Email FAQ

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Current revision as of 20:17, 1 December 2023

Frequently asked questions, and their answers

The Email FAQ was a frequently asked questions page for homestarrunner.com based on the Strong Bad Email menu from the Compy 386 era. It contains questions concerning then-unreleased merchandise, such as the strongbad_email.exe DVDs, Kick The Cheat dolls, and additional sets of figurines.

As of February 14, 2005 (or earlier), this page no longer exists on the site and has been replaced with an updated version.

Date: Saturday, January 17, 2004 or earlier

Page Title: Email Menu - It's maybe just for email againymore!

[edit] Transcript

{Strong Bad is at the Compy. He greets the viewer with one of the following lines at random:}

• STRONG BAD: All right, all right, I'll load this up for you. But hurry up! I'm working on a Trogdor text adventure.

• STRONG BAD: All right, all right, I'll load this up for you. But hurry up! I want to play my new copy of "Duck Guardian 2". {holds up the game's box}

• STRONG BAD: All right, all right, I'll load this up for you. But hurry up! I gotta balance my checkbook. The Cheat made some unexpected expenditures.

{As this is said, he types "c:\>faq.txt", which causes the following to load:}

[edit] Frequently Asked Questions (now quit buggin me!)

Q: Are the emails Strong Bad answers real?
A: Yup, all of them come from real people. He gets thousands of emails a day so that's why he hasn't picked yours. Keep trying, though.
(STRONG BAD: Ugh, I can't believe you asked that. You, my friend, are a part of the problem.)

Q: Where are Jumping Jacks and the wrestling one?
A: They had to be removed from the site temporarily. They'll be back up some day.

Q: Where are the old cartoons and emails that aren't on the site anymore? (shortened to "Where are the old cartoons and emails?" in the FAQ body)
A: Check the museum section of the site, just click the H*R logo on any of the main pages. Every Strong Bad Email we've ever done is on the site. The clips from the 'Personal Favorites' emails were just made up. Twas a joke. Oh, and that 'Old Emails' button on some older emails button is an outdated button.

Q: Who does the voices on ya'lls site?
A: Matt does all the voices except Marzipan, that's Missy. Mike does the voices when The Cheat makes cartoons.

Q: What software do you use to make your Flash cartoons? How do you record your sound? (shortened to "What software do you use to make your toons?" in the FAQ body)
A: You kinda answered that one yourself. We use Macromedia Flash to make our Flash cartoons. You can download a free trial at Macromedia.com. For Flash help, try out Flashkit.com or buy one of the Visual Quickstart Guide books on Flash. As for sound, we run a microphone through a USB preamp and record in an old version of Cool Edit Pro.
(STRONG BAD: Whoa, you can hardly see me through all of this text. {lowers voice and tries to see around text} I'm back here. Aah, the text is attacking my head.)

Q: When does the DVD come out?
A: Sometime in 2004. We keep putting more and more stuff on it so you'll like it more. But hopefully it'll be the first half of 2004

Q: Why won't the Joy of Painting cartoon work on the Toons menu? (shortened to "Why won't the Joy of Painting cartoon work?" in the FAQ body)
A: Easy. It's not a cartoon. Just a little easter egg to show you Marzipan with a beard.

Q: Where does 'Fhqwhgads' come from?
A: From the Strong Bad Email called 'i love you.' The Cheat also made a music video bout it. Look in our Shorts section.
(STRONG BAD: You didn't know that? What, have you been living under a rock... that doesn't have Internet access?)

Q: You should put Homestar and Strong Bad on a TV show!! (altered to "You should put Homestar and Strong Bad on TV" in the FAQ body)
A: No thanks.

Q: You dudes use Windows or Macs?
A: We use Windows machines except for some video editing. We do that on a Mac.

Q: Why come I don't get any updates? I signed up! (shortened to "Why come I don't get any updates?" in the FAQ body)
A: We stopped sending updates because we pretty much update every week. Mostly on Mondays.

Q: Some cartoons won't load on my 'puter! What's up? (shortened to "Some cartoons won't load on my 'puter!" in the FAQ body)
A: Download the latest free Flash player from Macromedia.com. That usually helps.

Q: I can never see the latest updates! My computer says 'the show' is the newest email! (shortened to "I can never see the latest updates!" in the FAQ body)
A: You may need to contact your ISP about refreshing their DNS or something like that.
(STRONG BAD: Geez... How much longer are you gonna be? How many questions did you have?)

Q: So is that Homestar puppet for sale? (shortened to "Is the puppet for sale?" in the FAQ body)
A: Nope, he's one of a kind. Talking The Cheat plush dolls are on the way though. Early 2004.

Q: Are you ever gonna make more figurines?
A: Yessir. A 2nd set is in production as we speak. It will feature Homsar, Poopsmith, The KOT, Homestar running, and Buckethand Strong Bad with BathTime The Cheat.

Q: Are you guys for hire? Or can you make my friend and/or loved one a special cartoon? (shortened to "Are you guys for hire?" in the FAQ body)
A: Homestar keeps us so busy that we don't have time for freelance or personlized stuff. Thanks for thinking of us, though.

Q: Will you put up a banner or link to my site?
A: Our policy has always been absolutely no advertising. That includes banners, pop-ups, and even links to other sites.

Q: So like, is this all you guys do? Like, it's your job and stuff? (shortened to "Is this what you do for a living?" in the FAQ body)
A: Yes, t-shirt sales are good enough that we are able to do this full time. Rock on.

Q: That drawing of Homestar in the fan section is NOT Michael Jackson like you said. Did you know that? Same with that one you said is Ken from Street Fighter. You guys are wrong!! (shortened to "Mistakes on fan art drawings?" in the FAQ body)
A: We know. We've seen the movie and the cartoon. It's a joke. Now leave us alone.
(STRONG BAD: Oh, I swear, if I got another email asking about this... {makes angry/frustrated noises})

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Trivia

• Many of the FAQ's questions were taken from a question-and-answer session featuring the Brothers Chaps at Matt's alma mater Florida State University on November 7, 2003.

[edit] Remarks

• Scrolling up when at the top of the list shows that there is a space above the first question.
• Unlike the more modern Compy-based menus, this FAQ page does not have a draggable scroll bar.
• Technically, Mike also "does the voice" for Pom Pom, via a sound clip of him blowing bubbles through a straw into a glass of milk.
• Despite the policy of not having links to other sites, the Email Processing Room contained a hidden link to "The Rumor", a fansite for The Band run by friends of the Brothers Chaps. The current FAQ corrects this answer by saying that "[they] link to a couple sites here and there but only when it's appropriate."

[edit] Fast Forward

• Peasant's Quest, a Trogdor (graphical) text adventure, and Duck Guardian One, the predecessor to Duck Guardian 2, were both later released by Videlectrix.

[edit] External Links

• view the Email FAQ (mirror)
• view the Flash file for the Email FAQ (mirror)