Editing Hremail 7

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{{ashortsnav|toons/hremail7}}
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{{hrenav|7|3184|24}}
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{{ahrenav|7|nolink=true}}
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[[Image:EthicalAdvancementOfMelonade.png|thumb|"I am contractually unable to drink, talk about, or bathe in any other liquid!"]]
[[Image:EthicalAdvancementOfMelonade.png|thumb|"I am contractually unable to drink, talk about, or bathe in any other liquid!"]]
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In a retro styled [[Hremail]], Homestar shares the goodness of melonade, then explains to Strong Bad what the internet is all about.
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In a classic Hremail, Homestar shares the goodness of melonade, then explains to Strong Bad what the internet is all about.
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|The Cheat}}, {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Strong Sad}}
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|The Cheat}}, {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Strong Sad}}
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'''Places:''' [[Hremail Room]], [[Computer Room]] (Easter egg)
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'''Places:''' [[The Hremail Room]], [[Computer Room]] (Easter egg)
'''Date:''' Monday, May 4, 2009
'''Date:''' Monday, May 4, 2009
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==Transcript==
==Transcript==
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''{Theme music begins to play as the words "homestarrunner.com presents HREMAIL #7" gradually grow larger on the screen. "copyright 2001" appears in the bottom right corner. Cuts to Homestar Runner in his [[Homestar Runner Evolution|fifth design]] doing a dance in time to the music's hi-hat beats, which soon ends.}''
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''{Theme music begins to play as the words "homestarrunner.com presents HREMAIL #7" gradually grow larger on the screen. "Copyright 2001" appears in the bottom right corner. Cuts to Homestar Runner in his [[Homestar Runner Evolution|fifth design]] doing a dance in time to the music, which soon ends.}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hello everybody everybody! I'm Homestar Runner.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hello everybody everybody! I'm Homestar Runner.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Reading aloud.}'' Greetings Homestar Runner!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Reading aloud.}'' Greetings Homestar Runner!
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''{Zooms in on a piece of paper containing the email.}''
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''{Zooms in on a piece of paper containing the e-mail.}''
<blockquote class="email" style="background:#FFF;color:#000">  
<blockquote class="email" style="background:#FFF;color:#000">  
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''{Homestar Runner opens the packet and pours the powder into his mouth.  He then begins to cough, his eyes growing increasingly smaller until his throat visibly tightens.}''
''{Homestar Runner opens the packet and pours the powder into his mouth.  He then begins to cough, his eyes growing increasingly smaller until his throat visibly tightens.}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gasping}'' Huuuh{{--}} that's good stuff!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gasping}'' Huuuh&mdash; that's good stuff!
''{Scene switches to show Strong Bad and The Cheat walking as music plays in the background.}''
''{Scene switches to show Strong Bad and The Cheat walking as music plays in the background.}''
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''{Cuts to show Strong Sad waving his hand in the air.}''
''{Cuts to show Strong Sad waving his hand in the air.}''
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'''STRONG SAD:''' No, Homestar's right. Electronic mail ''{the screen goes black and hypnotic as he continues, his voice becoming increasingly echoed}'' is transmitted from one computer to another, via a web of computers connected to phone line{{--}}
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'''STRONG SAD:''' No, Homestar's right. Electronic mail ''{the screen goes black and hypnotic as he continues, his voice becoming increasingly echoed}'' is transmitted from one computer to another, via a web of computers connected to phone line&mdash;
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{screen suddenly goes back to normal}'' Hush down, crap for mouth!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{screen suddenly goes back to normal}'' Hush down, crap for mouth!
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'''STRONG SAD:''' When you dial up, it sounds like this!   
'''STRONG SAD:''' When you dial up, it sounds like this!   
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''{Strong Sad starts imitating modem [[Wikipedia:handshaking|handshaking]] noises. Scene cuts to Strong Bad and The Cheat, then to Homestar Runner, who furrows his brow, then back to Strong Sad as he finishes. He slowly looks up. Then it cuts back to Strong Bad.}''
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''{Strong Sad starts imitating modem handshaking noises. Scene cuts to Strong Bad and The Cheat, then to Homestar Runner, who furrows his brow, then back to Strong Sad as he finishes. He slowly looks up. Then it cuts back to Strong Bad.}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' Let me get this straight. You guys are saying that my adoring fans could be sending me piles of what-mails right now, and I'm not getting them?
'''STRONG BAD:''' Let me get this straight. You guys are saying that my adoring fans could be sending me piles of what-mails right now, and I'm not getting them?
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''{Switches to a closeup of Strong Bad's mouth.}''
''{Switches to a closeup of Strong Bad's mouth.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Eeeeemails? ''{his mouth begins to wobble as he tries pronouncing the word}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Eeeee-mails? ''{his mouth begins to wobble as he tries pronouncing the word}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, you need an email address first. I can let you borrow strongbad@homestarrunner.com until you get your own domain.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, you need an email address first. I can let you borrow strongbad@homestarrunner.com until you get your own domain.
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*:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''
*:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''
*:''{zooms out to show the whole room.}''
*:''{zooms out to show the whole room.}''
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*:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{waving arms frantically}'' I have to type something?? I thought this was a computer! ''{holding up his right arm}'' How am ''I'' supposed to type with{{--}}
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*:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{waving arms frantically}'' I have to type something?? I thought this was a computer! ''{holding up his right arm}'' How am ''I'' supposed to type with&mdash;
*:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{cuts him off, making exclamatory The Cheat noises}''
*:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{cuts him off, making exclamatory The Cheat noises}''
*:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, yeah... smart thinking! Now go call Abdi and make him send me some fanmail!
*:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, yeah... smart thinking! Now go call Abdi and make him send me some fanmail!
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==Fun Facts==
==Fun Facts==
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===Explanations===
 
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*Many athletes endorse a brand of sports drink, or other product, and are usually seen only with that product, as it is a contractual obligation of them to do so.
 
===Remarks===
===Remarks===
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*The [[Strong Bad Email]] backstory presented in this [[Hremail]] is an additive example of {{w|retroactive continuity}}.
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*The Strong Bad Email backstory presented in this hremail is an additive example of [[Wikipedia:retcon|retroactive continuity]].
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**Several elements of this "new" history contradict previous sbemails, which showed Strong Bad using the Tandy or other computers before 2001; however it should be noted that [[History According to Strong Bad|Strong Bad's version of history]] may not always be accurate.
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*Clicking the contrast knobs on the [[Tandy 400]] has no effect.
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***[[50 emails]] shows Homestar having difficulty recognizing a computer, much less using it to properly respond to emails.
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**They can also be clicked through The Cheat's head in the Easter egg, but still have no effect.
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***[[no loafing]] features a scene in the year [[1987]], with Strong Bad already checking emails on the Tandy.
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*The short uses the old loading screen.
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***[[lady...ing]] showed Strong Bad checking his first email, circa [[Marshmallow's Last Stand|early 2000]], from "Fabrosi" rather than [[Abdi Larue|"Abdi"]].
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*Although there were 40 "Tandy Era" emails, only 39<!-- with retirement --> emails were actually answered on the Tandy. [[the bird]] and [[weird dream]] were answered using Pom Pom's Pom-Pilot and The Cheat's computer, respectively. Strong Bad replaced Tandy with the [[Compy 386]] in [[invisibility]], the 41st email. Finally, Strong Bad answered one last email on the Tandy in [[retirement]] (in 2006).
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***[[candy product]] shows Strong Bad using the Tandy on {{w|Year 2000 problem|December 31, 1999}}. As this was a scene from a commercial for Strong Bad's [[SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar]], it could alternatively be a later-day recreation.
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*In the Easter Egg, Strong Bad suggests that Abdi was the first to send e-mails, ignoring the fact, if Strong Bad is to be believed, that the first e-mail was from Fabrosi in [[lady...ing]].
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***[[looking old]] refers to Strong Bad's "eStrong Vague Online Investments" company from the late 1990s.
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*The toon is set in 2001, but all of the characters use designs from before then.
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***[[the paper]] showed [[Li'l Strong Bad]] using a computer to print out a program he wrote, demonstrating he was familiar with computers as a child.
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*Aside from Homestar's voice, the voices in the toon do not match the voices each character had in 2001, but rather are the voices they had at the time this toon was released.  
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*Although this toon is designed as if it were set in 2001, characters use earlier designs (circa [[A Jumping Jack Contest]] from 2000):
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**Homestar Runner appears [[Homestar Runner Evolution|in his fifth design, rather than his seventh]].
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**Strong Bad is illustrated [[Strong Bad Evolution|with his fourth design instead of his sixth]]. His voice also sounds closer to its then-modern version than the heavier accent from 2001.
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**The Cheat is drawn in [[The Cheat Evolution|his fourth design, not his sixth or seventh]].
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**Strong Sad is in [[Strong Sad Evolution|his second design, not his fourth]].
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*Homestar is said to have a contract forbidding him to "drink, talk about, or bathe in" any drink or liquid than Melonade until "March of 2003". This likely a reference to [[caper]] (released on March 31, 2003) where Homestar is seen holding a mug full of hot coffee.
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**Prior to when this email was set, and therefore presumably prior to the contract being signed, 2000's [[Theme Song Video]] featured Homestar drinking a [[Cold One]].
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**Homestar was mentioned to have [[Mountain Dew]] in [[techno]] (released on October 7, 2002), although he is not seen with it or drinking it.
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**Homestar was also seen [[showering]] in water in [[Main Page 14]] (released mid-2001); if the contract was signed after said Main Page's release, or if the contract allowed for ''showering'' as being distinct from ''bathing'', Homestar did not violate its terms.
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*The Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench cans have no mention of being or containing Melonade on them.
*The Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench cans have no mention of being or containing Melonade on them.
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*Though he's not seen with it, Homestar ''was'' mentioned to have [[Mountain Dew]] in [[techno]], before the March 2003 contract expired.
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*In [[email thunder]], Homestar having his own email show seemed to be a surprise to Strong Bad, but if he started his own email show after seeing Homestar's in progress as implied here, he shouldn't have been surprised when he found out about [[hremails]] in email thunder.
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**But it is equally valid to speculate that Strong Bad may have simply ''forgot'' that Homestar Runner had his own emails. After all, according to strong bad who claims to have a very ''unphotographic memory'', it is resonable to assume he would have forgot.
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*In this email, Homestar has a lip-sync graphic for the [[Wikipedia:Voiceless labiodental fricative|'f' sound]], which his modern counterpart lacks.
*The Tandy appears to be on even though it isn't plugged in.
*The Tandy appears to be on even though it isn't plugged in.
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*Homestar's remark that Strong Bad checking "more than forty emails" would be unlikely refers to the fact that there were 40 [[Strong Bad Email#Tandy 400 Era|"Tandy Era" emails]].
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*This toon conflicts with the continuity in [[candy product]]. During one scene, Strong Bad is adjusting the date of the [[Tandy 400]] on the last day of 1999. But according to Hremail #7, Strong Bad acquired the Tandy in 2001.
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**Although there were 40 individual Strong Bad Email toons in that era, only 38 of them showed emails being answered on the Tandy: [[the bird]] was answered using [[Pom Pom]]'s [[Pom Pilot]], and [[weird dream]] used [[Tangerine Dreams|The Cheat's computer]]
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**However, it should be pointed out that this scene forms part of a commercial for Strong Bad's [[SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar]], which wasn't invented until 2006. Furthermore, Strong Bad is seen holding the candy bar, implying that although this scene is set in 1999, it was actually recreated in the year 2006.
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**If counting the toons that answered more than one email ([[spring cleaning]] and [[e-mail birds]]) and toons returning to the Tandy after its replacement ([[retirement]], [[greeting cards]]), Strong Bad did end up answering over 40 emails on the Tandy.
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**Strong Bad was also seen with the Tandy in the email [[no loafing]], in the year [[1987]].
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*Strong Bad had trouble saying the word "e-mail" in Hremail #7 and seemed ignorant of the Internet. But in [[looking old]], Strong Bad talked about "eStrong Vague Online Investments" that was sold in the late 1990s.
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*Homestar Runner was unable to recognize a computer in [[50 emails]], despite Hremail 7 implying he understood technology in 2001.
<!--Strong Sad said that Strong Bad COULD get a Tandy 400 at a garage sale for $15, not that he DID get it that way. -->
<!--Strong Sad said that Strong Bad COULD get a Tandy 400 at a garage sale for $15, not that he DID get it that way. -->
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*Strong Bad refers to Homestar with the phrases "[[crap]] for ear" and "crap for nose" even though [[Lack of Visible Body Parts|he does not have a visible ear or nose]].
 
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*In this email, Homestar has a lip-sync graphic for the [[Wikipedia:Voiceless labiodental fricative|'f' sound]], which his modern counterpart lacks.
 
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*Clicking the contrast knobs on the [[Tandy 400]] has no effect.
 
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**They can also be clicked through The Cheat's head in the Easter egg, but still have no effect.
 
===Goofs===
===Goofs===
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===Inside References===
===Inside References===
*Homestar talks about [[Melonade]].  One of the flavors is [[smoking|Butt 1]].
*Homestar talks about [[Melonade]].  One of the flavors is [[smoking|Butt 1]].
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*Strong Bad calling Homestar "Crap for Nose" and "Crap for Ear" is similar to when he refers to someone as  "crap [[for brains]]".
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*Strong Bad refers to Homestar with the phrases "[[crap]] for ear" and "crap for nose", even though [[Lack of Visible Body Parts|he does not have a visible ear or nose]].
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*In the Easter egg, Strong Bad instructs The Cheat to call up [[Abdi LaRue]], the sender of [[some kinda robot|the first Strong Bad Email]].
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**The intent is similar to when Strong Bad refers to someone as  "crap [[for brains]]".
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*In the Easter egg, Strong Bad instructs The Cheat to call up [[Abdi]], the sender of [[some kinda robot|the first Strong Bad Email]].
*In the Easter egg, [[The Cheat]] apparently tells Strong Bad [[How Do You Type With Boxing Gloves On?|how to type with boxing gloves on]].
*In the Easter egg, [[The Cheat]] apparently tells Strong Bad [[How Do You Type With Boxing Gloves On?|how to type with boxing gloves on]].
*Strong Bad provides an explanation of why he never obtained his own domain name in [[April Fool 09]].
*Strong Bad provides an explanation of why he never obtained his own domain name in [[April Fool 09]].
*Strong Bad's comments about answering emails from fans in humorous fashion mirrors [[email thunder]], where Homestar Runner states that he "answers emails from fans with humorous results".
*Strong Bad's comments about answering emails from fans in humorous fashion mirrors [[email thunder]], where Homestar Runner states that he "answers emails from fans with humorous results".
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*Homestar greets "everybody everybody", a reference to the [[Everybody Everybody#The song|intro song]].
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*Homestar greets "everybody everybody", a reference to the [[Intro]].
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*The fact that Homestar says "[[That's good stuff]]" even when he obviously seems to be in distress reflects a similar scene in [[environment]].
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*The fact that Homestar says "That's good stuff" even when he obviously seems to be in distress reflects a similar scene in [[environment]].
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*This short uses a loading screen similar to that of [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]].
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===Real-World References===
===Real-World References===
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*Many athletes endorse a brand of sports drink, or other product, and are usually seen only with that product, as it is a contractual obligation of them to do so.
*The Melonade flavor ''Taco Annihilation'' could be a reference to the 1997 PC game [[Wikipedia:Total Annihilation|Total Annihilation]].
*The Melonade flavor ''Taco Annihilation'' could be a reference to the 1997 PC game [[Wikipedia:Total Annihilation|Total Annihilation]].
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*The flavor ''Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench'' may be a reference to a [http://www.myspace.com/dietcokewithbacon 2006 April Fool's joke], which included a phony press release for a new bacon-flavored [[wikipedia:Diet Coke|Diet Coke]].
*Homestar's phrase "Apply directly to the esophagus" is a play on the slogan "Apply directly to the forehead" for the product [[Wikipedia:HeadOn|HeadOn]].
*Homestar's phrase "Apply directly to the esophagus" is a play on the slogan "Apply directly to the forehead" for the product [[Wikipedia:HeadOn|HeadOn]].
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*When Homestar sings that he's going to take a Melonade bath, the melody he uses is the same as the Post  "[[Wikipedia:Golden Crisp|Golden Crisp]]" Cereal jingle (i.e.: "Can't get enough of that Golden Crisp; it's got the crunch with punch!").
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*When Homestar sings that he's going to take a [[Melonade]] bath, the melody he uses is the same as the Post  "[[Wikipedia:Golden_Crisp|Golden Crisp]]" Cereal jingle (i.e.: "Can't get enough of that Golden Crisp; it's got the crunch with punch!").
==External Links==
==External Links==
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{{nextlinks|toons/hremail7|15304|old=hremail7}}
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{{extlinks|hremail7|15304}}
{{Hremail}}
{{Hremail}}
[[Category:Hremail]]
[[Category:Hremail]]
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[[Category:Shorts]]
 

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