User:Thesmokingmonkey
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The Smoking Monkey
Overcome with malaise and a general sense of ennui that he picked up as head of the Louvre's Département D'Étude De Primat, the Smoking Monkey was full of despair. He turned to cigarettes and beer, as he usually did, but these only served to cast him further into darkness.
Then, his friend Yves-Roland told him something wonderful.
"Avez-vous essayé le Coureur de Homestar?" Yves wanted to know.
"Mais non," said the Smoking Monkey, putting out his cigarette on a half-eaten croissant.
"Alors vous devez voir!" announced Yves, and together they journeyed to an internet cafe.
There, the Smoking Monkey spent the rest of the day and all of the next watching every single Homestar Runner cartoon - twice.
These days, when not sleeping at work, the Smoking Monkey fantasizes about new Homestar adventures and dreams of the day he, too, can venture to Free Country, USA, and have some Grumblecakes. For truly, the Smoking Monkey is a thief and a liar (though he has not as yet been sent to prison).
Favorites
FAVORITE CHARACTER: The King of Town
FAVORITE SBE-MAIL: crazy cartoon
FAVORITE AUTOMOTIVE PRODUCT: Butter-Da
LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER: Marzipan
LEAST FAVORITE TOON: "Une telle chose n'est pas possible!!"
OFTEN HEARD REMARKING: "Let's Do This Like Brutus!"
The Smoking Monkey Philosophy
The Smoking Monkey considers himself a minor player in the great and tempestuous world of the Homestar Runner Wiki, but he likes to help out however he can. Sometimes, this means fixing typos, or making what he considers aesthetic improvements to certain articles. He also puts a great deal of passion into STUFF voting and adding obscure information about even more obscure characters. And, despite some set-backs with his work, the Smoking Monkey takes it all in stride. He leans back, lights a flavorful cancer stick and inhales deeply, thinking about how it could possibly be that Eh! Steve could elude The Wheelchair for so long and deciding with fleeting regret that some things never change.
"Quel mystère, ce Coureur de Homestar, constamment au caprice des machinations mauvaises des Frères Forts - comment est-ce qu'il peut soit mettre en avant un visage si déterminé, et un athelete si formidable? Quelle chose merveilleuse à voir!"
A Public Service Message From the Smoking Monkey
The Smoking Monkey is very saddened by the death of great newsman and Canadian Peter Jennings, and acknowledges the lung cancer that took him was probably a result of his smoking. The Smoking Monkey would make it clear that although he enjoys a smoke, he is a monkey, and as such, does not encourage similar or imitative behavior in humans, or The Cheat. Furthermore, in light of becoming aware that the HRWiki is frequented by immature and malicious individuals who either attempt to destroy the hard work of others or try to start conflict, the Smoking Monkey would say this to them: "Knock it off, you knuckleheads."
This has been a public service message from the Smoking Monkey.
