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<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail184.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="17" end="79" speaker="strongbad">I baked you this special email! It has... raisins.</line>
<line start="80" end="93" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad,</line>
<line start="94" end="139" speaker="strongbad">"I have to do some crappy, really stupid diorama this year.</line>
<line start="140" end="209" speaker="strongbad">"I want it to be bloody and gory, but it has to be "Middle School Appropriate," or whatever.</line>
<line start="210" end="224" speaker="strongbad">"Got any tips?</line>
<line start="225" end="259" speaker="strongbad">"Molly T., Charlotte, Not Charlotte."</line>
<line start="260" end="283" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, it's like you're no place!</line>
<line start="284" end="387" speaker="strongbad">So you're telling me that Ms. Charbroiledburger, or whoever actually told you to make a crappy, really stupid diorama for an assignment?</line>
<line start="388" end="415" speaker="strongbad">Now that's what I call edjakashun!!</line>
<line start="416" end="482" speaker="strongbad">No sense in thinking about this one until you're on the bus on the way to school the morning it's due.</line>
<line start="483" end="527" speaker="strongbad">Then it's time to whip out my old standby-orama:</line>
<line start="528" end="575" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Whimsical World of School Supplies!</line>
<line start="576" end="611" speaker="strongbad">But dioramas shouldn't be wasted, Mollyman.</line>
<line start="612" end="719" speaker="strongbad">This is probably the only school-approved opportunity to melt small plastic animals and shame our beloved literary characters that you're ever gonna get.</line>
<line start="720" end="759" speaker="strongbad">I say embrace it! I say deface it!!</line>
<line start="760" end="773" speaker="strongbad">Here are my tips:</line>
<line start="774" end="835" speaker="strongbad">first off, behind every good diorama is an even gooder shoebox.</line>
<line start="836" end="883" speaker="strongbad">So unless you wanna get called The Stride-Rite Kid for the rest of your life,</line>
<line start="884" end="933" speaker="strongbad">you better go buy a pair of the coolest, most expensive shoes on the market.</line>
<line start="934" end="942" speaker="sfx">ding!</line>
<line start="943" end="1004" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Or at least modify a box of cheapo, generico shoes to look expensive.</line>
<line start="1013" end="1034" speaker="strongbad">Now let's talk about topics.</line>
<line start="1035" end="1106" speaker="strongbad">If the assignment calls for a science diorama, just slap some glue on some cotton balls and BANG!</line>
<line start="1107" end="1144" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, <span style="visibility:hidden">snowmen, aaaaand... cotton... balls.</span></line>
<line start="1145" end="1156" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, <span style="visibility:hidden">aaaaand... cotton... balls.</span></line>
<line start="1157" end="1170" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, aaaaand... <span style="visibility:hidden">cotton... balls.</span></line>
<line start="1171" end="1179" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, aaaaand... cotton... <span style="visibility:hidden">balls.</span></line>
<line start="1180" end="1192" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, aaaaand... cotton... balls.</line>
<line start="1193" end="1214" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But if you're out of cotton balls,</line>
<line start="1215" end="1264" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">real chunks of the King of Town's beard make a great substitute.</line>
<line start="1265" end="1322" speaker="kingoftown">To be fair, I did eat all the cotton balls.</line>
<line start="1323" end="1381" speaker="strongbad">If you need to make some historical diorama, there's only one way to go:</line>
<line start="1382" end="1417" speaker="strongbad">presidential assassinations.</line>
<line start="1418" end="1464" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You can immortalize such tragic moments in U.S. history as...</line>
<line start="1465" end="1495" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">the robot that effortlessly offed Jimmy Carter.</line>
<line start="1496" end="1511"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">the robot that effortlessly offed Jimmy Carter.</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="1512" end="1543"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">And if it's a book report diorama you're doing,</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="1544" end="1602" speaker="strongbad">the easiest way to get around reading an actual book is to make one up yourself!</line>
<line start="1603" end="1638" speaker="strongbad">I can't tell you how many dioramas I got out of</line>
<line start="1639" end="1680" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>The King Of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland!</i> <span style="visibility:hidden">Books I through VII.</span></line>
<line start="1681" end="1700" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>The King Of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland!</i> Books I through VII.</line>
<line start="1701" end="1767" speaker="strongbad">Though with the internet, it's probably easier for teachers to check your sources than in my day.</line>
<line start="1768" end="1799" speaker="strongbad">To get away with that now, you'd also have to make</line>
<line start="1800" end="1845" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">a fake website for the book, and the author, and the publisher,</line>
<line start="1846" end="1899" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and just to be safe, maybe go ahead and actually write the book.</line>
<line start="1900" end="1934" speaker="strongbad">Man. It's gotten so hard to cheat these days!</line>
<line start="1935" end="1965" speaker="thecheat">agreeing The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="1966" end="2009" speaker="strongbad">Finally, let me address your concerns about blood and gore.</line>
<line start="2010" end="2072" speaker="strongbad">There's an easy loophole to exploit here, Molly. A little something I like to call... <span style="visibility:hidden">uh-dinosaurs.</span></line>
<line start="2073" end="2095" speaker="strongbad">There's an easy loophole to exploit here, Molly. A little something I like to call... uh-dinosaurs.</line>
<line start="2096" end="2166" speaker="strongbad">No teacher can argue, that an Allosaurus tearing apart its prey is bound to be pretty gruesome.</line>
<line start="2167" end="2231" speaker="strongbad" vocieover="voiceover">And if that prey just happens to be the signers of The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo,</line>
<line start="2232" end="2259" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">well that's bound to be pretty messed up too.</line>
<line start="2260" end="2307" speaker="strongbad">Oh man, that is too awesome. I gotta get in on that action.</line>
<line start="2308" end="2366" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, take that, Nicholas Trist, representative for president James K. Polk!</line>
<line start="2367" end="2424" speaker="strongbad">I'll teach you to mess with my Rio Grande! And my Rio Bravo!</line>
<line start="2425" end="2463" speaker="strongbad">Well Mollybdenum, you think you got enough to go on?</line>
<line start="2464" end="2497" speaker="strongbad">You're gonna dioRAM their socks off!</line>
<line start="2498" end="2571" speaker="strongbad">Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help that robot vaporize The Old Public Functionary!</line>
<line start="2572" end="2584" speaker="sfx">The Geddup Noise</line>
<line start="2585" end="2629"><strongbad>Come on, Boltotron! Hit him with the Byoo-Cannon!</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="2630" end="2658"><strongbad>Byoo byo-byoo byoo byo-byo-byoo!</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="2659" end="2688" speaker="newpaper">shuffling sound</line>
<line start="2694" end="2751" speaker="coachz">Well hey there Ronmartin Realdude, it's the big Z.</line>
<line start="2752" end="2791" speaker="coachz">Just giving you a call on my new cell phone.</line>
<line start="2792" end="2810" speaker="coachz">What's that you say?</line>
<line start="2811" end="2899" speaker="coachz">Well I sure am flattered Ronmartin, but I've already got a gorgeous girlfriend name o' Marzipan.</line>
<line start="2926" end="2983" speaker="cardgage">Oh. Hello-quialism. Who are these guys?</line>
<line start="2984" end="3064" speaker="announcer">All new 2008 Air Cardgage! Only! Only at Styles Upon Styles!</line>
<line start="3065" end="3110" speaker="cardgage">This is not what I sagged on for.</line>
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