Subtitles:sbemail139/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail139.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="59" speaker="strongbad">Hey everybody, it's a musical Strong Bad Email this week!</line>
    <line start="61" end="114" speaker="strongbad">"Da-doo doo doo Dear, Dear Strong Bad, oh I was wondering—"</line>
    <line start="115" end="129" speaker="strongbad">Ah, I can't keep this up.</line>
    <line start="133" end="189" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, I was wondering if you ever wanted to have somebody paint a portrait of  your greatness."</line>
    <line start="192" end="249" speaker="strongbad">"guess what, it's- Dylan Bragers (aka Coolio da Fabio) Texas"</line>
    <line start="253" end="287" speaker="strongbad">Guess what? Nobody calls you Coolio da Fabio</line>
    <line start="290" end="322" speaker="strongbad">(aka quit making up nicknames for yourself.)</line>
    <line start="328" end="398" speaker="strongbad">I'm just gonna call you Dealin' Burgers, which I assume doubles as an accurate job description.</line>
    <line start="403" end="459" speaker="strongbad">Moving onwardly, I suppose my greatness is worthy of portraiture.</line>
    <line start="464" end="503" speaker="strongbad">Perhaps one done by a Deutsch Master.</line>
    <line start="507" end="559" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The kind that are always getting stolen or vandalized by art bandits.</line>
    <line start="562" end="567" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noise</line>
    <line start="620" end="650" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Thanks, little buddy! Now it's worth something.</line>
    <line start="651" end="659" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="665" end="724" speaker="strongbad">Or what about one of those black and white ink portraits you see in all the rich-guy newspapers.</line>
    <line start="729" end="791" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Well, apparently they're not rich enough to afford any color. Or even solid lines!</line>
    <line start="796" end="854" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"> Just a bunch of dots and dashes. I look like Morse code.</line>
    <line start="859" end="929" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Dah dah dah dee dee dee... I a-am ho-o-olding a real-ly ol-d cel-l-l pho-o-one.</line>
    <line start="937" end="999" speaker="strongbad">Oops. No. Hey, I got it! A painting of such greatness demands only the finest materials.</line>
    <line start="1002" end="1060" speaker="strongbad">And what could be finer than black velvet in a cheap imitation wood frame?</line>
    <line start="1066" end="1080" speaker="strongbad">It would be showcased</line>
    <line start="1081" end="1115" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">in only the fanciest double-wide trailers.</line>
    <line start="1118" end="1186" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, and look! I finally caught that skunk. I been chasing after that little scamp for—</line>
    <line start="1187" end="1237" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Whoa! Is that a blacklight poster of a unicorn riding a snowmobile?!</line>
    <line start="1244" end="1273" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Now that is some esteemed company.</line>
    <line start="1281" end="1293" speaker="sfx">crash</line>
    <line start="1301" end="1321" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Thanks for breaking my moose lamp.</line>
    <line start="1328" end="1376" speaker="strongbad">Unfortunately, I don't know anybody with a useless Master of Fine Arts degree,</line>
    <line start="1381" end="1410" speaker="strongbad">so I might have to settle for something a bit more,</line>
    <line start="1414" end="1458" speaker="strongbad">how you say, made by Strong Mad or The Cheat.</line>
    <line start="1491" end="1571" speaker="strongbad">Very... uh, slobbery, The Cheat. This isn't quite what I had in mind when you said "sculpture."</line>
    <line start="1599" end="1631" speaker="strongbad">You're really just... goin' to town there, aren't ya?</line>
    <line start="1664" end="1696" speaker="strongbad">I'm gonna leave you two alone.</line>
    <line start="1748" end="1776" speaker="strongbad">Oh, nice work, Chef Boyardee!</line>
    <line start="1780" end="1835" speaker="strongbad">Like I couldn't have gone down to the kindergarten and hired a five-year-old to make me one of those.</line>
    <line start="1841" end="1898" speaker="strongbad">Except that sounds pretty creepy and I'd probably go to jail.</line>
    <line start="1902" end="1927" speaker="strongmad">I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!</line>
    <line start="1935" end="1998" speaker="strongbad">Well, thanks to my no-talent minions, it looks like a self-portrait is the only way to go.</line>
    <line start="2001" end="2060" speaker="strongbad">And I will render it in nothing less than the classic style of the True Masters.</line>
    <line start="2065" end="2136" speaker="strongbad">Ah, at last: A self-portrait that accurately depicts who I am, where I'm from,</line>
    <line start="2139" end="2173" speaker="strongbad">and my passing interest in falconry.</line>
    <line start="2192" end="2219" speaker="strongbad">Uh-oh. How do I get outta this thing?</line>
    <line start="2228" end="2244" speaker="strongbad">How did I get into this thing?</line>
    <line start="2255" end="2267" speaker="strongbad">Quack, quack.</line>
    <line start="2272" end="2303" speaker="strongbad">Why, Lord Quackingstick, how nice to see you.</line>
    <line start="2308" end="2338" speaker="strongbad">You don't happen to have a hacksaw in your pocket, do you?</line>
    <line start="2344" end="2356" speaker="strongbad">Quack, quack.</line>
    <line start="2360" end="2417" speaker="strongbad">Oh, too bad. Well, what about you, Princess Shellbra?</line>
    <line start="2427" end="2454" speaker="strongbad">Quack, quack.</line>
    <line start="2462" end="2531" speaker="strongbad">But of course. I love to serenade you anytime with my mystical keyswordtar.</line>
    <line start="2544" end="2596" speaker="strongbad">I mean it's not like I'm goin' anywhere... anytime soon.</line>
    <line start="2627" end="2665" speaker="strongbad">So that's when I realized I don't even need Lamaze classes.</line>
    <line start="2667" end="2712" speaker="homestar">Strong Bad, there's something different about you. Did you get a haircut?</line>
    <line start="2713" end="2756" speaker="strongbad">No, but I did get this new keyswordtar.</line>
    <line start="2763" end="2819" speaker="strongbad">Maow, maow, maoooooooow. Keyboard, keyboooooard.</line>
    <line start="2820" end="2872" speaker="strongbad">Maow, maow, maooooooooow. Fight some brigands!</line>
    <line start="2873" end="2960" speaker="strongbad">Maow Maow, Maoooow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-owwowwoww whammy-barrrrruh.</line>
</transcript>
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