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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for local news. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail89.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="88" speaker="strongbad">It's email time again! Doot doodle-ooh-doo, doot doodle-ooh-doo, doot doodle-ooh-doo.</line>
    <line start="96" end="139" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, Does Strong Badia have its own local news even?"</line>
    <line start="143" end="248" speaker="strongbad">"If so, I hope it's better than my local news. Sincerely, Dan D. Tallaha— Tasalan— Gainesville, Florida"</line>
    <line start="255" end="288" speaker="strongbad">Okay, Dan, I'm only gonna sing this one more time:</line>
    <line start="294" end="339" speaker="strongbad">Ohhhhhhh, if you want it to be possessive, it's just "I-T-S."</line>
    <line start="340" end="405" speaker="strongbad">But, if it's supposed to be a contraction then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S," scalawag.</line>
    <line start="410" end="450" speaker="strongbad">Ahem. Um, of course we've got local news.</line>
    <line start="454" end="475" speaker="strongbad">It's the— It's the greatest!</line>
    <line start="483" end="524" speaker="strongbad">Um... but I— I have to go now...</line>
    <line start="530" end="592" speaker="strongbad">and... do something... completely unrelated to me...</line>
    <line start="597" end="667" speaker="strongbad">throwing together... the aforementioned local news. Hoight!</line>
    <line start="684" end="717" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Strong Badia Action Cool News 5!</line>
    <line start="731" end="759" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Top Stories with anchorperson Strong Bad!</line>
    <line start="772" end="790" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Strong Mad with the sports!</line>
    <line start="801" end="819" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Local weather with Tire!</line>
    <line start="830" end="856" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And The Cheat with SkyCheat Traffic!</line>
    <line start="897" end="943" speaker="strongbad">Good evening and tonight. I'm Strong Bad with today's top stories.</line>
    <line start="953" end="980" speaker="strongbad">The World in Crisis!</line>
    <line start="984" end="995" speaker="strongbad">More on that later.</line>
    <line start="1002" end="1036" speaker="strongbad">Now let's check in with The Cheat with SkyCheat Traffic.</line>
    <line start="1090" end="1108" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1123" end="1139" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1156" end="1174" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1188" end="1204" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1220" end="1236" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1250" end="1271" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1300" end="1325" speaker="homestar">Best five bucks I ever spent.</line>
    <line start="1336" end="1410" speaker="strongbad">Thank you, The Cheat. I guess those roads should not be rode upon, eh?</line>
    <line start="1426" end="1440" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1455" end="1469" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1486" end="1500" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1506" end="1582" speaker="strongbad">Yes, well, thank you, tonight. We'll return to our top story: The World in Crisis.</line>
    <line start="1588" end="1619" speaker="strongbad">But first, here's Strong Mad with the sports.</line>
    <line start="1627" end="1679" speaker="strongmad">I SHOULD WIN! I SHOULD WIN IT!</line>
    <line start="1689" end="1692" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Ow!</line>
    <line start="1693" end="1758" speaker="strongbad">Well, it looks like our eh-sportscaster isn't being a very good eh-sport, eh?</line>
    <line start="1777" end="1791" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1800" end="1847" speaker="strongbad">Will the winter weather chill your cheeks? What's the word, Tire?</line>
    <line start="1942" end="2008" speaker="strongbad">You heard it folks. Bundle up, but keep your swimsuit on outside your pants.</line>
    <line start="2015" end="2039" speaker="strongbad">Tonight folks, and have a great job.</line>
    <line start="2046" end="2120" speaker="strongbad">Remember to tune in tomorrow for our special investigative report exposé: The World in Crisis.</line>
    <line start="2138" end="2206" speaker="strongbad">Strong Badia Action Cool News 5: "We're investiga-awesome."</line>
    <line start="2291" end="2336" speaker="strongbad">Ohhhhh... If you want it to be possessive, it's just "I-T-S."</line>
    <line start="2339" end="2384" speaker="strongbad">But if it's supposed to be a contraction, then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S,"</line>
    <line start="2391" end="2402" speaker="strongbad">Scalawag.</line>
    <line start="2429" end="2471" speaker="strongbad">Whatever happened to capitalization?</line>
    <line start="2477" end="2516" speaker="strongbad">It used to be so cooool.</line>
    <line start="2541" end="2585" speaker="strongbad">Girl, don't forget to spellcheck</line>
    <line start="2586" end="2653" speaker="strongbad">Or I'll come to your house and throw a brick through your dad's windshield...</line>
    <line start="2654" end="2676" speaker="strongbad">Windshield!</line>
    <line start="2703" end="2747" speaker="strongbad">Y-O-U-R...</line>
    <line start="2752" end="2794" speaker="strongbad">Y-O-U-Apostrophe-R-E...</line>
    <line start="2796" end="2844" speaker="strongbad">They're as different as night and day.</line>
    <line start="2846" end="2888" speaker="strongbad">Don't you think that night and day are different?</line>
    <line start="2890" end="2910" speaker="strongbad">What's wrong with you?</line>
    <line start="2938" end="2998" speaker="strongbad">And I don't care how they spell things on the Internet.</line>
    <line start="3004" end="3070" speaker="strongbad">When you email me, you spell the whole word out.</line>
    <line start="3074" end="3135" speaker="strongbad">And I don't care that your cell phone has a camera in it.</line>
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