The Baloneyman

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Toon Category: Shorts
watch Somber Vacation Strong Bad Sings
"Yeah... 'Shaped' like there's a bite taken out of it!"

The return of the Baloney Sammich truck!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Strong Bad, Devil Strong Bad, Angel Strong Bad, The King of Town, Coach Z

Places: The Field

Date: Monday, June 30, 2008

Running Time: 2:48

Page Title: Moist and Hot on a Hot, Moist Day!



{Strong Sad is standing in The Field, within a lemonade stand with a sign reading "LEMONADEDusty Novels";There are books in front of him, that have spiderwebs on them}

STRONG SAD: Nothin' beats the heat like a dusty, musty novel. Step right up and take home a tome.

{Zoom out to reveal Homestar Runner standing near the stand}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Sad, you've had some bad ideas in your time. But this is the best idea you've ever had! {A faint jingle is heard in the background} You'll make millions!

{The jingle gets louder}

BUBS: {offscreen} Ba-lo-ney!

{As he speaks and holds the last syllable, Bubs drives his Baloney Sammich Truck into Strong Sad's booth, knocking both of them off screen}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh! Its the baloneym'n! {Very happy} What should I get, what should I get?

{Cut to reveal a closer shot of Bubs and Homestar}

BUBS: Brand new for this season! I got the unrecognizable {Holds up a baloney sandwich shaped like a star-like character with a face and a two on its forehead} summer movie tie-in sammich!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Which movie is it from?

{Slight paused; Bubs takes a quick look at the sandwich and looks back at Homestar}

BUBS: The sequel!

{Homestar opens his mouth in surprise;A beep is heard, and the scene switches to a scene with Strong Bad and Bubs}

STRONG BAD: Whaddya got that'll cool me-cool me-cool me down?

BUBS: I got this baloney sammich {Holds up a sandwich shaped like a double popsicle} shaped like a popsicle!

STRONG BAD: I'll take it! {Bubs hands the sandwich to Strong Bad, and Strong Bad starts speaking to the viewers} That should be enough to fool my brain. {Strong Bad takes the sandwich and starts rubbing it on his head} Oh yeah, thats the stuff.

{The scene darkens, and an oval-like shape opens up in Strong Bad's head, revealing an "angel" and "devil" Strong Bad}

DEVIL STRONG BAD: Y'see this guy? Rubbin' a sammich on his head?

ANGEL STRONG BAD: I know, I know...just let it go. You gotta' pick your battles.

{Another beep is heard, and the scene switches again to a scene with Homestar and Bubs, only from inside the Baloney Sammich truck}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't decide between the one with the gumball in the center, or the one shaped like there's a bite taken out of it.

{Cut back to an outside view of the two's conversation}

BUBS: Yeah...shaped like there's a bite taken out of it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. Shaped like there's a bite taken out of it.

{Cut to a closer view of Bubs}

BUBS: {In a different tone} Yeah. Shaped {Comes down hard on the -ed part of the word} like there's a bite taken out of it.

{Cut to a close shot of Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. {angrily} Shaped like there's a bite taken out of it!

{Another close view of Bubs}

BUBS: Yea-

{Bubs is cut off; A beep is heard and the scene transitions into one with The King of Town and Bubs}

KING OF TOWN: I'll take one of everything-

BUBS: Mhmmm.

KING OF TOWN: And two of everything-

BUBS: Yep.

KING OF TOWN: Three of everything-

BUBS: Okay.

KING OF TOWN: Y'got any "Five of everything"?

BUBS: I got six of those!

KING OF TOWN: And hurry it up, {Cut to a wider shot of the two, The King of Town seems to be melting in the foreground} I'm melting over here!

{A beep is heard again, and the scene cuts to another with Homestar and Strong Bad; They are standing near the rear of the truck, with a bike behind them; Homestar has his hat on backwards, and Strong Bad has a yellow substance smeared on his forehead}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? You didn't hear man? Man, man. This kid, was doin' a flip on his 180. Busted his head, man. Busted his head.

{Cut to closer view of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, what are you talking about?

{Cut to Homestar}


{Cut to original view}

STRONG BAD: And did this "head-busting" happen to anyone in particular?

{Cut back to Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {eyelids lower} No, summer talk! The kind of stuff that you talk about in the summer!

{Cut to Strong Bad again; Cricket noises are heard}

{After a few seconds, noises stop;Cut back to the normal view of Homestar and Strong Bad}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} Kids getting hurt on bikes!


{Another beep is heard;Cut to a scene with Coach Z ordering from the truck}

COACH Z: I'll have a-

BUBS: I'm all out!

COACH Z: Well then what about the-

BUBS: I'm outta' that one too!

COACH Z: Then gimme the one-

BUBS: Nowhere to be found!

{Zoom in on Bubs}

BUBS: All I got left is this thirty-two dollar napkin! {Holds up a napkin}

COACH Z: Ooh! {Cut to a close view of Coach Z} I could really put that thing through its bases.

{A beep is heard, and the scene transitions again;Strong Bad is walking away from the truck, while Homestar is looking at Bubs}

BUBS: Well that's it for this summer, kids. I gotta' mosey on! I got an expired tag, expired license, and expired mayonnaise!

{Bubs turns to the front of the truck;Cut to a shot of the other side of the truck while it drives off}

BUBS: Ba-lo-ney!

{Homestar starts to run after the departing truck}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Farewell, baloneym'n! And may your wordly theme song serve as a reminder, that you probably have a really sketchy pass.

{Zoom out to reveal Strong Sad, who has tire-like markings on his body, laying next to his broken novel stand}

STRONG SAD: {in pain} Ohh...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Seriously Strong Sad, you'll make millions!

{A little bit of music is heard as the screen turns black, and the word "END" is written with each letter being a baloney sandwich; For a few seconds, Strong Sad can be heard groaning before the toon ends}

Fun Facts


  • A tome is a large or scholarly book.


  • The lower-left-most sandwich changes several times during the toon.
    • Initially, it is labeled "Dog Food" sandwich, but is shaped like a normal baloney sandwich.
    • Later on, this "Dog Food Sandwich" has bread in the shape of a dog bone.
    • During the scene where Homestar and Bubs discuss the "Taste Tested" sandwich, it appears in this location.

Inside References

External Links

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