Subtitles:sbemail177/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail177.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="102" speaker="strongbad"><i>(singing)</i> Gropin' around in the dark, tryin' ta find an email! Da-da-da-blue-got-an-dow!</line>
<line start="102" end="122" speaker="strongbad">"Hails and Horns, Strong Bad!"</line>
<line start="122" end="142" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">rock-ish scream</line>
<line start="142" end="177" speaker="strongbad">"Have you ever been watching your favorite shows and sequels,</line>
<line start="177" end="245" speaker="strongbad">"and suddenly realized that your favorite character has been unscrupulously replaced with another actor?</line>
<line start="245" end="295" speaker="strongbad">"Nicholas and Antonio, Lansing, Michigan."</line>
<line start="295" end="326" speaker="strongbad">Wait, you guys are really asking me that?</line>
<line start="326" end="353" speaker="strongbad">We do that to you people all the time.</line>
<line start="353" end="389" speaker="strongbad">There've been like twelve King of Towns.</line>
<line start="389" end="415" speaker="strongbad">And are you telling me you've already forgotten about <span style="visibility:hidden">the original Bubs?</span></line>
<line start="415" end="440" speaker="strongbad">And are you telling me you've already forgotten about the original Bubs?</line>
<line start="440" end="484" speaker="homestar">Hi, Original Bubs! How's original business?</line>
<line start="484" end="529" speaker="originalbubs">Hey, Homestar. I can see you from here!</line>
<line start="529" end="558" speaker="homestar">That's some great eyesight, Original Bubs!</line>
<line start="558" end="580"><strongbad voiceover="y">But it wasn't all good eyesight and cheap prices!</strongbad></line>
<line start="580" end="600"><strongbad voiceover="y">But it wasn't all good eyesight and cheap prices!</strongbad><sfx>creepy music</sfx></line>
<line start="600" end="670"><strongbad voiceover="y">Behind the scenes lay a thick bubbling pit of crude turmoil!</strongbad><sfx>creepy music</sfx></line>
<line start="670" end="730" speaker="originalbubs">Who ate all the mayo off of my egg salad?! And how?!</line>
<line start="730" end="780" speaker="kingoftown">It's a proprietary technique I can't reveal!</line>
<line start="780" end="833" speaker="originalbubs">This is the first and last straw! I'm outta here, you amateurs!</line>
<line start="833" end="898" sfx="sfx">amateurish music</line>
<line start="898" end="929" speaker="strongbad">With Original Bubs' future uncertain,</line>
<line start="929" end="982" speaker="strongbad">we had to come up with some pretty creative ways to write him into stories,</line>
<line start="982" end="1010" speaker="strongbad">so that viewers didn't know he was gone.</line>
<line start="1010" end="1096" speaker="homestar">Well, Original Bubs, who is totally behind that refrigerator box, says <i>I</i> won the yodeling contest.</line>
<line start="1096" end="1144" speaker="homestar">Well, Original Bubs, who is totally behind that dishwasher box...</line>
<line start="1144" end="1170" speaker="homestar">...behind that washer/dryer box...</line>
<line start="1170" end="1192" speaker="homestar">...that hot water heater box...</line>
<line start="1192" end="1229" speaker="homestar">...behind that toothpick sculpture?</line>
<line start="1229" end="1273" speaker="strongbad">Once it became apparent that Original Bubs was gone for good,</line>
<line start="1273" end="1317" speaker="strongbad">there was an interim period of rotating guest Bubs.</line>
<line start="1317" end="1359" speaker="strongbad">Like when talk show hosts have surgery, or go to jail.</line>
<line start="1359" end="1415" speaker="homestar">Hey there, Senator Cardgage Bubs! Lemme get a manila cheese Coke!</line>
<line start="1415" end="1429" speaker="cardgage">Oh... <span style="visibility:hidden">I should eat a pony.</span></line>
<line start="1429" end="1464" speaker="cardgage">Oh... I should eat a pony.</line>
<line start="1464" end="1480" speaker="crack">BLAAAAAAAAAAH!!</line>
<line start="1480" end="1517" speaker="crack">What can I get, for you fine gentlemen?</line>
<line start="1517" end="1555" speaker="strongbad">Never mind, Crack Stunt Bubs.</line>
<line start="1555" end="1569" speaker="crack">Oh... <span style="visibility:hidden">I should eat a pony.</span></line>
<line start="1569" end="1599" speaker="crack">Oh... I should eat a pony.</line>
<line start="1599" end="1626" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">And don't forget fan favorite, <span style="visibility:hidden">Onion Bubs.</span></line>
<line start="1626" end="1642" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">And don't forget fan favorite, Onion Bubs.</line>
<line start="1642" end="1652"><sfx>crowd cheering</sfx><other voiceover="y">Onion Bubs!</other></line>
<line start="1652" end="1676"><sfx>crowd cheering</sfx><other voiceover="y">Onion Buuuubs!!</other></line>
<line start="1676" end="1738"><sfx>crowd cheering</sfx><other voiceover="y">Onion Buuuuuuuuuuuuuubs!!!!</other></line>
<line start="1738" end="1826" speaker="strongbad">Finally, we had to settle on a little known Bubs with zero experience. And it's been downhill ever since.</line>
<line start="1826" end="1838" speaker="bubs" voiceover="y">Ahem!</line>
<line start="1838" end="1858" speaker="strongbad">Oh, hey, New Bubs.</line>
<line start="1858" end="1905" speaker="bubs">We're gonna need a new Strong Bad in about two seconds!</line>
<line start="1905" end="1978" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, Original Bubs used to threaten me like that. It just doesn't sound the same coming out of you.</line>
<line start="1978" end="2007" sfx="sfx">punching noises</line>
<line start="2007" end="2066" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, Original Bubs used to pummel me senseless like that. It just doesn't sound--</line>
<line start="2066" end="2084" speaker="strongbad">OKAY OKAY OKAY!!!</line>
<line start="2084" end="2128" speaker="bubs">You tell these people <em>I'm</em> the original Buh... <span style="visibility:hidden">b'zuh.</span></line>
<line start="2128" end="2145" speaker="bubs">You tell these people <em>I'm</em> the original Buh... b'zuh.</line>
<line start="2145" end="2173" speaker="strongbad">All right! You're the original Bubs!</line>
<line start="2173" end="2186" speaker="bubs">That's right! <span style="visibility:hidden">100% All Original Bubs!</span></line>
<line start="2186" end="2230" speaker="bubs">That's right! 100% All Original Bubs!</line>
<line start="2230" end="2280" speaker="bubs">If I had thumbs, I'd be sticking 'em up my armpits right now!</line>
<line start="2280" end="2333" speaker="announcer" voiceover="y">100% all original Bubs! If he had thumbs, he'd be sticking 'em up his armpits right now!</line>
<line start="2333" end="2352" speaker="announcer" voiceover="y">100% all original Bubs! If he had thumbs, he'd be sticking 'em up his armpits right now!<br/>
<span style="font-size:0.8em">Uhhhhh...</span></line>
<line start="2352" end="2376" speaker="strongbad">But we really do replace people.</line>
<line start="2376" end="2405" speaker="strongbad">Take the New Paper, for instance.</line>
<line start="2405" end="2425" speaker="strongbad">Come on, New Paper, <span style="visibility:hidden">disappoint me!</span></line>
<line start="2425" end="2440" speaker="strongbad">Come on, New Paper, disappoint me!</line>
<line start="2440" end="2462" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line>
<line start="2462" end="2470" speaker="strongbad">Whoop.</line>
<line start="2470" end="2531" speaker="strongbad">Ahh, when it comes to disappointin', you never disappoint.</line>

<!-- Easter eggs -->
<line start="2546" end="2575" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">sighs</line>
<line start="2575" end="2594" speaker="marzipan">What's the matter, Homestar?</line>
<line start="2594" end="2626" speaker="homestar">I miss Original Bubs.</line>
<line start="2626" end="2655" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, Strong Bad made all that stuff up.</line>
<line start="2655" end="2698" speaker="homestar">You can't make up eyesight that good.</line>
<line start="2698" end="2760" speaker="homestar"><i>(sobbing)</i> He could always see me... from over there.</line>
<line start="2768" end="2876" sfx="sfx">crickets chirping</line>
</transcript>
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