Editing Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)

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:''{over the course of singing the song, Strong Bad walks through the house, starting asleep on the couch in the basement, and finishing upstairs sitting in front of the Lappy in the computer room}''
:''{over the course of singing the song, Strong Bad walks through the house, starting asleep on the couch in the basement, and finishing upstairs sitting in front of the Lappy in the computer room}''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:'''  Rhino...  Rhino Feeder...''{vigorous head shaking noise}'' wuh oh! I was dreaming about... muffins.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:'''  Rhino...  Rhino Feeder... oh, ''{vigorous head shaking noise}'' I was dreaming about... muffins.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night— ow! ''{kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night— ow! ''{kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''
Line 21: Line 21:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Please, stop trying, to handle my style. 'Cause you can't, no you can't, ''{grunts}'' handle my style.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Please, stop trying, to handle my style. 'Cause you can't, no you can't, ''{grunts}'' handle my style.
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously, quit trying to handle my style. Unless you're a lady... ''{Throws box of cereal at Strong Sad}''
+
:''{Throws box of cereal at Strong Sad}''
-
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously, quit trying to handle my style. Unless you are a lady, then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice of my styyyyyle!
-
 
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice of my styyyyyle!
+
:''{[[Strong Bad Email|Strong Bad checks his email]]}''
:''{[[Strong Bad Email|Strong Bad checks his email]]}''
-
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email! I'm gonna check my whaaaat?
 
-
 
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
-
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
+
<div>Subject: Beating Homestar?</div>
-
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar<br>
+
Dear Strong Bad,<br/>
-
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are<br>
+
If you hate Homestar why dont you beat the snot out of him?<br>
-
you chicken or something?<br/>
+
Are you chicken or something?<br/>
Confused,<br/>
Confused,<br/>
-
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
+
Ennie M. Frenchtown, CA<br/>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed"''}
+
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed", reads 'CA' like he did in [[some kinda robot]]''}
-
:'''STRONG BAD''': ''{typing}'' First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", ''{with a heavy french accent}'' comprende-vous cordon bleu? ''{clears screen, talking normally}'' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's ''obviously'' got a LOT of gunk up there. I could handle beating tar, the stuffing, or the ''{holds the 'e', but not typed}'' into next week out of him though. ''{steps back from the Lappy}'' I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's Track, running in place or something.
+
:'''STRONG BAD''': {typing} First off, I don't think a Frenchie like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone chicken, ''{with a heavy french accent}'' Comprendey-vou Cordon Bleu? ''{clears screen, talking normally}'' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't wan't to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar, I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? ''{types "," instead of "?"}'' He's ''obviously'' got a LOT of gunk up there. I could handle beating tar, the stuffing, or the ''{holds the 'e', but not typed}'' into next week out of him though. ''{steps back from the Lappy}'' I bet I could find Homestar at Coach Z's Track, running in place or something.
==Basement==
==Basement==
Line 57: Line 52:
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity&mdash; and the humor&mdash; and the original comedy television writing!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity&mdash; and the humor&mdash; and the original comedy television writing!
-
:'''When Homestar is present'''
+
:'''When Homestar is present, first time'''
-
::''First time only''
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't touch that dial!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Don't touch that dial!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why not?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why not?
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Look!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Have you seen this, um, man? He was last seen streaking out of Coach Z's locker room, naked as the day he was born.
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Have you seen this, um, man? He was last seen streaking out of Coach Z's locker room, naked as the day he was born.
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{on television}'' It all happened so fast... one minute I was definitely not just standing around by myself, and the next thing I knew there was this high-pitched scream!
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{on television}'' It all happened so fast... one minute I was definitely not just standing around by myself, and the next thing I knew there was this high-pitched scream!
Line 69: Line 63:
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' Studying is fun!
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' Studying is fun!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' In the meantime&mdash; ''{Homestar and Strong Bad talk over him}''  if you happen to come across this lewd, nude dude, do not, we repeat, do not approach him, as he may be armed and dangerous. Okay. Maybe not armed.
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' In the meantime&mdash; ''{Homestar and Strong Bad talk over him}''  if you happen to come across this lewd, nude dude, do not, we repeat, do not approach him, as he may be armed and dangerous. Okay. Maybe not armed.
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' See? I'll never be able to show my face in public as long as I've got a criminal record at the King of Town's Hall of Records!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' See? I'll never be able to show my face in public as long as I've got a criminal record at the King of Town's Hall of Records!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
-
::{{short hr}}
+
:'''When Homestar is present, each time thereafter'''
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-nationwide manhunt!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-natiowide manhunt!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, no.
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Yeah, no.
-
:'''After Homestar has left the couch, but still inhabits the house elsewhere'''
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' There's nothing I'd rather do than max and relax in front of the TV... but I'll ''never'' be able to enjoy it as long as Homestar's still moping around my house like a wussier version of Strong Sad.
+
-
::'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{from upstairs}'' I heard that!
+
:'''During Party'''
:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.
Line 85: Line 76:
==== Criminal Record &rarr; Homestar ====
==== Criminal Record &rarr; Homestar ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, take a look at this!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, take a look at this!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What is it?
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' What is it?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the one and only copy of your criminal record, stolen by awesome Strong Bad out from under the King of Town's butter stained nose.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the one and only copy of your criminal record, stolen by awesome Strong Bad out from under the King of Town's butter stained nose.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I don't believe it! Awesome Strong Bad could never pull that off!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' I don't believe it! Awesome Strong Bad could never pull that off!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If you don't believe me, then believe the all-knowing wisdom of local television news! ''{turns to watch the television}''  
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If you don't believe me, then believe the all-knowing wisdom of local television news! ''{turns to watch the television}''  
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' &mdash;cats wearing clown costumes really ''do'' make a difference. Thanks for that important story, Mindi. In other news, citizens were shocked today when the King of Town's Hall of Records was brazenly burglarized by an unknown masked assailant.
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' &mdash;cats wearing clown costumes really ''do'' make a difference. Thanks for that important story, Mindi. In other news, citizens were shocked today when the King of Town's Hall of Records was brazenly burglarized by an unknown masked assailant.
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' He took everything! Everything! Cleaned the place out!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' He took everything! Everything! Cleaned the place out!
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' Without the criminal records, the King admits that he has no institutional memory of any crimes being committed... anywhere... ever.
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' Without the criminal records, the King admits that he has no institutional memory of any crimes being committed... anywhere... ever.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yay! I'm free to show my face in in public again! And maybe the rest of me too!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Yay! I'm free to show my face in in public again! And maybe the rest of me too!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You nasty. ''{Homestar leaves}'' Finally, the TV belongs to its one true master again!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You nasty. ''{Homestar leaves}'' Finally, the TV belongs to its one true master again!
====Homestar &rarr; Television====
====Homestar &rarr; Television====
-
:''First time only''
+
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dude, it's a public nudity charge. I've done more scandalous things while buying a pair of brown and tan socks.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dude, it's a public nudity charge. I've done more scandalous things while buying a pair of brown and tan socks.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look, there I am again! Oh the shame!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Look, there I am again! Oh the shame!
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, just to be sure, there's no way I'm gonna talk you off of this couch, right?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, just to be sure, there's no way I'm gonna talk you off of this couch, right?
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I'm no longer a wanted criminal.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Not until I'm no longer a wanted criminal.
== Computer Room ==
== Computer Room ==
Line 113: Line 104:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
=== Calendar ===
=== Calendar ===
-
:'''Before visiting the Track'''
+
:'''Start of game'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
Line 139: Line 130:
==Homestar Runner==
==Homestar Runner==
-
:'''In any of the three rooms Homestar inhabits'''
 
===Homestar &rarr; Homestar===
===Homestar &rarr; Homestar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What about Strong Sad?
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' What about Strong Sad?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm not a crybaby, I'm tormented!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm not a crybaby, I'm tormented!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, there's room for ''one'' crybaby in the House of Strong, and that position's been filled. Out you go!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, there's room for ''one'' crybaby in the House of Strong, and that position's been filled. Out you go!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way. I'm not leaving until my life is back to the wonderful way it used to be.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' No way. I'm not leaving until my life is back to the wonderful way it used to be.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess what, Homestar! Everything's all better again!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess what, Homestar! Everything's all better again!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Prove it.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Prove it.
=== When all Homestars have left the building ===
=== When all Homestars have left the building ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, do you hear that? That, my hot ladies, was the sweet sound of Homestar's tuchus being surgically removed from my house. Ya hear that, house? It's just you and me.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, do you hear that? That, my hot ladies, was the sweet sound of Homestar's tuchus being surgically removed from my house. Ya hear that, house? It's just you and me.
Line 159: Line 149:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{coming downstairs}'' I'll deny you oxygen to your lungs if you don't get outta here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{coming downstairs}'' I'll deny you oxygen to your lungs if you don't get outta here!
===When Strong Bad walks near===
===When Strong Bad walks near===
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh the pain...
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh the pain...
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Does despair have one ''G'', or two?
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Does despair have one ''G'', or two?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hi Strong Bad... ''{sighs}''
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh hi Strong Bad... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs}''
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{sighs}''
 +
 
 +
 
==Kitchen==
==Kitchen==
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=== Bubs ===
=== Bubs ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
==== Bubs &rarr; Bubs ====
==== Bubs &rarr; Bubs ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
-
:''{cut to the Concession Stand. The Poopsmith is behind the counter.}''
+
:''{cut to the concession stand, The Poopsmith inside}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
Line 206: Line 199:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.
 +
 +
=== Candy &rarr; Homestar ===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' What?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}''  Marzipan...
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
 +
 +
=== Cell Phone &rarr; Homestar ===
 +
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
 +
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' The candy worked? Hooray!  Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Well, I'll just go then.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!
=== Chef's Hat ===
=== Chef's Hat ===
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===Dead Plant===
===Dead Plant===
-
:''First time only''
+
:''{first time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's not what the note said!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's not what the note said!
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{each time thereafter}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.
Line 227: Line 241:
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
 +
::{{short hr}}
 +
::''{not at start of game}''
 +
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
 +
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What food? The fridge was empty when I got here!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' What food? The fridge was empty when I got here!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Yeah.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Yeah.
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, you plan on staying here, you'll have to take your turn stocking the fridge.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, you plan on staying here, you'll have to take your turn stocking the fridge.
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No problem, old chum! Whose turn is it now?
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' No problem, old chum! Whose turn is it now?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Strong Bad's!
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Strong Bad's!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You shut up!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You shut up!
Line 240: Line 258:
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.
-
:'''In Extended Play'''
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
 
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.
-
 
-
===Homestar Runner===
 
-
 
-
=== Candy &rarr; Homestar ===
 
-
:''First time only''
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
 
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
 
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}''  Marzipan...
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
 
-
:{{short hr}}
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sure you don't want any of this (and I use the term loosely) candy?
 
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sadly}'' No, the smell of organic packing peanuts reminds me of... Marzipan... wah-huh-hah!
 
-
 
-
=== Cell Phone &rarr; Homestar ===
 
-
:'''Before giving the candy to Marzipan'''
 
-
::''First time only''
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not giving up this object of enormous pranking potential until it's absolutely necessary.
 
-
::{{short hr}}
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Not yet, my pretty.
 
-
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
 
-
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The candy worked? Hooray!  Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I'll just go then.
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!
 
-
 
-
==== Homestar &rarr; Chef's Hat ====
 
-
:''First time only''
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
 
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sounds like a plan. How's it going?
 
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not so good. Marzipan's vegan and most of the food in here contains meat, milk, milky meat, or ...meaty milk?
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
 
-
:{{short hr}}
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
 
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.
 
=== Jela-ton&trade; ===
=== Jela-ton&trade; ===
Line 294: Line 268:
=== The King of Town ===
=== The King of Town ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
Line 300: Line 275:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
 +
 +
=== Homestar &rarr; Chef's Hat ===
 +
:''{first time}''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sounds like a plan. How's it going?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Not so good. Marzipan's vegan and most of the food in here contains meat, milk, milky meat, or ...meaty milk?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{each time thereafter}''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.
===Microwave===
===Microwave===
Line 305: Line 293:
===Outside===
===Outside===
-
:'''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.'''
+
:''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.
Line 311: Line 299:
==Laundry Room==
==Laundry Room==
-
===Washer and Dryer===
+
===Washer/Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
-
'''Dryer only, when The Cheat is inside'''
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How you doing in there, The Cheat?
 
-
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh! <!-- nb. in-game subtitles -->
 
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?
 
===The Cheat===
===The Cheat===
Line 328: Line 312:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, turn around.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, turn around.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Wii? <!-- nb. in-game subtitles -->
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Wii? <!-- nb. in-game subtitles -->
 +
 +
===Dryer with The Cheat Inside===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How you doing in there, The Cheat?
 +
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh! <!-- nb. in-game subtitles -->
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?
===Pennants===
===Pennants===
Line 339: Line 328:
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this is a really dangerous idea. Someone could trip on this poorly-placed banana peel and go flying right out the window. Yup, sure is dangeous...
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this is a really dangerous idea. Someone could trip on this poorly-placed banana peel and go flying right out the window. Yup, sure is dangeous...
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Whoops!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!  
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!  
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
Line 354: Line 343:
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Whoops! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!
Line 361: Line 350:
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I love the way I think!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I love the way I think!
::''{each slips on the banana peel in turn at falls out the window}''
::''{each slips on the banana peel in turn at falls out the window}''
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoa!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Whoa!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Wh-Whoa!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Wh-Whoa!
::'''BUBS:''' Hey&mdash; awesome!
::'''BUBS:''' Hey&mdash; awesome!
Line 369: Line 358:
::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha&mdash;That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha&mdash;That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow, my snot!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{off screen}'' Ow, my snot!
::''{cut to the epilogue}''
::''{cut to the epilogue}''
=== Coach Z ===
=== Coach Z ===
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
Line 415: Line 405:
:'''COACH Z:''' Thanks for throwing this praty! I love praties!
:'''COACH Z:''' Thanks for throwing this praty! I love praties!
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll put this in shouts of one syllable: ''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE''!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll put this in shouts of one syllable: ''GET OUT OF MY MOUSE''!
:'''COACH Z:''' No thanks, SB. I need a hootenanny like this to pick me up after the awful way Pom Pom broke my heart with all his cheatin' and chortin' 'n' nonchalant cavortin'.
:'''COACH Z:''' No thanks, SB. I need a hootenanny like this to pick me up after the awful way Pom Pom broke my heart with all his cheatin' and chortin' 'n' nonchalant cavortin'.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
Line 421: Line 411:
:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.
:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.
-
=== Conga Line ===
+
==== Conga Line ====
 +
:'''Only during party'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey&mdash;
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey&mdash;
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Choo choo!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Choo choo!
=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
 +
:'''Only during Party'''
 +
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
-
::''First time only''
 
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How did you know it was me?!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How did you know it was me?!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, he is!
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Yeah, he is!
-
::{{short hr}}
+
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hewwo, evewybody!
+
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why hello, Homestar...
+
-
::'''MARZIPAN:''' You're not fooling anyone, Strong Bad.
+
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Homestar.
+
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, me too. I just can't stop gazing at my shoes.
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' Yeah, me too. I just can't stop gazing at my shoes.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I wish my hair was black.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I wish my hair was black.
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{crossly}'' Hip-hop objectifies women.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{crossly}'' Hip-hop objectifies women.
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{breakdancing}'' Word.
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{breakdancing}'' Word.
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey&mdash;
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey&mdash;
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I do believe that dreary Mr. Bad is attempting to interrupt our dance, Mr. Homestar.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I do believe that dreary Mr. Bad is attempting to interrupt our dance, Mr. Homestar.
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I should say, what an appalling breach of common civility.
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' I should say, what an appalling breach of common civility.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I concur.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I concur.
Line 458: Line 445:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I thought the Homestar Victory Party supposed to be in your backyard?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I thought the Homestar Victory Party supposed to be in your backyard?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It was, but then some not-very-nice person torched most of my very nice decorations.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It was, but then some not-very-nice person torched most of my very nice decorations.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Booooo!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Booooo!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that. It was for the greater good. The greatest good, in fact. You know, mine.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that. It was for the greater good. The greatest good, in fact. You know, mine.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What would it take to get you to move this dorkfest someplace that isn't my house?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What would it take to get you to move this dorkfest someplace that isn't my house?
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Twenty-three dollars.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Twenty-three dollars.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We're not going anywhere until we've sufficiently busted moves and/or grooves!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We're not going anywhere until we've sufficiently busted moves and/or grooves!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's not good. It usually takes Marzipan at least eight hours to fully bust moves, and as for Homestar...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's not good. It usually takes Marzipan at least eight hours to fully bust moves, and as for Homestar...
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Shake it loose, shake it tight, gimme the juice, it's Saturday night!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Shake it loose, shake it tight, gimme the juice, it's Saturday night!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's busting something, all right. Or maybe he's just plain busted.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's busting something, all right. Or maybe he's just plain busted.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''GET OUT!'''''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''GET OUT!'''''
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man. I gotta keep shakin' this here thang.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' No way, man. I gotta keep shakin' this here thang.
==== Marzipan & Homestar &rarr; Trophy ====
==== Marzipan & Homestar &rarr; Trophy ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, Homestar didn't ''really'' win the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, Homestar didn't ''really'' win the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I didn't?
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' I didn't?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It was me, in a totally-not-the-head-from-Marzipan's-float Homestar mask!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It was me, in a totally-not-the-head-from-Marzipan's-float Homestar mask!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bwhaa-ha-ha-ha.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Bwhaa-ha-ha-ha.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Hee hee hee!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Hee hee hee!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, that's rich, Strong Bad.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh, that's rich, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really! It was me all along!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really! It was me all along!
Line 482: Line 469:
===Melonade===
===Melonade===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
:'''During the party'''
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!
Line 488: Line 475:
===See Dee Spinner===
===See Dee Spinner===
:'''Before party'''
:'''Before party'''
-
::''{Ordinary background music playing}''
+
::''{music playing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
Line 499: Line 486:
::{{short hr}}
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
-
:'''During Party, when switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.'''
+
:'''During Party'''
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
+
::''When switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.''
-
::''{The party goers form a conga line}''
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
 +
::''{party goers form a conga line}''
===Smoke Detector===
===Smoke Detector===
Line 507: Line 495:
===Window===
===Window===
-
:''First time only''
 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
-
:''Second time only''
+
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
-
:''Each time thereafter''
+
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.
Line 526: Line 513:
===Plaque (horse)===
===Plaque (horse)===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last" &mdash; that's a horse.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The lonelient goat sees the last sunset last" &mdash; that's a horse.
===Plaque (dog)===
===Plaque (dog)===
Line 533: Line 520:
==Outside==
==Outside==
===Mail Box===
===Mail Box===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? ''{finds a ski cap}'' I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
-
:'''After being emptied'''
+
===Mail Box (empty)===
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
===Pile of Dirt===
===Pile of Dirt===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
Line 543: Line 530:
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
===Treasure Marker===
===Treasure Marker===
 +
====Treasure Marker====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
====Shovel &rarr; Treasure Marker====
====Shovel &rarr; Treasure Marker====
Line 548: Line 536:
== Strong Bad Emails ==
== Strong Bad Emails ==
-
===When sitting down===
+
===Sitting Down===
-
:''During game intro only''
+
:''{During game intro only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
Line 562: Line 550:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
-
=== When deleting emails ===
+
=== Beat Homestar? ===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! &mdash; Deleted.
+
:''{E-mail only appears in game intro}''
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
+
-
:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with devil horns.}''
+
<blockquote class="lappy email">
 +
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
 +
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar<br/>
 +
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are<br/>
 +
you chicken or something?<br/>
 +
Confused,<br/>
 +
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
 +
</blockquote>
 +
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "dont" as "dahnt", and "Confused" as "Confussed"}''
-
=== When undeleting emails ===
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", comprende-vous cordon bleu? ''{when typing Strong Bad omits the word "in" from the phrase "in any position"}''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! That's... deleted backwards.
+
 
-
:{{short hr}}
+
:''{Clears screen}''
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
+
-
:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's ''obviously'' got a '''lot''' of gunk up there. I could probably handle beating the tar, the stuffing, or the... into next-week out of him though.
-
=== Email 1: Beat Homestar? ===
+
:''{Strong Bad steps away from the Lappy}''
-
:''Email only appears in game intro. See [[#Game Introduction|Game Introduction]].''
+
-
=== Email 2: Pummelling? ===
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's track, running in place or something.
 +
=== Pummelling? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
Line 597: Line 582:
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
+
:''{when checking the email a second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:'''  Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.
:'''STRONG BAD:'''  Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.
-
=== Email 3: Got Bulk? ===
+
=== Got Bulk? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
Line 617: Line 602:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
+
:''{when checking the email a second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.
-
=== Email 4: Your Head ===
+
=== Your Head ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
Line 627: Line 612:
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad shouts the capitalized part}''
+
:''{shouts the capitalized part}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.
-
=== Email 5: Hey There! ===
+
=== Hey There! ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
Line 648: Line 633:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.
-
=== Email 6: Tie-Things ===
+
=== Tie-Things ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
Line 656: Line 641:
-Christine B
-Christine B
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
+
:''{Pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''
-
=== Email 7: Total Load Confirmation ===
+
=== Total Load Confirmation ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
Line 672: Line 657:
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC.<br/>
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC.<br/>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
+
:''{Stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!
-
=== Email 8: Total Load Arrival ===
+
=== Total Load Arrival ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
Line 683: Line 668:
FOUND ITS WAY TO OUT LOCAL DISTIRBUTOR <!-- sic --> - BUBS C.<br>
FOUND ITS WAY TO OUT LOCAL DISTIRBUTOR <!-- sic --> - BUBS C.<br>
STAND. And may be picked up at your convenience. Thanks<br>
STAND. And may be picked up at your convenience. Thanks<br>
-
again for your interest in TOTAL LOAD, TOTAL LOAD TOTAL<br>
+
again fro your interest in TOTAL LOAD, TOTAL LOAD TOTAL<br>
Etc., Inc.
Etc., Inc.
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
-
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He says "etc." twice and adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''
+
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''
 +
 
 +
=== Deleted ===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! &mdash; Deleted.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
 +
 
 +
=== Undeleted ===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! Thats... deleted backwards.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
==Strong Bad's Room==
==Strong Bad's Room==
Line 695: Line 698:
===Drawing Table===
===Drawing Table===
:'''At the start of the game'''
:'''At the start of the game'''
-
::''First time only''
+
::''{First time only}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
-
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}
+
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts. After the mini-game}''
-
::''{After the mini-game is finished}''
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender&mdash;
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender&mdash;
::''{looks around the table}''
::''{looks around the table}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?
-
 
-
:'''When Homestar is blocking the table'''
 
-
::''First time only''
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Teen Girl Squad... which one of you wants to get trampled by stampeding Venus fly traps today?
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Get away! I'm pouring my crushed soul and grody guts into an epic 23-part comic 23-part comic zine graphic novel about a really cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race!
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I see?
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO! NOT UNTIL I'M DONE!
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' When will that be?
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I've emptied out the contents of my tortured brains.
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So, what, five seconds ago?
 
-
::{{short hr}}
 
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Done with your "fictional" story about a cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race yet?
 
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO!
 
:'''While Homestar is still in the house, but not standing at the table, or during the party'''
:'''While Homestar is still in the house, but not standing at the table, or during the party'''
Line 826: Line 815:
=== Homestar &rarr; Teen Girl Squad ===
=== Homestar &rarr; Teen Girl Squad ===
-
:''First time only''
+
:''{first time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and&mdash;
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and&mdash;
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah, I get it. How long will it be before I can use my drawing table again?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah, I get it. How long will it be before I can use my drawing table again?
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh it might be a while. I still haven't figured out what to call my Really Cool lead character.
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh it might be a while. I still haven't figured out what to call my Really Cool lead character.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''Second time only''
+
:''{second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:''Each time thereafter''
+
:''{each time thereafter}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!
===Homestar's comic===
===Homestar's comic===
Line 855: Line 844:
=== Trophy &rarr; Homestar ===
=== Trophy &rarr; Homestar ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{talking to camera}'' Hmm, this will require some stra''ter''gery... <!-- sic --> ''{talking to Homestar}'' Hey, look at that, thing... over there.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{talking to camera}'' Hmm, this will require some stra''ter''gery... <!-- sic --> ''{talking to Homestar}'' Hey, look at that, thing... over there.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' A thing? Where?! ''{looks around, Strong Bad hits him over the head with the trophy, he collapses}''
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' A thing? Where?! ''{looks around, Strong Bad hits him over the head with the trophy, he collapses}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, dumpwad, wake up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, dumpwad, wake up!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gets up}'' Who? What? Why? Oh, crap! I just had a wonderful dream where I won the Race to the End of the Race! ''{fanfare}''
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{gets up}'' Who? What? Why? Oh, crap! I just had a wonderful dream where I won the Race to the End of the Race! ''{fanfare}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Homestar, it wasn't a dream, see? ''{gestures to trophy, now sitting on the table}'' You really did win the Race to the End of the Whatchamacallit!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Homestar, it wasn't a dream, see? ''{gestures to trophy, now sitting on the table}'' You really did win the Race to the End of the Whatchamacallit!
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I did?  But how?
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' I did?  But how?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How should I know? Maybe you were... sleep-running or something.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How should I know? Maybe you were... sleep-running or something.
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yesss... that makes perfect sense. Well, looks like my 23-part graphic novel can wait for another day. ''{leaves, with trophy}''
+
:'''HOMESTAR:''' Yesss... that makes perfect sense. Well, looks like my 23-part graphic novel can wait for another day. ''{leaves, with trophy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finally, I was thinking I'd never get to maim another badly drawn teen girl ever again!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finally, I was thinking I'd never get to maim another badly drawn teen girl ever again!
===Videlectrix Poster===
===Videlectrix Poster===
-
:''First time only''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{first time only}'' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
+
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Videlectrix &mdash; We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Videlectrix &mdash; We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...
Line 874: Line 862:
::''{music}''
::''{music}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How? Huh? You were just&mdash;
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How? Huh? You were just&mdash;
-
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs} (if in kitchen)'' Siiiiigh...
+
::'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{sighs} (if in kitchen)'' Siiiiigh...
== Strong Sad's Room ==
== Strong Sad's Room ==
=== Strong Sad's Door ===
=== Strong Sad's Door ===
-
:''First time only''
+
:''{first time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Not interested.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Not interested.
-
:''Second time only''
+
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{second time}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
-
:''Each time thereafter''
+
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{each time thereafter}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll&mdash; I'll&mdash; I'll&mdash;
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll&mdash; I'll&mdash; I'll&mdash;
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You'll what?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You'll what?
Line 896: Line 886:
====Candy &rarr; Strong Sad's Door====
====Candy &rarr; Strong Sad's Door====
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of ChocoOpps.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of Choco-OPS.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You know I can't have peanuts!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You know I can't have peanuts!
Line 903: Line 893:
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it Monsieur Manure: the video game adaptation of how I finally beat the snot out of Homestar, in the most direct and least convoluted way. Man I'm awesome. Eat snail, Strong Bad.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it Monsieur Manure: the video game adaptation of how I finally beat the snot out of Homestar, in the most direct and least convoluted way. Man I'm awesome. Eat snail, Strong Bad.
::''{camera pulls back, Strong Bad turns around and stands up on Stooly}''
::''{camera pulls back, Strong Bad turns around and stands up on Stooly}''
-
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' So you see people, that's why you can't, no you can't, uhn, handle my style, because it's hot, ''{jumps off Stooly, and lands on the washer (in the basement), hops down and walks to the couch}'' ''{very quickly}'' so please allow 10 to 15 minutes for it to properly cool before you try to handle my styyyyle! ''{lies down and closes his eyes, camera pans up and left, cutting through the wall and to the lappy.  Ominous music is heard.  The Municipality logo is seen on the Lappy's screen. Slow zoom in and fade}'' ''{Credit roll b/w dimmed out scene of Strong Bad sleeping on the couch}''  ''{Following credits, a preview for [[Strong_Badia the Free#Preview Transcript|Strong Badia the Free]] is seen before returning to the game menu}''
+
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' So you see people, that's why you can't, no you can't, uhn, handle my style, because it's hot, ''{jumps off Stooly, and lands on the washer (in the basement), hops down and walks to the couch}'' ''{very quickly}'' so please allow 10 to 15 minutes for it to properly cool before you try to handle my styyyyle! ''{lies down and closes his eyes, camera pans up and left, cutting through the wall and to the lappy.  Ominous music is heard.  The Municipality logo is seen on the Lappy's screen. Slow zoom in and fade}'' ''{Credit roll b/w dimmed out scene of Strong Bad sleeping on the couch}''  ''{Following credits, a preview for [[Strong_Badia_the_Free#Preview_Transcript|Strong Badia the Free]] is seen before returning to the game menu}''
{{SBCG4AP}}
{{SBCG4AP}}
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

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