like gasoline.</line> <line start="78" end="92" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad,</line> <line start="93" end="132" speaker="strongbad">"Me and some of my friends are thinking of doing a web comic together,</line> <line start="133" end="165" speaker="strongbad">"and I was wondering if you had suggestions for us.</line> <line start="166" end="175" speaker="strongbad">"Thanks a lot"</line> <line start="178" end="193" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8">for not using punctuation.</line> <line start="196" end="227" speaker="strongbad">"Gunk Iller, standing right behind you."</line> <line start="228" end="233" speaker="strongbad">Who are you?</line> <line start="234" end="259" speaker="strongbad">Gunhaver's evil twin brother?</line> <line start="262" end="291" speaker="strongbad">Well, I won't be needing your services today;</line> <line start="292" end="324" speaker="strongbad">all my gunk is plenty ill already.</line> <line start="332" end="354" speaker="strongbad">Web comics are easy, Gunky.</line> <line start="355" end="399" speaker="strongbad">They're all about video games, gamernerds, webgeeks,</line> <line start="400" end="458" speaker="strongbad">dorknerds, gamewads, nerdgames, webwebs, and elves.</line> <line start="463" end="495" speaker="strongbad">So just pick one of those and start tableting!</line> <line start="500" end="565" speaker="strongbad">Like the one where the slickly drawn college roommates make nothing but video game inside jokes!</line> <line start="571" end="612" speaker="strongbad">Uh, did you try to case mod that meatloaf you're makin'?</line> <line start="613" end="628" speaker="strongsad">No, why?</line> <line start="631" end="654" speaker="strongbad">'Cause I think it's BRICKED!</line> <line start="662" end="683" speaker="strongsad">3.2ghz cell processor with 3 dual-threaded cores, 1.8 TFLOPS, 256mb XDR...</line> <line start="684" end="770"> <strongsad>3.2ghz cell processor with 3 dual-threaded cores, 1.8 TFLOPS, 256mb XDR...</strongsad> <strongbad>Light bloom, floating point frame buffers, volumetric effects, high dynamic range rendering...</strongbad> </line> <line start="770" end="804" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, I wish I knew what that means.</line> <line start="805" end="866" speaker="strongbad">Another approach is to just ask for input from your viewers and rip that off for content.</line> <line start="867" end="890" speaker="strongbad">Pfff. What a cop-out.</line> <line start="891" end="909" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line> <line start="910" end="925" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Cheat has one of those.</line> <line start="926" end="1009" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">He gets people to send him the weird senders' names from spam emails, and then he makes interpretive drawings based on them!</line> <line start="1010" end="1051" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Classics like Colliding R. Reallying!</line> <line start="1052" end="1096" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And Knowingest J. Drawbridges!</line> <line start="1097" end="1144" speaker="strongbad">That stuff is totally messed up, The Cheat. That gunk is ill.</line> <line start="1145" end="1216" speaker="strongbad">But if cartoony or Cheaty drawings aren't your thing, break out your cracked serial numbers for...</line> <line start="1217" end="1274" speaker="strongbad">'Burn & Dodge: The Fantasy Photoshop Gradient Comic!'</line> <line start="1275" end="1286" speaker="strongbad">Hold!</line> <line start="1287" end="1339" speaker="strongbad">Borgorroth of Coolswordorroth shimmies for no man!</line> <line start="1340" end="1358" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line> <line start="1365" end="1390" speaker="strongbad">LENS FLARE!</line> <line start="1391" end="1405" speaker="strongbad">Uh, <span style="visibility:hidden">PLASTIC WRAP!</span></line> <line start="1406" end="1426" speaker="strongbad">Uh, PLASTIC WRAP!</line> <line start="1427" end="1489" speaker="strongbad">Or if you can't draw, never fear, just steal some graphics from your favorite video game.</line> <line start="1490" end="1577" speaker="strongbad">And add yet another unlicensed pixel comic to the overcrowded, overstunk landfill of web comics.</line> <line start="1578" end="1615"><stinkoman>Sometimes I wish I could challenge my own self.</stinkoman><sfx>Stinkoman 20X6 theme plays</sfx></line> <line start="1616" end="1638"><sfx>zapping</sfx><sfx>Stinkoman 20X6 theme plays</sfx></line> <line start="1639" end="1660"><oneup>I'm Stinkoman!</oneup><sfx>Stinkoman 20X6 theme plays</sfx></line> <line start="1661" end="1683"><stinkoman>WAAAAAAAAH!</stinkoman><sfx>Stinkoman 20X6 theme plays</sfx></line> <line start="1683" end="1711"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">And when your pixel comic's not funny,</strongbad></line> <line start="1712" end="1760"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">MS Paint your way to a non-punchline!</strongbad><sfx>Stinkoman 20X6 theme plays</sfx></line> <line start="1768" end="1861" speaker="strongbad">As terrible as this is, I suppose web comics are a better fate for video games than Saturday morning cartoons were.</line> <line start="1862" end="1886" speaker="kid">Ah, come on, Secret Collect!</line> <line start="1887" end="1922" speaker="kid">Let's go surfing inside the evil castle!</line> <line start="1923" end="1941" speaker="dog">Uh, dudical!</line> <line start="1942" end="1972" speaker="secretcollect">Ohh, I don't know about this!</line> <line start="1973" end="1997" speaker="secretcollect">Collect, collect, collect!</line> <line start="1998" end="2070" speaker="wizard">Once I collect the final secret, the sweepstakes will be mine!</line> <line start="2071" end="2092" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Secret Collect. will be right back.</line> <line start="2093" end="2132" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">And stay tuned for the animated adventures of Thy Dungeonman!</line> <line start="2150" end="2177" speaker="getdagger">My cousin's coming to visit!</line> <line start="2178" end="2208" speaker="takedagger">Hiya, guys!</line> <line start="2211" end="2258" speaker="dennis">You get back heeeeeere!</line> <line start="2259" end="2312" speaker="strongbad">So to answer your question, Gunky, DON'T MAKE A WEB COMIC!</line> <line start="2313" end="2344" speaker="strongbad">Why can't you just make a...comic.</line> <line start="2345" end="2399" speaker="strongbad">Everyone knows that putting 'web' in front of words automatically makes them crappier.</line> <line start="2400" end="2455" speaker="strongbad">Just look what happened to 'pages,' and 'cams,' and 'logs.'</line> <line start="2456" end="2517" speaker="strongbad">And who could forget the fall of the mighty 'isode.'</line> <line start="2518" end="2552" speaker="strongbad">Ohh, so tragic.</line> <line start="2553" end="2585" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line> <line start="2598" end="2629" speaker="strongbad">OCEAN RIPPLE!</line> <line start="2630" end="2655" speaker="strongbad">FIND EDGES!</line> <line start="2656" end="2680" speaker="strongbad">SHARPEN MORE!</line> <line start="2681" end="2696" speaker="strongbad">Er... <span style="visibility:hidden">NUDGE.</span></line> <line start="2697" end="2719" speaker="strongbad">Er... NUDGE.</line> </transcript>
