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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for for kids. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail110.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="67" speaker="strongbad">Uh, let's see here... Make friends with Kerrek.</line>
    <line start="74" end="128" speaker="strongbad">What the!? Um... Buy Kerrek a cold one.</line>
    <line start="138" end="222" speaker="strongbad">WHAT?! Oh man... Stupid game! I guess I should do the thing... that I do.</line>
    <line start="236" end="276" speaker="strongbad">"Coolest guy ever henna henna henna Strong Bad,"</line>
    <line start="281" end="318" speaker="strongbad">Whoa! Three hennas! Must be an important one!</line>
    <line start="324" end="370" speaker="strongbad">"I've been wondering if you ever thought of making your own television series?"</line>
    <line start="373" end="389" speaker="strongbad">"Kids everywhere would love you"</line>
    <line start="392" end="410" speaker="strongbad">unnecessary comma</line>
    <line start="413" end="458" speaker="strongbad">"and your awesomeness. All is on, New Jersey."</line>
    <line start="461" end="518" speaker="strongbad">Television?!! Kids?!! Wait, do you people think I'm intended for children?</line>
    <line start="521" end="581" speaker="strongbad">Like, the littlest, tiniest babies? You know, they watch those shows on public television.</line>
    <line start="585" end="618" speaker="strongbad">I don't think I'm cut out for that sort of sugarjob.</line>
    <line start="622" end="702" speaker="strongbad">Okay, kids, we're gonna play "Where's The Cheat?". Can you say, "a-The Cheat"?</line>
    <line start="703" end="732">
        <sfx>kids say various things</sfx>
        <other voiceover="voiceover">The Cheat.</other>
        <other voiceover="voiceover">Christopher Columbus.</other>
    <line start="735" end="754" speaker="strongbad">Not good enough. F minus minus.</line>
    <line start="756" end="767" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line>
    <line start="771" end="801" speaker="strongbad">All right, dumb children. Find The Cheat!</line>
    <line start="804" end="828">
        <sfx>kids say various things again</sfx>
        <other voiceover="voiceover">He's over there.</other>
        <other voiceover="voiceover">Right there.</other>
    <line start="829" end="854">
        <strongbad>Um, no, he's behind the box.</strongbad>
        <sfx>kids continue to guess</sfx>
    <line start="862" end="913">
        <strongbad>No, look, he's not even behind the box, he's barely obscured by the box.</strongbad>
        <sfx>kids continue to guess</sfx>
    <line start="922" end="948" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.3">Look, The Cheat is behind the freaking box!!</line>
    <line start="956" end="1007" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.6">HE'S BEHIND THE BOX! I'LL KILL YA!! I'LL KILL ALL YOUR DOGS!!</line>
<line start="1009" end="1013" speaker="sfx">static</line>
    <line start="1018" end="1047" speaker="strongbad">So, you can see how that might be less than pleasant.</line>
    <line start="1051" end="1092" speaker="strongbad">What with all the letter writing and the angry mothers</line>
    <line start="1093" end="1142" speaker="strongbad">and the subsequent stringing me up in town square for all to see.</line>
    <line start="1147" end="1173" speaker="strongbad">But you know who's a natural for that sorta thing?</line>
    <line start="1181" end="1239" speaker="strongbad">None other than America's favorite blue midget Homestar: Homsar!</line>
    <line start="1347" end="1375" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Whaddaya know, Haddi-man?</line>
    <line start="1380" end="1424" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">We'll have an adventure, and several long trips.</line>
    <line start="1425" end="1474" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">We'll make some new friends and maybe get a bite to eat!</line>
    <line start="1475" end="1511" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">All 'cause we say...</line>
    <line start="1522" end="1554" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Whaddaya know, Haddi-man?</line>
    <line start="1557" end="1612" speaker="homsar">DaAaAaA! I'm a trendy tote bag!</line>
    <line start="1616" end="1660" speaker="sfx">fart noises</line>
    <line start="1670" end="1685" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">A "G"!</line>
    <line start="1689" end="1765" speaker="homsar">I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of real estate!</line>
    <line start="1769" end="1785" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">A "G"!</line>
    <line start="1792" end="1860" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.</line>
    <line start="1875" end="1963" speaker="homsar">That's a real popular song! Who wants to hear of it fifty times more?</line>
    <line start="1968" end="1999" speaker="other" sfx="sfx">shouts of approval from kids</line>
    <line start="2005" end="2070" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.</line>
    <line start="2092" end="2154" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.</line>
    <line start="2154" end="2169" sfx="sfx">static</line>
    <line start="2169" end="2234" speaker="strongbad">Good... gravy. I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap:</line>
    <line start="2243" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">HELD BACK.</line>
    <line start="2271" end="2304" speaker="strongbad">REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE.</line>
    <line start="2314" end="2354" speaker="strongbad">LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES.</line>
    <line start="2363" end="2399" speaker="strongbad">I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS.</line>
    <line start="2404" end="2433" speaker="strongbad">THE PAPER, PLEASE TAKE US HOME.</line>
    <line start="2440" end="2455" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>
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