HRWiki:Featured article for 2012, week 40

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"I've got more than two prablems."

Coach Z has been known to say that he has "more than two problems". This would appear to be the case, as he reveals a little more of the unhealthy, twisted, and bizarre aspects of himself in nearly every appearance he makes. The most obvious is his possibly fraudulent accent, but if one digs deeper, they will find a whole range of issues. These include a tendency to forget what's real and what's inside his head (which sometimes leads him to behave inappropriately around Marzipan), a Listerine addiction, and an obsession with butt patting. He also lacks some knowledge that many people would consider common, for example he doesn't know what a basketball is despite being a coach. He has made it clear a few times that he has financial problems, and at his best, he lives in the locker room. It has, however, gotten so bad that he's attempted to go to prison just to be assured three square meals a day. He is also known to have medical problems, such as athlete's foot and tongue, a bad back, and mysterious black fluids leaking from mysterious places. Many of his medical problems can be attributed to his extremely poor hygiene. (more...)

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