A Folky Tale
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''{The girl starts crying. We cut to another area of the field, with a treestump and squirrel in it.}'' | ''{The girl starts crying. We cut to another area of the field, with a treestump and squirrel in it.}'' | ||
| - | '''SADDY DUMPINGTON:''' Oh, right! I | + | '''SADDY DUMPINGTON:''' Oh, right! I eat squirrels all the time! I made some soup out of the rest of your family, just last night! Isn't that great? |
''{The squirrel starts crying. Cut to the field at sunset. Saddy is walking along.}'' | ''{The squirrel starts crying. Cut to the field at sunset. Saddy is walking along.}'' | ||
Revision as of 04:45, 23 August 2005
We hear the "folky tale" of Saddy Dumpington.
Cast (in order of appearance): Coach Z, Strong Sad, Saddy Dumpington, The Mayor, The Dancing Brothers, Bubs (Easter egg), Homsar (Easter egg)
Places:
Date: August 22, 2005
Running Time: 4:07
Page Title: Folky Tales
Contents |
Transcript
{We open to a shot of Strong Sad and Coach Z standing in The Field. A rope is dangling from above.}
COACH Z: Come on, Strong Sad, I knows you can do it! Just grab a little oomp-ah down your pants, and you'll be up that rope in no time!
STRONG SAD: Ugh. I'm going to ignore that "oomp-ah down my pants" comment. {turns head towards the rope}But I'm more concered about what that rope is attached to. {looks back at Coach Z}
COACH Z: Never you mind! Just get to climbin'!
STRONG SAD: Coach Z, ropes are for dopes.
COACH Z: What's that jargle? Scripture? You quotin' scripture?
STRONG SAD: No, it's a quote from Saddy Dumpington, the legendary folk hero I made up
COACH Z: Sounds kinda like a toilet {pronounced "terlet"} if you ask me.
{Cut to the cover of a book entitled "The Folky Tales - Saddy Dumpington", with a picture of Saddy on it.}
STRONG SAD: {off-scren} Hark to the Folky Tales of Saddy Dumpington! {The picture of Saddy on the cover turns around, and then turns back to his normal position. The cover slides of the screen, revealing a field with a young girl standing in it. Saddy Dumpington is walking over to her.} He traveled the lands, spreading good cheer and smiles to all who would listen.
SADDY DUMPINGTON: I just saw a baby chick choke on a worm! They both died! Isn't that great!
{The girl starts crying. We cut to another area of the field, with a treestump and squirrel in it.}
SADDY DUMPINGTON: Oh, right! I eat squirrels all the time! I made some soup out of the rest of your family, just last night! Isn't that great?
{The squirrel starts crying. Cut to the field at sunset. Saddy is walking along.}
STRONG SAD: But he wasn't very good at spreading cheer or smiles. Just sadness and misery.
{Cut to a town.}
SADDY DUMPINGTON: {playing his washboard} Fear not, townsfolk! Famine is no doubt right 'round the corner! And gross bugs and rats sleep in our beds! Isn't that great?
{Cut to a two-shot of Saddy and the Mayor.}
STRONG SAD: So one day, the Mayor ordered—
COACH Z: Oh, I know this part! {The Mayor and Saddy look around in confusion} Then the mayor ordered the very intelligent Dancing Brothers {a paper falls from the top of the frame, reading "THE DANCING BROTHERS" to perform and the annual "Rocks and Round" Graves Festival! {music start playing, and the brothers start dancing}
STRONG SAD: But the Dancing Brothers' shoes broke and they stopped dancing immediately. {the aforementioned occurs. A cane drags the brothers off-screen. Saddy and the Mayor fly back onto the screen} The Mayor then ordered Saddy Dumpington to leave town and never speak to its' citizens again.
SADDY DUMPINGTON: But, Mr. Mayor! Sometimes, dogs get so hungry, they eat their own tails! Isn't that gr— {The mayor, now very angry, kicks Saddy Dumpington with such force that he flies out of the town.} —eeeeeeaaaaattt? {Saddy falls tenderly on a hill. We fade to a forest, Saddy Dumpington walking through it.}
STRONG SAD: So Saddy Dumpington walked through the forest, befriending all manner of animals along the way.
{Saddy picks up a cricket.}
SADDY DUMPINGTON: Cheer up, Mr. Cricket! You have no central nervous system! So it won't hurt when I yank your legs off! Isn't that great?
{Cut to another area of the woods. A fox is now present.}
SADDY DUMPINGTON: Hello, Fox Joe!
COACH Z: {off-screen}Have you met my good friends, The Dancing Brothers? {Saddy turns to look at him. The piece of paper falls from the top of the screen again, and The Dancing Brothers fall into the frame, dancing.} Glenn, Martbell, and the Killer Dynamite! {music begins playing, but it shortly screeches to a halt. The Brothers stop dancing, looking dejected.}
STRONG SAD: No! The Dancing Brothers are allergic to foxes, and they sneeze themselves into comas! '{The Brothers start sneezing}
COACH Z: Oh, jeez! That's harsh!
{We cut to a pond. Saddy is nearby.}
STRONG SAD: Then one day, old Dumps here got a message from town! {a knife with a message attached flies into a tree. Cut to a close-up of the letter. As the message is spoken, the words appear on the page.}
Saddy,
We haven't stopped laughing
since you left. No one can get any
work done. We need you to come
say something miserable and
depressing so we can have our
lives back.
The Townsfolk
SADDY DUMPINGTON: Something miserable and depressing? I've never thought of such a thing! Um... would weird snakes be considered depressing?
'{cut to an evening shot of the field. Saddy is walking through it, now with an odd tail on his back.}
STRONG BAD: So he strolled into town, dressed as weird snake.
{We cut to the town. Strong Sad is wearing a costume reminiscant to the weird snake he found by the pond. All the townsfolk are laughing.}
SADDY DUMPINGTON: I'm a weird snake, everyone! My name is Wierd Snake Joe! Isn't that miserable and depressing?
STRONG SAD: But instead of getting depressed, everyone laughed even harder until they passed out for the rest of their lives.
{We cut back to the field, rope and Coach Z still present.}
STRONG SAD: And that brings me to this rope. I'm gonna pass out if I have to climb this rope.
COACH Z: Eh, Strong Sad, that's a real load right there, a real load! That kind of thing might work on Coach X, or Coach Y, {loudly} but you're dealing with Coach Dang Z! Now get up on that rope! {Strong Sad moans, and passes out.} Oh, jeez! I killed the Elephant Man! Oh, man, this is real bad, man! What would the Dancin' Brothers do in a situation {pronounced "sit-she-ation"} like this? {starts dancing and singing}
Oh, gonna have a good time tonight!
Gonna have a good time tonight!
{dances off the screen.}
Gonna have a good time tonight...
Gonna have a good...
{Strong Sad opens his eyes and turns his head towards the camera.}
STRONG SAD: Works every time.
{music starts playing, and Strong Sad pretends to go back into unconciousness. The color of everything darkens, and "end." appears, accompianied by Saddy Dumpington's head.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the rope at the end to see what is really holding it up.
{Homsar is upside down at the top of the screen. He has the rope in his mouth.}
HOMSAR: {Muffled speech}
{His hat moves in a rectangle off his head and comes back}
- Click on Strong Sad's head to see a scene with Bubs at his Concession Stand.
BUBS: {on the phone} What? No! Of course you can't come here! You need to get out of town, man! Lay low for a while! Yeah, all right, all right, you is my dog too. Now get movin'!
COACH Z: {popping in from the top of the stand} Who was that?
BUBS: Aw, that was just Homestar. Now keep outta sight!
COACH Z: Sure! {hides again}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- If the laws of physics are the same in Free Country, USA as they are on the real earth, then the rope is only about 10 feet long.
Inside References
- Saddy Dumpington is originally from an entry in Strong Sad's Lament.
Real-World References
- Joseph Carey Merrick (1862–1890), known as "The Elephant Man," gained the sympathy of Victorian Britain because of his extreme deformity.
