Soap Box Doiby
From Homestar Runner Wiki
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| - | + | THIS EMAIL IS TOTALLY FAKE AND GAY. FALSE ADVERTISING. | |
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'''anncr:''' are you kidding me? it's the big soap box doiby downhill challenge!!<br> | '''anncr:''' are you kidding me? it's the big soap box doiby downhill challenge!!<br> | ||
(credits)<br> | (credits)<br> | ||
| - | '''anncr:''' welcome back. joining me today is that ____, that mound of | + | '''anncr:''' welcome back. joining me today is that ____, that mound of shit, the king of town! |
| - | '''kot:''' thank you, walter. i must say, i'm very excited to eat some | + | '''kot:''' thank you, walter. i must say, i'm very excited to eat some shit today. |
'''anncr:''' yes, yes. not my name and not what we're doing here. and here come our racers now! | '''anncr:''' yes, yes. not my name and not what we're doing here. and here come our racers now! | ||
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(cut to racers: bubs, cz, team strong, homestar and pom pom) | (cut to racers: bubs, cz, team strong, homestar and pom pom) | ||
| - | '''hs:''' ok pom pom i got it. our team will be called 'the awesome doing homestars.' that makes sense, doesn't it? and thanks for letting me be the driver. you can be my pit crew, or maybe my adoring fans.(brief pause) hey there sport, you need an autograph? | + | '''hs:''' ok pom pom i got it. our team will be called 'the awesome doing homestars.' that makes sense, doesn't it? |
| + | '''Heavy:''' NO! | ||
| + | '''hs:''' and thanks for letting me be the driver. you can be my pit crew, or maybe my adoring fans.(brief pause) hey there sport, you need an autograph? | ||
(he starts to sign pom pom) | (he starts to sign pom pom) | ||
| - | '''pp:''' bubble de dubble | + | '''pp:''' bubble de dubble Dubble Bubble. |
| - | '''hs:''' what?! you built your own racer and you don't want my autograph! that sickens me. if i didn't have an iron tummy i'd prob'ly be | + | '''hs:''' what?! you built your own racer and you don't want my autograph! that sickens me. if i didn't have an iron tummy i'd prob'ly be dead. (cuts to Waylon Smithers shooting Mr. Burns) pfff! is that your racer? looks like a cow's stomach. good luck trying to win in that... |
| - | '''pp:''' | + | '''pp:''' [fake Italian accent] a-bibbiti boop-ti? a-blah blah blah blah blah blah-bla! |
| - | '''hs:''' oh, that's mine. so, where's yours?(pan over to pom-pom's kick-assing racer) | + | '''hs:''' oh, that's mine. so, where's yours?(pan over to pom-pom's kick-assing racer) damn! |
| + | '''all characters:''' [ala Stick Figures on Crack] DAAAAMN! | ||
| + | '''hs:''' that looks like several very smart asses built it. but LOOKS only count in horse shit and ham parades, right homestar? right! | ||
(homestar walks off. we follow him. he walks past the brothers strong and we stay with them) | (homestar walks off. we follow him. he walks past the brothers strong and we stay with them) | ||
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'''sb:''' are you ready? | '''sb:''' are you ready? | ||
| - | ''' | + | '''Heavy:''' NO! |
'''sb:''' i mean are you RRRRRRREADY??!! | '''sb:''' i mean are you RRRRRRREADY??!! | ||
| - | ''' | + | '''Heavy:''' YES! IT IS GOOD DAY TO BE GIANT MAN! |
'''sb:''' c'mon double s. get pumped. we're doing this race together. together for heather. | '''sb:''' c'mon double s. get pumped. we're doing this race together. together for heather. | ||
| - | ''' | + | '''Heavy:''' I AM VERY HAPPY! GOOD TIMES! |
'''sb:''' i dunno. it doesn't matter. we're a family and we're gonna all pile on this cookie sheet and go careening down this hill at breakneck speed like only guys that once shared a bathtub can. | '''sb:''' i dunno. it doesn't matter. we're a family and we're gonna all pile on this cookie sheet and go careening down this hill at breakneck speed like only guys that once shared a bathtub can. | ||
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'''ss:''' who's... | '''ss:''' who's... | ||
| - | '''sb:''' | + | '''sb:''' FUCK IT! [puts sunglasses on; speeds off in boat with "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who playing] |
(cut to cz in his locker-racer) | (cut to cz in his locker-racer) | ||
| - | '''cz'''(talking offscreen): if i could only find a way to power this thing with b.o., then i think i'd be a force to be reckoned with. | + | '''cz'''(talking offscreen): if i could only find a way to power this thing with b.o.y.s, then i think i'd be a force to be reckoned with. know what I'm sayin'? |
(pan over to bubs. he is in the gremlin) | (pan over to bubs. he is in the gremlin) | ||
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'''bubs:''' i'd feel a lot better if i could've found a gas station around here. and a front left tire. (the cheat(or maybe the goblin) is holding up the front left of the gremlin.) | '''bubs:''' i'd feel a lot better if i could've found a gas station around here. and a front left tire. (the cheat(or maybe the goblin) is holding up the front left of the gremlin.) | ||
| - | back to anouncer | + | back to anouncer <- you spelled it incorrect LOL |
'''anncr:''' this year's field is one of the deepest in recent years, wouldn't you agree? | '''anncr:''' this year's field is one of the deepest in recent years, wouldn't you agree? | ||
| - | ''' | + | '''Heavy:''' NO! HEAVY IS DEEP! |
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(fat bluebird squawks) | (fat bluebird squawks) | ||
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'''anncr:''' and they're off! homestar and pom pom jump out in the lead positions. | '''anncr:''' and they're off! homestar and pom pom jump out in the lead positions. | ||
| - | '''hs:''' you're going down fat | + | '''hs:''' you're going down fat ass. |
| + | '''pom pom:''' I'm not fat, I'm big boned! | ||
| + | '''hs:''' (he shakes a box of thumbtacks, showing pom pom) and if you think i'm gonna share my afterschool snack, you're dead. | ||
cut to the brothers strong. strong sad is laying down on the skateboard and strong bad and strong mad are piled on top. | cut to the brothers strong. strong sad is laying down on the skateboard and strong bad and strong mad are piled on top. | ||
Revision as of 16:37, 12 January 2011
THIS EMAIL IS TOTALLY FAKE AND GAY. FALSE ADVERTISING.
Contents |
Released: Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Character key (in order of appearance):
- anncr: The Announcer
- kot: The King of Town
- hs: Homestar Runner
- bubs: Bubs
- cz: Coach Z
- pp: Pom Pom
- sb: Strong Bad
- ss: Strong Sad
- sm: Strong Mad
- The Cheat (or maybe The Goblin)
- Fat Bluebird
- Marzipan
Draft
Soap Box Doiby Cartoon
anncr: are you kidding me? it's the big soap box doiby downhill challenge!!
(credits)
anncr: welcome back. joining me today is that ____, that mound of shit, the king of town!
kot: thank you, walter. i must say, i'm very excited to eat some shit today.
anncr: yes, yes. not my name and not what we're doing here. and here come our racers now!
(cut to racers: bubs, cz, team strong, homestar and pom pom)
hs: ok pom pom i got it. our team will be called 'the awesome doing homestars.' that makes sense, doesn't it? Heavy: NO! hs: and thanks for letting me be the driver. you can be my pit crew, or maybe my adoring fans.(brief pause) hey there sport, you need an autograph?
(he starts to sign pom pom)
pp: bubble de dubble Dubble Bubble.
hs: what?! you built your own racer and you don't want my autograph! that sickens me. if i didn't have an iron tummy i'd prob'ly be dead. (cuts to Waylon Smithers shooting Mr. Burns) pfff! is that your racer? looks like a cow's stomach. good luck trying to win in that...
pp: [fake Italian accent] a-bibbiti boop-ti? a-blah blah blah blah blah blah-bla!
hs: oh, that's mine. so, where's yours?(pan over to pom-pom's kick-assing racer) damn! all characters: [ala Stick Figures on Crack] DAAAAMN! hs: that looks like several very smart asses built it. but LOOKS only count in horse shit and ham parades, right homestar? right!
(homestar walks off. we follow him. he walks past the brothers strong and we stay with them)
sb: are you ready?
Heavy: NO!
sb: i mean are you RRRRRRREADY??!!
Heavy: YES! IT IS GOOD DAY TO BE GIANT MAN!
sb: c'mon double s. get pumped. we're doing this race together. together for heather.
Heavy: I AM VERY HAPPY! GOOD TIMES!
sb: i dunno. it doesn't matter. we're a family and we're gonna all pile on this cookie sheet and go careening down this hill at breakneck speed like only guys that once shared a bathtub can.
sm: you creepin me out!!
ss: yeah, you creepin me out too.
sb: i'm trying to keep this family together! this doiby is what being a family is all about! together for heather!
ss: who's...
sb: FUCK IT! [puts sunglasses on; speeds off in boat with "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who playing]
(cut to cz in his locker-racer)
cz(talking offscreen): if i could only find a way to power this thing with b.o.y.s, then i think i'd be a force to be reckoned with. know what I'm sayin'?
(pan over to bubs. he is in the gremlin)
bubs: i'd feel a lot better if i could've found a gas station around here. and a front left tire. (the cheat(or maybe the goblin) is holding up the front left of the gremlin.)
back to anouncer <- you spelled it incorrect LOL
anncr: this year's field is one of the deepest in recent years, wouldn't you agree?
Heavy: NO! HEAVY IS DEEP!
(fat bluebird squawks)
anncr: and they're off! homestar and pom pom jump out in the lead positions.
hs: you're going down fat ass. pom pom: I'm not fat, I'm big boned! hs: (he shakes a box of thumbtacks, showing pom pom) and if you think i'm gonna share my afterschool snack, you're dead.
cut to the brothers strong. strong sad is laying down on the skateboard and strong bad and strong mad are piled on top.
ss: why are we just sittin here?? what happened to breakneck speed?
sb: stick together! we're never gonna win this doiby if we don't act as one! act as one for heather! strong mad, go get a running start.(silouette view of strong mad hopping off, getting a running start, and leaping onto the skateboard. they finally start going)
ss: ooooohhh! my spine just got cracked for heather!!!
sb: they don't call it breakneck speed for nuthin!
(footage, wideshots, silhouette shots of the race. overtop of that the announcer talks)
anncr: holy crackers! this is sporting drama at its finest! (fi-NEST)
kot: thank you walter. ya know, if i was racing i'd eat myself into a giant wheel of cheese and roll down the hill like a runaway cheddar.
anncr: that would be a sight to behold! (BE-hold)
(cut to the king of town who has, of course, eaten himself into a wheel of cheese)
kot: mind giving me a push?
(cut to bubs and cz duking it out)
Bubs and Coach Z run each other off course in a fiery catastrophe. Homestar and Pom Pom fight each other to the end, but Marzipan zips by them at the end in some kinda vegetable powered somethin-er-other. The Brothers Strong end up dead last, but Strong Bad is convinced he held the family together.
Fun Facts
- The title features "Er" pronounced as "Oi".
- The King of Town is excited to eat some soap. Homestar likewise eats some thumbtacks.
- Coach Z refers to Bubs as Bubsio Andretti.
- The King of Town riding in a wheel of cheese downhill is based on a real event held every year in Gloucester, UK.
- Homestar's comment, "looks only count in horse shows and ham parades," is similar to the expression "close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades".
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