Editing History according to Strong Bad

'''History according to Strong Bad''' is a tricky thing. [[high school|By his own admission]], [[Strong Bad]] has a “doodle memory”, meaning that his recollection of past events is often far less accurate and more exaggerated compared to how such events played out in reality. Resultantly, he often presents things as historical fact that either [[Blatant Lies|can't be verified]] or have been {{w|Historical negationism|revised}} to make him look better. The toons listed below exhibit instances of Strong Bad’s questionable concept of history.

Strong Bad explains [[Strong Badia]]'s origins. Portraying himself as a {{w|Pilgrim}} persecuted by [[Strong Sad]] for his [[egg]]-[[ketchup]]ing ways, he describes leaving [[Free Country, USA]] to set up a new colony in an empty lot behind the dumpsters, owned by [[Bubs]]. In addition, Bubs is portrayed as a "strange man who had strange ways and strange odors" with an appearance resembling that of a Native American. They later celebrate Strong Badia's first Thanksgiving at a nearby picnic table with some leftover {{w|Hardee's}} burgers.

Strong Bad is asked something that he thinks he has been asked before: given his knowledge on the ladies, can he provide any tips on lady...ing. He states this might be the first email he ever checked, and The Cheat answers this by playing it on a [[laserdisc]]. The email is presented in the same style as [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]], as well as the same boxing ring, in which Strong Bad answers this question, asked by Fabrosi. Strong Bad claims not to have competition where the ladies are concerned. He then proceeds to explain the lowdown on lady...ing, with questionable results. In an Easter egg, Homestar partially takes some of the advice from the toon.

Marc Baroni asks Strong Bad what happened to the "get up noise" his chair made when he got up.  After confirming that its true name is [[The Geddup Noise]], Strong Bad recalls that the Geddup Noise started acquiring fame around the time of the creation of Sbemail 84 ([[kids' book]]).  Eventually, it became popular enough to guest star on [[The Show]] and [[Radio Stations and Shows#The AM Morning "CRUDE" Crew|The AM Morning "CRUDE" Crew]], among other shows.  The Cheat remixed the Geddup Noise for dance clubs, and characters such as [[The King of Town]] and Strong Bad tried to make cheap knock-offs, including "The Standing Up Noise" and "The Git Outcha Seat Sound", respectively.  Eventually, the Geddup Noise moved to the Coches Mountains.  Now, its cousin Chairscoot plays the sound of Strong Bad's stool while the Geddup Noise occasionally makes odd celebrity endorsements.

===[[high school]]===

Strong Bad explains the characters' younger days, though he disclaims that his memory is extremely "unphotographic", and, therefore, stating that his histories are unreliable. In high school, the characters filled the stereotypical roles for old cartoons about teenagers (a la ''{{w|Scooby-Doo}}'') as a late '60s/early '70s-style [[The Homestar Runner Mysfit-steries|gang of mystery solvers]]. Before that, in middle school, they were all imaginative "melon-headed babies", occupying their time pretending to be living their dreams (in reference to ''{{w|Muppet Babies (1984 TV series)|Muppet Babies}}''). Homestar is portrayed as some kind of grown adult supervisor. Before that, the gang were a bunch of microscopic single-celled organisms living in a [[Free Country, USA#Free Petry Dish USA|petri dish]]. And yet before that, they were all Romans, living in {{w|Ancient Rome|Roman times}}, with [[Don Knotts]] always showing up.

Strong Bad details the legends surrounding the [[Bear holding a Shark]]. According to Strong Bad, much of the Bear-Shark's origins can be seen in the constellations over [[Strong Badia]], which show the [[Strong Badia's Seven Elemental Spirits|seven elemental spirits of Strong Badia]]: a [[flag day|snake]], a guy holding a [[Big Knives|big knife]], a box of [[General Tso's Chicken|chicken]], a piece of wood with some nails in it, a hand giving the "OK" symbol, a fish wearing an afro wig, and a British distance runner. The distance runner held up the fish with the afro wig over his head, and the two defeated the other spirits in either paintball or Red Rover, thus becoming the new rulers. After years of bad story telling and the {{w|Chinese whispers|telephone game}}, the myth went through various incarnations, as evidenced by various documentary-type evidence, ranging from medieval wood carvings of a hairy "wildernessman" with a "sea beast", to a cathedral-style stained glass window of a moose holding a chameleon in its antlers. Strong Bad then researches some "ancient {{w|Cave painting|fence drawings}}" on the Strong Badian picket fence, which consist of strange images of the Bear-Shark destroying villages and crops, stealing babies, and bike riding (or pie-sitting) with what appears to be its family. The drawings were actually done by Strong Bad at age 5, though he has long forgotten this. Bubs begins selling Bear-Shark merchandise such as t-shirts, frozen treats and plush toys. Homestar manages to capture (or forge) blurry {{w|Patterson–Gimlin film|Bigfoot-style}} footage of what may be the Bear-Shark in the woods, but this only adds to the question of whether the Bear-Shark is a "mysterious myth or legendary legend".

Strong Bad's wrestling career is shown to be much more colorful than has been revealed before. He and Strong Mad went through several costume phases. The events in [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]] are not mentioned. Homestar's tag-team partner was claimed to be (the imaginary) Gary the Legend instead of Pom Pom. Strong Sad is also featured as Gardenboy, a wrestler with a rake and a fire-spewing water can.

When Strong Bad viewed a picture of a kid in a Strong Bad costume next to a girl in a punk cheerleader costume and a boy in a Ghostface costume, he states that this is actually a picture of his past, and that the girl was his girlfriend, Pirate Cheerleader, and that the Ghostface boy was his best friend, the Grim Reaper. He also said that they used to terrorize the streets of Meadowbrook Chase Two Hills.

[[Category:Strong Badia]]

[[Category:Strong Bad Research]]