Subtitles:sbemail173/en

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These are the English subtitles for the paper. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail173.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="17" end="88" speaker="strongbad">Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email and I'm about to reject y'all!</line>
<line start="89" end="104" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strongbad,"</line>
<line start="105" end="125" speaker="strongbad">"Is the Paper really quitting?"</line>
<line start="126" end="166" speaker="strongbad">"Could you tell me the best moment that you had with the paper?"</line>
<line start="168" end="223" speaker="strongbad">"Thank You, Kyle Williams, North Ogden,  Ewwwtah"</line>
<line start="224" end="271" speaker="strongbad">No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite.</line>
<line start="272" end="343" speaker="strongbad">Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!</line>
<line start="344" end="360" speaker="strongbad">OW!!!</line>
<line start="361" end="384" speaker="thepaper">distorted preeeow</line>
<line start="385" end="410"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">The Paper! No!!!</strongbad><!--<text>I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD</text>--></line>
<line start="411" end="466" speaker="strongbad">Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!</line>
<line start="467" end="484"><thepaper>distorted preeeow</thepaper><!--<text>wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy.</text>--></line>
<line start="485" end="503" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">We sure did, pal.</line>
<line start="504" end="575" speaker="strongbad">Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...</line>
<line start="593" end="615" speaker="lilstrongbad">Hurry up, Diaper Stripe!</line>
<line start="616" end="669" speaker="lilstrongbad">I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!</line>
<line start="670" end="685" speaker="thepaper">preeeeow</line>
<line start="686" end="700" speaker="lilstrongbad">Did you hear that?</line>
<line start="701" end="721"><lilstrongbad>It said "Preeeeow!"</lilstrongbad><!--<text>Preeeeow, world.</text>--></line>
<line start="722" end="770" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!</line>
<line start="771" end="800" speaker="homestar">Homestar had the ball at the top of the key.</line>
<line start="801" end="806" speaker="homestar">Dribble, dribble, shoot!</line>
<line start="807" end="822"><homestar>Dribble, dribble, shoot!</homestar><thepaper>preeeow</thepaper></line>
<line start="823" end="834" speaker="strongbad">Ooooh!</line>
<line start="835" end="859" speaker="strongbad">Get that weak mess outta here!</line>
<line start="860" end="930" speaker="homestar">Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on my team.</line>
<line start="931" end="965" speaker="homsar">AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa...</line>
<line start="966" end="983"><homsar volume="0.8">AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa...</homsar><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.</strongbad></line>
<line start="984" end="1012"><span style="visibility:hidden"><homsar volume="0.8">AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa...</homsar></span>
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.</strongbad></line>
<line start="1013" end="1019" speaker="thepaper">muted preeeeow</line>
<line start="1020" end="1038"><thepaper>muted preeeeow</thepaper><strongbad sfx="sfx">yells</strongbad></line>
<line start="1039" end="1048" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Or your preppy phase, for that matter.</line>
<line start="1049" end="1073"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">Or your preppy phase, for that matter.</strongbad><thepaper>preeeeow</thepaper></line>
<line start="1074" end="1122" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But you always watched out for your younger brothers and sisters.</line>
<line start="1123" end="1166" speaker="homestar">Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it!</line>
<line start="1167" end="1197" speaker="homestar">Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it!</line>
<line start="1198" end="1226" speaker="homestar">Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!</line>
<line start="1227" end="1244" speaker="homestar">Fresca! Surge!</line>
<line start="1245" end="1295" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?</line>
<line start="1296" end="1346" speaker="strongbad">How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!</line>
<line start="1347" end="1360"><thepaper>preeeow</thepaper><!--<text>Anybody need a lift?</text>--></line>
<line start="1361" end="1397" speaker="strongbad">The Paper! I thought you were still in Pyongyang!</line>
<line start="1398" end="1422" speaker="strongbad">Let's go! Jump!</line>
<line start="1423" end="1486" speaker="sfx">Population Tire theme plays</line>
<line start="1498" end="1533" speaker="strongbad">I can't believe this is really it!</line>
<line start="1534" end="1567"><thepaper>distorted preeeow</thepaper><!--<text>iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO.</text>--></line>
<line start="1568" end="1602" speaker="strongbad">Farewell, my stripèd friend.</line>
<line start="1630" end="1761" speaker="strongbad"><i>(singing)</i> And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!</line>
<line start="1762" end="1788" speaker="strongbad">How's it comin' up there, Bubs?</line>
<line start="1789" end="1809" speaker="bubs" voiceover="voiceover">I'm almost finished!</line>
<line start="1810" end="1887"><bubs voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">grunting</bubs><sfx>ratcheting</sfx></line>
<line start="1888" end="1896" speaker="bubs" voiceover="voiceover">There!</line>
<line start="1897" end="1942" speaker="strongbad">Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!</line>
<line start="1943" end="1987" speaker="newpaper">printing and shuffling noises</line>
<line start="1988" end="2038" speaker="strongbad">What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh?</line>
<line start="2039" end="2082" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx"><i>Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk</i></line>
<line start="2083" end="2108" speaker="strongbad">Doesn't quite roll off the tongue.</line>
<line start="2109" end="2158" speaker="strongbad">Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status.</line>
<line start="2159" end="2185" speaker="strongbad">So ya better get to impressin'!</line>
<line start="2186" end="2221" speaker="newpaper">more shuffling noises</line>
<line start="2222" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">Hm. Well... that's a start.</line>
<line start="2271" end="2317" speaker="homestar"><i>(singing)</i> The blood is rushing to my head...</line>
<line start="2318" end="2370" speaker="homestar">Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out...</line>
<line start="2376" end="2391" speaker="homestar">Dribble dribble, shoot!</line>
<line start="2392" end="2404" speaker="homestar">Dribble dribble, shoot shoot!</line>
<line start="2405" end="2421"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot!</homestar><coachz>Oooh, dang!</coachz></line>
<line start="2422" end="2435"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot shoot!</homestar><coachz sfx="sfx">claps</coachz></line>
<line start="2436" end="2450"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot!</homestar><coachz>Oooh, dang!</coachz></line>
<line start="2451" end="2464"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot shoot!</homestar><coachz sfx="sfx">claps</coachz></line>
<line start="2465" end="2475"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot!</homestar><coachz>Oooh, dang!</coachz><strongbad>Look!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2476" end="2495"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot shoot!</homestar><coachz sfx="sfx">claps</coachz><strongbad>We're not doing this again!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2496" end="2505"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot!</homestar><coachz>Oooh, dang!</coachz><strongbad>Look!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2506" end="2525"><homestar>Dribble dribble, shoot shoot!</homestar><coachz sfx="sfx">claps</coachz><strongbad>We're not doing this again!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2526" end="2545" speaker="strongbad">We're really not doing this again!</line>
<line start="2546" end="2563" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line>
</transcript>