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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Where My Hat Is At? (toon). watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="wheremyhat.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="23" end="99" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="100" end="135">
<homestar>If there's two things I know about the Homestar Runner,</homestar></line>
<line start="136" end="184">
<homestar>it's that everybody loves the him and he's a terrific athlete.</homestar></line>
<line start="198" end="236" speaker="homestar">All right, Marzipan! I'm off to the big game!</line>
<line start="237" end="258" speaker="marzipan">Hey, where's your hat, Homestar?</line>
<line start="259" end="290" speaker="homestar">I'm sorry, I couldn't understand what you just said.</line>
<line start="291" end="309" speaker="marzipan">I said, "Where's your hat?"</line>
<line start="310" end="343" speaker="homestar">Yeah, you're not even speaking English at this point.</line>
<line start="344" end="353" speaker="marzipan" sfx="yes">sighs</line>
<line start="354" end="396" speaker="marzipan">I mean, where your hat is at, Homestar?</line>
<line start="397" end="413" speaker="homestar">Hey, good question!</line>
<line start="414" end="460" speaker="homestar">Without my hat, I won't be allowed to play in the big game.</line>
<line start="461" end="491" speaker="marzipan">Well good! Then you can start mowing the lawn and-</line>
<line start="492" end="509" speaker="homestar">Let's look under the couch!</line>
<line start="510" end="516" speaker="marzipan" sfx="yes">screams</line>
<line start="529" end="550" speaker="homestar">It isn't under the couch.</line>
<line start="560" end="600" speaker="homestar">Or, on top of the teleset, governor!</line>
<line start="600" end="640">
<homestar>Where my hat is at?</homestar></line>
<line start="650" end="677" speaker="homestar">Whew! It's not in the pool.</line>
<line start="678" end="717" speaker="homestar">But, I did find this Strong Sad brand concrete block!</line>
<line start="718" end="768" speaker="strongsad">Thanks for saving me, mister! Can I obsess over you now?</line>
<line start="769" end="796" speaker="strongbad">Of all the dumb luck in the woild!</line>
<line start="813" end="836" speaker="homestar">It isn't cooking on the grill?</line>
<line start="837" end="906" speaker="homestar">Man, I really thought it'd make complete sense if my non-edible hat would be cooking on a food grill!</line>
<line start="907" end="947">
<homestar>Where my hat is at?</homestar></line>
<line start="963" end="1002" speaker="homestar">Bangers and mash! It isn't in the post box, either!</line>
<line start="1008" end="1055" speaker="homestar">Or under this auto that I always all the time drive around.</line>
<line start="1056" end="1077" speaker="homestar">And call an auto.</line>
<line start="1078" end="1124">
<homestar>Where my hat is at?</homestar></line>
<line start="1127" end="1149" speaker="homestar">Come on, Pom Pom, just gimme your hat?</line>
<line start="1150" end="1177" speaker="homestar">Everybody knows I've got bigger game than you.</line>
<line start="1178" end="1231" speaker="homestar">Oh! How about a trade? You let me borrow your hat, I let you borrow my jock.</line>
<line start="1232" end="1246" speaker="pompom">angry bubbling</line>
<line start="1247" end="1264" speaker="homestar">Oh, never mind!</line>
<line start="1271" end="1326" speaker="coachz">You lost a prat of your uniform!? Well, it's like I always say.</line>
<line start="1327" end="1410" speaker="coachz">A man's uniform is like a temple, wherein he keeps his uniform when he's not using it.</line>
<line start="1411" end="1466" speaker="homestar">Um, are you suggesting that my hat is inside my hat?</line>
<line start="1467" end="1486" speaker="coachz">No, I'm suggesting that-</line>
<line start="1487" end="1516" speaker="homestar">Well good, 'cause I already looked and it's not there.</line>
<line start="1524" end="1547" speaker="bubs">Shrug. I haven't seen it!</line>
<line start="1548" end="1593" speaker="bubs">Nobody's tried to sell me any stolen hats this half hour!</line>
<line start="1594" end="1626" speaker="bubs">I do have this stolen wig, though.</line>
<line start="1634" end="1688" speaker="umpire">If you can't find your hat, you're not allowed to play in the big game!</line>
<line start="1689" end="1731" speaker="homestar">Um, yeah, we sorta established that in the first scene.</line>
<line start="1732" end="1743" speaker="homestar">But thanks anyways.</line>
<line start="1750" end="1753" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="1753" end="1808">
<homestar>It looks like I won't be able to play, then.</homestar>
<line start="1809" end="1865" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="1866" end="1927" speaker="homestar">I could really go for a few Cold Ones right about now.</line>
<line start="1928" end="1967" speaker="homestar">Hmm, it feels like something is strange here...</line>
<line start="1968" end="2005" speaker="homestar">but I can't seem to put my finger on-</line>
<line start="2006" end="2042">
<homestar><u>There</u> my hat is at!</homestar></line>
<line start="2043" end="2082" speaker="homestar">Right between the milk and the Colden Ones.</line>
<line start="2083" end="2117" speaker="homestar">I must've left it in there when I put my hat in the fridge.</line>
<line start="2118" end="2169" speaker="homestar">If I hurry, I can still make it to the big game!</line>
<line start="2187" end="2215" speaker="homestar">Glug glug glug glug glug glug glug.</line>
<line start="2218" end="2230" speaker="homestar">Safe!</line>
<line start="2231" end="2251" speaker="sfx">fanfare</line>
<line start="2252" end="2274" speaker="umpire">Uh, what are you doing?</line>
<line start="2275" end="2322" speaker="homestar">I found my hat just in time to score the winning run.</line>
<line start="2323" end="2375" speaker="umpire">Uh, no, actually it's the bottom of the second, your team's down by 94 points,</line>
<line start="2376" end="2407" speaker="umpire">and you just illegally ran onto the field!</line>
<line start="2408" end="2463" speaker="homestar">Get this, it was between the milk and the Cold Ones!</line>
<line start="2464" end="2514" speaker="umpire">Yeah, yeah, you need to head back to the dugout before I toss you out of here, buster!</line>
<line start="2515" end="2560" speaker="homestar">Man, Mr. Umpire, you sure have a funny way of pronouncing-</line>
<line start="2561" end="2586">
<homestar>Homestar Runner's team wins!</homestar>
<line start="2586" end="2619" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="2620" end="2646">
<sfx>music stops</sfx>
<umpire>Yeah, you're suspended from the league.</umpire>
<line start="2647" end="2712" speaker="sfx">music resumes</line>
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