Halloween Potion-ma-jig

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Choose it or lose it

Homestar screws up Marzipan's potion. Choose-your-own-adventure action ensues!

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Coach Z, Pom Pom, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Bubs, Strong Sad, The Goblin (Easter Egg)

See Halloween Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Places: Marzipan's House, Spooky Forest, The Cliff

Page Title: Choose it or Lose it!

Date: November 1, 2005

Transcript

{Spooky sounds play against a darkened wall. Homestar Runner's shadow appears from the left, and Homestar himself then appears suddenly.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crap! You scared me! So, here's the deal: I'm lost inside this haunted mansion, and I need your help to find my costume and get outta here! So, what should we do first?

{The screen displays: 'WHAT SHOULD WE DO?? 1. PET A GOAT 2. MAKE A STEW 3. "I'M SELLING THESE FINE LEATHER JACKETS..."' A "COSTUME LOCATOR" is in the lower left and a "HEALTH & BEAUTY" indicator, showing 100%, is in the lower right. Then, after a moment, the lights suddenly come on and the camera pans back, revealing the interior of Homestar's house, including pictures of Homestar's past costumes framed on the wall. Marzipan walks up with a wig and a pile of clothes. A sheet of paper can be seen in front of Homestar, with doodles all over it and several markers scattered around it.}

MARZIPAN: What up, Homestar? Here's your costume!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {taking the costume} Oh, thanks. You win!

MARZIPAN: {noticing the paper and markers} Homestar Michael Runner, what did you do—

{A closeup of the paper is shown. It reads:}

{But drawings of bugs and ducks obscure all of the important parts, asterisked. Also, Homestar has written "MEAN SEAN", "QUACK TIME", and "COOL DUCK" on various parts of the paper.}

MARZIPAN: ... to my Halloween Potion recipe?

{Homestar and Marzipan appear again.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, yeah. {turns away from Marzipan} Marzipaaan! Can I draw ducks and bugs all over the recipe for your Halloween Potion?

MARZIPAN: No way, Jorge. You're gonna figure out what those ingredients were and bring 'em back here before midnight. Now march your skinny white butt into those spooky woods, mister!

{Music starts.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {humbly} Yes, Mom-zipan.

{The screen displays "HALLOWEEN POTION-MA-JIG" and "A MAKE-YOUR-OWN-DECISION-VENTURE", followed by the usual credits, over the drawings of bugs and ducks. Then, cut to the spooky forest, where Homestar is now in costume.}

The Water

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right! These spooky woods gotta be chock full of spooky ingredients! Let's see, the first one is {pulls out the paper} "Something Water." Hmmmmmmmm...

COACH Z: {from a distance} Really?

{cut to Coach Z and Pom Pom}

COACH Z: Then how come they'll be all nice to yas like they like ya to your face?

POM POM: {bubbles}

COACH Z: I guess I have a lot to learn about mailmen!

{Homestar walks up}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, what are you guys doin' out here? Did you ruin somebody's magic potion too?

COACH Z: Uh... nope. Unless Coach Z's life is a magic potion.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cool, cool, depressing, cool. So, um...

{A box shows up reading "CHOICE TIME!" and the three choices:}

1. Do either of you have any...

...

{A "scorecard" comes up with spaces for all the items you get. The first blank is filled with "Ghost Water". A victory sound plays.}

2. I need something that would be...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I need something that would be good in a Halloween Potion.

POM POM: {bubbles and pulls a severed toe out of his pocket}

COACH Z: Pom Pom can getcha a toe. With nail polish!

HOMESTAR RUNNER:' Um... do you have anything waterier? Or... more waterish? Or waterian?

COACH Z: Please, Homestar, stop! Just take this bottle of questionable water that I keep on my person at all times for questionable reasons!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I won't question that!

{A "scorecard" comes up with spaces for all the items you get. The first blank is filled with "Questionable Water". A victory sound plays.}

3. Taco-Man came by...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Taco-Man came by, he gave me some water-he gave me some water. What are you guys ganna do for me?

COACH Z: Pom Pom, give the man some stank water, I will not be upstaged by Taco-Man two years in a row!

The Powder

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I gotta keep searchin'. {walks offscreen to the right} Too bad I probably won't run into anybody else mysteriously hanging out in the woods.

{Cut to The King of Town and The Poopsmith. Holes are dug all over the place. Homestar walks up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! How ya diggin'?

THE KING OF TOWN: Oh! We're certainly not trying to unearth the ham sandwich that I buried here when I was nine!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Good. 'Cuz I found that thing like two months ago. It wasn't that good. Too much mayo.

THE KING OF TOWN: Too much mayo?! I love too much mayo!

{The choice dialogue comes up again.}

1. Hey! I've got it...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, I've got it! I'll give you a detailed account of the consumption of your ham sammie if you give me a powdered item for this Potion-ma-jig!

THE KING OF TOWN: Sweet deal! Take some of this powdered Thanksgiving! Now let's hear it!

{The screen starts to fade out.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, at first I sprayed it with Windex to get the dirt off. That made it all blue and soggy...

{It fades back in. The King of Town has his head lowered in boredom. His Chicken Basket is empty.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...and that last bite nearly made me puke it right back on my plate!

{Homestar walks off and takes the powder as he goes.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Oh, I wish you had. I surely wish you had!

{The scorecard returns. The second blank is filled with "Powdered Thanksgiving".}

2. I say, is that a powdered...

3. Poopsmith, do I dare ask...

Homsar

{This scene only happens if you click The Poopsmith's face as Homestar walks away (see Easter Eggs). Homsar is floating on a balloon, as per his costume. Homestar walks up, and looks at him, annoyed.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, great, the secret guy!

HOMSAR: AaAaA—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Just gimme my choices!

{Homsar throws confetti, and the bottom of the screen reads:}

HOISIN SAUCE!
2TH: HORSE IT ON IN THERE!
THAT'S A LOT! A LOT! A LOT! A LOT!
> What wouldst thou deau?

{With the Hornblower's head and some circus peanuts over it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What am I supposed to do with that mess?! I'm outta here!

{Homestar walks away.}

HOMSAR: Location, location, location!

The Essence

{Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat are standing around a cliff, with broken TVs littering the area. Strong Bad's face is obscured by the cabinet doors on his costume. Strong Mad tosses a broken TV. Homestar walks up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa. This is a cool new background!

{The TV Strong Mad tossed falls in the background.}

STRONG BAD: {opening his costume's doors} Yeah! We were just burying our problems here in the spooky woods when we found this great big cliff! It's perfect for the chucking off of busted old TVs.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Essence of busted old TVs? {???}

STRONG BAD: Uh, I think these TVs lost their essence in the seventies! What are you doing here, anyways?

{The choice box returns:}

1. I've always felt that...

2. I'm trying to ruin Marzipan's...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm trying to ruin Marzipan's Halloween Potion. Got any leads?

STRONG BAD: That's a worthy cause if ever there was one! How about this essence of putting Strong Mad's hand in warm water when he's asleep?

STRONG MAD: MY SECRET SHAME!

{The Cheat tosses a bottle off the cliff. Homestar jumps after it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks a lot you guuuuuuuuuys!

{The scorecard returns with "Essence of Putting Strong Mad's hand in warm water while he's asleep".}

3. I'm in the mood for a...

The stirring utensil

{Cut back to Strong Bad's posse}

STRONG BAD: Mekka-lekka-hi-mekka-The Cheat throw a TV on 'im...

{The Cheat drops a TV over the cliff.}

STRONG BAD: ... ho.

{The doors on Strong Bad's costume close once more. Cut to Bubs, standing by a canister labeled "BUBS MO'BILE CAN o' STIRRING UTENSILS". Homestar lands next to him. The TV lands behind him.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, Bubs. Fancy runnin' into you in the middle of the woods sellin' stirring utensils.

BUBS: It's a niche market!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, what kind of concoctions might one stir with your wares?

BUBS: Well, a little eye of newt, some toe of frog, baby, you got a witch's brew goin'!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, that's my line! So, how do I score one of those jobbies?

BUBS: Oh, they're free. But you gotta earn 'em!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh, that doesn't sound free at all.

BUBS: Well, you just gotta earn 'em!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: How should I do that?

{The choice box returns:}

1. Do a dance

2. Since a song

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, here goes. Two and three and four. {singing, and Bubs covers his ears} Blackeyed peaches! Treats come true! ??? Summer, what wouldja do? The world is the egg, and...

BUBS: Oh! Heard enough of that one! You... you get a chewed-up pen.

{The scorecard returns with "Stirring utensil: Chewed Up Pen".}

3. Reagan impression

The magic words

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {walking off} Thanks, Great American Bubs!

Easter Eggs

• To see Homsar, click on the Poopsmith's face as Homestar is leaving.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The original potion read:

• This toon was released after midnight on November 1, Atlanta time. The button on the main page read: "it's still halloween!", and then when you moved your mouse over it, it changed to: "in certain timezones!"
• This is the first time Homestar is even mentioned as having a middle name ("Michael").
• There are five endings to this toon. Which ending is seen is determined by adding together all the numbers of the choices made, dividing by five, and taking the remainder (numbered zero to four). Thus, if you choose 2, 1, 3, 3, and 2, you would get 2 + 1 + 3 + 3 + 2 = 11 / 5 = 2, remainder 1.
• Costumes:

Strong Bad - Jambi, The genie from Pee Wee's Playhouse The Cheat - Toad, a character from Nintendo's Mario Bros. world Homestar - Moocher Marzipan - Beaker, a Muppet Babies character King of Town - Col. Sanders, the mascot of Kentucky Fried Chicken Strong Sad - a member of the 80's band, Devo Coach Z - Theo Huxtable, one of the children on The Cosby Show Poopsmith - Ookla the Mok Strong Mad - Gossamer Pom Pom - Walter Sobchak, a crazed, gun-toting character from the movie, The Big Lebowski, played by Jon Goodman Bubs - Apollo Creed, a boxer from the Rocky movie series

Inside References

• There are pictures of Homestar in all his previous Halloween costumes on the back wall of his house.
• The gun Pom Pom draws at the end is from In Search of the Yello Dello.

Outside References

• Ronald Reagan was the 40th president of the united states.

External Links

• Watch "Potion-ma-jig"
• View the Flash file for "Potion-ma-jig"
• Forum thread re: "Halloween Potion-ma-jig"