User:Thesmokingmonkey

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Revision as of 15:25, 8 August 2005 (edit) Thesmokingmonkey (Talk | contribs) m (links) ← Older edit		Current revision as of 03:57, 25 July 2007 (edit) (undo) Thesmokingmonkey (Talk | contribs) m (Whoops.)
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-	==<font color=darkblue>The Smoking Monkey</font>==	+	'''Man!''' It's been like, over a freaking year, and there's still no re-imaginin' going on for this user page! No graphics, no funny statements, no funny questions! Not even a miserable italicized word!
		+	[[image:homestar.jpg|thumb|500px|right|<small>The cause of the disappearance of the T-Zone?</small>]]
		+	''That's better.''
-	[[Image:thesmokingmonkey.jpg|thumb|right|150px|''The Smoking Monkey Enjoys a Smoke and a'' '''''Froid Un''''']]	+	==The Failure of Imagination (Or, Why No One Should Ever Compose Streams of Consciousness)==
		+	<small>'''DISCLAIMER: None of the following is true, nor is it endorsed by the Homestar Runner Wiki, employees of SOGLO, Ltd., or any sandals, anywhere. Maybe Teva sandals, but that would be the exception.'''</small>
-	Overcome with malaise and a general sense of ennui that he picked up as head of the [[Wikipedia:Louvre|Louvre's]] ''Département D'Étude De Primat'', '''<font color=darkblue>the Smoking Monkey</font>''' was full of despair. He turned to [[Wikipedia:cigarette|cigarettes]] and [[Wikipedia:beers|beer]], as he usually did, but these only served to cast him further into darkness.	+	The Smoking Monkey thinks that [[Strong Sad|when angels cry]], this means Vlad Guerrero has a season-ending MCL injury. When someone says, "I Can't!" he replies ,"not ''the'' Immanuel Kant, philosopher extrordinaire?" He believes firmly that everything Homestar says is really a coded message somehow linked to that piece of tire he once saw on Route 95. He feels it's not always right to hold the door open for little old ladies - what is he, a professional doorman? No, no, no. He is, was, and shall be a proponent for getting manatees put on restaurant menus, expunging the word "crotchless" from the English language, and tapioca. Lots of thick, rich, tapioca.
-	Then, his friend Yves-Roland told him something wonderful.	+	Dee-lish.
-	"''Avez-vous essayé le Coureur de [[Homestar]]?''" Yves wanted to know.	+	&mdash; {{User:Thesmokingmonkey/sig}} 03:57, 25 July 2007 (UTC)
-		+
-	"''Mais non''," said the Smoking [[Wikipedia:monkey|Monkey]], putting out his cigarette on a half-eaten [[Wikipedia:croissant|croissant]].	+
-		+
-	"''Alors vous devez voir''!" announced Yves, and together they journeyed to an internet cafe.	+
-		+
-	There, the Smoking Monkey spent the rest of the day and all of the next watching every single '''[[Homestar Runner]]''' cartoon - twice.	+
-		+
-	These days, when not sleeping at work, the Smoking Monkey fantasizes about new Homestar adventures and dreams of the day he, too, can venture to [[Free Country, USA]], and have some [[Grumblecakes]]. For truly, the Smoking Monkey is a thief and a liar (though he has not as yet been sent to [[Wikipedia:prison|prison]]).	+
-		+
-	==Favorites==	+
-	[[Image:butterda.png|thumb|right|100px|<small>'''''They Tells Him Not To!'''''</small>]]	+
-	'''<font color=orange>FAVORITE CHARACTER</font>''': [[The King of Town]]	+
-		+
-	'''<font color=green>FAVORITE SBE-MAIL</font>''': [[crazy cartoon]]	+
-		+
-	'''<font color=darkred>FAVORITE AUTOMOTIVE PRODUCT</font>''': Butter-Da	+
-		+
-	'''<font color=pink>LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER</font>''': [[Marzipan]]	+
-		+
-	'''<font color=brown>LEAST FAVORITE TOON</font>''': "''Une telle chose n'est pas possible''!!"	+
-		+
-	'''<font color=purple>OFTEN HEARD REMARKING</font>''': "Let's Do This Like Brutus!"	+
-		+
-	==The Smoking Monkey Philosophy==	+
-		+
-	'''<font color=darkblue>The Smoking Monkey</font>''' considers himself a minor player in the great and tempestuous [[Wikipedia:worlds|world]] of the '''Homestar Runner Wiki''', but he likes to help out however he can. Sometimes, this means fixing [[Wikipedia:typo|typos]], or making what he considers aesthetic improvements to certain articles. He also puts a great deal of passion into STUFF voting and adding obscure information about even more obscure characters. And, despite some set-backs with his work, the Smoking Monkey takes it all in stride. He leans back, lights a flavorful cancer stick and inhales deeply, thinking about how it could possibly be that [[Eh! Steve]] could elude [[The Wheelchair]] for so long and deciding with fleeting regret that some things never change.	+
-		+
-	"''Quel mystère, ce Coureur de Homestar, constamment au caprice des machinations mauvaises des Frères Forts - comment est-ce qu'il peut soit mettre en avant un visage si déterminé, et un athelete si formidable? Quelle chose merveilleuse à voir''!"	+
-		+
-	==A Public Service Message From the Smoking Monkey==	+
-	'''<font color=darkblue>The Smoking Monkey</font>''' is very saddened by the death of great newsman and Canadian '''[[Wikipedia:Peter Jennings|Peter Jennings]]''', and acknowledges the lung cancer that took him was probably a result of his smoking. The Smoking Monkey would make it clear that although he enjoys a smoke, he is a monkey, and as such, does not encourage similar or imitative behavior in humans, or [[The Cheat]]. Furthermore, in light of becoming aware that the HRWiki is frequented by immature and malicious individuals who either attempt to destroy the hard work of others or try to start conflict, the Smoking Monkey would say this to them: "Knock it off, you knuckleheads."	+
-		+
-	''This has been a public service message from the Smoking Monkey''.	+
-		+
-	==External Links==	+
-	*'''[http://www.louvre.fr|<font color=skyblue>The Official Louvre Website</font>]'''	+
-		+
-	*'''[http://www.ape-o-naut.org/famous|<font color=darkgreen>A History of Famous Monkeys</font>''']	+
-		+
-	*'''[http://anthro.palomar.edu/primate/prim_4.htm|<font color=limegreen>Monkey Knowledge</font>''']	+

---

Current revision as of 03:57, 25 July 2007

Man! It's been like, over a freaking year, and there's still no re-imaginin' going on for this user page! No graphics, no funny statements, no funny questions! Not even a miserable italicized word!

That's better.

[edit] The Failure of Imagination (Or, Why No One Should Ever Compose Streams of Consciousness)

DISCLAIMER: None of the following is true, nor is it endorsed by the Homestar Runner Wiki, employees of SOGLO, Ltd., or any sandals, anywhere. Maybe Teva sandals, but that would be the exception.

The Smoking Monkey thinks that when angels cry, this means Vlad Guerrero has a season-ending MCL injury. When someone says, "I Can't!" he replies ,"not the Immanuel Kant, philosopher extrordinaire?" He believes firmly that everything Homestar says is really a coded message somehow linked to that piece of tire he once saw on Route 95. He feels it's not always right to hold the door open for little old ladies - what is he, a professional doorman? No, no, no. He is, was, and shall be a proponent for getting manatees put on restaurant menus, expunging the word "crotchless" from the English language, and tapioca. Lots of thick, rich, tapioca.

Dee-lish.

— THE SMOKING MONKEY 03:57, 25 July 2007 (UTC)