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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail191.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="66" speaker="strongbad">Oh, who's checkin' email with his pants, who's checkin' email with his pants!</line>
  <line start="77" end="144" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, Do you know whether or not there are ancient ruins buried deep under Strong Badia?</line>
  <line start="145" end="175" speaker="strongbad">"Thanks, Paul M. Pathquaya"</line>
  <line start="176" end="249" speaker="strongbad">Well Pauly Pasqually, I know for sure there's a lotta <em>something</em> buried deep under Strong Badia.</line>
  <line start="250" end="284" speaker="strongbad">Mainly cause I rent out the dirt to unsavory characters...</line>
  <line start="285" end="351" speaker="strongbad">in need of a place to stash, ditch, or make disappear, the evidence of their choice.</line>
  <line start="352" end="392" speaker="strongbad">I never really thought that there might be ancient ruins down there, though.</line>
  <line start="393" end="454" speaker="strongbad">I think this calls for America's coolest children's game show consolation prize: <span style="visibility:hidden">the metal detector!</span></line>
  <line start="455" end="459" speaker="strongbad">I think this calls for America's coolest children's game show consolation prize: the metal detector!</line>
  <line start="460" end="481"><strongbad>I think this calls for America's coolest children's game show consolation prize: the metal detector!</strongbad><sfx>music</sfx></line>
  <line start="482" end="543"><announcer voiceover="voiceover">And our stupid contestants will receive the Taranchula brand Black Metal Detec-tor!</announcer><sfx>music</sfx></line>
  <line start="544" end="576"><announcer voiceover="voiceover">From Videlectrix!</announcer><sfx>music</sfx></line>
  <line start="577" end="622"><mcdoo voiceover="voiceover">Yah guys! Maybe find some coin!</mcdoo><sfx>music</sfx></line>
  <line start="623" end="637" speaker="thecheat">questioning The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="638" end="653" speaker="strongbad">I already told you, man!</line>
  <line start="654" end="682" speaker="strongbad">Where there's ruins, there's riches!</line>
  <line start="683" end="714" speaker="strongbad">And booby traps we can steal ideas from!</line>
  <line start="715" end="720" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="721" end="744" speaker="strongbad">Well, let's do thiiiiiiiiiis! <em>(ends on a high pitch)</em></line>
  <line start="751" end="777" speaker="sfx">heavy metal beats in changing frequency</line>
  <line start="778" end="795"><sfx>heavy metal beats in changing frequency</sfx><strongbad>Whoa, we're getting warm!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="796" end="803" speaker="sfx">heavy metal beats in changing frequency</line>
  <line start="804" end="807" speaker="sfx">guitar solo</line>
  <line start="808" end="830"><sfx>guitar solo</sfx><strongbad>We've got something, The Cheat!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="858" end="905" speaker="strongbad">It looks like the top of an enormous riches-filled structure!</line>
  <line start="906" end="929" speaker="strongbad">And wait, there's an inscription!</line>
  <line start="930" end="991" speaker="strongbad">"Col...donesdry..." Must be the name of an ancient civilization!</line>
  <line start="992" end="1044" speaker="strongsad">Uh, me again! I think that's just the cap of a bottle of...</line>
  <line start="1045" end="1095" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Cold Ones Dry. You could probably just pick it up.</line>
  <line start="1096" end="1127" speaker="strongbad">What, are you crazy? I'm not touching that thing!</line>
  <line start="1128" end="1185" speaker="strongbad">It's booby trapped! It'll shoot a bunch of poison-tipped witch doctors at me!</line>
  <line start="1186" end="1249" speaker="strongsad">Riiiiiight. Or, it's just a bottle cap, and you're crazier than ever.</line>
  <line start="1250" end="1278" speaker="strongbad">You may be half right, kid.</line>
  <line start="1279" end="1304" speaker="strongbad">Now, help me find some dang riches.</line>
  <line start="1305" end="1328"><strongbad>Uh...uh...</strongbad><sfx>heavy metal beats in changing frequency</sfx></line>
  <line start="1329" end="1338"><strongbad>Whoa!</strongbad><sfx>guitar solo</sfx></line>
  <line start="1339" end="1369" speaker="strongbad">Check out this futuristic sheet of paper!</line>
  <line start="1376" end="1408" speaker="strongbad">Oh. My. Geez.</line>
  <line start="1409" end="1469" speaker="strongbad">I knew it! Strong Badia was originally colonized by extra-terrestrials!</line>
  <line start="1470" end="1494" speaker="strongbad">That explains why I'm so brilliant!</line>
  <line start="1495" end="1555" speaker="strongbad">And why all beings look the same except for slight differences of our foreheads!</line>
  <line start="1556" end="1628" speaker="strongsad">No, that's just a piece of tin foil with a picture Strong Mad drew of you when you were little.</line>
  <line start="1629" end="1671" speaker="strongsad">There's even a petrified chicken nugget in there that he left you.</line>
  <line start="1672" end="1706" speaker="strongbad">Quit ruining my ruins, Jurassic Dork!</line>
  <line start="1707" end="1734" speaker="strongbad">This clearly says "Babby Alien".</line>
  <line start="1735" end="1820" speaker="strongbad">Which is probably the name of my true mother, who left me here as a young larva hundreds of years ago, until someone,</line>
  <line start="1821" end="1886" speaker="strongbad">I'm guessing an elderly oatmeal enthusiast, unwittingly disturbed my cocoon.</line>
  <line start="1887" end="1934" speaker="strongbad">Oh, Babs! Why did you leave me stranded here?</line>
  <line start="1935" end="1959" speaker="bubs">Oh, sorry about that, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1960" end="1982" speaker="bubs">Was I supposed to come earlier?</line>
  <line start="1983" end="2019" speaker="strongbad">What? No, I said "Babs". <em>"Babs".</em></line>
  <line start="2020" end="2065" speaker="bubs">Bubs, Babs, whatever. I take what I can get.</line>
  <line start="2066" end="2074" speaker="strongbad">Whahn?</line>
  <line start="2075" end="2129" speaker="bubs">Anyways, I'm here for my weekly, <em>Ahem</em>, "delivery".</line>
  <line start="2130" end="2158" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Yeah, yeah, just bury it wherever.</line>
  <line start="2159" end="2210" speaker="strongbad">But if you uncover any ruins, or hot aliens, or riches, they're mine, OK?</line>
  <line start="2211" end="2244" speaker="bubs">Uh, what about fellas named Rich?</line>
  <line start="2245" end="2279" speaker="strongbad">Wha-what? No, I don't know anyone named Rich.</line>
  <line start="2280" end="2293" speaker="bubs">OK, good.</line>
  <line start="2294" end="2315" speaker="bubs">Then he can stay where he is!</line>
  <line start="2316" end="2374" speaker="strongsad">Uh, is there anyway I can unhear the last few sentences?</line>
  <line start="2375" end="2404" speaker="strongsad">Or years of my life?</line>
  <line start="2405" end="2470" speaker="strongbad">So, no, Pascual Perez, there are no ancient ruins buried under Strong Badia.</line>
  <line start="2471" end="2511" speaker="strongbad">Or, at least, not one foot under Strong Badia.</line>
  <line start="2512" end="2553" speaker="strongbad">Digging is hard, man! Did you ever try to dig a hole?</line>
  <line start="2554" end="2610" speaker="strongbad">It's not all wipes and montages like in the movies. It takes forever!</line>
  <line start="2611" end="2637" speaker="strongbad">But who knows what wonders lie, say,</line>
  <line start="2638" end="2675" speaker="strongbad">one-and-a-half feet beneath Strong Badia?</line>
  <line start="2676" end="2732" speaker="strongbad">Or, dare I say it, a few feet beneath Strong Badia.</line>
  <line start="2733" end="2776" speaker="strongbad">Why, it staggers the bad imagination.</line>
  <line start="2800" end="2830" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2832" end="2875" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Ooh, that thing looks delicious!</line>
  <line start="2876" end="2958" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">I'll take two slices of that, a piece of the igneous pie, and a molten core tart.</line>
  <line start="2959" end="2981" speaker="lady" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, that looks sinful!</line>
  <line start="2982" end="3001" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Shut up, lady!</line>
  <line start="3002" end="3067" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Cold Ones Dry, the official beverage of Taranchula.</line>
  <line start="3068" end="3108" speaker="mcdoo" voiceover="voiceover">Yah guys, Yold Ones Vry!</line>
  <line start="3109" end="3164" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">That's right Sven, learn to speak American.</line>
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