Subtitles:sbemail183/en
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| These are the English subtitles for yes, wrestling. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer. |
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail183.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="17" end="86" speaker="strongbad">Emailin' from the left and to the right, emailin' on a Tuuuuesday night!</line> <line start="87" end="139" speaker="strongbad">"Dear awesome Strong Bad." Period. That's the best sentence ever written!</line> <line start="140" end="183" speaker="strongbad">"Could you please show us some of your awesome wrestling moves."</line> <line start="184" end="229" speaker="strongbad">"Gardenboy. Best friends never, South Africa."</line> <line start="230" end="301" speaker="strongbad">Well Gardenboy, as a crafty ring veteran, I can let you in on a little secret:</line> <line start="302" end="354" speaker="strongbad">Being an awesome wrestler has nothing to do with awesome wrestling moves!</line> <line start="355" end="426" speaker="strongbad">It's all about awesome costumes, gimmicks, and dinosaur tranquilizer fueled ranting and raving!</line> <line start="427" end="493" speaker="strongbad">I got my first big break with cable access's longest named wrestling organization:</line> <line start="494" end="544" speaker="strongbad">All World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment, <span style="visibility:hidden">or AWMPSCE.</span></line> <line start="545" end="560" speaker="strongbad">All World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment, or AWMPSCE.</line> <line start="561" end="647" speaker="strongbad">Of course, they wanted me to be one of those lame masked wrestlers at first, but I had gimmickier plans.</line> <line start="648" end="682" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sir Boliver Turnbuckle and his signature move:</line> <line start="683" end="707" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The one-eighth nelson!</line> <line start="708" end="776" speaker="strongbad">That was back in the days when pretending to be a pompous Brit was considered a <i>premium</i> gimmick.</line> <line start="777" end="824" speaker="strongbad">Once I started getting more popular, my next incarnation was...</line> <line start="825" end="879" speaker="theannouncer" voiceover="voiceover">And hailing from the age of exploration, the namer of nations,</line> <line start="880" end="903" speaker="theannouncer" voiceover="voiceover">il Cartographer!</line> <line start="904" end="929"> <kingoftown voiceover="voiceover">Booooooo!</kingoftown> <singers voiceover="voiceover">il Cartographer!</singers> </line> <line start="930" end="940" speaker="leadsinger" voiceover="voiceover">He makin' the maps!</line> <line start="941" end="960" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">il Cartographer!</line> <line start="961" end="974" speaker="leadsinger" voiceover="voiceover">He takin' no crap!</line> <line start="975" end="1048" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And one of my gimmicks was that I'd always come into the ring throwing maps to the restrooms into the crowd!</line> <line start="1049" end="1102" speaker="strongbad">I claim-a this saggy ring in the name of il Cartographer!</line> <line start="1103" end="1120" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Boooooo!</line> <line start="1121" end="1170" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">That was back when my big feud with Homestar Runner was in full swing!</line> <line start="1173" end="1236" speaker="theannouncer" voiceover="voiceover">Ladies and gentlemen! Joining me backstage in historic empty high school gymnasium—</line> <line start="1237" end="1269" speaker="theannouncer">is a man that needs no introduction.</line> <line start="1270" end="1283" speaker="theannouncer">Introducing: <span style="visibility:hidden">The Jack 'Em Up Kid!</span></line> <line start="1284" end="1300" speaker="theannouncer">Introducing: The Jack 'Em Up Kid!</line> <line start="1301" end="1324" speaker="homestar">Well, you know, announcer man, that's right! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo, yeah!</span></line> <line start="1325" end="1335" speaker="homestar">Well, you know, announcer man, that's right! Hoo, yeah!</line> <line start="1336" end="1387" speaker="homestar">Jack 'Em Up Kid, empty high school gymnasium, Sizzleweight belt on the line! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo, yeah!</span></line> <line start="1388" end="1395" speaker="homestar">Jack 'Em Up Kid, empty high school gymnasium, Sizzleweight belt on the line! Hoo, yeah!</line> <line start="1396" end="1434" speaker="homestar">That's right! That's correct! That's precisely what I'm talking about!</line> <line start="1435" end="1470" speaker="homestar">I got the drive, I got the commotion! I can't believe it! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo, yeah!</span></line> <line start="1471" end="1479" speaker="homestar">I got the drive, I got the commotion! I can't believe it! Hoo, yeah!</line> <line start="1480" end="1506" speaker="homestar">el Photographer, whatchoo gonna did?</line> <line start="1507" end="1523" speaker="homestar">When you get jacked up?</line> <line start="1524" end="1541" speaker="homestar"><i>(muffled)</i> By the Jack 'Em Up Kid?</line> <line start="1542" end="1592" speaker="strongbad">And that feud carried over into my tag team phase with Strong Mad.</line> <line start="1593" end="1639" speaker="strongbad">Naturally, there were several misfires before we found our groove.</line> <line start="1640" end="1656" speaker="strongbad">Nothing can stop: <span style="visibility:hidden">the Wild Vacationers!</span></line> <line start="1657" end="1685" speaker="strongbad">Nothing can stop: the Wild Vacationers!</line> <line start="1689" end="1706" speaker="strongbad">You betta not mess with: <span style="visibility:hidden">the Foreign Object Brothers!</span></line> <line start="1707" end="1737" speaker="strongbad">You betta not mess with: the Foreign Object Brothers!</line> <line start="1741" end="1807" speaker="strongbad">Rax and Arby: The Sanctum of Spiky Shoulder Pads.</line> <line start="1809" end="1829" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But we finally settled on...</line> <line start="1830" end="1858" speaker="strongbad">The Facepaint Connection!</line> <line start="1859" end="1931" speaker="strongbad">Jack 'Em Up Kid, Gary the Legend, when we step into the ring with the insidious Mr. Cheatayama,</line> <line start="1932" end="2022" speaker="strongbad">You better hope for your guts and your mercy can save you at this Sunday's PayPerViewver Series.</line> <line start="2023" end="2134" speaker="strongbad">I didn't climb the mountains and breathe the facepainted fumes just to let you two walk away with the title I'm done take me off the air!</line> <line start="2135" end="2152" speaker="strongbad">TAKE ME OFF THE AIR!!!</line> <line start="2153" end="2157" speaker="sfx">static</line> <line start="2158" end="2175" speaker="homestar">Hoo, yeah! That's right!</line> <line start="2176" end="2190" speaker="homestar">Facepaint Connection! <span style="visibility:hidden">You can't resist the power of all the screamin' Jack 'Emites and Jack 'Emettes out there</span></line> <line start="2191" end="2202" speaker="homestar">Facepaint Connection! You can't resist <span style="visibility:hidden">the power of all the screamin' Jack 'Emites and Jack 'Emettes out there</span></line> <line start="2203" end="2210" speaker="homestar">Facepaint Connection! You can't resist the power <span style="visibility:hidden">of all the screamin' Jack 'Emites and Jack 'Emettes out there</span></line> <line start="2211" end="2230" speaker="homestar">Facepaint Connection! You can't resist the power of all the screamin' Jack 'Emites <span style="visibility:hidden">and Jack 'Emettes out there</span></line> <line start="2231" end="2247" speaker="homestar">Facepaint Connection! You can't resist the power of all the screamin' Jack 'Emites and Jack 'Emettes out there</line> <line start="2248" end="2264" speaker="homestar">When I pin you to the ground <span style="visibility:hidden">for a count of three which is the legal way to win a match in this wrestling federation the last time I checked.</span></line> <line start="2265" end="2278" speaker="homestar">When I pin you to the ground for a count of three <span style="visibility:hidden">which is the legal way to win a match in this wrestling federation the last time I checked.</span></line> <line start="2279" end="2293" speaker="homestar">When I pin you to the ground for a count of three which is the legal way <span style="visibility:hidden">to win a match in this wrestling federation the last time I checked.</span></line> <line start="2294" end="2303" speaker="homestar">When I pin you to the ground for a count of three which is the legal way to win a match <span style="visibility:hidden">in this wrestling federation the last time I checked.</span></line> <line start="2304" end="2322" speaker="homestar">When I pin you to the ground for a count of three which is the legal way to win a match in this wrestling federation <span style="visibility:hidden">the last time I checked.</span></line> <line start="2323" end="2338" speaker="homestar">When I pin you to the ground for a count of three which is the legal way to win a match in this wrestling federation the last time I checked.</line> <line start="2339" end="2365" speaker="homestar">Gary the Legend, take it away!</line> <line start="2366" end="2458" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that Gary the Legend was Homestar's <i>imaginary</i> tag team partner.</line> <line start="2459" end="2485" speaker="homestar">You tell 'em! You tell 'em, Gary! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo, yeah!</span></line> <line start="2486" end="2496" speaker="homestar">You tell 'em! You tell 'em, Gary! Hoo, yeah!</line> <line start="2497" end="2578" speaker="strongbad">Eventually I began wrestling as my own dang self and finally achieved what every wrestler strives for:</line> <line start="2579" end="2613" speaker="strongbad">My own in-ring interview segment!</line> <line start="2614" end="2689" speaker="strongbad">Never before had two chairs and a potted plant so transformed the wrestling ring!</line> <line start="2690" end="2753" speaker="theannouncer" voiceover="voiceover">It's time for another installment of Strong Bad's Folding Chair Dungeon!</line> <line start="2754" end="2819" speaker="strongbad">Welcome back to the darkest dankest regions of my dungeon!</line> <line start="2820" end="2876" speaker="strongbad">My prisoner this week is the current fizzleweight belt holder:</line> <line start="2877" end="2894" speaker="strongbad">The Jack 'Em Up Kid!</line> <line start="2899" end="2915" speaker="homestar">Hoo, yeah! Hoo, yeah!</line> <line start="2927" end="3002" speaker="strongbad">So you see Gardenboy, you should stop trying to perfect the Summer Squash Suplex</line> <line start="3003" end="3108" speaker="strongbad">and instead get yourself a rake, a straw hat, maybe a watering can and start screaming about how your opponents are gophers!</line> <line start="3109" end="3122" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Gardenboy!</line> <line start="3123" end="3139" speaker="leadsinger" voiceover="voiceover">He's plantin' the seeds!</line> <line start="3140" end="3153" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Gardenboy!</line> <line start="3154" end="3172" speaker="leadsinger" voiceover="voiceover">He's pullin' out the weeds!</line> <line start="3173" end="3182" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Gardenboy!</line> <line start="3183" end="3207" speaker="leadsinger" voiceover="voiceover">He's gonna bring ya to your knees!</line> <line start="3208" end="3268" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">He's the il Cartographer, I mean, Gardenboy!</line> <line start="3269" end="3304" speaker="strongsad">All right, all you gophers out there, <span style="visibility:hidden">ha-bring-it-on!</span></line> <line start="3305" end="3327" speaker="strongsad">All right, all you gophers out there, ha-bring-it-on!</line> <line start="3328" end="3343" speaker="sfx">fwoosh, fwoosh</line> <line start="3344" end="3373" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">shuffling noises</line> <line start="3406" end="3468" speaker="homestar">Hey, Strong Bad. I really like your Rudy from <i>Fat Albert</i> costume.</line> <line start="3476" end="3511" speaker="theannouncer">And Rax, anything you'd care to add?</line> <line start="3512" end="3576" speaker="strongmad">BEEF AND CHEDDAR! FIVE FOR FIVE!</line> </transcript>
