Disk 4 of 12 - FrienDendum

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Toon Category: Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12
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watch Disk 4 of 12 - FriendlyWare Disk 4 of 12 - World Games
"And you know I gotta mess with that stuff!"

In an addendum to the previous episode, with some help from fans and Strong Sad, Strong Bad finally gets Sea Battle to work by injecting his own style into the code.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Frank Bennedetto, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad

Places: Strong Bad's Computer Room, Ship, Strong Sad's Room

Date: Friday, May 14, 2021

Running Time: 6:17

Page Title: Toptoastin' It!

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{A live-action monitor comes to life, showing a screen reading "Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12". A disk reading noise plays. The word "Addendum" appears in white text.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Okay, here's a—

{Cut to the title screen reading "Welcome to FriendlyWare".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —quick addendum to my FriendlyWare playthrough.

{"FriendlyWare" is replaced with "FrienDendum" in the same block letters.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} A FrienDendum, let's call it.

{Cut to the Sea Battle game board: three levels consisting of an array of letters from A to X. An ASCII battleship is at the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} 'Member how "Sea Battle" kept throwing that illegal function call in 330?

{A depth charge fires from the ship onto quadrant N on level 2. The game reports an "Illegal function call in 330".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Thanks to some awesome commenters,

{Three YouTube comments appear on screen:}

The illegal call on line 330 is SOUND. I guess this version of basic doesn't support it. To fix, change the ending of line 330 to  CHR$(29)" ":RETURN
It is a matter of emulation speed. Pressing CTRL-F11 a few times to slow down DOSBox eliminates the error completely.

(I wrote this in another comment, but alas, it is buried.)
Dear Strong Bad: Try removing the SOUND commands from line 330. It might fix the error and you can replace it with your own DOOJ noises

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —we've got a way to fix it so we can play the game!

{Cut to the programs menu.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} First, we gotta try and play it, and let it break.

{Sea Battle prompts him for his first name.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This time, I'm gonna be Captain... {typing} Toptoast.

{The next screen asks if he wants instructions. He skips past it and loads the game board.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So apparently, even this Compy's processor is too fast for FriendlyWare. So we can either slow the processor down, or go into the code again and start messin' with stuff.

{Strong Bad appears from the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: And you know I gotta mess with that stuff!

{He goes back down.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So let's get it to throw that error,

{He selects level 3 and quadrant S. The game reports the illegal function call.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —and {typing} EDIT 330.

{Line 330 of the source code prints:}

330 POKE (X-1)*160+Y*2-1,W:POKE (X-1)*160+Y*2-2,V:NEXT:PRINT CHR$(29)"█":FOR X=20 TO 500 STEP 10:SOUND X*2+22,.0001:NEXT:SOUND X,0:RETURN

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Now all this "SOUND" biz is what's causing the problem, {begins removing the text between "CHR$(29)"█":" and "RETURN"} so we can just take it right out! Ooh, I also wanna make sure I keep my change to this variable over here,

{"*2-2" is highlighted with a light red box.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —so the depth charges do that weird colored stripey scorpion thing. {changes "Y*2-2" to "Y*2-1"} That was pretty awesome.

{Strong Bad has changed line 330 to:}

330 POKE (X-1)*160+Y*2-1,W:POKE (X-1)*160+Y*2-1,V:NEXT:PRINT CHR$(29)"█":RETURN

{He enters the word "RUN" and the game prompts for his first name.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Alright, I'm sticking with {typing} Toptoast. That's the kinda officer that demands respect from his soldiers, but can also tell a hilarious... lawnmower-ing anecdote at the Annual At-Ease Weekend!

{Strong Bad and Frank Bennedetto are seen wearing captain's hats and uniforms while aboard a ship at sea. The life preserver to the right reads "S.S. TOTALBELOW".}

STRONG BAD: Then I looked over the fence at my neighbor, and said, {points at Bennedetto} "Stephenson, I'll never mulch again!" Ha ha ha. Ha ha.

{Bennedetto starts popping some popcorn.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, at ease, at ease. Ha ha. At ease.

{Cut back to the game as the board loads again. A couple bars of 8-bit "Anchors Aweigh" play.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Okay, here we go. That sub is lurking somewhere in the depths below. Let's try... level 2-O!

{Strong Bad chooses level 2 and quadrant O. A series of ¥ characters with different-colored backgrounds prints in a vertical line above quadrant O. The letter O disappears from level 2.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Pssshhh! Missed. I think he's still in level 2. I'm gonna try a different spot. 2-J!

{Another line of colorful ¥ characters reaches the letter J, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Plssshhh!! Nothing. All right, even deeper. Let's go deeper! 3-N! Zzzzzzww-pshhwoow—

{A third line of ¥ characters reaches the letter N on level 3. The screen suddenly clears and shows an ASCII periscope view of the ship.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —Oh wait what's going on?! Is he shooting at us?!

{A short thick vertical line, representing an enemy torpedo, appears from the bottom of the screen and scrolls up to the ASCII ship. Several ° degrees symbols appear on the middle of the ship. Text at the bottom of the screen reads, "A Torpedo Broadside Captain TOPTOAST".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ohh, torpedo broadside! Is this, like, the sub's periscope view?

{Homestar Runner pops up from the bottom right corner.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Would it help if I stood here and went...?: {mimicking sonar noises} ...Boo... ...Boo... {goes back down}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} No that wouldn't help! Ugh, and what kinda sorry excuse for an explosion is that, anyway?

{A light red box appears around the cluster of degrees symbols.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Bunch of black rectangles with the degrees symbol in it? Looks like we're jumping back into code to inject more of my style into Sea Battle.

{He presses a key. The source code of the game scrolls for a while before ending on line 1000.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Alright, so first, we gotta find those graphics in there.

{Cut to Strong Sad reading a green book titled "Jung Adult Fiction".}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Hey, cobalt chloride!

STRONG SAD: Uh, do I even wanna know why you're calling me that?

{Cut back to the source code.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} No, shut up! What's the, like, Code Page 437 number {a box of ASCII characters appears} for the degrees symbol?

{Cut to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Ugh, it's 248!

{Cut back to the source code.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Okay, cool, we gotta find 248 in here. {types "LIST"} Just a quick scan... {mumbles as the source code scrolls again} There! Line 560! {types "LIST 560"}

{Line 560 of the source code prints:}

560 GOSUB 930:E=248:A=1674:POKE A-162,E:POKE A-150,E:FOR A1=1 TO 100:NEXT:SOUND50,.001:POKE A-10,E:POKE A-328,E:SOUND 50,0:FOR A1=1 TO 100:NEXT:SOUND 50,.001:POKE A,E:SOUND 50,0:FOR A1=1 TO 100:NEXT

{A box highlights "E=248" in the code.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} E equals 248. {types "EDIT 560"} 'Kay, so let's edit 560.

{Cut to Strong Sad, still reading his book.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Hey, cardamom pod!

STRONG SAD: Ooh, I'll take that one. What?

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} What's the code for—

{Cut to the source code.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —the little smiley face?

{Cut to Strong Sad, with his hand on his forehead.}

STRONG SAD: How many times do we have to go over this? {raises his fingers} It's 1 or 2 depending on which color you want!

{Cut to the source code.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Okay! We're gonna change it to 2! {moves the cursor onto the 2 in "E=248" and types "002"} Oh, oh, two! Yes! Alright, what else can I do to make these explosions more exciting? {lines 500-560 are now on screen} Let's {types "EDIT 550"} spruce up some of these torpedo messages.

{Line 550 prints:}

550 IF MISS THEN PRINT"Torpedo Missed Captain "CAPT$;:GOTO 580 ELSE PRINT"A Torpedo Broadside Captain "CAPT$;

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} "IF MISS THEN PRINT Torpedo..." {deletes "Missed"} Whiff— {types "WHI", overwriting the C in "Captain"} Oh no! Uh, how do I insert? It's just typing over! {continues typing} Uhh... Torpedo whiffa! Yyyyyyu?

{The torpedo-missed message now reads, "Torpedo WHIFFA YU".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} There we go! That's good, that's... descriptive. Alright, then let's go over here to... {moves the cursor to:} Torpedo... {replaces "Broadside Captain" with:} Broacheth! Right? If it broaches you, that's, that's like a direct hit.

{The torpedo-broadside message now reads, "A Torpedo BROACHETH".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I'm gonna make a few more modifications but I'll keep those as a surprise.

{The game prompts for his first name.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh man, this mod! {enters "TOPTOAST" for the name} The Toptoast mod for Sea Battle! {the instructions prompt appears} Gonna be the most-downloaded mod on the Internet!

{The Sea Battle game board loads but the ASCII battleship now has colorful decorations. The ship has "TOPTOAST PARTY BARGE 5000" written on the side with multicolored text ribbons along the length. An umbrella and lounge chair are in front of the bowside cannon, the sternside cannon has three balloons tied onto it, and there is a red boombox at the stern with two pairs of beamed musical notes above it. The 8-bit "Anchors Aweigh" plays again.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, gleefully} Look at that! I get such joy out of messing with other people's hard work. Alright, where is this jerk? He's down in the depths. 3-N!

{A line of ¥ characters reaches level 3, quadrant N. The N disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Psshhww! Nothing. 3-J! Nyaaagh-dooj!

{Another line of ¥ characters reaches quadrant J. The J disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} No. Uhh... 2-I!

{A third line of ¥ characters reaches level 2, quadrant I. The I disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ugh.

{Cut to the periscope view. The enemy torpedo scrolls to the regular ASCII ship and leaves a cluster of smiley faces. Text at the bottom reads, "A Torpedo BROACHETH TOPTOAST".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ohhhh, dang! Look at all the smiley faces!

{Back to the game board. The colorful ¥ lines have disappeared, and there is a small hole on the ship under "BARGE 5000".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh man! I'm such a good programmer! Number 1-P! Zzzzzh!

{A ¥ line reaches the P on level 1, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} A miss. Uh, 1-H. Kkkww-psssh!

{Another ¥ line reaches the H, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Nothing! 1-V? Nrrrwww!

{A third ¥ line reaches the V, which disappears. Back to the periscope. A red vertical line stretches from the bottom of the screen and reaches the ASCII ship, which now has a red box with "DOOJ2!!" in black text.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Look at that gaping "DOOJ2!!" in the hull!

{A red box appears at the bottom with "Torpedo WHIFFA YU TOPTOAST", also in black text.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Torpedo whiffa yu, Toptoast!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover, mimicking sonar noise} Boo...

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Stop it! Did that mean he missed? I almost forgot which one I made.

{Back to the game board.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Neither of them make any sense. A whiffa on a— and a broacha. {selects 3-O} Nyywwww-pssshhh.

{A ¥ line reaches the O on level 3, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ugh, where is this guy?

{Homestar pops up again.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't forget the Post-it, Strong Bad... {slowly fades away} Bad... Bad... Bad...

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The Post-it! Of course! 3-M! Nyawwwww-donk!

{Another ¥ line reaches the M, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Hey, what the crap?

{Homestar quickly fades back in.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Mind games! Peow! {leans away to the right of the screen}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Get outta here and let me find the stupid sub! 3-Q!

{A third ¥ line reaches the Q, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Nyaaaaww-nnh.

{Back to the periscope, with the stretching red line.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh no!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover, mimicking sonar noise} Boo...

{The cluster of smiley faces appears on the ship. A red box appears with "A Torpedo BROACHETH TOPTOAST" in black text.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Dohh, we got broacheth-ed by another flaming smiley face explosion!

{Back to the game board. The ship has a second hole underneath the word "PARTY".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ugh, this might be our last chance. 2-Q. Nyawwww-psshhhh!

{A ¥ line reaches the Q on level 2, which is replaced with a flashing red 8-pointed star.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh look, we found him! We got a piece of his sub! Or maybe a flashing red sea urchin! Where do we go to next? Uhh, let's try... 2-W. Nyawwwww-donk!

{Another ¥ line reaches the W, which disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh no! He's not there. Umm, maybe he's going diagonally. Then let's go down to 2-X. Nyawwwww-psshhhhh!

{A third ¥ line reaches the X, which is replaced with a white star before the periscope view reappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Yes! We found him oh no! Brace for impact!

{The stretching red line reaches the ship but no smiley faces appear. On the middle of the ship is written "DOOJ!!" on red text in a black box, next to "DOOJ2!!". "Torpedo WHIFFA YU TOPTOAST" appears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ugh. "Whiffa yu Toptoast." I'm so glad he whiffa-me'd Toptoast.

{Back to the game board. There are two red flashing stars at the impact points on level 2.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Alright, we only got one sea urchin left! Toptoast Party Barge, let it rip! 2-J!

{A ¥ line reaches the J on level 2, which changes it into a white box.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ppsssshhhhh!!

{8-bit computer music plays.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} We did iiiiittt! We sunk the submariiiiine!

{The screen rewards him with the following, which Strong Bad reads:}

___________________________________
__Congratulations Captain TOPTOAST_
___________________________________
__You've Accomplished Your Mission_
__And Used Only  18  Depth Charges_
__Your Promotion Is On The Way!!!!_
___________________________________
Would You Like To Play Again? <Y/N>
___________________________________

{Strong Bad reads the promotion line as "Your efficiency-with-ammunition-based promotion is on the way!!!!". He does not read the "Would You Like To Play Again? <Y/N>" prompt.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I gotta say, FriendlyWare, I'm impressed. Sea Battle's like a full-featured, playable game! You know, when it's not broken with errors and you go in and fix them, and then change the graphics and... text and stuff to be funny and amusing. Nice work!

{Cut to Strong Bad and Bennedetto aboard the ship at sea. The life preserver now reads, "TOPTOAST PARTY BARGE 5K".}

STRONG BAD: And I looked at our sonar and said, {points to Bennedetto} "Sea urchin? I can hardly see the sports page without my reading glasses!" Ha ha ha ha.

{Bennedetto pops more popcorn.}

STRONG BAD: Stand down, stand down, ha ha ha. {glares and points} Scuttle the ship.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Cobalt(II) chloride is a blue crystalline substance that is used in cobalt paper and invisible ink.
  • Cardamom pods are seeds of certain plants native throughout tropical and subtropical Asia used to make cardamom spice.
  • Scuttling a ship means to deliberately sink the ship by letting water flow into the hull.

[edit] Remarks

  • Frank Bennedetto appears to be alive once more after being memorialized in Strong Badia the Free.
  • In BASIC, pressing the Insert key before entering text will prevent overwriting it.

[edit] Inside References

  • This episode is a follow-up to Disk 4 of 12 - FriendlyWare, in which the Sea Battle game was broken due to an "illegal function call in 330".
    • Strong Bad references the previous episode by making the depth charges leave a trail of colored ¥ characters referred to as scorpions.
    • The life preserver on the first ship reads "S.S. TOTALBELOW", which is what Strong Bad modded the Sea Battle ship to say in the aforementioned episode.
    • Homestar brings up his "mind games" from when he got into Strong Bad's head while playing FriendlyWare's Match game.
  • Homestar offers to make fake sonar noises for the submarine, which he previously did in Date Nite.
  • Dooj is heard as one of the sound effects Strong Bad makes, and appears as "DOOJ!!" and "DOOJ2!!" in the ship damage he modded into the game.
  • Strong Bad previously dressed as a ship's captain in pizzaz and modeling, though now he has a uniform.

[edit] Real World References

[edit] External Links

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