stunt double

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{{sbenav|80}}
{{sbenav|80}}
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[[Image:sbemail80.png|thumb|"Sounds Dangeresque..."]]
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[[Image:sbemail80.png|thumb|"Sounds Dangerkeksque..."]]
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{{aboutemail}} {{forcharacter|The Stunt Double}}
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{{aboutemail}} {{forcharacter|The Cunt Double}}
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Louis wonders if Strong Bad has ever used a stunt double. Strong Bad responds by showing clips from his latest movie, ''Dangeresque 2: This Time, It's Not Dangeresque 1''.
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<strike>Louis</strike> Lucy wonders if Strong Bad has ever used a cunt double. Strong Bad responds by showing clips from his gayest movie, ''Dangerkeksque 2: This Time, It's Probably Dangerkeksque 1''.
'''Cast (in order of appearance):'''  
'''Cast (in order of appearance):'''  
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*{{Film|Strong Bad}} as [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]]  
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*{{Film|Strong Bad}} as [[Dangerkeksque (character)|Dangerkeksque]]  
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*{{Film|Coach Z}} as [[Renaldo]]  
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*{{Film|Coach Z}} as [[Ronald McDonald]]  
*{{Film|Strong Mad}}
*{{Film|Strong Mad}}
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*{{Film|Strong Sad}} ([[The Stunt Double]])   
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*{{Film|Strong Sad}} ([[The Cunt Double]])   
*{{Film|Homestar Runner}} as A guy in the background
*{{Film|Homestar Runner}} as A guy in the background
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*{{Film|Bubs}} as [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]]  
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*{{Film|Bubs}} as [[Baron Darin Testiculus]]  
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*{{Film|The Cheat}}  
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*{{Film|The Cheese}}  
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*{{Film|Marzipan}} as [[Cutesy Buttons]]
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*{{Film|Marzipan}} as [[Cutesy Boobies]]
 +
*{{Film|John Wayne Gacy}}
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'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Smoky Office]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]], [[Basement of the Brothers Strong]], [[The Field]]
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'''Places:''' [[Hell]]
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'''Computer:''' [[Compy 386]]
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'''Computer:''' [[Cocky 666]]
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'''Date:''' Monday, July 21, 2003
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'''Date:''' 1337 AD
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'''Running Time:''' 2:17
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'''Running Time:''' More than 2:17
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'''Page Title:''' Compy 386!!
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'''Page Title:''' Cocky 666!!
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{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Two}}, {{dvd|Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD|notitle=true}}
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{{dvd|strongbad_shemail.exe Disc Jew}}, {{dvd|Shemails' 50 Greatest Shits CED|notitle=true}}
== Transcript ==
== Transcript ==
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'''STRONG BAD''': ''{singing}'' Oh, I took the email to the market, and I bought it some kind of fish sauce.
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'''STRONG BAD''': ''{singing}'' Oh, I took the shemail to the market, and I bought it some shit.
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''{reading email}''
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''{reading shemail}''
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<blockquote class="compy email">Hello Strong Bad,<br />
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<blockquote class="compy email">Hello Strad Bong,<br />
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I'm a long time watcher first time<br />
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I'm a no time watcher first time<br />
writer. I was wondering if you ever<br />
writer. I was wondering if you ever<br />
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use a stunt double.<br />
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use a cunt double.<br />
<br />
<br />
Your whatever,<br />
Your whatever,<br />
Louis</blockquote>
Louis</blockquote>
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{''After reading "I'm a long time watcher first time writer", Strong Bad says, "Ooh, an LTWFTW!". He then proceeds to read "I was just wondering" although the word "just" is not present in the original text of the email. Then he reads the sender's name as "Luis. Er, Lewis. Louie."''}
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{''After reading "I'm a no time watcher first time writer", Strong Bad says, "Ooh, an NTWFTW!". He then proceeds to read "I was just wondering" although the word "just" is not present in the original text of the email. Then he reads the sender's name as "Luis. Er, Lewis. Lucy."''}
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' A stunt double?!? No way, Lucy! Only big wusses and lesser wimps use stunt doubles. I've always done my own stunt work. Check me out in this summer blockbuster we just finished. It's called ''Dangeresque 2: This time, it's not Dangeresque 1''.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' What's a cunt double? Is that some sort of weeaboo fetish thing? That's gay, Lucy. Oh wait, a cunt double?!? No way! Only big pussies and lesser chimps use cunt doubles. I've always done my own cunt work. Check me out in this summer cockbuster we just finished. It's called ''Dangerkeksque 2: This time, it's probably the same as Dangerkeksque 1''. It's ''literally'' a cockbuster, by the way. So prepare to get some tissues in case you're about to cum.
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''{A cue card is held up with the title: ''Dangeresque II: This Time, It's Not Dangeresque 1''. Then a newspaper is shown. The headline has been covered with a piece of paper that says, "'''MiSSiNG TAPE STOLEN!!!''' Dangeresque seen on the case. For real." Cut to an office scene with Strong Bad, wearing sunglasses, and Coach Z, wearing a turban that has a fez precariously perched on top.}''
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''{A jew card is held up with the title: ''Dangerkeksque Jew: This Time, It's Probably the Same as Dangerkeksque Won''. Then a newspaper is shown. The headline has been covered with a piece of shit that says, "'''MiSSiNG DILDO STOLEN!!!''' Dangerkeksque seen on the case. For real." Cut to an orifice scene with Strong Bad, wearing sunglasses, and Coach Z, wearing a turban that has a red dildo precariously perched on top.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' It's not going to be easy finding that missing tape.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' It's not going to be easy finding that missing dildo.
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'''COACH Z:''' Well, Dangeresque, if anyone can do it, I'm sure you can.
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'''COACH Z:''' Well, Dangercum, Dangerlube, Dangerfield, uh what was your name aga-
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'''STRONG BAD:''' You're right, Renaldo. But the elevator's broken in this building. So I'm gonna have to ''jump''! ''{makes a jumping motion}''
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*outtake*
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''{Cut to Strong Sad, wearing a paper bag with Strong Bad's face drawn on it on his head and oven mitts, standing on top of a ladder on the roof of Bubs' Concession Stand. He is pushed off and falls into a wading pool marked "shark pond!".  The shot is then edited so that it's Strong Bad walking away. One of Strong Sad's oven mitts can be seen behind the concession stand. Cut to Strong Bad's basement, where Strong Bad and Strong Mad are standing.}''
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'''COACH Z:''' Well, Dangerkeksque, if anyone can't do it,  
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Either give me that tape, or punch me in the face!
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''{Coach Z says "do it" again, as Shia LaBeouf appears yelling "DO IT!"}''
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''{Strong Mad punches. Edit to Strong Sad (as always, wearing the Strong Bad paper bag), who gets punched in the face and goes flying back. We hear a crashing sound.}''
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I'm sure you can't.
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'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' You're right, Ronald. But the elevator's broken in this anus. So I'm gonna have to ''kill myself''! ''{makes a jumping motion}''
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''{Cut to the field. Strong Bad is holding a ping-pong paddle. Behind him are the missing tape and Homestar.}''
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''{Cuck to Strong Sad, wearing a fleshlight with Strong Bad's face drawn on it on his head and oven tits, standing on top of a ladder on the roof of Bubs' CoCsexsion Stats. He is pushed off and falls onto the ground, dying in the process.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Where is that tape?
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*outtake*
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''{Homestar realizes he can be seen and moves away. Cut to Bubs, wearing a monocle and holding The Cheat.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' So I'm gonna have to ''jump''! ''{pause}'' Into ''cum''! ''{makes a jizzing motion}''
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'''BUBS:''' Welcome to oblivion, Danger-skew! ''{pulls a lever}''
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''{Cuck to Strong Sad, wearing a fleshlight with Strong Bad's face drawn on it on his head and oven tits, standing on top of a ladder on the roof of Bubs' CoCsexsion Stats. He is pushed off and falls into a pool filled with semen that is marked "shark lube!". The shot is then edited so that it's Strong Bad cocking away. One of Strong Sad's oven tits can be seen behind the concession stand. Cut to Strong Bad's basement, where Strong Bad and Strong Mad are statsing.}''
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''{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the field, then edit to Strong Sad. A Heavy Lourde falls on Strong Sad.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Either give me that dildo, or punch me in the dick!
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'''STRONG SAD:''' Ow. That's what I like to call a broken neck.
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''{Strong Mad punches. Edit to Strong Sad (as always, wearing the Strong Bad fleshlight), who gets punched in the penis and goes flying into the World Trade Center.}''
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''{Cut to Strong Bad and Marzipan in the field.}''
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*outtake*
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'''MARZIPAN:''' I won't watch you die, Dangeresque.  
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''{Strong Mad punches. Edit to Strong Sad (as always, wearing the Strong Bad fleshlight), who gets punched in the penis and goes flying back. We hear a crashing sound.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't worry, Cutesy Buttons. Tonight, dying's not on the menu. So I'm gonna have to ''jump''!
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'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow.
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''{Strong Sad is once again pushed off of Bubs' Concession Stand. This time the pool is marked "Pie Factory", though for a split second after Strong Sad lands in it the sign changes back to "shark pond!". Edit to Strong Bad walking away. Cut back to the office.}''
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''{Cut to the fielf. Strong Bad is holding a ping-pong paddle. Behind him are the missing dildo and Homestar.}''
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'''COACH Z:''' Sounds pretty dangerous.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Where is that dildo?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns around}'' No... sounds ''Dangeresque''!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uhh.. the fuck is a dildo?
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''{Cut back to the Compy.}''
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''{Cut to Bubs, wearing a testicle on his left eye and holding The Cheese.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Okay, you can all return from the edge of your seats. Wow, watching that gives me goosebumps every time, man. I mean, the stunts I do are so ''{pause}'' done by me. And remember to watch out in June 2004 for ''{stops typing as a logo appears for:}'' "Dangeresque 3: ''The Criminal Projective.''" In 3D! ''{"3D" is added to the logo and the screen becomes drawn in red and blue lines like a 3D movie.}''
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'''BUBS:''' Welcome to Hell, Danger-jew! ''{stretches his penis with his hand}''
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''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''
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''{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the field, then edit to Strong Sad. A Heavy Lourde crashes down in Strong Sad. Cut to Strong Bad and Marzipan in the field.}''
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==Easter Eggs==
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'''MARZIPAN:''' I won't watch you die, Dangerkeksque.  
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*At the very end, click on the big "3D" part of the logo.
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:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, I'm in 3D! Check out all my dimensions. I have height, width... and now, for a limited time only... depth!
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*After the 3D spiel, click on the words "watch out" for more 3D action.
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:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns to the camera}'' Who needs diskettes? ''{flings floppy disks at the camera}'' Brreow, brreow, krreow! ''{Holds up another floppy}'' Hey, you want this disk? ''{pulls it back}'' Well you can't have it. ''{holds it up again}'' No you j' di' take it. ''{pulls it back}'' No, you can't have it. ''{taunts the viewer by holding up and pulling back the floppy repeatedly}'' No—don't—take—have it.
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== Fun Facts ==
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't worry, Cutesy Boobies. Tonight, dying's tot... did I just say "tot"?
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===Explanations===
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*outtake*
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*[[Wikipedia:Fish sauce|Fish sauce]] (also called "Nuoc Mam", "Patis", or "Nam Pla") is a salty sauce made from fermented seafood, integral in Southeast Asian cooking.
+
-
*Strong Bad saying "Ooh, an LTWFTW" is taken from most call-in radio shows, when some people say LTFT or LTLFTC, meaning ''Long Time First Time'' and ''Long Time Listener, First Time Caller'', respectively.
+
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*Bubs plays the stereotypical evil genius, later named [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] in ''[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]'', with a [[Wikipedia:monocle|monocle]] and a furry pet under one arm. [[Wikipedia:Ernst Blofeld|Ernst Blofeld]] from the James Bond movies is an early example of this, with characters like [[Wikipedia:Dr. Evil|Dr. Evil]] and [[Wikipedia:Doctor Claw|Dr. Claw]] following the same formula.
+
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:*Furthermore, Diamonocle mispronounces Dangeresque's name as "Danger-skew," as though trying to read it phonetically and failing horribly.
+
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===Trivia===
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Tonight, dying's on the menu right now. So I'm gonna have to ''kill myself''! Oh wait...
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*The title of the [[Periodicals|newspaper]] is "The Local Newspapes."
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**The newspaper article reads:
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<blockquote>The Lemmer was treated for polar bear<br>
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related injuries shortly after the 4th<br>
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-
inning shenanigans. Officials say the<br>
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bear 'wandered on down' from the North<br>
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Pole with rich, creamy nougat on its<br>
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mind. Nay-sayers have dismissed this as<br>
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dismissable citing, "I think it might be<br>
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just an inflatable polar bear, actually."<br>
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The young gun was unavailable for a<br>
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Young Guns 2 screening that took place<br>
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in my basement a few months ago and I<br>
+
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haven't forgiven him since. Seriously,<br>
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Mark, I don't know what's up. We used to be so close and now you're acting all</blockquote>
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*This is accompanied by a picture of some [[Wikipedia:Atlanta Braves|Atlanta Braves]] (one of whom is [[LEMKE|Mark Lemke]]) on a baseball field with a polar bear digitally added in the background.
+
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[[image:strongbad_3d_crosseyed.png|400px|thumb|Monochrome 3D image for cross-eyed viewing]]
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*The scene does appear three-dimensional, to a degree, if one looks through [[Wikipedia:Stereoscopy#3D glasses|3D glasses]].
+
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**For the effect to work, the blue filter has to be over the left eye. Most glasses would have to be turned around to achieve this.
+
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**The blue and red parts of the image are not horizontally aligned. This will make most people nauseated when they view the scene with 3D glasses.
+
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*To promote [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]], this video was added to the Wii [http://us.wii.com/channel_nintendo.jsp Nintendo Channel] on November 17, 2008.
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*outtake*
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===Remarks===
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Tonight, dying's not on the menu. So I'm gonna have to ''jump''! Into ''cum''!
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*The paper bag on Strong Sad's head has a picture of Strong Bad without the trademark sunglasses, even though he's supposed to look like Dangeresque.
+
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*Strong Sad's belly button is missing, possibly because he's standing in for Strong Bad, whose belly button is not visible.
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*The reflection lines on Bubs's character's monocle's reflection lines look exactly like the ones on Coach Z's Z emblem.
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*Baron Darin Diamonocle was not named until [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]].
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===Goofs===
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''{Strong Sad is once again pushed off of Bubs' CoCsexsion Stats. This time the pool of cum is marked "Condom Factory", though for a shit second after Strong Sad lands in it the sign changes back to "shark lube!". Edit to Strong Bad walking away. Cut back to the office.}''
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*When the scene turns 3D, Strong Bad's reflection has the colors in the same order as his non-reflected self, which makes his reflection appear in front of the screen. But to be reflected properly (behind the screen) the red should be to the left of the blue.
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*The diskette Strong Bad offers during the Easter egg is floating in midair, not being held by a hand.
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===Inside References===
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'''COACH Z:''' Sounds pretty dangerous.  
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*Strong Bad wore the [[oven mitts]] in the cartoon [[In Search Of The Yello Dello]], the [[Homestar Quiz]], and [[halloweener]]; however, this time, Strong Sad wears them, to imitate Strong Bad's gloves.
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*The monocle Bubs wears is similar to the monocles of [[The Announcer]] and [[The Barbershop Trio]].
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*The [[Heavy Lourde]] that falls on Strong Sad's head originally appeared in [[homsar]].
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*The [[Crack in the Wall]] is visible.
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===Real-World References===
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns around}'' No... sounds ''Dangerkeksque''!
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*The baseball field in the newspaper photo is [[Wikipedia: Fenway Park|Fenway Park]].
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*Coach Z (Renaldo's) turban with downturned moon and star and fez hat are similar to the uniform worn by the [[Wikipedia:Shriners|Shriners of North America]].
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*According to the commentary on the DVD, the "[[Pie Factory]]" is a reference to the name of the second level of the arcade game [[Wikipedia:Donkey Kong (arcade game)|''Donkey Kong'']], which was omitted from many home versions of the game, usually due to memory constraints.
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*The subtitle of the movie (This time it's not Dangeresque 1) might be a take on "This time it's personal", the subtitle on the movie [[Wikipedia:Jaws 4|''Jaws 4'']].
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*''[[wikipedia:Young Guns II|Young Guns II]]'', mentioned in the newspaper article, is a 1990 film.
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===Fast Forward===
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''{Cut back to the Compy.}''
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*The theme from the summer blockbuster ''Dangeresque 2: This Time It's Not Dangeresque 1'' (instrumental bits of which can be heard in the email) is featured on [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]].
+
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*While ''Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective'' was not released (or even started on) by June 2004, loyal Dangeresque fans were offered the Digitally Remastered Version of ''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?'' as a [[cop-out]] in [[dangeresque 3]].
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**A movie poster for ''Dangeresque 3'' is shown in [[the movie theater]] lobby in [[the movies]]. It is worth noting that it has no fixed release date, yet the frame around the poster still displays it as "Now Playing".
+
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*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] is finally released (in 3D CGI) in November 2008 as episode 4 of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]].
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**An [[Dangeresque: THREE in 3D|anaglyph 3D version]] appears on the [[SBCG4AP Collector's DVD]] released July 2009.
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+
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== DVD Version ==
+
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*The way to access the Easter eggs has changed slightly. The hidden Strong Bad icon on the bottom center-right takes you to the first Easter egg where Strong Bad mentions he now has "depth" for a limited time, while the Strong Bad icon on the bottom center-left takes you to the flying diskettes.
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*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
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**Note that the actual cartoon dialogue in the background is improperly synced to the toon during the commentary.
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===Commentary Transcript===
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('''Commentary by:''' [[Matt Chapman]], [[Mike Chapman]])
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'''MATT:''' Uh, do...do your impression of that guy from the Lord of the Rings commentary, Mike. That effects guy.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{Laughs} {imitating "the effects guy"}'' We were going to go to New Zealand and write. ''{Himself again, laughing}'' What's that guy's name, Richard—
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'''MATT:''' Richard Taylor.
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah. He's a good one.
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'''MATT:''' Yeah. Uh...
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'''MIKE:''' ''{imitating Richard Taylor}'' Gollum really surpassed everything that had come before him...in effects.
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'''MATT:''' ''{Laughs}'' Um, sounds kinda like Robin Leach.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah, that—
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'''MATT:''' ''{Laughs again}'' Uh, so, this is how— where Dangeresque came from, eh, Mike?
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'''MIKE:''' That's true. Dangeresque.
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'''MATT:''' What was... uh... it was originally just Danger Man, wasn't he? And then we found out there was already some other thing called Danger Man?
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'''MIKE:''' Oh yeah, there was, I think, Patrick McGoohan. Maybe...
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'''MATT:''' James Doohan.
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+
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'''MIKE:''' Uh, maybe that—
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'''MATT:''' Well, there's the Lemerke...Mark Lemke.
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'''MIKE:''' Mark Lemke.
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'''MATT:''' Mark Lemke, everyone. Mark Lemke, from the Atlanta Braves. There you go.
+
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'''MIKE:''' Uh, so there's Renaldo wearing both a turban and a Fez.
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'''MATT:''' And that was our friend Chris's tattoo of the... what was it? The symbol for the New Orleans Police—
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'''MIKE:''' Police department.
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'''MATT:''' —is the little emblem on his head, there, with the star and the moon.
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'''MIKE:''' Uh, later, uh, that becomes— the Shark Pond becomes the Pie Factory. ''{Matt laughs}'' Which is a reference to, uh, the fourth board in Donkey Kong.
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'''MATT:''' Yeah. Which is clearly supposed to be cement?
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah. It's amazing, because—
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''{unintelligible}''
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'''MATT:''' —the graphics weren't very conducive ''{Mike laughs}'' to making you think of cement.
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'''MIKE:''' It didn't really look any more like pies than it did cement, though.
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'''MATT:''' Eh, but it had— they were in those little, like, what looked like a pie tin that it was in.
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''{Pause}''
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'''MATT:''' Uh, I don't know what else to say.
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'''MIKE:''' Look, it flashed.
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'''MATT:''' Shark Factory. Or Shark Pit. Or—
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'''MIKE:''' —pond—
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'''MATT:''' —for a second there. It was poor, poor flashing.
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'''MIKE:''' Yes. On our part. Um, we were going to do the whole episode— the whole episode in 3D at one point.
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'''MATT:''' Yeah. It's a good thing that we decided not to, though.
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah, this is much better to have. ''{unintelligible}''
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'''MATT:''' We would've given everyone a headache.
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'''MIKE:''' ...for a while. Yeah.
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'''MATT:''' I'm leaning too close again.
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'''MIKE:''' Sorry.
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'''MATT:''' It's my fault.
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===Fun Facts===
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Okay, you can all return from the edge of your asses. Wow, watching that gives me an erection every time, man. I mean, the cunts I do are so ''{pause}'' done by me. And remember to watch out in Jew 5089 AD for ''{stops typing as a logo appears for:}'' "Dangerkeksque 3: ''The Criminal ProKEKtive.''" In 3D! ''{"3D" is added to the logo and the screen becomes drawn in red and blue lines like a 3D movie.}''
-
*Mike imitates [[Wikipedia:Richard Taylor|Richard Taylor]], founder of [[Wikipedia:Weta Workshop|Weta Workshop]], the company which handled all of the props and costumes for [[Wikipedia:The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy|The Lord of the Rings movies]]. Taylor spoke in the commentaries for the DVD releases of these movies.
+
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*[[Wikipedia:Gollum|Gollum]] is a character from The Lord of the Rings. In the movies, the character was portrayed with computer animation overlaid on actor [[Wiki:Andy Serkis|Andy Serkis']] performance, and was considered a groundbreaking special effect, which Mike references in his fake commentary.
+
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*[[Wikipedia:Robin Leach|Robin Leach]] was the host of [[Wikipedia:Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous|Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous]].
+
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*[[Wikipedia:Danger Man|''Danger Man'']] was a British television series about a secret agent played by [[Wikipedia:Patrick McGoohan|Patrick McGoohan]].
+
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*[[Wikipedia:James Doohan|James Doohan]] was an actor most famous for playing Chief Engineer Montgomery "[[Wikipedia:Montgomery Scott|Scotty]]" Scott on [[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]].
+
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*The Brothers Chaps incorrectly state that the fourth level of ''Donkey Kong'' is the pie factory. It is actually the second level.
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== External Links ==
+
''{[[The Paper]] cums.}''
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{{extlinks|sbemail80|youtube=cjz1ab3oauI}}
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{{Dangeresque}}
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{{Strong Bad Email}}[[Category:Dangeresque]][[Category:Compy 386 Emails]][[Category: Emails With DVD Commentary]][[Category:Podstar Runner]][[Category: Nintendo Channel|Stunt Double]]
+

Revision as of 19:21, 27 November 2017

Strong Bad Email #80
watch ← the process date →
"Sounds Dangerkeksque..."
This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the character, see The Cunt Double.

Louis Lucy wonders if Strong Bad has ever used a cunt double. Strong Bad responds by showing clips from his gayest movie, Dangerkeksque 2: This Time, It's Probably Dangerkeksque 1.

Cast (in order of appearance):

Places: Hell

Computer: Cocky 666

Date: 1337 AD

Running Time: More than 2:17

Page Title: Cocky 666!!

DVD: strongbad_shemail.exe Disc Jew, Shemails' 50 Greatest Shits CED

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Oh, I took the shemail to the market, and I bought it some shit.

{reading shemail}

{After reading "I'm a no time watcher first time writer", Strong Bad says, "Ooh, an NTWFTW!". He then proceeds to read "I was just wondering" although the word "just" is not present in the original text of the email. Then he reads the sender's name as "Luis. Er, Lewis. Lucy."}

STRONG BAD: {typing} What's a cunt double? Is that some sort of weeaboo fetish thing? That's gay, Lucy. Oh wait, a cunt double?!? No way! Only big pussies and lesser chimps use cunt doubles. I've always done my own cunt work. Check me out in this summer cockbuster we just finished. It's called Dangerkeksque 2: This time, it's probably the same as Dangerkeksque 1. It's literally a cockbuster, by the way. So prepare to get some tissues in case you're about to cum.

{A jew card is held up with the title: Dangerkeksque Jew: This Time, It's Probably the Same as Dangerkeksque Won. Then a newspaper is shown. The headline has been covered with a piece of shit that says, "MiSSiNG DILDO STOLEN!!! Dangerkeksque seen on the case. For real." Cut to an orifice scene with Strong Bad, wearing sunglasses, and Coach Z, wearing a turban that has a red dildo precariously perched on top.}

STRONG BAD: It's not going to be easy finding that missing dildo.

COACH Z: Well, Dangercum, Dangerlube, Dangerfield, uh what was your name aga-

  • outtake*

COACH Z: Well, Dangerkeksque, if anyone can't do it,

{Coach Z says "do it" again, as Shia LaBeouf appears yelling "DO IT!"}

I'm sure you can't.

STRONG BAD: You're right, Ronald. But the elevator's broken in this anus. So I'm gonna have to kill myself! {makes a jumping motion}

{Cuck to Strong Sad, wearing a fleshlight with Strong Bad's face drawn on it on his head and oven tits, standing on top of a ladder on the roof of Bubs' CoCsexsion Stats. He is pushed off and falls onto the ground, dying in the process.}

  • outtake*

STRONG BAD: So I'm gonna have to jump! {pause} Into cum! {makes a jizzing motion}

{Cuck to Strong Sad, wearing a fleshlight with Strong Bad's face drawn on it on his head and oven tits, standing on top of a ladder on the roof of Bubs' CoCsexsion Stats. He is pushed off and falls into a pool filled with semen that is marked "shark lube!". The shot is then edited so that it's Strong Bad cocking away. One of Strong Sad's oven tits can be seen behind the concession stand. Cut to Strong Bad's basement, where Strong Bad and Strong Mad are statsing.}

STRONG BAD: Either give me that dildo, or punch me in the dick!

{Strong Mad punches. Edit to Strong Sad (as always, wearing the Strong Bad fleshlight), who gets punched in the penis and goes flying into the World Trade Center.}

  • outtake*

{Strong Mad punches. Edit to Strong Sad (as always, wearing the Strong Bad fleshlight), who gets punched in the penis and goes flying back. We hear a crashing sound.}

STRONG SAD: {off-screen} Ow.

{Cut to the fielf. Strong Bad is holding a ping-pong paddle. Behind him are the missing dildo and Homestar.}

STRONG BAD: Where is that dildo?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhh.. the fuck is a dildo?

{Cut to Bubs, wearing a testicle on his left eye and holding The Cheese.}

BUBS: Welcome to Hell, Danger-jew! {stretches his penis with his hand}

{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the field, then edit to Strong Sad. A Heavy Lourde crashes down in Strong Sad. Cut to Strong Bad and Marzipan in the field.}

MARZIPAN: I won't watch you die, Dangerkeksque.

STRONG BAD: Don't worry, Cutesy Boobies. Tonight, dying's tot... did I just say "tot"?

  • outtake*

Tonight, dying's on the menu right now. So I'm gonna have to kill myself! Oh wait...

  • outtake*

STRONG BAD: Tonight, dying's not on the menu. So I'm gonna have to jump! Into cum!

{Strong Sad is once again pushed off of Bubs' CoCsexsion Stats. This time the pool of cum is marked "Condom Factory", though for a shit second after Strong Sad lands in it the sign changes back to "shark lube!". Edit to Strong Bad walking away. Cut back to the office.}

COACH Z: Sounds pretty dangerous.

STRONG BAD: {turns around} No... sounds Dangerkeksque!

{Cut back to the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Okay, you can all return from the edge of your asses. Wow, watching that gives me an erection every time, man. I mean, the cunts I do are so {pause} done by me. And remember to watch out in Jew 5089 AD for {stops typing as a logo appears for:} "Dangerkeksque 3: The Criminal ProKEKtive." In 3D! {"3D" is added to the logo and the screen becomes drawn in red and blue lines like a 3D movie.}

{The Paper cums.}

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