technology

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Strong Bad Email #143
watch ← secret identity some kinda robot →
Fold the old floppy disks to make them fit in the new computers.

Strong Bad makes an introduction to technology for middle school students.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Pom Pom, Bubs (Easter Egg), Homestar Runner (Easter Egg), Strong Sad (Easter Egg).

Places: Computer Room, The Classroom, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand (Easter Egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 30, 2006

Running Time: 3:39

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.exe" and presses enter.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Don't you wanna email, don't you need a email, don't you turn your life around!

{Strong Bad pronounces "Oswego NY" as "Oswego to New York" with "Oswego" in a sing-song voice, as if saying "Off we go!}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You would really appreciate it? That's it? Man, back in the olden days, I could get upwards of 3 chickens, a sack of barley and a half-dead goat all for doing one of my technology intromercials. {clears screen} Well, I sure hope JCPenney's accepts really appreciate it's, 'cause I know for a fact they stopped taking {extrapolates voice} I'll be your best friend's {returns to normal} a while ago. Either way, middle school kids are all idiots and they need as much of my help and guidance as they can get.

{Strong Bad gets up from his chair. Cut to a classroom with Strong Bad in a coat reminiscent of scientists', the words "I'M USING TECHNOLOGY" written on the blackboard and a poster with a drawing of a computer captioned "computers don't BYTE"}

STRONG BAD: One, zero zero, one one, zero, one, one zero, one one zero, zero one. You may not have understood me, but I was speaking technology.

{Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad's head in the lab.}

STRONG BAD: The word technology... means... magic. It's basically anything that's really cool that you don't know how it works. And if it breaks, you have to buy a new one. Why, I've got some technology beneath my pants right now! Whoo-ya!

{Cut to the full classroom shot again. Strong Bad takes a 5.25" floppy disk with the logo "5.25 power" from behind him, throws it in the air and catches it in his right hand.}

STRONG BAD: This is a diskette. Diskettes were invented by computers to help us. Like how cows {a crude drawing of a cow replaces the text on the blackboard} invented milk.

{Zoom in on Strong Bad's head.}

STRONG BAD: The two warring factions of diskettes are floppy disks {he shakes the 5.25" disk} and hard disks {he lifts an unlabeled 3.5" floppy disk in his right hand}. I prefer {he hides the 3.5" disk again} these big ones because they hold more memory, although you have to {crumples the 5.25" disk} fold them up to fit them to these now computers. {Camera pans right to center on the "computers don't BYTE!" poster. Strong Bad then hides the crumpled disk and continues.} Another thing you'll need is your very own E-mail address.

{Cut to a Tandy 400-like computer screen with an orange envelope labeled "email".}

STRONG BAD: Just take your favourite hobby {the words "soccer", "ballet", "nachoeating", "skater", "fire", "football", "racecar" alternate under the envelope until stopping on "swimteam"}}, kid, grrl, pie or izzle {the words alternate next to "swimteam" as he speaks them, then being replaced by "pie"} and put a bunch of numbers at the end!

{The number "33331" appears next to "pie". The address is completed with "@kindergartencop.edu" appearing on the next line. Then, cut to the classroom with a picture of a robot marching towards a city and the text "gank gank!"}

STRONG BAD: {in a monotonous voice}: Robots are technology shaped like square people. {returns to normal voice} They are primarily used for destroying Japan and serving hors d'œuvres.

{The Cheat walks up to Strong Bad with a plate of hors d'œuvres, making robotic noises and encased in what appears to be an upside-down metal pail with bolts drawn on it in black marker and light bulbs sticking out of holes cut in the sides}

STRONG BAD: Ah, The Cheat-Bot! I would love a stuffed grape leaf! {he grabs one and eats it}

{cut to The Field, where the lab-coat'd Strong Bad and "The Cheat-Bot" are standing next to Pom-Pom, who is talking to someone on his PDA}

STRONG BAD: Originally, tellular cellephones {indicating Pom-Pom's PDA} were for sending misspelled messages to your friends, telling them where you are in the food court.

POM-POM: {makes a few bubbling noises directed at Strong Bad, then resumes his conversation}

STRONG BAD: Pom-Pom just bought movie tickets with his cell phone!

POM-POM: {looks annoyed and makes more bubbling noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh, he just watched a movie on his cell phone!

POM-POM: {looks angry at Strong Bad, makes more bubbling noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh oh oh! Pom-Pom just wrote, directed, produced, and distributed a movie with his cell phone!

POM-POM: {answers an incoming call and makes a few more bubbling noises}

STRONG BAD: ...and he just got into Sundance! High-five, brother!

{Pom-Pom absorbs his PDA into his body, produces a pair of sunglasses and a water bottle, and bounces off}

STRONG BAD: {holding out for the high-five a bit longer} Uh, cool, right. I'll, uh... see you later. {waits a bit, then turns to The Cheat} What are you still doing here, The Cheat-Bot?

{cut back to the classroom, where the blackboard now reads "THE FUTURE??" in large letters}

STRONG BAD: The future of technology, or at least what people won't shut up about, is wireless. You know, things like {the view zooms in on the blackboard, which displays drawings of each of the items Strong Bad mentions} walkmans, flashlights, and solar calculators. {he pops up in front of the blackboard and holds up a "Cakkalater" brand calculator which has the digits "53045 3080" typed in} Look, I can make mine say "oboe shoes"! {he turns the calculator upside-down so that the digits resemble the words "OBOE SHOES"}

{cut back to the Lappy, as Strong Bad sits back down}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And then there's the Lappy, which rules over technology with a 42 pound, allegedly portable fist. Watch as it magically saves this screen.

{Strong Bad types "screen_savior.exe" on a new line, bringing up a screen saver that resembles a primitive 3D maze. The words "Strong Bad gots the style" are written on the wall at every turn.}

STRONG BAD: The screen is saved, man. This thing's gonna last like 50 years! Alright, awkward children, I'm all done kickin' my tech-knowledge. Now leave me alone! Got to find my way out of these catacombs...

{The Paper comes down}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling to himself} Left... left... no, right... no, left... right... just keep goin'... Strong Bad... style...

STRONG BAD: {after some time} Where are you taking me, Lappy?

STRONG BAD: {after another delay} Man... I throwed up all over this maze. {referring to the green color of the maze's floors}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on half-dead goat for a picture of a goat with the caption: "Do you see this goat as half-dead or half-alive?"
  • Click the left side of the screen during the screensaver for an easter egg of Strong Sad and Strong Bad arguing over floppy/hard disks.
STRONG SAD: I keep telling you they're both floppy disks!
STRONG BAD: You think this is a floppy disk?
STRONG SAD: Yes, it is!
STRONG BAD: It's not a hard disk? {he hits his desk with the disk three times}
STRONG SAD: No.
STRONG BAD: Are you sure about this?
STRONG SAD: Absolu- {Strong Bad throws the disk in his face} Ow!
  • Click the right side of the screen during the screensaver to see Bubs selling Wireless Extension Cords.
BUBS: Get your wireless extension cords. Three for $300! Lightweight, existant, and shockproof!
{Homestar peeks out from the left edge of the screen}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm... I'll take fooour! {he flies up the left screen edge and disappears}

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • A floppy disk is a data storage disk that is used to back up files or transport files from one computer to another. They come in two main varieties: 5.25" and 3.5". Note that not only does Strong Bad mislabel the 3.5" floppy disk, but he incorrectly states that the larger disk holds more memory; actually, the smaller one has more disk space. Like most of Strong Bad's hardware, 5.25" floppies are now obsolete.
  • A hard disk or hard drive (more correctly: "hard disk drive") is a storage unit for computer files that is usually located inside the computer and, therefore, not portable; however, recent technology has made hard drives that are both external and portable.
  • When Strong Bad 'speaks technology,' he says "10011011011001", which is binary code for 9945. If you split the string in half and convert the two pieces ("1001101" and "1011001") into letters via the ASCII chart, it spells "MY".

Inside References

  • Pom Pom's ring tone is the indytronic remix of The Geddup Noise, heard in the email geddup noise.
  • The "kindergartencop.edu" domain was also used in unused emails, for the email address Bubs spams.
  • The Lappy being 42 pounds and portable is a reference to animal, when it first debuted.
  • The Cakkalator is a reference to how Strong Bad pronounces "calculations" in space program.

Real World References

  • The "catacombs" screensaver on the Lappy is reminiscent of the "3D-Maze" screen saver first introduced in Windows 95 OSR-2.
  • Sundance is an annual independent film festival in Park City, Utah, founded by actor Robert Redford and also a US pay cable television channel showing similar films.
  • Pom Pom's cell phone is a Palm Treo 650.
  • JCPenney is a large chain of department stores commonly found in malls.
  • Pom Pom's cell phone says "Incoming Call: Bob Redford", referring to American actor Robert Redford.

External Links

Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/technology"
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